Gah. My mom keeps giving me jewelry and I hate it. :(

She gave me this bracelet/ring/earring set as a graduation gift. That kind of depresses me in a bratty way because my dad has been asking me what I'd want for graduation so I've been thinking of different things I could ask for that I want depending on how much money they want to spend- Then mom just bought this so does that mean I'm not getting anything I want? Heh. I know that's a really bratty impulsive thought. But I would be fine if they didn't give me anything at all really. I know I'm very lucky simply because they care to give me gifts and can afford to.

It's just that my mom always buys me jewelry and it depresses me every time because it seems like such a waste of money. And I kinda feel like she should just be giving it to another relative who would really appreciate it, you know? I really don't feel capable of ever valuing the jewelry she gives me because she will give it to me on every occasion she can find . . . And I always just see it as money being burnt basically.


So I'm really tempted to give her back this set when I see her tomorrow. I really hope it's not a bratty thing of me to do. The thing is that it will just end up sitting in my drawer with all this other jewelry she's given me. And if she's spent a fair amount of money on it, she should give it to someone else, I think? Or return it if possible Is that fair to say?

Also, I guess I'm really hoping that maybe she'll finally realize that I simply don't like jewelry that much? So she won't waste any more money on it in the future . . .

Am I being bratty? I don't know what the ideal behavior in this situation is. To try and learn to value jewelry? (That seems so materialistic.) To just accept the gift and let that money go into the jewelry graveyard I've already got going? It seems like giving it back is the smartest move to prevent future frustration. And by giving it back I'm certainly not expecting them to get me something else. I just want them to put money towards useful practical needed things.


I think I might mostly just be venting here. Someone tell me you get where I'm coming from.

 

Re-gift.

 

sell it

 

I get where you're coming from.

I wouldn't give it back. I mean: it's a gift. But just how accessible is her? Would she feel hurt? I know when I last moved I told my mother not to buy me useless stuff and to help me pay for new furniture.

 

Oh dear god Zas is now a stuck up bratty *****!
I hope she doesnt start any cat fights with her attitude.

 

I'm not sure how close the two of you are. Is it possible that she's under the illusion that jewelry is what you'd appreciate the most, because at your age it may have been what she would have appreciated?

 

Oh, I hear you. I practically never wear jewelry... The one thing I see about just giving it back with no real explanation is that it might not achieve the desired effect... she may just think you don't like *that particular piece* of jewelry. You might just have to tell her you don't like or use jewelry that much.

 

I was given some fancy bracelet and necklace once, I gave it to my cousin who is into jewelry. I never got jewelry again.

It is a little bratty, but really I can't stand earings, bracelets, rings, necklaces, and all that kinda stuff.

EDIT:

 

Well, she also gave my sister the same set (She just passed her Master's exam.) So it's not an entirely unique one . . . Generally, it seems like when she buys stuff she stumbles on something she wants to buy then comes up with a situation that would justify it. I don't think she'd be hurt so much as annoyed at me, but I'm not sure. I'm not really sure how much money she's spent on this so that's the trickiest part.

I think that's part of it- but it's not really an age thing. I mean, I think she really likes jewelry and assumes all other females do.

I'm thinking I'll give it back to her and tell her that I rarely wear jewelry and I know I'm never going to end up wearing it so it might be a better gift for one of my cousins or an in-law or something. I've told her already lots of times that I don't really like jewelry, but every time she's given me a gift I've said thank-you and tried to seem grateful so she wouldn't ever feel bad. But now it's starting to feel like we're not in a place to be wasting money like that. And I'm hoping that the point can be driven in if I give it back to her this time? Because it seems like she's started to spend more and more money on these types of gifts and I'm afraid of her spending ridiculous amounts in the future that would be better spent on their health or something.

 

Tell her the truth Zas, she'll get over it. Most of us give gifts that we want people to like.

And I don't see it being bratty that you don't like certain things. You're allowed to have your own taste.

Personally, I'd rather know asap then find out sometime in the future that years went by.

 

I have to say I'm in the 'sell it' camp though you'd have to retain some in order to keep up appearances. Unless of course no one else would buy what she is giving you.

 

I would not give it back. I've been there. They don't learn.

 

I wouldn't give it back either. You can always re-sell it when times are tight (of course I'm assuming it is gold or silver or something like that), just wait a few years. She'll never notice, because you never wear it.

 

I say except it, she loves you and why make such a big deal over something so small.

 

Melt it into gold or silver and reshape it until you do like it.

 

I don't know, I think you should tell her. I don't know what your relationship is like with your mother, but you should be able to tell her without horribly offending her and she'll understand hopefully. If you don't tell her, she won't ever know and you'll just keep getting things you don't like rather than something you did. And sooner or later, if you don't tell her, it might come out by accident in a less than pleasing manner if you get upset about it.

Just be upfront and honest. Honesty counts for a lot.

I should add that in my family gifts were viewed as "representative" of what they wanted to get you. Like if someone bought you a watch or DVD and you ended up already having it, or wanting a different one, there was no pressure to keep it just because a family member bought it for you.

They're buying the gift to make you happy. If it's not making you happy when she gives it, it defeats the purpose for her getting it.

 

I don't get the concept of Jewellery either...
Not in the 'Bling' aspect of it anyway.

I can understand if it means something, like a ring at a Britney Spears wedding. But growing up in a lower middle-class household, has firmly intrenched the belief that money can be spent in far better ways... Like on mountain-bikes and automobiles!

 

My mother plays a very, very long game usually. For my 25th birthday she gave me a silk tuxedo scarf. My reaction was as follows:

ME: "Seriously? You've MET me, right? You realize I'm your son? The one who hates new clothes and rarely dresses up except for actual events? What in hell am I going to do with this?"
HER: "Trust me, you're going to want one someday."

Flash-forward to December 2007. I go with them to a younger-persons' event at their gourmet society which was black tie. While I'm getting dressed I realize it's Winter in NYC and I will need to be in a tuxedo, so I call my mother.

ME: "Did you invite me to this thing as some sort of culmination to your subtle plan to get me to finally take that tuxedo scarf out of its box and wear it?"
HER: "This would seem to be the perfect opportunity for why you'd need one, wouldn't it?"

Yep, six and a half years later she played me. Le sigh...

But Zas, I'm of the opinion you just let your mother know that you're not huge on jewelry and see if she's buying it because she thinks you are or WANTS YOU TO BE.

 

My mom gave me a cheap watch for a graduation gift. WHO STILL WEARS WATCHES?!!!!!

 

Open up a pawn shop. That can be your new career.

 

My mom learned the hard way to just give me money or food or beer.

 

Women, homosexuals, and straight males older than 45.

 

Well.