Lyrics to go with those parody song titles

This list was in the Force.Net humor section:

Top 16 Songs From the Star Wars Musical
Mon, Nov 24, 03 10:13:34 PM EST

Courtesy of TopFive.com
16> Send in the Clones
15> You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
14> Luke Be a Jedi
13> In the Still of the Carbonite
12> Wookiee Wonderland
11> T-H-E-F-O-R-C-E
10> Jedi From the Block
9> Don't Cry for Me, R2D2
8> I'm Gonna Snatch That Han Right Out of That Lair
7> Meesa Horny
6> My Funny Palpatine
5> My Regards to Broadway, Please Give
4> I Like Big Hutts
3> Looking for Love in Alderan Places
2> Padme, Boy, Is That the Count You Call Count Dooku

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Song From the ?Star Wars? Musical...

1> I Want a Whole New Hand

I thought it would be fun to actually make up lyrics for these songs, and I have a few already:

LUKE BE A JEDI TONIGHT (to the tune of ?Luck be a Lady Tonight?)

Han:
They say your name is Luke
And that there is no doubt
Your luck is such you better hope it won?t
be running out

Your on this ship with me
The Imps we have to crush
And yet before the evening is over
We mightn?t look like much

We might get fried by lasers
(Then you won?t have to pay!)
And so the best that I can do is pray

Obi-Wan:
Luke be a Jedi tonight
Luke be a Jedi tonight
Luke, if your father was a Jedi to begin with
Luke be a Jedi tonight

Luck is it that lets you see
And target those TIES times three?
I know the way you blasted womprats on the planet
Luke be a Jedi with me

[i/]Han:[/i]
A man should never follow blindly
Not just believe in what he?s told

Obi-Wan:
A man should have faith in the will of the force
And respect those who grow old

Lets show the Imps who?s right
Won?t that be a sight!
Remember me Luke, I'm the guy who taught your father
Luke be a Jedi tonight

Han:
I?ve never believed religion
I trust my heart, I trust my soul
But even I concede that there must be some truth
When Luke hits that target hole

Both:
And so the predictions were right
You did well in the fight
Stick with the Force, And you?ll reach your full potential
Luke be a Jedi tonight


I WANT A WHOLE NEW HAND (To the tune of ?I Want to Hold Your Hand?)

Luke
Vader, just told me something
And I don?t understand
When he, said that something
He just cut off my hand
He just cut off my hand
He just cut off my hand.

Vader
Oh please, my Lukie
I said I?m your old man
And please, come with me
I?ll get you a new hand
Now let me hold your hand
I?ll get you a new hand.

We two together could be ruler and son
We?d crush the Emperor, you?re my son
You?re my son, you my son, you my son

Luke
That?s true, except for one thing
That you don?t understand
?Til you realize that something,
I won?t take your new hand,
I won?t take your new hand,
I will not take your hand.

I?ve had my warning, I won?t use the Dark Side.
It?s such a feeling that my heart
can?t deny, can?t deny, can?t deny.


Both
Still, you?ve got that something,
I?ll try to understand
When I?m closely near you,
I want a whole new hand,
I want whole new hand,
I want a whole new hand.


MY FUNNY PALPATINE (to the tune of ?My Funny Valentine?)

Vader:
My funny Palpatine,
Cruel comic Palpatine,
He makes me fry
When his plans
Don?t work
His looks are laughable
Un-photographable,
That?s why he?s not
In any art

When the Dark Side
Makes us reek
(He insists that it?s not weak)
Into the future
He will peek
Is he right?

Still I will follow him
The man with the hollow grin

And I will die a bit each day.

 

It's not on your list, but I wrote one a long time ago that they never responded to me on the Humor Page.

THE FALCON (to the tune of "The Kite" from the Musical "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown")

SUNG BY HAN SOLO:
Little lightspeed, bucket of bolts,
Fastest around, smuggling holds,
Help me get this stupid ship to fly.
Gotta make sure it doesn't stall
Doesn't stop, doesn't fall
Gotta watch out for Empire troopers- whoops!

Out of lightspeed, asteroids here,
Wookie my friend, never you fear,
Han'll keep his wits about him now.
Gotta make sure that Vader doesn't follow me
Jabba's gonna make me dead somehow.

Millions of little things happen ev'ry day
The Falcon seems to lose it's hyperdrive.
Lando, my friend you'd better fix it quick
The bounty on my head is too high.

Little fast talk, using the Force,
Little good luck, (charming,of course!)
Leia's gotta be impressed by me.
Now that you've heard Chewbacca laugh,
Threepio's been torn in half,
Luke, -he is gone and it all feels wrong you see..
E......S......B

Wait a minute,
Lando's nervous.
'it's dinnertime' he said.
Is he double-crossing me?
I grab my gun.
Vader's here.
He says to "sit down",
Stormtroopers all around
Nowhere to run...

Oh-
They will use carbonite.
And you're not going to see me cry.
Not a Cor-ell-ian guy.
Can you please just
Watch my ship......

 

Nice one!

I realized I didn't quite paste all the lyrics to "My Funny Palpatine"-- corrected that

 

Imperial woman

Imperial woman, stay away from me
Imperial woman, mama let me be
Don't come here blasting around my door
I don't want to see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin' old with you
Now woman, I said stay away
Imperial woman, listen what I say
Imperial woman, get away from me
Imperial woman, mama let me be
Don't come here blasting around my door
Don't want to see your shadow no more
Dark Side can hypnotize
Corrupt someone else's eyes
Now woman, I said get away
Imperial woman, listen what I say
Imperial woman, I said get way
Imperial woman, listen what I say
Don't come here blasting around my door
Don't want to see your face no more
I don't need your war machines
I don't need your evil scenes
Dark Side can hypnotize
Corrupt someone else's eyes
Now woman, get away from me
Imperial woman, mama let me be
Go, gotta get away, gotta get away, now go go go
I'm gonna leave you, woman
Gotta leave you, woman
Bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye
You're no good for me
I'm no good for you
Gonna look at you right in the eye
Tell you what I'm gonna do
You know I'm gonna attack
You know I'm gonna blow
Your Death Star
You know its gonna blow, woman
I'm gonna blow it, woman
Goodbye, Imperial woman
Goodbye Imperial chick

 

Send in the Clones
*********************
JANGO:
Aren't we a team?,
Isn't this fun?
I'll fight Obi-Wan on the ground,
You in Slave I
Glad you're my clone
I think we've been tracked.
Asteroid field.
Boba my son,you're the best,
you knocked out his shield!
Glad you're my clone.
Glad you're my clone.

Dooku has called, so we go there
Making my entrance again with my usual flair
Boba I know that one day this ship will be yours
Wish I could stop - hitting the doors

Don't trust the force,
Jedi we fear
Mace has a saber ignited,
this will end here.
But where are my clones?
My son is a clone
Please send in my clones

BOBA:
What a surprise,
Losing his head.
I'll take my revenge on you now that Jango is dead
Now I will vow that I'll see that you Jedi will die
Taking his armor, try not to cry...

DOOKU:
Isn't it rich, Clone wars begun
This was my planning but it's far from done

BOBA:
And where are the clones?
Quick send my dad's clones.

YODA:
They're already here.

 

Where's that Hanel guy?
We got great stuff going on here....


To the tune of: GREASE - You're The One That I Want

You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
****************************
LUKE:
I am Luke.
I sit here frying
on this planet Tatooine.
Whine to my Uncle
and I'm cryin'
it's not fair - I'm dying!

NARRATOR TWILEK GIRLS(TRIO):
But if you look up,
you will see a girl
in a ship that's out in space.
She's under attack
because she had the plans
now Darth Vader's in her face.

LEIA:
No hope left, no hope left -I'll send R2.

LEIA & GIRLS:
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo, oo, help me.
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo,oo, help me.
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo, oo
my only hope.

GIRLS (TO LUKE):
(old Ben you dope!)

LUKE:
I am filled
with emotion
for this princess I don't know,
I will have to find some lotion.
Dry hands you know...

OBI-WAN:
We better start now,
I can train you son
I will make you a Jedi.

LUKE:
You better show me
if you're gonna prove
that your force ain't just a lie.

OBI-WAN:
Huh? Just a sec- Wait! I hear Qui-Gon down inside.

LEIA & GIRLS:
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo, oo, help me.
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo,oo, help me.
You're the Obi-Wan That I Want
(You are -the one I want)
You, oo, oo
my only hope.

GIRLS (TO LUKE):
(old Ben you dope!)

 

HA! These are great! Keep it up, guys!

 

Ok, it's a quicky....

In the Chill of Carbonite

In the chill of Carbonite
It held me, held me tight
'And you love, love me so
And I said, I know
In the chill of Carbonite
In the chill of Carbonite

I remember (I remember) that torture guy (I remember)
The shocks (I remember) were bright above (I remember)
I'll hope (I remember) and I'll pray (I remember)
To keep your precious love

So before the cold
Hold me again
With all of your might
In the chill of Carbonite
In the chill of Carbonite

 

Hee hee hee...

I think I'll give this thread another boost to the top with this little ditty I realised I wrote the lyrics to a while ago:

Rebel Rebel as sung by Darth Vader (about Leia)

You've sent my droids to Obi Wan
In a second, you?re home is gone
Leia, your hair's alright
Leia, you know how to fight
Luke found you, and set you free
That?s the way it had to be
You blasted out the garbage hatch
Too bad, girl, there ain?t no latch
Han likes you, you know it?s true
Who knows what that pilot will do?

Rebel Rebel, why won?t you confess?
Rebel Rebel, what?s with that dress?
Rebel Rebel, how could I know?
Princess?my daughter? whoah!

You won?t confess, what?s with that dress
My own daughter leads the Rebellion?s best
You've got your transmission and your live wire
You got your cue line and a handful of pilots
You wanna be there when they blow up my base
And you won?t give in
Because you?re Skywalker kin
But you were hid long ago
So how could I know?
I said, how could I know?
So you are gonna go
Calamity's child, chi-chile, chi-chile
Go on with Solo
I would be proud of you, and your twin brother too,
But you blew up my base
And now there ain?t a trace
No there ain?t a trace,
And how could I know?

 

Anyone else?

 

I second that, DarthBreezy... Anyone else have some more parody song lyrics?

 

I'd like to get my naked ass whipped by an Imperial woman in uniform.

 

Guys, guys, GUYS! You forgot CAN YOU FEEL THE FORCE TONIGHT.

-JSD

 

I'd prefere you feel Shorty's shorty tonight

 

I don't have the lyrics, but I have a couple of titles, so if you want to write the lyrics it's all up to you,guys!!!!

Always look on the Dark Side of Force (parody to Always look on the brigt side of life by Monty Python) Maybe Vader and Good Old Palps singing that one together???

Simpathy for the Jedi (Simpathy for the devil,The Rolling Stones) I don't know who could sing this one, all yours...

 

Is there a site that plays the songs so you can hear the song being played?

 

Hmmmm... Could it be Darth Vader had a little bit of Sympathy for the Jedi? I suppose it's possible, and would go with the demonic music...

Just a suggestion. I don't really know the song well enough to do parody lyrics for it myself.

 

This thread must go UP!

 

To the Tune of "Trouble" from
The Music Man


Ya Got Trouble
Obi-Wan: Well, ya got trouble, my friends.
Right here, I say trouble right here in Water City

Why, sure, I'm a Jedi Knight
Certainly mighty proud to say,
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider the hours I spend with a sabre in my hand are golden
Help you cultivate force sense and a cool head and a keen eye
Did ya ever try and take a lightsabre underwater
and then try to use it?

But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and
midicholorians to be a Jedi
I say that any boob can clone a man for an evil use
And he must be Sith,
the first big step on the road to the depths of the dark side-
I say, first- lifting up skirts with the force, then stealing hotrods
And the next thing you know your Padawan is using force lighting to light his cigarettes
And destroying some moisture farms
Hear him tell about dreams about Death Stars
Not a nice old Wamprat shooter, no, but a thing that can destroy an ENTIRE PLANET
Like to see some Ewok's fuzzy face getting squashed out flat?
Make your blood boil, well I should say

Now, folks, let me show you what I mean
You got one, two, three, four, five, six boosters for your spaceship
Boosters that make the Slave I go with Jango and Boba
With a capital 'B' and that rhymes with 'C' and that stands for 'CLONE'

And all month long, your Water City clones'll be simmerin' away
I say, your new clones'll be simmerin'
simmerin' in the tubes till they can be chamberized, too
Having dreams of the rockets

Never mind makin' robots better or making peace with the federation
Never mind doing your own dirty work for yourself but
A clone is known as disposable property and that's trouble

Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the clones in Mandalorian armor,
dumb ones firing at civill-i-ans too.
Ya got trouble, folks, right here in Water City
with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'C' and that
stands for 'CLONE'

Now I know all you folks just following orders
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on
while they're marchin' around their halls
They'll be listenin' to Devo, listenin' to Enya,
tellin' all the Gungan jokes they can think of
And braggin' all about how they're a much better shot
than the droids ever were
Now one fine night they leave Kamino
headin' for the asteroid belt
Charismatic Sepratists looking for a quick fight
Sign them up instead of your son, your daughter
into the army of the enemy of the federation!
Friends, a copied brain is easy prey or so I've found! Trouble!


Kaminoans: Oh, we got trouble

Obi-Wan: Right here in Water City

Kaminoans: Right here in Water City

Obi-Wan: With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'C' and that
stands for 'CLONE'

Kaminoans: That stands for CLONE

Obi-Wan: We surely got trouble

Kaminoans: We surely got trouble

Obi-Wan: Right here in Water City

Kaminoans: Right here

Obi-Wan: Gotta stop this Sidious from ma-king us his "tool"

Kaminoans: 'trouble'

Obi-Wan: Taun We, and Lama Su,
heed this warning before you can't
I chased Zam Wesell through Coruscant.
My friend Dexter told me of you
The dart gave him the clue.
Now I'll take the clones with no fuss
Or my name's not SIDO-DIAS
Do you want to be like Toonbuck
from Count Dooku's group?
Are certain words creeping into your conversation?
Words like... rebels?
And... 'you assume too much'?

Well if so, my friends...

Ya got trouble

Kaminoans: Oh, we got trouble

Obi-Wan: Right here in Water City

Kaminoans: Right here in Water City

Obi-Wan: With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'C' and that stands for 'CLONE'

Kaminoans: That stands for CLONE

Obi-Wan: We've surely got trouble

Kaminoans: We surely got trouble

Obi-Wan: Right here in Water City

Kaminoans: Right here

Obi-Wan: That Chancellor Palpatine sent me to enforce the rules.
Oho, we got trouble
We're in terrible, terrible trouble
There's things, the clones won't ever get to learn in school

Kaminoa