Eating apples in public

Seriously, stop doing that.
It's obnoxious.
We know you go home and eat Double Stuff Oreos.

And we're on a packed ****ing subway!!!
I don't need to hear you chomping behind me and worry if you'll drip juice or apple bits on me.

 

*flosses*

 

*Starts to eat apples in public*

 

So whats wrong with eating apples in public?

 

Whatever you do, don't eat Adam's apples in public.

 

I always feel cool when I'm eating fruit in public. I'm not quite sure why, but I do.

 

You are what you eat.

 

We're on a packed train. It's loud. It's biting and chewing and gross. It sprays juice and apple bits around the train. It's inconsiderate in crowded enclosed quarters.

 

Me too. I feel like Huck Finn or something.

 

This same situation is in Genesis

 

How about if you've cut the apple into slices. Does that make it more okay?

 

I am better about sliced apples. It doesn't make the mess and can be quieter and more discreet.

 

How about oranges?

 

I'm always self-conscious about eating bananas in public. I tend to check and see if anyone's looking at me before taking a bite.

 

What food can be eaten in a crowd without bothering someone?

 

Dried fruit? Yes!

Fresh fruit? Hellz no.


That is the rules. People must stick it.

 

M&Ms

 

What happens when someone runs over and knocks them to the floor?

 

what about grapples? i heard christian bale eats apples in public. then another source told me it was grapples, which i can believe because grapples are so incredibly delicious.

 

I've had a change of heart. Eating apples in public is cool for cats.
**** the naysayers.

 

Okay..

 

Coincidentally, I am drinking apple juice right now. Perfect timing!

I once knew a guy who would eat apples in public, core and all. The core, I tell you! What madness!

 

Only if you share. If you don't have enough M&M's for everybody, don't eat them in front of us!

 

Why the core?

 

Because if you eat the seeds you can build up an immunity to arsenic poisoning.