New ROTS Script based on rumors

Here's the first part of a screenplay based on both Rebel Scum and Ternian's repective outlines. Here's part 1:

Star Wars: Episode III ? Revenge of the Sith





Story by George Lucas

Screenplay by Daultay Dofine/Haradrim Organa

Title Card: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

EXT. SPACE

A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the main title, followed by a ROLLUP which crawls into infinity.

For three years the GREAT
CLONE WAR has ravaged the galaxy.
Starvation and misery stalk
countless worlds.

Although near defeat, COUNT
DOOKU and his Confederacy of
Independent Systems have
masterminded the capture
of SUPREME CHANCELLOR PALPATINE.

With the mighty Armada of the
Republic behind them, Jedi
Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi
and Anakin Skywalker pursue
Dooku and his sinister agents
across the galaxy...

PAN DOWN to reveal a magnificent BATTLE over the atmosphere of CORUSCANT. Hundreds of REPUBLIC VENATOR-CLASS STAR DESTROYERS, JEDI DELTA 7?s, and CLONE STARFIGHTERS clash as they fight SEPARATIST TRI-FIGHTERS, CRUISERS, and VULTURE DROIDS. Leading the Confederate fleet is the INVISIBLE HAND, the flagship of the Trade Federation. The Republic is lead by the JUROR, commanded by the newly appointed ADMIRAL BAIL ORGANA.

A Star Destroyer heads over the camera, and two JEDI STARFIGHTERS exit the underbelly. They fall past a WALL of SEPARATIST CRUISERS trying to escape the blockade. PILOTING the Jedi Fighters are OBI-WAN KENOBI and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

The fighters fly through the frantic battle completing a frantic series of loops and turns. The blast several Droid Fighters out of the sky.

INT. OBI-WANS?S FIGHTER
Obi-Wan Kenobi is now a Jedi Master, and a member of the Council. R4-P17 is his astromech droid. He grimaces as debris from enemy fighter craft nearly misses his fighter.

OBI-WAN
Careful, Anakin. There are too many droid fighters; we?re running out of room.

Anakin?s voice comes over Obi-Wan?s comm-link.

ANAKIN
(over comm-link)
Speak for yourself, Obi-Wan...

INT. ANAKIN?S FIGHTER
Anakin, a full Jedi Knight, bears the scars and marks of a long and bitter war. R2-D2 is attached to his wing.

ANAKIN (CONT?D)
Remember, more droids means more targets.

INT. OBI-WAN?S FIGHTER
OBI-WAN
No, more droids means more ways to get killed. Focus your mind, my young Jedi.

INT. ANAKIN?S FIGHTER
ANAKIN
I told you not to call me that! I?m not your Padawan anymore.

OBI-WAN
(over comm-link)
No, but you still have much to learn.

EXT. SPACE
Wings of Tri-Fighters are released from a FEDERATION CORESHIP. They attack the Republic fleet, suddenly discharging their boosters and charging forward.

INT. PLO KOON?S FIGHTER
ANAKIN
(to Obi-Wan, over comm-link)
I passed the trials, and I demand that you - -

PLO KOON
This may not be the best time for this discussion.

Blaster blots rock Plo Koon?s fighter.

PLO KOON
We have incoming fighters!

INT. OBI-WAN?S COCKPIT
PLO KOON (CONT?D)
(over comm-link)
Repeat, incoming fighter craft.

EXT. SPACE
Tri-Fighters race at the Jedi. They pick them off, as a SQUAD of CLONE FIGHTERS and Jedi Fighters enters the fray.

INT. BLY?S FIGHTER
BLY
(into comm-link)
This is Commander Bly. We have to stop those fighters from breaching the blockade.

ANAKIN
(over conm-link)
Hey, Bly...I?ll bet you I can reach the Federation Flagship before you even scramble your squad.

BLY
You?re on...Master Jedi.

EXT. SPACE
Anakin plows into the on-coming enemy fighters.

INT. ANAKIN?S COCKPIT
Red lights blink on as enemy fire approaches. ANAKIN looks towards R2.

ANAKIN
Hang on, R2. We?ve got company.

R2 lets out a loud whistle.

EXT. SPACE
As the two fleets clash, several Jedi Starfighters are destroyed.

INT. ANAKIN?S FIGHTER
ANAKIN
Whoa!

INT. INVISIBLE HAND ? BRIDGE
COUNT DOOKU paces, surrounded by NEIMOIDIAN TECHNICIANS and BATTLE DROIDS. Two WARANCA aliens, GEAN WALOK and LESI TOOR, coordinate fleet operations, watching a large viewscreen. A Technician, TEY GALN, tu

 

Obi-wan "arresting" Dooku when he has his lightsaber drawn? You are beinga arrested for using the darkside? You have the right to remain silent? Obi-wan's not a cop, he's a JEDI. Anakin/Dooku duel WAAAY too short. Dooku suddenly explaining everything all at once, just to tie up Episode 2's loose ends? Didn't both Pablo and Josh say the Syfo-Dyas explanation is NOT in Episode 3? Dooku not feeling betrayed that he is bout to die, that his master tricked him?

Just too much wrong with this.

But thanks for the great effort!

 

Too much free time on your hands.

I didn't like it.

 

The scene with Obi-Wan using "cop talk" was meant to be sarcastic. It was showing that Anakin is a rouge, while Obi-Wan has become very by-the-book and practical. It was also meant to be incongrious, as you don't often hear Obi-Wan, or any Jedi for that matter, speaking like cops.

As for the Syfo-Dyas explanation, not including it was one of the stranger decisions made by Lucas during the production of Ep.3. It just confused the average person, and even the fans, spent three years debating it. Now, it just ignore it doesn't make any sense. Besides, I'm trying to depict ROTS as it was written, not as it will appear on-screen, (hence the cut "liquid fuel" scene).

And as for having too much spare time, this is my second or third time posting on this message boards. How much time have you devoted it it?

 

sounds as crappy as AOTC. It probably is the real script then.

 

If this were the Gong Show you would have been GONGED by the second paragraph. Nice try though.

 

I just didn't like how Ani and Obi were bickering, contrary to reports that Ani and Obi are good friends at the beginning.

 

Lucas thought they were good friends in AOTC.

 

Fake.

Nothing to see here move along...

 

I never claimed it was real. If you actually read it, you can see that I wrote it.

 

Did Josh give you this script?

RB

 

See my last post.

 

What is a "FORCE RUN"?

DMR_35

 

In The script of Episode I, there is a scene where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon use the force to dash down the hall. That's a force run.

 

Impressive, most impressive.

 

Could use a script doctor. Other then the ... ah ... fun dialogue, it's okay.

Hell, I guess it fits with AOTC and TPM, but still ....

Thanks for posting, either way. Something to read.

 

A well written effort, sir, I enjoyed reading your interpretation of the opening act of this film. Do not listen to those others who tend to criticise things they cannot do themselves. Not everyone has the ability to be creative when they write, and, as one writer to another, I salute you, sir.


CW

 

But are you really, truly, deeply, a writer? Or are you a liar, sir? A liar!!!!


Or maybe just a writer?

 

I didn't like it...


I didn't like the word 'ravaged' either.











better not waste more time on part 2......jk














nice 'try'...

 

I think it is very well written. Some of the explanations are rushed, but that didn't make it horrible. I can't wait for the rest. I got chills when Dooku says "You're next". Damn, that was good. Also, I thought the banter between Anikan and ObiWan was rather good. Very funny.

 

people, be a little nicer. if u cant say something nice, dont say anything at all.

 

Thanks for the comments.

 

I liked it.

I just think everyone is a little too anxious for the real deal

 

I thought it was good,ppeople who slag fan scripts off should try and write one for themselves to see how hard it is,look forward to part 2

 

Nice effort Harad.