How do you convince someone that life is worth living?

I have this friend who has never been very stable mentally. Her psychiatrist has labelled her "chemically inbalanced". Her actions are very bi-polar; One minute she's extremely happy and the next she's depressed.

Just recently she's questioning the meaning of life, and I really think she's going to commit suicide soon. She's been going around asking people which is better, life or death. So far none of us have been able to come up with good reasons for living that would apply to her. She's an atheist, so any religious ideals don't apply. She's absolutely convinced that happiness and sadness in life just balance out to zero, and since we all die anyway, why not just do it now?

She's been a good friend of mine for almost 10 years, and her behavior as of late really disturbs me. I've always respected her opinions because she's one of the smartest people I know, but with this recent theory of hers, I find myself to be quite stumped.

so now I'm wondering, if a person believes there's no god, no heaven or hell, and they don't find life enjoyable, what is the point of living?

 

Show her some good things in life....

Like Disneyland. Can´t go wrong there.

 

Sounds like she's making herself miserable. She has to realize that she can actually make herself happy.

 

If that is her view then tell her to read The Stranger...By Camus...because it is about a person that accepts the absurdity of life...and learns to love it and enjoy life's simple and raw beauty...and savor life because it is too mad short...
-------------------
~~Taun Wel likes Camus...
Star Wars NYC: Visit the Big Apple Boards

 

Well, you're her friend, you love her. Tell her how much it would hurt you and the other people who love her if she were to kill herself. Then just remind her of all the small blessings of life: good tasting food, good friends, nice pets, a nice hot shower, how nice it is to take a walk outside, etc. (the list could go on...) Like someone said, take her to fun things, like Disneyland, or just out to eat, whatever. Or try to get her to have a goal in life: think of some hobby you can get her interested in that will give her at least a small amount of direction and a goal.

These are a few ideas. I hope that's helpful.

 

"so now I'm wondering, if a person believes there's no god, no heaven or hell, and they don't find life enjoyable, what is the point of living? "


You're assuming it's a zero-sum game. That everything balances to zero in the end.

Well, that's not true, and a very selfish way of looking at life. You're implying that your actions and feelings in no way affect other people. You can choose to make 1,000 other people happy, or 1,000 other people sad.

To quote the best line from Gladiator...

"What we do in life echoes an eternity"

 

Ismaren, i was in exactly the same position, and i didnt know how to approach my friend about it. Things got worse when his parents divirced, and he attempted suicide. Luckily he failed, and since then things have gotten better. Im sorry i cant help you with advice but i guess i just wanted to say its totally upto you to help your friend and not think anyone else will do it.
Anyway good luck
-----
-Comic Book Guy

 

First of all.....you need to MAKE her seek professional help. When a person comes to term with the decision to commit suicide...you as a friend can do nothing. Often, after they have made the decision to kill themselves..there is a period of calm.happiness...witch brings everyones guard down.

Bi-polar can be a very dangerous ailment..and that is just what it is....she can not help her moods. It is a chemical thing. You need to speak with her therapist...her parents...the police...school officials..to get her help. She may be mad in the short term..but the long term is that you will save her life.

Get your friend help.....by talking about dying.she is CRYING out for it. Get it for her.....please.

 

I agree with darthmomm. Your friend needs to be shown help. This is something that is bigger than the two of you and only a professional can deal with it.

 

Yes, they make a good point. Get professional help. But also make sure that you are always there for her, and that she knows that you don't want her dead.

 

I think I have the number of her psychiatrist, and I should try calling her and talking to her about it. I know she was on medications for awhile, but they screwed up her liver pretty badly and now she can't take any medications whatsoever. My understanding of Bipolar disorder is the only way you can really control it is through drugs.

and to talk to her parents would be a waste of time. Their lack of caring is part of the reason it's gotten this bad.

 

"How do you convince someone that life is worth living?"

The short - and unpleasant - answer is you can't. Some people are just biologically predisposed to have psychiatric problems and you can't do a thing about it. They will find something to be depressed about no matter what. So tread lightly here. Just try to be as supportive of your friend as you can, let her know you care about her, and make sure she is still being treated for the problem and not the symptoms. If she can't take medications for her disorder, make sure she is at least seeing her psychiatrist, who can maybe offer her some alternatives.

 

as was said, have them seek profesional help. go with them if you need, to, but that's the best thing for them right now.

 

Give them something worth living for. Drugs aren't the answer to everything.

 

That's true, but there's a bigger stigma surrounding drugs than there ought to be. A lot of people who could benefit from drugs refuse to take them because they're embarrassed or afraid to. So that can cut both ways.

 

If that is her view then tell her to read The Stranger...By Camus...because it is about a person that accepts the absurdity of life...and learns to love it and enjoy life's simple and raw beauty...and savor life because it is too mad short...


I'm supposed to be reading that book for english class as I type. It's due tomorrow.


You might want to research this a little further, but tell her that the vast majority of people who attempt suicide and don't succeed talk about how they desperately didn't want to die after they realized it was done. I read that in a Chicken Soup book.

 

Drugs can help open the door, but a person has to walk through it themself.

 

EXACTLY. That's why I think people who are having a hard time getting over psychological problems should be willing to consider prescription drugs. Sometimes you try and try and try to think yourself out of your problems and it just doesn't work, frustrating you even more. But when it's impossible for you to get up on your own, you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help.

 

You should not feel the need, or be placed in the position, of telling your friend that life is worth living. It's not your responsibility (is there anyone else besides you who cares this deeply about the girl?).

This is a hard reality to face, but there is very little you can do to change her belief that life is not worth living. And this is coming from someone who has spent the better part of 29 years struggling to find a reason to get up in the morning, let alone go out into the world.

Yes, your friend needs help, and medication might aid in easing her depression. But there are a lot of bipolar patients who do not respond to medication alone. She really needs to have a balanced combination of therapy and medication, not one over the other. And she needs a strong support system.

But I have to say, you need a strong support system, too. You are doing a very brave thing by tackling this dilemmia...most people see a person who is depressed and tell them to cheer up, or run the other way. But you cannot bear this alone. Coming here to the JCC to ask for advice was a good step, but you need to go farther and communicate what you said here to someone in your "real life", someone who can help the both of you.

 

I have this friend who has never been very stable mentally. Her psychiatrist has labelled her "chemically inbalanced". Her actions are very bi-polar; One minute she's extremely happy and the next she's depressed.

edit: scratch the lithium option. I missed the health problem part.

I hope she gets better soon.

 

Apparently she can't take lithium because of health problems... that's why the situation is so difficult.

 

Take a look at some of these books

A chemical imbalance in the brain isn't a rare occurance, I suggest that this person sees a therapist. If indeed she has been diganosed with bi-polarity, there are medicines that can help with these chemical imbalances like Zoloft. I highly suggest you take a look into this.

But in explaining to a person that their life is worth living, won't have an effect, it's up to the person to make that choice. You can't make that choice for them but there are ways that you can help, I can't tell you them because I don't know but I hope you find them.