In ESB, what was said at the dinner table when Lando turned over Han to Vader?

So forgive me if this is stated in the book, but i was wondering what you all thought about this particular scene that Lucas doesnt show us on screen. That is, once Lando hands over Han to Vader, the scene pretty much ends after Han fires off a couple shots only to be deflected by Vader. So, Im curious what you all would guesstimate the dialogue to have been between all those in attendance: han, chewy, vader, boba, lando etc...

 

In the radio dramatization, before Boba Fett makes himself seen Han and Chewie decide to challenge Vader to a physical contest.

During this time, Han's bravado and bluster is on full blast: He insults Vader, calling his disarmament just a parlor trick, criticizes Vader's style of clothing, and states that Vader isn't the biggest challenge that he and Chewie have faced.

Then Vader calls a number of stormtroopers in and tells Fett to show himself. After recognizing Fett, Han asks if someone had turned over a rotten log. Han then surrenders and Vader states that he would have enjoyed taking on Chewie and Han by himself. Lando then explains that he's sorry that he betrayed Han. Han says "I'm sorry too." Then Vader gets in the closing line with:

"Not nearly as sorry as you're going to be, Captain Solo. For every insult you shall scream a dozen times!"

 

Well isn't our dear Sith Lord a mite sensetive. I suspect there would have been a fair amount of bravado on Solo's part. In the imagined "deleted scene" from ESB. Although now that I think about it. It is a good thing it was never filmed, or written. What real, or meaty, true to charactor dialog could there have been anyway? But it is one heck of a scene to imagine. I just can't think of what would have been said. In ESB Han and Vader never actually spoke anyway. And Han even says after the torture scene. "They never even asked me any questions."

 

"So... you think you're good enough to date my daughter?"
"Well, I..."
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Well, I'm thinking this trading business of mine could take off..."
"No...I foresee you hanging off a wall like trophy for many years to come. Honey, could you pass me a straw? Daddy doesn't want to have to take off his helmet to drink..."
"RAWRGH!"
"Chewie! No begging at the table!"

 

I always imagined Vader asking someone to pass the mashed potatoes...

...and then pushing a handful through the grill of his mask.

 

Yeah, i just noticed that in the entire series Han and Vader never speak a word to each other. Weird. So theres no presidence really to how their dialog to each other would sound.

 

- So... Your Han Solo
- Umm, right, and your....
- Vader
- Vader, yea right... Well, very funny Lando, but do you really think i wouldve bought this?

 

vader: has anybody ever seen a pod race?

han: they have podracing on correlia, very fast, very dangerous

vader: im the only human who can do it

 

I don't think they actually ate dinner. More like they dragged everyone off to be seperately tortured, until Vader was sufficiently convinced that Luke had sensed their pain.

 

Scene: Cloud City dining room:

Han: Hey, Darth, got any scorched almonds?

Vader: For every Mustafar joke, you will scream a dozen times!

Han: How about some crispy chicken?


...scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream ...

 

i don't know why this just makes me laugh so hard.

 

Or how about...

Vader: "What did you and the Princess do to occupy the time during the long journey to Bespin?"

Han: (uncomfortable) "Well....Ummm"

Vader: "IF I had a daughter, and a smuggler like you even laid one finger on her, I would...

Han begins to choke on BLUE MILK!

HA!

 

AHAHAAHAhahaha...clever one!!

 

Ok, the mashed potatoes idea was awesome. I will say that. I think since I was pretty young I have come up with several demented scenario's about how it all went down. For some reason I determined that Lando was the source of Han's torture, not Luke. Lando sent down some of his best steaks all cooked up and while the rest of the bunch was enjoying their tasty meal, some whirring went on behind Vader's mask as he sucked his favorite "Apple A La Blender" up threw a device in his helmet. Chewie was trying to steal Boba Fett's steak. Han was blubbering about how "This isn't so bad, see, we can all get along. Let's forget that whole blaster shot aimed at you thing and enjoy this meal!" After that statement and Seeing our heroes actually enjoying their meal enraged Vader to the point where he tossed force tossed their plates of food against the wall and directed them immediately to the torture chamber.

Carnage

 

Vader: Are you an angel?



(Slightly inspired by that podrace comment)

 

Darth Vader: Lando, pass the sal please.
Lando: Oh, you're askin me to apss the salt? Do I look like your servant? 10 000 years into the future, and a brother still can't catch a break. This whole galaxy is racist!

 

Or sucking strands of spagetti through his grill. One flicks up and sticks to his mask. Han snickers, Leia giggles, Chewie howls with delight, even Boba Fett, unsuccessfully, tries to smother a laugh.
Vader looks around at everyone seated at the table. "What? What's so funny? Why are you all laughing?" All this does is cause everybody to double over in laughter.
With the noodle firmly stuck to his faceplate, Vader becomes enraged. "You're laughing at me? Stop it! Stop it, I say! STOP IT!" But it does no good. Each protest from the Dark Lord only brings another convulsive wave of howls and screams of delight from the other diners, half of which are now seated on the floor, having fallen out of their chairs.
Then it happens. Leia falls to the floor, tipping her plate and spilling her spagetti over the front of her blouse. Boba cackles and points at Leia. Han, while laughing at Leia, reaches up from the floor to grab a few strand of pasta and fling them at Boba. Boba retaliates with a meatball. Within seconds, a foodfight has erupted, with everybody taking part in it, excepting Vader.
As Vader surveys the wreckage of what should have been his victory meal, his rage boils over, and he lets loose with a force-choke on everybody as he screams, "ENOUGH!"
Had he concentrated the force-choke on a single person, that person's vertabrae would have instantly turned to powder, but there were so many, and the force-choke was so spread out, that all Vader succeded in doing was causing everyone to stop, catch their breath, and turn their attention to him.
He didn't need the Force, he could see what they were about to do in their eyes. He raised his hands to use force-deflection, but there was no way he could stop the whole torrent of pasta, meatballs, and sauce from reaching him.
Vader stood there, covered from helmet to boot with pasta, pieces of meat, and goo, his breathing unit making bubbling sounds every time he exhaled. The laughter had ceased, but grins of ridicule were on the faces of Han, Leia, and even Chewie.
"Guards," Vader said in a surprisingly subdued voice,"take the prisoners away."
"Sorry about the mess." Solo called out sarcasticly as he was led away with the other two. As he passed by Lando, Lando said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too.", Han replied, then leaned close to Lando and whispered,"But not as sorry as he's gonna be. You ever try to get tomato stains off of leather?" Then he gave Lando a wink as a stormtrooper grabbed him and hurried him along to join the others on the way to their cell. Han knew in his heart that they were dead, he'd known that the moment he'd first seen Vader. But no matter how they ended up dying, Vader could never take this last hurrah from him. He would die with a smile on his face.

 

I think Han says, "Please pass the taters..."

And then Vader says, "Would you like some gravy?"

And then Chewie probably said something like, "RRROWWWRROOWWWRRR"

And Leia probably said, "This is the tartest cranberry sauce I ever ate."

Boba Fett was quiet as usual.

 

Those are some seriously funny stories. I haven't laughed so much in ages. I can just imagine Vader ending up in a nice steak and spaghetti mess

 

Leia: Oh finally! I'm so hungry!
::ugnaughts bring out food::
Leia: Ew! I can't eat this!
Han: Look, this is more food than these people eat in a week.
Leia: Oh No thanks then, you can. .
Han: You're Insulting them, and you're embarrasing me. Eat.
Chewie: Raaaarrrgggggghhh (eat)
3PO: ::in pieces::
Lando: Yes, Eat.

 

It's way better that the scene is left to our imaginations. As a kid I always felt the second that door was closed Han, Leia & Chewie were doomed.

It's a classic SW moment...heck a classic moment in film history.

As far as the radio dramatization goes, unfortunately I haven't heard this scene...but I love that Han is wild with the things he says in those dramas.

 

Han: So um, ever tried closing your mouth when you breath? You know my brother's an allergist.

Vader: So? Why do you ask?

Han: Oh, no reason. Hey is that wampa lasagna? You know, I wasn't hungry when we were upstairs, but now that I see food, I think I'll have a bite.

Vader: I know right. Isn't that weird? Fett and I were just talking about that. Have a seat and dish some up.

Han: Thanks. Chewie, elbows off the table.

Vader: Does anyone mind if I take this mask off while we eat?

Han: Uh, yeah, could you not? I mean... lasagna...

Vader: Right, right.

 

I had always hoped they had a civil meal before they were horrendeously tortured and mistreated. I just hoped that Vader was like that.

 

haha I enjoyed that. For some reason I am picturing vader saying it with the voice of anakin in TPM! i have no idea why or how he would do that!