Man Rules: The "Good Game" butt slap

I was watching a basketball game when my son spotted the prodigious butt slap exchanged between two players. The poor boy, unfamiliar with this common male bonding expression didn't know what to make of it. As I proceeded to explain things to him, it occurred to me that there could well be others who do not understand this important ceremonial exchange and how best to execute it under the man rules.

Man Rules: Chapter VI, Sporting Events

Paragraph III: The "Good Game" butt slap

Following completion of a particularly impressive display of atheletic prowess or courage on the field, players from either team may congratulate the athlete in question with a non-verbal tap on the buttocks. This following guidelines are provided to ensure no confusion exists as to the meaning of this action:

1. The tap must be brief, preferably no greater than one second of contact between the hand and the buttock. Under no circumstances should the palm come to rest on the buttock of another player.

2. The contact must be open-palmed.

3. Do not "cup" your palm during the event.

4. Do not make direct eye contact.

5. No verbal communication should be exchanged during contact other than the two words "Good" and "game", preferably connected into a single, terse statement.

6. Make every attempt to make the exchange inconspicuous. It is often best to immediately return to the game as far away from the location of the contact as quickly as possible, pretending that no such exchange took place.

7. The receiver of a "good game butt slap" shall not, under any circumstances, acknowledge receipt of the accolade.

Correct:

[image=http://blog.killervirgo.com/uploaded_images/robertsgreenbuttpat-730794.jpg]

Incorrect:

[image=http://boortz.com/images/football_butt_slap.jpg]

Just plain wrong:

[image=http://www.towleroad.com/images/2007/04/06/buhner_butt.jpg]

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Questions? I'm here to help. Also, if you have recommendations for amendments to this section of the man rules, please post them here.

 

You need to start a training camp to teach the correct to do this, so as to avoid anymore, uncomfortable, situations.

 

How about the following topics:


1. How to get from here to there.
2. Personal hygiene rules.
3. Dishes.
4. Dating bases
5. Other dating rules, such as dating friends exes, friends sisters, etc...

 

I don't do this because

1) I don't play many sports
2) I am not gay

 

That last pic is just wrong.

 

Where do you draw the line of acceptable use? Is when someone gets onomonopoea in Scrabble an acceptable use? In which games is this acceptable?

 

These are excellent suggestions. Do you think there is general confusion among the male populace and I should highlight the man rules on these issues?

 

You need to add the butt slap rules for coed sports too.

EDIT: I think there is enough reason to set the younger population of the JCC straight in these rules since in these days and times many of them will not get the information from their own fathers.

 

Aren't they pretty much the opposite of the rules he posted?

 

Only if you want a knee in your crotch.

 

Since I usually play Scrabble sitting down, if Souderwan was my teammate and wanted to congratulate me with a buttslap he would have to actually jam his hand in a rather inappropriate fashion under the buttocks awfully close to my sensitive regions.

Not only would I not find this unacceptable, a restraining order would likely be in his near future.

Also, this is why Jim Tressel's Buckeyes are gonna lose to Michigan. You'd never see Lloyd Carr pulling an ambiguous stunt like that.

 

Brian thank you for explaining man rules to the masses. However there is one rule the male populace is also less knowledgeable in. You should go over male bathroom rules. Specifically urinal rules. Too many people violate those rules on a regular basis, it is up to you to educate them.

 

All you need to know.

 

Man, if not for me, what would you post about?

The afternoon's rousing Battleship! tournament?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-W5rBZr0Bc

 

Here is a simple test for you.

 

Its easy if you know what you're doing.

 

Sadly, not enough people know what they're doing.

 

I passed the urinal test. So just in case I wake up one morning and find I've unaccountably turned into a man, I'm all good.

I'm still so going for the pepper spray if someone grabs my ass, though, "good game" or not.

 

Looks like he's digging for a wedgie.

 

I passed. Does that mean I'm a good bathroom user?

 

I propose an Ammendment saying that only one (1) tap is acceptable. No multi-tapping.