Krankie Felled By Beanstalk

Krankie Felled By Beanstalk
Much-loved children's entertainer Wee Jimmy Krankie is recovering in hospital after falling 20ft from a giant beanstalk. The performer, whose real name is Janette Tough, suffered the accident in front of an audience of young children and pensioners during a Christmas pantomime.Actor Gary Hollywood, who appeared in High Road, was also injured in the fall during the matinee performance of Jack and the Beanstalk at the Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow.

A spokesman for the Scottish Ambulance Service said: "Wee Jimmy Krankie fell out of the beanstalk on to the stage and was taken to Glasgow Royal Infirmary."

The hospital said both actors are in a stable condition.

Speaking after the accident yesterday, a spokesman for the Pavilion Theatre said: "A section of the beanstalk collapsed during today's matinee performance.

"Janette Krankie and Gary Hollywood were both on it when it collapsed and they were taken to hospital."

Janette Tough and her husband and stage partner Ian Tough, both 57, were favourites on TV screens throughout the 1980s when they performed on Crackerjack.

Janette plays the character of naughty schoolboy Wee Jimmy.

The couple are now semi-retired but often return to the stage for festive performances and guest appearances.

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This is NOT fandabidozi. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Krankies and Malkie during this difficult time.

 

This is NOT fandabidozi

that made me lol.

Pity only about 5 people will get it.

Any information on his/her ward number so I can send some flowers and a catapult ?

 

Shouldn't you know? I thought you roadied for them in the 80's.

 

yeah, but that was way back - they've moved on now. I barely see them, although we do exchange christmas cards. They've had so many roadies that I'm just one of many.

 

Just another roadie? You selfish *******! Do you know how many people would give their right arm to be 'just another roadie' for The Krankies? You sicken me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I was honoured to be part of their team during the glory days, but it wasn't all sweet and happyness you know.

 

What on earth do you mean? Offstage they must be exactly as they are onstage. Hijinks and good humour abound.

 

This is the most bizarre showbusiness accident I've heard of since that glitterball fell onto Boy George's head.

 

glitterball fell onto Boy George's head.

there's a joke in there somewhere

 

Indeed Malkie. It's 'boy george'.

 

Krankie always got on my nerves.

 

NO EVERTON!!!! They were FAAAAAANDABIDOZI!

 

Yes, and 'FAAAAAANDABIDOZI!' gets on my nerves.

 

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDABIDOZI!

 

*is annoyed*

 

lol

 

If you can name a better showbiz couple, the female of which became famous for being a midget and dressing like a schoolboy and being a real life Dennis the Menace, do so. Otherwise, don't let your petty jealousy rear it's ugly green head.

 

Hmmm... methinks it is the very act of being the female half of a showbiz couple who is famous for being a midget and dressing like a schoolboy and being a real life Dennis the Menace that gets my goat. Therefore, if there were to be another act like that, (better or worse), they too would annoy me.

 

Why does it annoy you? Her/His pranks are what every schoolboy wishes he could do! I think you're jealous, and that's all it is.

 

As a schoolboy, all I ever wanted to do was play game after game of complicated Chess in order to impress the girls with my complicated Chess playing skills. Then I would retire to the Wine Club as incumbent Corkmaster.

 

And isn't it true that you lost your position as corkmaster when the Krankies' visited your school, and Jimmy was made honourary corkmaster in your stead? Isn't it also true that after that, you set out on a campaign to destroy the Krankies' good name, and sully their reputation?

 

No. It is true that the Krankies visited my school... however I was not succeeded as Corkmaster. The tale is much darker than that.

I was challenged to a game of complicated Chess. However, each time one of my pieces was taken, that horrific cry of 'FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDABIDOZI!' would ring out from this tiny, tiny person. Baffled at the extraordinary volume / pitch to size of person ratio, the ringside scientists took her away for closer examination. The Chess match was abandoned, and I was declared the winner on reputation alone. It was after this, in a bitter and twisted campaign of revenge, the Krankies set about bombarding the Chess Club and the Wine Club with recorded messages each time shouting louder and louder, 'FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDABIDOZI!'. Eventually my fellow Chess players, and fellow Wine Lovers could stand the bombardment no more, and in order to protect their ear drums from permanent damage, I was expelled from both clubs. Their revenge enacted, I was finally left alone... but with my Chess and Wine reputation in the gutter.

For you see, it is not I who bears the grudge, but Jimmy Krankie herself.

 

I do not believe you, for one simple reason. Jimmy Krankie would never destory anyone. She doesn't have it in her. I can see her making such phone calls once or twice, but repeatedly? It's far more likely she'd balance a bucket of cream atop an ajar door, gleefully rubbing her hands together waiting for her unsuspecting victim to open the door and get covered in cream.

This talk of darkness, of revenge. No, no, no. It doesn't fit. You're acting far too innocent. You're beligerant. You're a troublemaker. I doubt you'd sit idly by while this supposed campaign was conducted.

Come now, let's hear the the truth. Enough with the smoke and mirrors.

 

You have been duped... but not by me, by years and years of 'hilarity'. Behind the laughs, behind the buckets of cream and jolly smiles and the many, many F-words, lies the cold beating heart of a vindictive mastermind. Why else do you think Jimmy is the only diminutive female posing as a male schoolboy? Because the competition have never been allowed to come to the fore. She runs a nasty underworld populated by gangsters. She is the Godfather.

I was just a dalliance, a distraction from the more heavy duty stuff. In the minds of children across the land, and it seems in your own fair mind, Jimmy Krankie is the mistress of mirth... however she is also the master of misery. If you displease her him, you can expect a violent and longlasting retribution. It is always the most innocent, those who project the most pleasing image, who have the devil under their school cap.

My own problem was that I did not stand idly by. I went to the police claiming Wee Jimmy Krankie was harassing me. I was of course given the cold shoudler. Who would believe such a tale? No they, or it seems... you. I hope you can now appreciate the problem I had.

 

The problem you have is bitterness, with a pinch of twisted jealousy. I will hear no more of these slanderous lies, nor read these libelous falsehoods. It sickens me that anyone, particulary someone I respect...respected would create such a smear campaign against such a cheeky chap/woman.