Is Natalie Portman really a woman?!?!

Methinks I see one bulge too many.

 

Bored tonight, Eric?

 

Methinks you don't know much about women.

 

Bored tonight, Eric?

Yes, I'm very bored.

EDIT:
Methinks you don't know much about women.

I know plenty, thank you.

 

I didn't really see anything...

If you did, it's probably the lighting jacemathem. And those trousers are really shiny so when the light hits them everything gets a bit distorted in the picture.

 

That's what I thought.

No, Natalie's not a guy.....she's just extremely skinny and bony.

 

she's just extremely skinny and bony

I'll give you "bony".

 

.....but not bony in the way you're thinking, I'll bet.

 

Yeah... Next you'll be saying her real name is Mark or something crazy like that.

 

I think you're just seeing what you want to see

 

I think you're just seeing what you want to see

Mark? ?

 

Marky Mark?

C'mon, c'mon....feel it, feel it!

 

You may be right. It could be the real reason Anakin turns to the darkside.

Anakin sneaked into Padme's abode to surprise her with his arrival. As he made his way to the fresher he peeked around the corner to see.....PADME WAS STANDING UP WHILE SHE USED THE FRESHER!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

ACE

Ho, ho! Fiction can be fun! But I find the reference section much more enlightening.

(doing his best Clarence Darrow)

For instance, if you were to look up 'professional football's all time bonehead plays', you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a twenty-six yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl Seventeen.

(in one breath)

What you wouldn't read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind, and was committed to a mental institute, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, seducing her way to the top, in a diabolical plan to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing!!!


Ace gasps for air. Everyone is totally confused.


AGUADO

What the hell are you trying to say?


ACE

She's not Lois Einhorn! She's Ray Finkle! She's a man!


EINHORN

He's lying! Shoot him!


Ace walks over to her.


ACE

Let's just see who's lying. Would a real woman have to wear one of these?


Ace dramatically pulls at Einhorn's hair, thinking it's a wig. Einhorn's head flies back.

The hair is real. Ace keeps tugging it.


The SWAT team ready themselves.


ACE (CONT'D)

Boy, that's really on there! But tell me this: Would a real woman be missing these?!


Ace rips open Einhorn's blouse, and reveals two beautiful feminine breasts.


The sharp shooters are tensing. Ace is laughing nervously now.


ACE

Ha, ha, ha! That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend! But I doubt if she could find the time during her busy schedule to get rid of Mr. Knish!!


Ace rips off Einhorn's skirt. Einhorn now stands there only in underwear. She appears to be the perfect figure of a woman.


ACE

Oooh boy.


Ace looks at Melissa and Emilio and shrugs his shoulders. Then, just when it seems all is lost, Dan Marino who is back behind Einhorn, motions for Ace to come over.


MARINO

Psst? Ace. Come here.


ACE

(to everyone)

Could you excuse me just a second.


Ace goes to Dan. Melissa still holds Emilio hostage.


EINHORN

Shoot him. Shoot him, now!!


MELISSA

(to cops)

Don't anybody make a move!


Marino whispers something in his ear. Ace looks confident again. He once more addresses the crowd.


ACE

Ladies and gentlemen, my esteemed colleague Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal minds can be wrong, from time to time. But, if I have been mistaken? if the
lieutenant is indeed a woman? then my friends, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!!!


Ace spins Einhorn around now, exposing to the world, the healthy set of male genetalia that Finkle has learned to keep tucked between his legs.

 

Great movie.

 

gold

 

With regards to Portman in that picture I am prepared to accept whatever is causing that bump.

 

[face_shocked]

 

Christ that girl's hot. I don't think that that is a bulge of any significance. I think it's just her soft satin skirt ruffling across her soft satiny lap.

 

Why were you looking there?

 

I was told to.

 

Not you, the creator of the thread.

 

Cuz it's jace

 

An interesting topic and I wish to announce I am madly in love with Natalie Portman!

 

Why jace was examining that area of the picture, I do not want to know...