HI! I'm Wilford Brimley and I want to talk to you about something very serious.

Sometimes, I don't feel fresh.

 

Beetis dance remix!

 

Do you douche?

 

[image=http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m144/dacmon/TV%20PICS/WalterBrennan.jpg]

Hi, I'm Walter Brennan, and Wilford and me have it going on, all night long.
Know what I mean? Talk about love in the dust... it's more like thud in the rust!

Eh, heh, heh... Eh, heh, heh... I think something just fell off...

 

[image=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/prozak/wilford_brimley_want.jpg]

 

Mom, do you sometimes feel...not so fresh?

 

[image=http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q45/rlj_07/d629d214.jpg]
He also wants you to know this thing's not dead yet.

 

Oh man, that is wild! I am still laughing... oh, man...


WILFORD: Mark my words, Ye frail, elderly swine. Buy you medical supplies from me
or I shall have your souls. DO YOU HEAR ME? I shall come for your vile, unholy
sooooouuuullssssss.... Blahh ha ha!

 

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have Diabeetus...

 

Not fresh where?

 

[image=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b7/Noa_swenc.jpg]
I want to talk to you about living on Endor

 

"Yep, those deep fried teddy bears were murder on my diabetus."

 

"Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee, and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe, and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago, I ran out of Vanilla ice cream, and struck my wife. Then I find out, my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?"

 

[image=http://img.snlarc.jt.org/caps/impressions/John%20Goodman-Wilford%20Brimley.jpg]

Hi. I'm Wilford Brimley, and I've had diabetes for about 20 years. I stay active and I feel pretty good most of the time. See, I do things differently now. I'm not perfect, but I try to watch my diet and exercise. And I check my blood sugar, and I get all my diabetic testing supplies from Liberty Mutual.

Like I said, I'm not perfect. I guess.. some of the things I told you just now are downright fibs. Like the diet and exercise thing. When I said I watch my diet, I guess I mean I watch the minivan from Buddy's Barbecue pull up and unload about $200 worth of pork ribs onto my driveway. While I stand in the doorway hiding my food boner in my Bermuda shorts.

When it comes to exercise, well that's just a boldfaced lie. I've never moved fast enough to sweat , except when I was making a baby. Even then, I took some much-needed breaks. My doctor isn't even sure I've got diabetes. He just says I look like somebody who would have it. I do check my blood-sugar every day, though, just in case. And Liberty Medical brings all the teting supplies right to my door, so it's easy to track my health.

[ sprays whipped cream into his mouth ]

Who am I kidding? That's bull hockey! I don't keep track of my health at all! People just assume I eat a lot of quaker Oats, so I must be okay. Hell, I wouldn?t eat oatmeal if it was the filling in a Dove bar. I can't stand that gobbledlygook! It always seems like somebody else ate it first. Sorry, Quaker, but I'm Wilford Brimley, I say it how I feel it.

You know what I do like, are them S'Mores. And old-fashioned wedding cake frosting - the kind that's still got lard in it. And merangue made out of egg yolks instead of egg whites. Some people call it cholestoral, I just call it good.

If you have diabetes, you check your blood sugar, and you check it often. There's no reason not to. Call Liberty. They can help you have a better life.

Now, I'm gonna go get off my horse by getting onto a smaller horse, and then onto a large dog, until I'm near enough to the ground to roll off.

You take care now.

 

[image=http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k124/skarblog/zardoz_02.jpg]

"Wilford Brimley speaks to you..."

 

Is that the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin?
[image=http://i26.tinypic.com/2q8q1bo.jpg]

 

You know...down...there?

 

"You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are [not Liberty]. To this end, [Wilford Brimley] your God gave you the gift of the [Infomercial]. [Call Liberty]!"

"[Diabeetis] is evil! The [Diabeetis] shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the [drug advertising industry] shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! [Wilford Brimley] has spoken."

[image=http://www.channingavenue.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/brimley.jpg]

"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here."

 

LOL. Win.

 

Diabeetus Battle

This is how he fights off diabeetus on Endor.

 

[image=http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f318/gibbs2006/tor-johnson-1.jpg]

The Once and Future Wilford Brimley

 

[image=http://thejosevilson.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/fresh-prince-of-bel-air-will-smith.jpg]

 

[image=http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q45/rlj_07/a96e337a.gif]
You think that thing wanted to be an animal?! No dog can make it a thousand miles to the caost! You don't understand, that thing wanted to be UUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!