Saga Foreign Relations - A SW/Discworld crossover (Anakin, Padmé, Obi / Vetinari, the Watch, Death)

Hi everyone!

After a few years of silence, I'm returning to JC's Fanfic community, with this fic of mine. Not long ago, I discovered the amazing Discworld novels and immediately fell in love with them, and Terry Pratchett is now one of my most favourite authors. And now I decided to write (or at least attempt to write ) a Star Wars crossover with Discworld, because I thought it could be interesting. I'll try my best to do justice to both worlds.

Of course, all feedback is welcome, feel free to comment on anything!

And a big thank you to my dear ex-Master and beta, DarthIshtar!


Title: Foreign Relations
Author: Mar17swgirl
Characters: SW - Anakin, Padmé, Obi-Wan; DW - Commander Sam Vimes, Lord Vetinari, Death, the City Watch and others
Timeframe: SW - shortly before the beginning of AOTC; DW - Between The Truth and Thief of Time
Genre: AU: Humour, action
Summary: A magical thunderstorm over the Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork creates a distortion in timespace, which mysteriously sends Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padmé to Discworld. While they try to find a way back, someone is plotting to overthrow the Patrician, Lord Vetinari. And Death finds himself a new friend.

And last, but not least:
Disclaimer: The SW characters belong to George Lucas; Discworld and its characters belong to Terry Pratchett (with an occasional minor OC). I just threw them together against their will.

* * * * * * * * * *

There is a world.

It is circle-shaped and flat, and moves through the space carried by four great elephants, who in turn stand on the back of a giant turtle ? the Great A'Tuin, the Space Turtle.

It is Discworld, a world and a mirror of worlds.

Incidentally, such a phenomenon is regarded by most people to be nearly impossible, and therefore existing only as a myth, a relic from the legends of Dark Ages. They firmly believe that the only reasonable shape for an inhabitable world is a globe. This apparent narrow-mindedness only shows the general lack of imagination of the human race - another proof that the brain was designed mainly as a device to cool blood, and not for doing any serious thinking.

On the other hand, the inhabitants of Discworld would find a prospect of a round world quite ridiculous (apart from old orthodox Omnians, who erroneously believed that Discworld is in fact a globe). They think that anyone living on a round world (even if it were inhabitable) would inevitably go mad, since walking along a straight line and eventually coming back to the point of start would drive anyone insane.

Curiously enough, all this corresponds perfectly with the General Theory of Relativity, discovered and formulated by Bertie Onestone, a dwarf from Copperhead. Its main idea is that "generally, everything is relative, so don't worry about it and have some beer".

But anyway, both these groups (the peoples of Discworld and the "roundworlders") continued to live on, happily ignorant of the possibility of the others' existence.

Until now.

By some inexplicable stroke of Chance (and let's admit it, she sometimes have a really bad sense of humour), came to pass something that is called by many names ? Meeting Point, Collision of Worlds, or (as used by an obscure group of people called fanfiction writers), a Crossover. And the blissful ignorance would dissolve into a shocked realisation that nothing was as it seemed, and that everything was, in fact, possible.

The Great A'Tuin swam steadily on through the vastness of the void, keeping her (or his; the Turtle Gender Question hasn't been resolved yet) eyes on her (or his) Destiny. The Discworld's small sun was setting, glittering in the mist of the falling waters of Rimfall and shining brightly in the magnificent eight-coloured Rimbow.

And over Ankh-Morpork, a magical storm raged.

*

It was later believed to be the biggest and most violent magical storm in the last three hundred years. Dark clouds swirled over Ankh-Morpork, and even more so o

 

Oooo this is great. You write really well, this is just the right style for a discworld crossover!

I am intrigued to find out what has happened to Obi-Wan and whether Anakin will find his lightsaber and his clothes!!!

Great start

I look forward to the next instalment! Will you being sending PM's?

 

Thanks, Diamond! Yeah, I'm trying to write it in the same style the Discworld books are written - but then, I'm no Terry Pratchett, so I know it won't be perfect.

PMs - sure, if people are interested. And if I don't forget.

 

Well I am definitely interested!!!!

 

I haven?t read Discworld so I hope that it won?t be necessary to be able to read this. I loved this start and I?m really looking forward to read more. Please, if you do have a pm list, add me to it, thanks.

 

It's not a prerequisite, but you may miss some jokes and references...

Perhaps I should write a short introduction to main DW characters (the world itself and its environments will be explained to A/P/O-W in the story anyway).

 

I usually avoid crossovers but I'm a big Discworld fan and I couldn't resist. Great start, can I be on the PM list?

 

Of course, Ascal! I'm glad you like the beginning.

Oh, and I edited the subject of the first post slightly, so it would (hopefully) attract more Discworld fans... I promise I'll try my best to do the characters justice!

 

Up!

Sorry, no new post yet. I've been very busy this week, since I've started a new job on Tuesday, and I didn't have many chances to get to a computer in my spare time. Hopefully I'll have a new post ready on Sunday.

 

Okay, couldn't resist.

Good stuff so far - I loved Lord Vetinari's line about dropping out of the sky onto one's carriage . . . and the whole thing about Anakin without his shirt on

Keep it up! And if there's a PM list, stick me on it

 

Welcome, JediNemesis! Glad you like the beginning of the story.



Everyone: Sorry for this big delay of the second post! I write it mostly in hand in my scribble pad, but as I rely only on libraries to get on the internet, my time available to spend on computer to type it up and post it is very limited. I hope I'll have the new post ready soon. Please bear with me!

 

Ouff! Sorry the new post is so late! I had problems getting to a computer to type it up. Please give comments, I crave feedback! Criticism is welcome, too, as long as it's constructive and polite.

* * * * *

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the City Watch strolled down the street. A wolf was trotting beside him.

"Thanks for coming with me, by the way," he said to it.

The wolf gave a short bark. It was an unusual wolf ? it had a pale blond coat, long at the neck and looking like a mane. It also had a Watch badge hanging from its collar.

"I know it's your day off," Carrot continued, "and I hate robbing you of your free time, but I really needed your nose back there."

There was another bark that sounded uncannily "don't mention it"-like.

They walked in silence for a while and then Carrot stopped suddenly and sighed. The wolf gave him a questioning look.

"This was our old Watch House," said Carrot, pointing at a dishevelled building. It was dirty with soot, with no windows and a door that consisted of several wooden planks barring the entrance.

Carrot gave another nostalgic sigh. "It was burned out by a dragon, you know," he said. "Way back when I started here. There was only the four of us, Mister Vimes and Sergeant Colon and Nobby and myself. Seems like ages ago now . . ."

He gave the house a last sad look and moved on.

"Anyway, Mister Vimes will be pleased," he said after a while. "That was the third smugglers' hideout discovered and?"

He stopped. From a nearby alley came a shout, then a sound of struggle and an ungh. Carrot broke into run, hand moving automatically towards the hilt of his sword, but the wolf jumped up and caught his sleeve in its mouth, pulling him back.

"What?" he hissed.

He peered around the corner and saw why.

It probably started as a classical scene ? three men attacking an unsuspecting pedestrian, they've got the advantage, get him down nice and quiet, then take anything worth taking from him and disappear faster than it takes to yell, "Help! I'm being attacked!"

Except that this was far from being a typical robbery.

One of the thugs was already lying unconscious a few feet away. The other two circled around a tall young man, knives drawn. Carrot's eyes were glued on the scene that took place in front of him.

And then one of the thieves attacked suddenly, bringing his knife down diagonally, aiming at the young man's neck. To Carrot's surprise the lad didn't back away from the blow, but instead took quick step forward, ducking under the attacker's swinging arm and kneed him in the stomach. As the man bent forward, he jabbed an elbow hard into his face, causing the thug to stumble backwards, cursing, blood streaming from his nose.

What happened next made Carrot's jaw drop with astonishment.

The third man had moved around silently, preparing to stab the lad from behind. Fast as a snake, the young man's arm shot out?he didn't even turn or look back! thought Carrot?and grabbed the man's wrist. Then he blurred, and the next moment the attacker was on the ground, staring in horror at the hilt of his own dagger sticking out of his thigh.

The fight seemed to be over, but then the thug with the bleeding nose hurled himself at the young man in a last desperate attempt. Almost lazily, as if he had anticipated it, the young man spun around and grabbed his wrist, twisting it until the knife fell out. His other hand was now gripping the man's throat.

Carrot decided that this was the right time for the Law to enter the scene.

"That would be enough, lad," he said, stepping into the alley.

The young man dropped his attacker and turned around, settling automatically into a defensive stance.

Carrot held out a hand. "It's all right, I'm a Watchman."

The lad relaxed. "These thieves attacked me," he said.

"I see," said Carrot, crouching next to the unconscious one, and searching through his pockets.

"Well, well," he said softly, "and no licenses either. Dear me."

He stood up and looked at the scene. Three atta

 

Carrot and Anakin...now that's something that will stay with me for a while!

 

I did get a good laugh at the conversations. Amazing update and I?m so curies about what?s going to happen next. Thanks for the pm.

 

Ooh good an update!

That was great - I love how Vimes got Detritus to come out to see how Anakin reacted.

I am glad that Anakin is going to join the watch - watch out criminals of Ankh-Morpork

Thanks for a great update, you write very well, as I think I said before you have captured Terry Pratchetts style.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

BTW thanks for the PM

 

Great update, good job capturing Pratchett's writing style. Hope the wizards are going to make an appearance.

 

Ish:

Star_Angel: Thanks! I'm glad I made you laugh.

Diamond_Revelation: you write very well, as I think I said before you have captured Terry Pratchetts style. - Whoa, now that's a compliment! Thank you. I'm doing my best, but Pterry is a master and I'm but a lowly amateur and I can't possibly compare to you. But I'm glad to see people find it good enough to make the comparison.

Ascal_Elessar: The balance of probability is that the wizards will make an appearance or two.


I'm so happy that people like this story! I hope to post again this weekend, but unfortunately I can't promise anything. I will send out PMs, though.

 

Up!

Sorry again for the delay, but I had to work overtime today and by the time I finished, my library had already closed, so I couldn't type the new post. Good news is, though, that I had a rather big spur of inspiration last night and I wrote quite a bit in my scribble pad, so MAYBE there will be two posts this week! Stay tuned.

 

This has to be the first time I've ever seen a Discworld/SW cross. Is there a PM list? Can I get on it? This is a great story so far!

... Where is Obi-Wan anyway?

 

Oooh, a new reader! Welcome, Exxaciel! Sure I can add you to the PM list.

Ah! A fair question. Will be answered soon.

 

And thanks to my dearest beta Ish, here's (unexpectedly ) a new post! A bit short, but better then nothing, eh?

* * * * *

Let us now move couple of days backwards and several millions of light years away from Discworld, to a planet called Coruscant, the capital of the Galactic Republic.

The Galactic Senate was facing a huge debate and subsequent vote on what was probably the biggest and most important issue in the past few centuries ? the Republic Military Act. Tension was building up noticeably day by day and emotions in the Senate were running high. Even the Jedi Council was being more serious and attentive about the situation in the Senate; suddenly they seemed much more interested in the high politics than usual.

And as the atmosphere on Coruscant was getting denser (and not just with the planet's usual fumes and smog), it was becoming clear that the safety of the debate's most prominent and outspoken participants was at considerable risk.

So when news spread of the first assassination attempt at Senator Amidala of Naboo, one of the strongest opponents of the Act, hardly anyone was surprised. Of course, there were many declamations of shock and condemnation of the attack, but an unspoken thought seemed to run among Coruscan'ts higher circles: "I don't wish her ill, of course, but . . . she had it coming, didn't she?"

The Jedi Council promptly decided (after the not-too-subtle hinting by Chancellor Palpatine) that assigning Jedi Knights as additional protection to the Naboo Senator would be the best solution of the strained situation. And, given their common history and mutual friendship with the Senator, it was obvious that the assigned Jedi would be Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.

"I do not agree with this!" said Padmé Naberrie Amidala.

The two Jedi had arrived to her apartment earlier that day and now, after a rather formal first meeting, when she had sent Captain Typho and her handmaidens away, Senator Amidala relaxed to be Padmé again.

"It's for your own good, Milady," said Obi-Wan patiently. He still preferred to address her with her formal title, even though she had asked him to call her Padmé in private.

"The assassination attempt was unsuccessful, and it is very likely that the attacker will try again."

"What about the other opposing Senators?" asked Padmé, still pacing up and down. "I'm not the only one who is speaking against the Military Act. Will the others get Jedi protection as well?"

The two Jedi exchanged glances.

"I'm not aware of such motion," admitted Obi-Wan.

"Then why am I being singled out?" demanded Padmé. "Or is the Jedi Council waiting for other assassination attempts to happen before they act?"

"It's not like that, Padmé," said Anakin. "We think it might be also because of your . . . ties to the Chancellor."

She stopped and blinked. "What, just because he's from Naboo as well as I? That's absurd! The office of the Chancellor is strictly impartial, even in regards to his or her home planet."

"We know that," said Obi-Wan sourly. "But some of the more radical groups don't. Or, to be more precise, they don't care."

Padmé stood silent for a moment, then said, "Ah."

She walked back to the sofa and sat down opposite the two Jedi, clasping her hands in her lap.

"You know I think Count Dooku is behind this," she said.

"There's no proof of that," said Obi-Wan. "The Council thinks?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that story about the disgruntled miners," she interrupted him, with more frankness than what was usually associated with politicians.

"It might've been other groups behind the attack," said Anakin. "There are certainly many people other than Dooku who wouldn't mind seeing the opposition against the Act weakened."

"It's possible, yes," agreed Obi-Wan. "Nevertheless, our primary duty here is to secure the protection of Senator Amidala, not to launch an investigation of the attack."

"Well, I want to know who's trying to kill me," said Padmé firmly.

"Milady, with all due respect, our?" began Obi-W

 

how dramatic, so that's how they ended up on discworld! Well it will be something different for them that's for sure. I wonder what everyone left in the SW universe will think of their disappearance?

Great update, I am looking forward to the next one!!

 

It was great to see how they ended up in Discworld. Amazing update and thanks for the pm.

 

For some odd reason, Death was always my favorite Discworld character. No idea why- I'm not a particuarly morbid person...

 

Aah, so thats how they ended up there. Great chapter, looking forward to more.