Story [Harry Potter] I'm in Love with a Witch -- Dudley Dursley, HP, HG, RW, GW, Dursley's (one-shot)

A/N: Wrote this story quite a few years ago, remember it was out there somewhere and thanks to the great Google, it was the first thing that came up in my search. Thought I'd post it and share it on here. If anyone was ever a reader over at HarryPotterfanfiction.com they might have seen this one shot.


Harry Potter had a quill in his hand as he worked behind his spacious desk which was cluttered with more debris than seemed to be physically possible; letters from admirers and yet others who wanted to give him suggestions on how he should be heading up the Auror Department. There were also reports from almost every other department in the ministry, including several from the wizards who worked directly under him.

He rubbed his forehead to stop the aching pain coursing through it. It was not the scar which hurt; that had not hurt in the nine years since he had defeated Tom Riddle. What was ailing Harry was just a plain old, ordinary headache.

It felt as if he had been writing all day long and he was ready to get home and see his wife, Ginny. Ron had asked him to go to a local wizard-pub and grab a butter beer or maybe even a fire whiskey, a question to which Harry had tried to avoid.

Harry had avoided the question because he had seen very little of Ginny over the last few months. Ginny had just finished her final season as a professional quidditch player and was ready to retire. Also it didn’t help that Harry had a very demanding job and even when Ginny was home, he often times, was not.

Harry could see Ron through the thick pane of glass which was his window. He had his feet up on his own desk and was playing with a snitch, much the same way he had seen his father James play with a snitch inside one of Severus Snape’s memories. He thought maybe he could just tell Ron the truth, that he wanted to see Ginny but as she was Ron’s little sister, he was sure to make up some cock-and-bull story which would assure Harry that he knew her and that she wouldn’t mind if they went out for a drink.

Perhaps he could bring up Hermione and say that he knew her very well and that he knew matter-of-factly that she would care if Ron came home after a hard days work, smelling like fire whiskey.

There was a knock at the door and Ron flicked his wand aimlessly without saying a word and it came open. He let go of the snitch and caught it again, not paying attention to who had just walked in.

“Working hard, Ron?” Percy Weasley scoffed as he entered the room.

Ron yawned, his face growing to the size of a lion’s but he did not answer. Percy only shook his head and walked by Ron and into Harry’s office, as the door was open.

“Harry, I have a report from Minister Shacklebolt.” Percy said, announcing his arrival to Harry who didn’t seem to have noticed he was so busy already replying to a letter from Shacklebolt.

“Are you kidding me?” Harry sighed as he dropped his quill and fell feebly back into his cushioned chair.

Harry crossed his arms and would have been staring at Percy if his eyes would have been open. Finally he mustered all the energy he had left and looked at Percy.

“I’m pulling an all nighter,” Percy advised.

“What else is new?” Ron’s voice came from the other room.

“By the looks of things at your desk, not much,” Percy shot back.

Percy and Ron got along much better these days but they still had a go at each other on nearly a daily basis.

“Well, I’m writing to the Minister right now, I’ll take a look at this report and then add it into my reply.” Harry said.

“Sounds good, Potter,” Percy said, giving him a smile and turning on his heel to leave.

As Percy opened the door to leave the office, he exchanged words with yet another person who was trying to enter.

“George!” Ron exclaimed.

Ron and Percy’s brother George walked in the office, the hole on the side of his head no longer there.

“Oh, Mum told me you had figured out a way.” Ron said pointing to his ear which wasn’t quit the same shade of the rest of his skin.

“Extendable Ear replacement, little bro!” George exclaimed. “If you thought Mad-Eye’s magical eye was something, you should see, or should I say, hear, what this thing can do.”

Harry had left his desk to join Ron and George, a big smile plastered on his face. George and Harry exchanged a jovial handshake and a quick slap on the back.

“How are you doing?” Harry asked, stealing a peak at George’s new magical ear.

“Excellent! I can see you two are working hard as usual.” George ribbed.

“What brings you down here, anyway?” Ron interrupted.

“Can’t a brother come to visit another brother?”

Ron’s ears turned a violent shade of red, “Course!”

“Plus I was here to see a select few people about my new line of defensive clothing and robes! Then I heard this bloke,” George broke off, turning around.

Harry and Ron looked at each other, not knowing who he was talking about.

“Where did he go?” George asked more to himself than Harry or Ron.

George squinted; it was obvious he was using his extendable ear attachment to hear through the walls. He shook his head knowingly after a moment. He opened the door and looked down the hall and waved down someone else to join them.

“Dudley?” Harry asked.

“I overheard him from about two-hundred meters away saying he couldn’t remember how to get down to the Auror office. He said he wanted to talk to his cousin.” George explained.

“Dudley, you’ve been down here at least fifty times.” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah, this place is really confusing though.” Dudley responded, not as stupidly as he had done as a fifteen year old.

“Give him a break, Harry.” George piped up. “He is a muggle after all.”

Dudley Dursley had worked at the Ministry of Magic for the last six months. Although he was a muggle, he had known about the magical world for many years and a new position had opened up. It was actually Harry’s suggestion when he first started at the Ministry. They had always had people who worked with muggles and taught others how to relate with them. It only seemed obvious to have an actual muggle to be in a similar position to help relations with muggles when they were in the need-to-know about the magical world.

However it did come as a surprise to Harry, when Dudley had been offered and taken the job. After what Harry thought would be their last meeting at number 4 Pivet Drive over nine years ago, Dudley had become very accepting of wizards and witches; in fact, he was very interested in learning as much as he could about them.

It was Hermione who had extended the offer to Dudley to teach him everything she knew about the history of magic. As she did receive an Outstanding on her O.W.L.’s in her fifth year at Hogwarts in the subject, she was a natural at the subject. Hermione bragged on Dudley to Harry and Ron quite often as they would enter the Ministry building everyday to attend to their jobs. Ron gave jealous looks whenever Hermione spoke highly of another male but Harry could only laugh at the thought of Hermione and Dudley having a relationship. He seriously doubted that Ron had anything to worry about.

“Harry,” Dudley said. “I need your help.”

“Sure, Big D, what is it?” Harry said earnestly.

“It’s Mum and Dad,” He replied.

Harry could feel his insides clench up. While he was friends with Dudley now, even having the occasional dinner with each other, he still had no love loss for his parents.

“I think it’s time I came out to them,” Dudley stated, holding his head down.

Ron looked at Dudley bewildered, “Dudley, I didn’t know you were…”

“He doesn’t mean that,” Harry said, rolling his eyes and jabbing Ron with an elbow. “He needs to tell them that he works with witches and wizards. I think he’s right too. I think it’s about time you tell them, Dudley. They love you and anything you do, that will never change. You are the one constant in their lives; nothing you do will change their opinion of you.”

Dudley shrugged, “It’s not just that though. There is something else.”

Ron smirked, “Told ya.”

Harry glared at Ron for a scathing second then looked at Dudley again.

“I’m getting married…” Dudley whispered.

“Married? Dudley! Whoa! I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.” Harry exclaimed.

George gave Dudley a hearty slap on the back.

“Please tell me it’s not Percy,” Ron said seriously, thinking of Mrs. Weasley’s reaction.

“Ron!” Harry exclaimed as if he were taking Hermione’s role since she was absent.

“Eloise Midgen,” Dudley retorted.

Ron gave Harry a look that could only be described as pure shock. It was apparent that Ron thought that Dudley probably didn’t have his pickings of any woman he wanted, but the last image he had of Eloise Midgen made him question Dudley’s taste.

“Hey, at least he isn’t going to steal Hermione away from you now,” Harry teased at Ron.

Ron curled his lip and George and Dudley looked on bewildered.

“Nothing,” Harry laughed. “Inside joke; anyway, that’s great Dudley. Does she work here at the ministry?”

Dudley nodded, “The Department of Muggle-Use Artifacts.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Ron said aloud, but to himself.

“We went to school with her,” Harry added.

“Yeah, I think I remember her.” George chimed in.

“I try not to,” Ron said, before receiving another swift elbow to the ribs.

“Well that’s great news, Dudley. I’m about to head home to see Ginny, they just won the league, I’m sure she is going to want to celebrate.” Harry said, trying to end the conversation.

Ron looked at Harry, scandalized, “Not cool.”

“Uh, Harry.” Dudley said before Harry and Ron could leave. “I was wondering if you could come to dinner with me and Eloise. I’m taking her tonight to meet Mum and Dad and I think if you were there, they might not take it so badly when they find out she is a witch.”

Harry was startled by this. He had not been back to number 4 Pivet Drive since the last time he could call it home.

“Uh,” Harry stammered, not able to think of a better excuse than wanting to see Ginny.

“Ginny can come along, actually it would probably be better that way. Ron and Hermione too, the more distractions the better I think.”

“Oh, I’ve got to see this!” Ron said, rubbing his hands together.

Harry was out of excuses; his cousin was in a desperate state and he was asking for his help. Harry had never turned down a friend in need and his conscience wasn’t going to allow him to do it this time.

“Sure, Dudley, we’ll be there.” Harry said, defeated.

“Great!” Dudley said in a booming and excited voice. “Eight o’clock sharp then, meet you there.”



Harry, Ron, and George left Dudley behind and headed towards the elevator.

“I can’t believe it,” Harry laughed. “Dudley getting married to a witch.”

“Yeah, I figured I’d grow a third snitch before something like that would happen.” Ron said crudely.

All three of them crowded into the elevator. It was empty except for a rather young witch with lively brown hair, an exquisite complexion, and a body that apparently George would die for.

Ron and Harry gave each other winks as it was obvious George was going to make a move on the young witch.

“This is real dragon, ya know.” George said, pulling on his jacket, “I slew it myself.”

The witch looked at him, a look of bemusement coming over her face, “It’s nice.”

“George Weasley,” he said. “Of Weasley’s Wizard Weezes.”

“Oh,” she replied, none too impressed.

“Are you going to be off anytime soon,” George asked. “Maybe I could treat you to a butter beer?”

She smiled politely but shook her head, “Sorry, I’m seeing someone.”

The cool voice of the elevator rang, “Second floor.”

“This is me,” she said, getting off the elevator.

As the doors closed leaving only the trio, Ron and Harry roared with laughter.

“Burn!” Harry said.

“Shot down!” Ron threw in.

George didn’t talk to them again before they were out of the building and he disapperated without saying goodbye.

“See ya at eight, I s’pose,” Ron said.

With that they both rounded the corner so that no muggles could see and they both disapperated as well.

It had taken a little convincing, but Ginny had agreed to come with Harry to help out Dudley. He had to tell her that Ron and Hermione would both be there and she agreed, as she hadn’t seen either of them in ages.

They apperated in a small field a few minutes before eight o’clock and began the short trot down to the neighborhoods of Little Whinging and then to Pivet Drive. They met Ron and Hermione half way there and Ginny and Hermione chatted until they come upon it. Number 4…

“I wish I would have let Hedwig just fly to the Burrow that night.” Harry said to no one in particular.

Ginny rubbed his shoulders, “They would have recognized her and did it anyway, out of spite. We’ve talked about it before.”

“Yeah, come on mate, don’t get down. Hedwig is with your mum, dad, and Sirius. Never has to be put up in a stinking cage.” Ron added.

“This night is about Dudley, we need to focus. This could be really miserable if his parents are anything like they used to be.” Hermione said.

“Yeah, I know I’m just saying.” Harry shrugged but smiling now.

“There’s the silver lining,” Ginny returned his smile and held his hand as they walked to the driveway of number 4.

As they did, a car came pulling in and they moved out of the way. Dudley was behind the wheel and apparently Eloise was sitting next to him.

Dudley got out first, almost tripping over himself. Hermione caught him in the nick of time. He was wearing a fabulous muggle suit with a blue-striped tie.

“Thanks, Mione.” Dudley breathed hard. “Saved my clothes.”

“We could have cleaned them if you would have got grass stains,” Eloise said from the other side of the car.

Harry and Ron gawked at the young witch who was wearing exquisite dress robes of crimson red. It was the same woman that George had hit on just hours before in the elevator.

“Hey guys, do you remember me?” Eloise said, coming up to the two couples and standing by Dudley.

“Eloise?” Hermione gasped. “You look fantastic! I’ve seen you all the time in the Ministry but I never knew it was you.”

“Yeah,” Ron said, on the verge of drooling. “What happened? Did you take a badly brewed poly-juice potion of a veela?”

“Ron!” Hermione said sternly.

“It’s okay,” Eloise laughed. “I get it all the time. No, no magic and no muggle surgery either; just a little exercise and things. Well, I will admit I used some potions to clear up the acne but it has been gone for ages.”

“Well, you look great.” Hermione said sincerely.

“We better get inside!” Dudley exclaimed. “Mum and Dad will be expecting us.”

“Expecting all of us? Or just you two, Big D?” Harry asked.

Dudley’s eyes widened, “I meant to tell them, oh no!”

“Well it’s too late now,” Ginny said. “Let’s just do it.”

Dudley led Eloise by the hand to the front door and rang the door bell. The other two couples stood back a few meters so they might not be noticed right away.

“Diddy Dudeee kins!” Petunia squealed.

“Dudley!” Vernon’s voice boomed as he patted his son on the back.

“This must be the luckiest lady in the world!” Petunia said, now hugging Eloise. “You sure know how to pick them.”

“Mum, Dad…” Dudley said slowly. “This is Eloise, my fiancée.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Vernon heartily laughed.

Vernon’s face was quite a bit older looking than Harry remembered it but as soon as they made eye contact with each other, those wide, pig-like eyes were the same as he recalled.

“You!” Vernon exclaimed as if Harry was someone who had mugged his entire family in an alleyway.

Petunia didn’t say a word as she ushered Dudley and Eloise inside to the kitchen.

“Your son asked me for moral support,” Harry explained before Vernon could ask.

“Wha… Then who are these people?” Vernon asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

“This is Ron and Hermione; I think you might remember me talking about them when I used to live with you.” Harry introduced them.

Vernon’s eyes shifted to Ginny, “And her?”

Harry wrapped his arm around Ginny in a very protective manner as to tell Vernon. ‘don’t you dare give her a hard time.’

“This is my wife, Ginny. She also happens to be Ron’s sister.” Harry explained.

“Well…” Vernon paused. “Come in.”

Vernon did not usher them in the way Petunia had done with Dudley and Eloise. Instead Vernon had simply walked to the kitchen, leaving the door open for them to walk through. Harry was the last one to enter and he closed the door.

Ron and Hermione walked into the kitchen but Ginny had stopped in front of the cupboard door that was a part of the staircase.

“You used to sleep in there?” Ginny asked, sympathetically.

Harry nodded, matter-of-factly.

“If we had more time, I might give you a happy memory to remember it by.” Ginny stuck out her tongue slightly as her eyes widened.

“Ginny!” Harry laughed. “I thought tonight was about Dudley.”

“Can’t you tell I’m just kidding, Potter? I thought you knew me better.”

“We barely see each other anymore, sometimes it feels like we are just meeting all over again.” Harry admitted.

“I’ll change that,” Ginny smirked. “After we help Dudley.”

Harry and Ginny came through the swinging kitchen door and nearly knocked Petunia down who was carrying extra plates to the table.

“Sorry, Aunt Petunia,” Harry yelled.

Petunia calmed herself and forced a little smile, “No problem, Harry.”

She set out the extra places on the table yet it was obvious that the table was too small for even more than Dudley and Vernon to sit down at, let alone six other people.

“Do you mind?” Hermione asked, looking at Vernon and Petunia. “I will change it before we leave.”

Hermione pulled out her wand and Petunia squealed, while Vernon acted as if he were ducking for cover.

“Engorgio!” Hermione said with a flick of her wand.

The table swelled to a more appropriate size; the expertise of Hermione’s wand work was so skillful that even with the enlargement charm, each person still had a plate in front of them.

Vernon recovered a few seconds before Petunia was able to.

“Enlargement charm,” Hermione said, seating herself again.

“She’s great like that,” Ron told the older couple.

Vernon’s eyes widened and he gave a little nod to say he understood while Petunia was now bringing over platters of food.

“Wow,” Ron exclaimed. “You muggles eat the same things we do.”

“Yeah, magic folk and muggles have more in common than you would think,” Harry said, trying to ease the tension as best he could.

“It’s true,” Eloise said, now standing and helping Petunia with the food.

“No, silly girl,” Petunia mockingly admonished her. “You are dressed much too nicely to be handling the food, please sit.”

Eloise did and continued what she had begun to say, “You would think that they have nothing in common. On the surface, sometimes it’s hard to see but in the end, we are all the same.”

“How do you mean,” Ron asked, interestedly.

“Well, like you said, we all eat the same types of food. That has to do with culture and the country you’re from more than whether you’re a muggle or not. There are a lot of examples really.” Eloise continued on, telling them many details she had learned over the years, yet steering clear of the fact that she was a witch herself and that she worked at the Ministry of Magic.

As the last of the food was placed on the table, everyone dug in. Dudley only put a small portion of a few things on his plate and he seemed to only be playing with his food. Hermione shared a worried look with Harry; they knew he was nervous beyond belief.

“So, Son!” Vernon roared, “Tell us about your job.”

“Uh,” Dudley stammered.

This was it, Harry knew. Dudley would have to tell one of the two secrets right now. Everyone was almost finished with dinner, except for Ron who was helping himself to thirds. The news would have to be broken.

“That’s something else I wanted to tell you tonight,” Dudley said, almost at a whisper.

Petunia had begun to clear things from the table and was bringing over a large cake for desert when Dudley spilled it.

“Mum… Dad… I work at the Ministry of Magic.” Dudley confessed.

Pentunia dropped the platter holding the cake all over the spotless kitchen floor.

“Don’t worry, I got it!” Eloise said.

She drew her wand and Petunia looked as though she were having a stroke that would end her life. Vernon’s last piece of pork chop fell from his lips, half chewed as they watched Dudley’s fiancée pull the wand from her dress.

“Repairo!” Eloise said clearly, fixing the plate. With another flick of her wand she said, “Scurgefy!”

Eloise only then noticed the looks of shock on Vernon and Petunia’s face.

“Dudley, did you… Dudddd.” Petunia stumbled over her words.

Dudley stood up next to Eloise, “Yes, I’m in love with a witch!”

Petunia looked at her husband for any words of comfort but he was speechless.

“I dink ids graaate mysulf,” Ron said with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

“Dudley has a great job and gets paid well,” Harry stood up, defending his cousin. “While he was making his living, he fell in love with a great girl, who loves muggles. I think you two should be happy.”

“Love is love,” Hermione added. “Wizards and witches love the same way muggles love. It’s another thing we have in common. You can’t put a prejudice on that.”

Vernon was still baffled; he didn’t know what to say. Petunia’s eyes started to leak tears. Harry was sure she was disappointed but she ran up to Dudley and hugged him. Before Harry could comprehend what he was seeing, Petunia had grabbed Eloise into the same grappling hug.

“It doesn’t matter,” Petunia whaled. “My Diddy is in love! Vernon, our son is in love!”

Vernon finally seemed to get his wits about him and he stood, encasing the other three people in a hug of his own.

Harry looked over to Ron and Hermione. Ron was still stuffing his face, only allowing himself glimpses of the scene in front of him. Hermione was holding her hands over her heart and a single tear was trickling down. His attention then shifted towards Ginny who had a broad smile on his face.

“Well you did it again,” Ginny said, a slight tease in her voice.

“Did what?” Harry asked, amused.

“Saved the day, of course,” Ginny winked.

“With the help of all of you, as usual,” Harry pointed out. “I got to admit though.”

“Admit what?” Ron asked.

“If you would have asked me ten years ago, what would be harder; killing off Riddle or getting my aunt and uncle to accept the fact that their precious son was going to marry a witch… I would have taken a duel with Riddle any day.”

The four of them laughed heartily as they watched the Dursley’s celebrating with the newest member of their family.

The End…