Saga Han/Leia Fanfic Challenge - March 2005

Okay, jumping the gun by a couple of days but I may not be able to start this exactly on March 1.

For this month, the challenge is:

As usual, during an undercover mission, Han has offended someone high up with his smart-aleck mouth and is now sentenced to death. Write a vignette where Leia has to rescue him

Although this thread is set in Saga, you are by no means limited to this time era.

When you have completed the vignette, please post it in this thread.

This challenge will run until the end of March.

Good luck, and MTFBWY!

 

Just upping this so people can see...

 

Ok! I see it!

This sounds like it could turn into a rather lengthy story.

 

Yeah, but i want to do it. Great idea...

 

Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse


Han couldn't believe it had been only two days since he'd been arrested, tried, convicted and sentenced to die by drowning. What kind of people tied you buck naked to a durasteel post and watched as the tide came in, anyway? All because he'd asked some girl for a kiss! Sure, he'd only just met her a few seconds before, but he was joking, for kreth's sake! And he certainly didn't know the girl was the Potentate's daughter. Well, ok... maybe he did know that part, but it was the Potentate's fault he'd been drinking too much. These people were in dire need of a sense of humor.

The Corellian's thoughts drifted back to two days ago... a lifetime it seemed........

*

"Grand Potentate Tallis is a very strict man, Solo. You have to be very careful what you say to him." Leia handed her pilot and guardian a long, handwritten list. "These are all the rules you have to follow. You need to memorize them, like I have. The Selear people are very rigid, and easily offended."

Solo took the carefully prepared list and crumpled it into a wad.

Glaring, Leia snapped out, "What's the matter? Can't you read?"

"I'll just follow your lead, your Worshipfulness. 'Sides, I'm much better at feeling my way around," he replied, leering meaningfully at her.

"That's just what I'm talking about," Leia said, exasperated. "You can't say things like that. We're trying to enlist this system's support, not push them into the lap of the Empire."

"Ah, don't get yourself so worked up. I'll tell them your lap is so much nicer than Palpatine's."

Giving a frustrated snort Leia stormed away, leaving the Corellian chuckling at her overwrought emotions. Leave it to Her Highnessness to exaggerate this planet's beliefs.

A few seconds later, Leia returned, shoving a box at him. "These are the clothes we're expected to wear. And blasters aren't allowed."

"I ain't going anywhere without - "

"Yes, you are," Leia interrupted. "They have laws. No weapons allowed, and we are not going to break their rules."

Han opened the box, pulling out a long, black robe with a solid white stripe running down the front from under the chin to the floor, a pair of white gloves, and black hood with the eye slits lined in white. "What the...?"

"People don't show each other what they look like, Solo. They don't even see the faces of the people they marry until their wedding night."

"You're kidding me."

The Princess let out a frustrated hiss. Solo could be incredibly annoying at times. "No. I'm not."

"How do they decide who they want to marry, if they can't see what the other looks like?"

"Parents arrange their children's marriages when they're a year old. It doesn't matter what they look like," Leia patiently explained. "This information was all on the flimsy you so nicely threw away."

Solo shook his head in dismay as he put on the robe, then pulled the hood over his face. With his voice slightly muffled, he informed the Princess, "I'll bet there are a lot of surprised Selears on their wedding night."

Quickly, Leia pulled her own hood over her head so the Corellian smuggler couldn't see her smile. "I know if it were me, and my parents had arranged for me to marry you, I'd die of fright on my wedding night."

"Nah.... you'd be so overwhelmed by my stunning handsomeness, not to mention my manly attributes, you'd swoon in my arms and beg me to take your innocence."

"You are such an egomanic, Solo." Leia turned and stalked away, glad Solo couldn't see her blush.

Fully covered from head to toe in heavy, loose black and white clothing, Han and Leia exited the Falcon, leaving behind an amused Wookiee, then made their way to the designated meeting place. Every single person they passed was dressed exactly in the same type of black and white robe and white gloves. It was impossible to tell the men from the women, unless you stared at the chest area and waited to see if movement showed any evidence of gender. Even then it was difficult.

 

GreatOne, you truly are great!

I don't know how many times I laughed out loud over this delightful vignette--my family officially thinks I'm insane.

Wonderful! And brava for rising so beautifully to the challenge!

 

Quickly, Leia pulled her own hood over her head so the Corellian smuggler couldn't see her smile. "I know if it were me, and my parents had arranged for me to marry you, I'd die of fright on my wedding night."

"Nah.... you'd be so overwhelmed by my stunning handsomeness, not to mention my manly attributes, you'd swoon in my arms and beg me to take your innocence."


The other about SHRINKAGE as George called it was priceless!!! Love the punishment...and it's um-reward.

 

That was just awesome, GreatOne. I loved the banter between them. And the little joke at the end.

 

You did it again Great One....you answer these challenges so quickly. How in the world do you do it?

Loved the ending...poor Han a chance to show off and the water was cold.

 

You did it again Great One....you answer these challenges so quickly. How in the world do you do it? You know you make it near impossible for others to post don't you. Most of us just can't compete with you....sigh. Great job!!!

Loved the ending...poor Han a chance to show off and the water was cold.

 

Great One that was so hilarious! Oh my gosh. My sides hurt from laughing so much.

 

LadyPadme - my family officially thinks I'm insane. - Oh no! I'm glad you found it funny, though!

starwarsfan68 - The other about SHRINKAGE as George called it was priceless!!! Love the punishment...and it's um-reward. - hehe. That just came to me when I was writing the very ending... Poor Han!

Sara_Kenobi - I loved the banter between them. And the little joke at the end.- All I could think of after I wrote it was Elaine Bettis saying, "It shrinks?!"

owphoenix - You know you make it near impossible for others to post don't you.- Nononono! Everyone else writes much better stories! I LOVE reading what everyone else comes up with! (now.... get busy!)

princess_meg - My sides hurt from laughing so much.- Awww. *gives princess_meg a cyber brownie for the pain!* Thanks for reading!

And thanks to everyone for the nice comments!

 

Wow...that was hilarious! Han is so funny!

 

Laura_Anu - Thank you very much!

And NOW! Where are all the other March challenge ficlet stories??

COME ON!!!! The end of March is approaching...

 

GreatOne:This is so absolutley funny there is nothing I can say to do it justice!!!...All I can do is keep laughing!

 

Thank you Webogirl !!

ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS LEFT IN THIS MONTH!!!! WHERE ARE ALL YOU H/L POSTERS???

I WANT TO READ ANOTHER PERSON'S RESPONSE!!

*begs*

 

I would love to, GreatOne, but I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with my own story. I truly wish you'd let me borrow your speed writing muse! I have some ideas for this one, but I need to finish my other project first. Hopefully, someone else will take up the challenge! We need some good H/L fic around here!

 

Strange Day



Han Solo was not having a good day.


He had heard Alderaan was a planet full of peaceful people with unusually gentle natures.
He had heard wrong.

As he sat rubbing his aching head in his well appointed cell in the royal palace, Han wondered where exactly he had gone wrong.

How was he supposed to know that the smart mouthed little girl in the spaceport was the royal Princess of Alderaan? It wasn?t like he kept tags on these things.

And she had been really annoying.
What with pointing out how rickety his ship looked, and asking all kinds of questions about being a smuggler, and giving him a lecture about Hutts were bad news and he should get out now.

She had even had the audacity to offer him a job if he left the Hutt.

Han, unsure of what to make of this, did what he normally did when someone offered him kindness- He told her to shove it where the even the twin suns of Tatooine don?t shine, and that he didn?t need her kindness, thanks a lot but no thanks your holiness.
And maybe he said something about climbing back into her ivory tower as well.

But by the Emperor?s Black Bones, how was he to know that insulting the Princess was a criminal offense.

Punishable by Death.

At the trial, the little Princess (Kest, Han had marveled, she couldn?t have been more than 13 ) had spoken in his defense, claiming to say things even more irritating than she had, and had begged them not to kill him.

They had refused, and he was set for execution in an hour.

He had to say this for Alderaanians- they worked fast.

If he had known this was going to be his last day in the galaxy, he would have done considerably more fun things than argue with a pre-teen princess.

He wondered what happened to Chewie, and was glad at least he had gotten out.

Han was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the door sliding open.
He checked his chrono- still 45 minutes til his execution time.

The small princess slid in, holding his gun rig.
?You?ll need this.? She said primly as she tossed it to him.
?What??
She rolled her eyes. ?This is a rescue, flyboy. Power up your blaster, but set for stun. I may not want to see you dead, but kill one of my people, and I will kill you myself.?

Han nodded as he stepped into the rig and quickly buckled it.
?Where?s Chewie??
She raised a brow. ?Your partner? I sent him a message to wait a hyper jump away. He had to leave the system in order to live.? She said, answering the unasked question in his eyes.

?SOO?.How do I get to him??

She turned and faced him with wide eyes. ? You steal a ship! Really, Captain, for a smuggler you have a remarkably undevious mind.? She ducked back into the hall.
?Hurry, we haven?t much time. I stunned the guards, but?.?

Han was out before she could finish the sentence. ?Well, thanks Your Worship, but I gotta run?? She grabbed his arm. ?Oh no you don?t. Just because I let you out doesn?t
mean I trust you. I go with you until you are on the ship?..?

Han set off at a run, the Princess at his heels. ?Spaceport is close, I thought it was poor planning to place it near the palace?s holding cells, but no one listens to me?WAIT!? she hissed. ? Put this on? She handed him a Alderaanian Royal Guard uniform.

Han regarded her skeptically. ?Why?? She stomped her foot. ?Everyone in the palace knows you and if they see us together they will think you are trying to kidnap me! No one will look twice at me with a guard. GET DRESSED!?
Han quickly obliged, and strolled through the garden with the Princess.

With the spaceport in sight, Han decided to risk speaking to her again. ?Hey, your Worship, why is insulting you punishable by death? You seem to have a pretty healthy sense of humor.? She shrugged. ?I don?t know?..It?s a law that?s always been in place. I?ve tried to have it revoked. I just don?t think it?s right to kill someone for making fun of me.? She grabbed his arm again, something Han found strangely disconcerting. ?The ship is there, it has a full tank. All you need to do is ab

 

Okay, I suck, I missed the whole undercover mission part.......

I can't read, I just write, folks.

I apologize........

Maybe he's undercover for Jabba?
(We'll just say that)

 

Okay, on a whim and short notice, I felt like giving this one a try. Not my best work, but it was fun anyway!



Same as Always


Her comm buzzed. ?Leia Organa Solo here.?

?Its Wedge, Leia. Seems we?ve got something of a situation. I need your help.? Rolling her eyes, Leia responded. ?Does it have to be me, Wedge? I?m waiting for Han ? he promised to be back today.?

There was a definite pause. ?Leia, first of all, Han?s okay. Second, this is about him.?

The Alliance needed its most experienced leaders to oversee the transition to peace. There were thousands of details to clean up. Wedge still had an office on the Mon Mothma, although he had officially retired when the Vong war ended a month before. It was in moments like these that he wished he was helping Iella establish their new home on Corellia.

Tycho knocked softly before keying the office door open. Leia hurried passed him and said simply, ?Tell me.?

?His mission to find the Peace Brigade?s supply source in the Outer Rim actually went well. Han traced the parts we gave him back to the planet Latem. The head of Latem-Alpha Corporation has been detained.? Wedge hated this next part. ?Han was about to leave when a delegation from Latem?s government delayed him at the spaceport.?

?And??

?Wedge??

?Essentially,? Wedge sighed heavily. ?Han got exasperated with all the ceremony, and, well, Threepio tried to help, Han started yelling, and now he?s in the brig? ?

Wedge paused to clear his throat. And I thought our problems were over when the war ended. ?It seems that on Latem, the way Han insulted the Administrator earned him a death sentence. Threepio has tried to speak on Han?s behalf. That didn?t, ah, go very well.?

Oh, really? Now, that must have been interesting.

Leia?s mind was replaying every Corellian oath she could remember, and there were a lot of them. She covered her eyes with her right hand. I don?t believe this. ?What do we do??

Wedge continued, ?He?s requesting your help to clear this up.?

?Han? Can I speak with him??

Struggling now to convince himself of just how serious this situation could become, Wedge managed, ?No, Leia. Threepio called to ask that you come.?

~ * ~

Ushered into the private office of the Administrator, Leia sat on a bench that could only be described as cold, hard and functional. Sums up this whole office. I doubt the species that runs this planet cares much for physical comforts. She?d been told that Threepio was unavailable until later in the day. Searching with the Force, Leia had to admit there seemed nothing wrong here. Han?s bright presence felt strong, and not far away.

She put her best diplomatic face on, ready for negotiations.

The door behind her slid quietly open. The Administrator entered, alone, and made his way to the center of the room.

?You are ?Leia Organa Solo???

Leia drew on all her diplomatic experience to respond. She gathered herself up to full height. ?Administrator. I have heard the charge against Han Solo, my husband. I ask you to understand that there was no intent on his part to in any way insult you or your?people.?

?He publicly called me by a name other than my designation. This is not permitted. There is no logic in your argument and I therefore disallow it.?

?Excellency, I ??

?Stop. Han Solo erred. His punishment is quite clear under our law. You may leave now.?

Leia persisted. ?Will you punish one who did not know your law? Someone who is human, and weak? Is it not logical to expect understanding of the law before punishment??

The Administrator was silent. Thoughtful? Leia wondered. She did not press him further.

?You tell me that Han Solo is weak. Is he considered defective by your standards??

Leia hesitated only a millisecond.

?Yes, Administrator, many believe him to be ? defective.? Sorry, Han. But if I get you out of this, I?d like to see you try and disagree with me.

?C-3PO did not provide me with this info

 

Those were both so hilarious! Han as a defective human . . . .and young Leia of heavens those were great!

 

Finally! Solo-Evenstar and Oldjedinurse - I loved both of them... Han.. defective? Poor Han...

And, wow.... Alderaan had the death penalty? And here I thought they were so peaceful.

(It doesn't matter about the 'undercover' part... I really took liberties with that myself, since the only way they were undercover was in their robes!)

 

GreatOne...

Thanks - and I neglected to say that I loved your fic as well.

"That wasn't what I had in mind for a romantic kiss, Sweetheart," he managed to gasp.
"It wasn't too thrilling for me either, flyboy," Leia commented dryly, wiping her lips.


Your characterizations were perfect!


And Solo-Evenstar...

?You steal a ship! Really, Captain, for a smuggler you have a remarkably undevious mind.?


I agree with GreatOne, don't worry about the undercover mission thing .. you wrote a great viggie. Love your sense of humor!


Sorry for not commenting earlier.

ojn **still laughing**

 

Upping one more time ...

Only 3 days left with this very fun challenge!

I know lots of you could imagine wonderful stories for this!

 

Wow! Those were all great! I liked them all, and they were interesting because they were set in various parts of Han and Leia's relationship. Great job, you three!