I'm a Clayton's Girlfriend: The girlfriend you have when you're not having a girlfriend

Okay, when I say 'have' I don't mean "have nudgenudgewinkwink" ok?

First, the reference: There is a cola cordial type of drink called Dr Clayton's Nerve-Eze Formula. The slogan is "The drink you have when you're not having a drink".

Anyway, for the benefit of my 'I'm not alone in this' convictions, let me explain my situation.

I have a friend (Male, 25, known him for years so there is no residual sexual tension. This guy has thrown up in my hair for gawds sake) called, for the purpose of this thread, Charlie. Now, Charlie and I hang out a lot, play pool, go to the movies, go to the pub. We're best friends! I go round to his house to play xbox, he comes round to my place to cook bbqs. We don't sleep together or stay over or anything suspiciously like a casual relationship. Its a great set up. All good. BUT...

As soon as a girl comes along and Charlie-boy sniffs even the slightest chance that he'll be able to hook up with her, he dumps me. Literally, he has a conversation with me about how he relaly likes me, but if he wants to have any chance with this girl, he needs me to clear out. All of his male friends are allowed to meet the girl, to go out with them to the pub or wherever, but not me. This, in my opinion, sucks! I don't get how I need to be dumped, when I'm just a friend!

Grrr...

Does anyone else have this problem or type of relationship? Just for the telling a 'I've been there' story aspect, I don't need your pity

 

where is this man, i will skin him with a mouse.

 

Bone him and he will never leave you.

 

that's dumb, he should find a girl that will let him hang out with other girls!

 

In the lexicon of myself and my friends, you're a surrogate partner: you fulfill the role of girlfriend when he doesn't have one, minus the "benefits". I have a friend who seems to be an eternal surrogate boyfriend - he's got a lot of female friends, and they like hanging out with him, but they're either taken or just not interested in going that extra step.

This Charlie guy sounds like a bit of a high-level moron, though. Get a boyfriend (wait, do you have one?) and ignore him for a while.

 

Bone him and he'll never leave you

Words of wisdom indeed, but I don't want to bone him you see? I like the whole platonic thing! Besides, I've seen how he treats women

Hawk: Yeah, Charlie is of the Highest Order of Moron...but who will play NFS with me if I 'dump' him?

 

If you like the guy, and this is bothering you, the next time he does that to you, don't talk to him for a few weeks if ever again because it won't change.

I'm not in the same situation but the girl I was with couldn't make her mind up about anything to do with us (ON OFF, ON OFF, ON OFF) for years. I am through with it now, for real and my life is a heck of alot healthier because of it. I couldn't care less about where she is now.

 

Kick him in the bollocks, dear.

Okay, that's my solution for everything, but in my head, there's wisdom in it.

---------------------

But yeah, something like this happened to me back in HS. I had a girl-friend who would always disappear everytime some bloke came along. Then one fateful night, things came to a head, and it took a couple years before either one of us talked again.

Ah well. Some people just suck, I guess.



Glaine ár gcroí. Neart ár ngéag. Agus beart de réir ár mbriathar.

 

You are getting a raw deal, PulsarSkate. None of my guy friends ever had a problem with me hanging out with them and their girlfriends every now and then.

Give him another chance, but if he does it again, get rid of him and find someone else to play Xbox with.

 

Jon, I have tried the good kicking in the bollocks option...seems he doesn't appreciate it.


NP, I think you might be right! I have other male friends (granted not as close) who have no problem with me when they have girlfriends, but Charlie just seems to fob me off just a little too much.

So I now through open the doors to all and sundry who have an xbox and who wouldn't mind me hanging out at their place for a few hours every weekend!

 

What a craptastic so-called friend.

I have guy friends and if my boyfriends (or in my case now husband) wanted my guy friends out of the picture they quickly found themselves dateless. Your friends have been there before and they will most likely be there after. If the bf/gf can't accept that, then there are plenty who will. Your friends a jerk, and you should tell him it bothers you.

I agree with Eva...kick him in the balls.

 

*raises hand* I have an X-Box!

And I'm just a hop, skip, and a 12 hour plane ride away!

...



EDIT: Holy ****! Someone agreed with me!



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Your story is the stuff sitcoms are made of.

 

I have a friend who seems to be an eternal surrogate boyfriend - he's got a lot of female friends, and they like hanging out with him, but they're either taken or just not interested in going that extra step.

I'm one of those! None of the girls I hang out with are even remotely interested in me!

 

Yes, Jon, but I could by my own xbox many times over before I ever got to your doorstep Be patient!

Jedi-lite - You think? Maybe I could sell my story

Rampani - Poor you...I feel your pain!

 

The guy deserves it. He's ditching a good friend...and not just any friend no...a girl...a girl that also likes SW and has a kick ass accent. The guys a moron. Kick him in the junk, take his Xbox and either give it to someone deserving or sell his system and buy a plane ticket to go play Eva.

 

The way I see this though, after thinking about it is that I don't like the idea of my girlfriends having guy friends.

I just don't like it. Getting in cars, going for coffee. I don't agree with it... Because, I am a guy. A guy does not want to be your friend. At least not in most cases. If you're hot, he is most definately not wanting coffee for at least some of the time spent together. It is just impossible.

 

I agree with Leia wholeheartedly. Jessie should come over and play with me.



.... well... except the part about the accent. Mine's way cooler... It just takes unhealthy amounts of alcohol to come out anymore.





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You would agree though, that if you were in a car with say your sister or mother, that it would be a completely asexual thing?

Its the same if you've had a friend for years and years. I guarantee any kind've intimate contact is the last thing on your mind. You have no female friends that you feel that way about?

 

but who will play NFS with me if I 'dump' him?

Me, I'll play. Forget Jon.

In anycase, Charlie=teh big moron. That's really all I got to say about that. *shakes head*

 

*kicks Elu in the bollocks*

jk



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To be honest, no, I don't.

Friends wives or girlfriends, when I'm hanging with my friends, but not to shoot pool, coffee, that sort of thing.

If I am going for coffee with a woman, within a month we are having sex.

 

Leia800, I think you're on the same wavelength as I am. I might as well be this guys sister. But I'm not, and that's not the nature of our relationship, so thats way its pissing me off.

As for the whole 'guys can't be friends' I have never been the object of this guys lust or had him try to chat me up, so either I'm horrifyingly ugly (some of the girls he dates are very loaded up on personality) or we have found the equillibrium!


Edit: Whoa! Lord M, that's a big claim! I go out to have coffee/drink/shoot pool with guys all the time, some of them are great friends and I haven't slept with any of them...Now I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me...

 

Bah. Forget NFS. I'll bring NFSU2! And Halo 2!

Meanwhile, while all my female friends chill with their boyfriends, I'm either at work or at home. I usually just see them at school.

I really need to get a girlfriend.

 

Aye, that's an arseways theory. My best friend is a girl, and neither of us would EVER consider sleeping together. It'd just be icky.



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