"How are you?" Sincerity or Formality?

When you ask this is it a formality or do you mean it sincerely? I was having a discussion with a friend who said that this was the rudest thing you could ask someone. I can't recall her logic but it was awfully cold hearted in my mind. I find it to be a kind gesture if its meant sincerely or not. I personally always mean it sincerely but what about you guys?

Sincerity or Formality?

 

It's a bit overused. "How are you today?" or "How are you doing?" is good to use with older people, including older family members, but newer slang terms should be used with younger people. I know, it sounds rude but, which would you rather do, say "how are you today?" to a young person, and get a weird look, or use "What's going on?, Sup?" and be able to communicate with the person?

To answer your question though, it is sincere, because just asking in the first place is a lot better then not saying anything.

 

Thats my principle. i like when people ask how I am doing. Its a sign of a polite person showing at least a faked concern for your well being. And being a young person myself (at age 21 I hope I am not old ) I always ask how people are. COuld just be me though.

 

I am always sincere when I ask it...otherwise I just do not ask.

 

I think its a question where you don't really want an honest answer. If everything's not fine I really don't wanna tell a stranger about why it is not.

Most of the time when someone asks they don't expect you to say anything but fine or doing well.

 

Formality.

Life is too short..... Let's get on with it.

 

Of course there are always those people who have to elaborate on their condition instead of just saying, "I"m fine, thanks."

 

Formality. That's why I never ask. Friendliness is a waste of time.


oh, and, 21 is old

 

If I am being formal I'd say, "How do you do"

 

How are you?
How's it going?
These are just formalities. They are greetings just like 'hello'. The person who is asking you doesn't really want to know the whole story of how you really are feeling at the moment. An answer isn't really necessary besides "fine, and you?" or "fine, how are you?" or just a simple nod of the head. At least that's how it is in CA.

 

You assume much Jedi Racer. Everytime I ask i sincerely want to know how they are. I find people fascinating and hearing them talk about the details of their life can be enlightening. It helps them to talk about things sometimes and I find it refreshing that sometimes I am not the only one dealing with difficult things. At least for my part "how are you" is sincere. If you have a gushing head wound I want to hear about it.

 

I usually just say 'hey' as a greeting. If I want to know, I'll ask.

If I were to say 'what's up?' as a greeting, as do many people I know, I could easily fall into this trap.

 

Usually when I ask this, there's two meanings. Both are sincere... first I'll ask someone how they are doing today as an overall idea of what mood they are in and if there's anything wrong. A bit later, I may ask it again, but more like 'And how are you doing today?' meaning a more personal question of how they are doing in their life with everything today. It's all sincere... I really do want to know as a friend.

 

I find that it usually has to do with if you're asking someone you know well or not. If you're asking your family or your friends, they'll often take it as an opening to really tell you how they're doing, because they know you care; if it's a stranger or someone you're not as comfortable with, a "fine" is likely all you'll get.