[Infidelity], Which is worse: Kissing or sex, or are both equally bad?

One of my friends is a wreck right now, after he found out his girlfriend had been kissing with one of her old boyfriends. In my friends oppinion, kissing is worse, something about it being more personal and intimate. Personally, I think it's the other way around.

Third oppinion is from another friend, she believes both are unforgivable acts.


So who is right?


Edit: Clarity

 

did you ever get your tattoo fixed?

 

I would say sex is worse but honestly kissing ain't that great to begin with. That should be enough to call it quits IMO.

 

Sex, but kissing seems the worst tho.

 

Well, what you need to do is get caught having sex with his girlfriend. Then you can ask him if he's reevaluated his opinion.

 

I would say that the context would be more relevant when catching them kissing as opposed to catching them having sex.

 

I have never had sex without kissing.

 

The breach of trust is the worst, regardless of the physical act.

 

You can have sex without kissing? What fun is that?

I think they both can be equally as bad depending on the relationship. There are some relationships where one of the other or both would be fine and not be a breech in the relationship. In this case though it sounds like they didn't have that kind of relationship. So in this case I would say both are equally as bad, I don't think he would be more upset about one or the other.

 

Either way, the woman has commitment issues (either with your friend specifically or with monogamous partnership in general). She should not be in a monogamous relationship while she sorts these issues out, unless your friend prefers the pain of being cheated on to the pain of separation. Either way, it seems he loses.

 

I agree, but in a lot of cases, kissing can mean a be a lot more emotional than sex. There is still going to be the feeling of betrayal, but knowing that your S.O. kissed somebody else and thinking about where that may have headed if you hadn't caught him, would be personally worse to me than catching them having sex.

Mostly, because catching them kissing would hurt my feelings deeply, while catching them ****ing would piss me off.

If that makes sense. y/n

 

I think it totally depends. A drunken one night stand is more forgivable than a continual affair where making out is happening but sex isn't; but a continual sexual affair is less forgivable than a few 'spin the bottle' type makeouts. Kind of like what dork said, it has more to do with how/why the trust was broken.

Though, personally, I'd find it difficult to forgive any of the above. But I can be kind of vindictive.

 

I have plenty of girl-friends and typically my girlfriends had plenty of boy-friends and we kiss them hello/goodbye. Presumably this is not what your friend was speaking of, but there is some context missing I agree.

 

QFT

 

No, I started saving up money, to get a new one that'll cover up the part the ***** screwed up.

 

I don't think one being worse than the other is relevant at all. If you see your significant other so much as holding hands with another then there is a problem. I am a touchy feely type person, but I know when to keep my hands off and I do not go around trying to hold hands or kissing people who are quite obviously taken...though if they threw themselves at me I might rethink that, but that's never happened so.

 

I plan on draping myself over Erwin in Vegas; I hope Kendra does not mind.

 

Might make it more interesting.

 

Some of it depends on what on whom is getting kissed,I think.

 

If I'm video taping it, it's hardly cheating, is it?

 

Obviously it all depends on what these acts mean to each person and to their relationships.

While I see them both being equally hurtful, I think kissing would be more forgivable. And again, I think it all depends on context. For example, was he kissing her, or was she kissing him? What type of kiss was it? There are different scenarios where I can imagine myself forgiving her. When it comes to sex, I can't think of any type of context that would warrant forgiveness.

 

what if he tripped and fell and somehow managed to land in a way that his weewee went into her woowoo? totally accidental and as the mod favorite, i'd think it's very forgivable.

 

wait, wut

 

Seems reasonable to me!

 

I'm not sure how to answer this, considering I am, at the moment, "the other man" in a relationship of this type. In my case, I've known this woman for seven years, we've had our on-again/off-again periods, we're talking about our long-term options (dating, marriage, kids, location, jobs, etc., etc.), and she's currently in a relationship with someone she's known for about two years (with whom she shares less interests, no long term plans, etc.). Long and convoluted story (suffice it to say, we date, break up, date other people, get back together after realizing that we work better together, lather, rinse, repeat over the past few years). We hooked up on Friday afternoon, met by accident today (kinda - she hunted me down), and do all of the above in the thread title.

So is this infidelity?