Granola bars hurt my teeth

But they're so tasty! Why do you mock me Granola bars?

 

One time I thought a granola bar was communicating with me via telepathy but as it turned out I had just left the TV on.

 

Toasted sandwiches hurt the roof of my mouth pretty bad. When I mention it to everyone in my family and ask if it happens to them, they look at me like I'm crazy and say toasted sandwiches are fine for them.

am i the only one this happens to???

 

I hope you're being serious, cuz this happens to me too.

 

I always burn the roof of my mouth with pizza.

 

Skittles hurt my teeth. My teeth start to hurt just thinking about them....


Mace Windy,
taste the rainbow!

 

When I try to eat glass, shards always cut me, I just don't get it.

 

Whenever I sink my teeth into the soft belly of some random fat guy, he bellows and tries to shake me off, and usually my neck is sore the next day.

 

There must be some easier way to make money.

 

I have a bad reaction to those chocolate laxative candies.

 

I used to love StarBurst candy until one pulled out a loose tooth when I was a kid and then my mouth filled with blood. I had to fish my tooth out of the gooey, bloody wad of cherry StarBurst. It sort of killed my taste for them after that.