Story [Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/Grinch] Marvin's Christmas Eve (Holiday X-Over Challenge Response)

Title: Marvin?s Christmas Eve
Timeframe: Shortly before THHGttG
Genre: Humour???
Summary: Marvin wanders away when Zaphod and Trillian go to find Christmas, and he discovers a rather odd person. Consequences of this meeting include his programming somehow being rewritten so that even his miserable droid-y thoughts include rhymes. One-shot.
Notes: This is quite possibly the silliest thing I have ever written, even surpassing a story written from the perspective of a comb. Don?t take anything seriously. At all.

Written for the Holiday Crossover Challenge.

And for Nat.

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[blockquote][b]Marvin?s Christmas Eve[/b][/blockquote]

Marvin sat down on the snowy hill looking down at the miserable little town below. It was just his luck that they had mistaken Earth for some other place, though the Earth girl was trying desperately to convince him otherwise. But he was smarter than her ? a million, trillion times more intelligent. He could tell with one glance that this [i]wasn?t[/i] Earth, despite the Christmas decorations in the town, but Trillian did not believe him for one second and instead tried to tell him to ?cheer up.? Cheer up? There was no such thing as cheering up? at least not when it was so cold outside that your gears and motors would probably freeze within a minute.

Trillian?s response to that was to ignore him.

As usual.

Zaphod didn?t care about what was happening around him as he was too involved in making several dozen Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters in order to celebrate the holiday correctly and spread around the Christmas cheer to the natives. The eccentric eagerness which the President took in roaming around this little washed-up ice ball was all very depressing.

So while Trillian and Zaphod prepared ghastly Christmas, Marvin made his way out of the ship because he couldn?t stand Eddie singing Jingle Bell Rock one more time. He made his way through the deep snow, ignoring the tiny little village where all the nasty colourful Christmas decorations had been strewn across the buildings, and tried to escape.

He subsequently got lost in the blizzard that descended upon the town and its surroundings.

But sooner or later, and with more luck than he probably deserved ? after all, the possibility of him falling off a cliff in those overly treacherous mountains was all very, very likely ? he stumbled across a cave.

A cave that was furnished like a house.

Well, well. Did the universe have no surprises left it in at all?

Standing in the front of the cave was a very odd-looking creature or person that should have belonged in a children?s story fantasy world. His name was the Grinch and when Marvin came up to him, he was glaring sullenly down at the wretchedly festive town below.

[i]At last![/i] Marvin thought. [i]Someone who understands how utterly meaningless and ghastly all of these celebrations are.[/i]

The Grinch turned as Marvin stumbled through the snow towards him. One eyebrow was raised and he growled, ?What kind of [i]Who[/i] are you? Or do you not like Christmas, too??

Marvin, whose gears were too cold to properly function, as luck would have it, wandered over to the mouth of the cave.

?No,? he said. ?I am not a [i]Who[/i]. Those are the things down there, aren?t they? Of course they are. You don?t need to tell me. I am very smart, after all. I am smarter than all the people on this planet put together, and no one has any use for my intelligence at all.?

?So you [i]aren?t[/i] a [i]Who[/i] then?? the Grinch said. ?That will save me the trouble of locking you in a pen,? he added, musingly.

?You are trying too hard to rhyme your words,? Marvin remarked nonchalantly.

?Am I? My, my,? he answered. ?But it does not really matter, because I have an idea that will stop all the chatter!?

?Does it involve throwing yourself off this cliff?? Marvin said.

?No, but I [i]do[/i] know just what to do!? The Grinch stood up and declared, ?And I think you will love my idea too! Because I can see that you don?t like Christmas either, and gue

 

That was great!

Poor Marvin, as if he didn't have enough to deal with....

Simply....wow. Captured the spirit of the original Hitchhiker's Guide perfectly.

 

That was awesome! Poor Marvin.

 

Excellent, Hitchhiker's Guide is definitely one of my favorites and you definitely have Marvin well in character.

 

I love Marvin Poor guy, getting the rhyming bug. Great story!

 

Marvin and the Grinch! What an awesomely funny combination!

And when Marvin got stuck in 'rhyme mode' I nearly fell off my chair.

Marvin is just marvellous and I loved this. Great answer to the challenge.