Requiem for a Padawan: A Jedi Apprentice Fanfic

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? That's what I thought.

The Bad News: Well, apparently the server didn't like Chapter Eight because after I posted it late last night, it ate my thread during the server crash. So the original "Requiem for a Padawan" is gone

The Good News: I haven't been writing my story directly online because I didn't trust the server. I write offline and then copy and paste the text. With the deletion of my original thread, my fears have been justified. I am quite glad that I was careful. I have the entire story saved on my computer So, I am going to respost it here now (including the new Chapter Eight)

 

Requiem for a Padawan

Chapter One

Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn struggled to stifle a yawn. It was late, but he was still busy training his Padawan. They would have to end the lesson soon, as night was falling on Coruscant. He had watched as the sunbeams that danced and fell like cascading waves during the day had given way to twilight, and then to shimmering blackness, only punctuated by the bright stars held aloft in the sky. He loved the amazing views that only the Jedi Temple could offer, and tonight had been no exception.

Today?s lesson had been one of patience. He had instructed his apprentice to sit completely still, with his attention only on the moment, only on his surroundings. The act of waiting often was much harder than taking action, so this exercise was to impress upon his student the importance of being truly aware, so he could take the correct action when the time was right. Only true calm would let his student be knowledgeable about the intentions of the Force, only when his spirit was at rest would it speak to him. Meditation and focus were important aspects of a Jedi.

True to form, his Padawan was passing with flying colors. The Jedi Master had not seen him move a centimeter since they had entered the training room earlier in the day. Qui-Gon was impressed with his student?s level of control. Unfortunately, Qui-Gon was no apprentice, and his mind had been free to wander. Inexplicably, his thoughts kept returning to his last Padawan.

He still regretted losing him. It shouldn?t have happened. All that time wasted, all those lessons, all for nothing. He should have seen that the boy could never be a Jedi; he should have seen the anger in him for what it was. The Dark side had too great a grip on him. He could not be redeemed or reclaimed, but he still haunted Qui-Gon. Something was there, crying out for him to examine the events again, no matter how he tried to banish the memory of his former student from his mind. Something that would not go away...

But that was in the past, frozen and irreversible. Qui-Gon shook his head to clear himself of the memory. He sighed. It was still so painful...no. He would not look back. He would focus himself on the here and now, as he often chastened his Padawan. Looking across the room, Qui-Gon smiled at the nineteen year old boy that was his apprentice, the quick learner, the eager student. He motioned to the boy, and called out his name.

?Mikel. The lesson is over. Come now. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.?

?Yes, Master.? Mikel grinned, his smile showing both the immense respect he had for Qui-Gon, and his relief at the fact that he could now move without reprimand. He quickly jumped to his feet, and followed his master out of the room.

 

In the early morning, the sun gleamed off of the polished exterior of the Jedi Temple. Qui-Gon, who was awake and dressed, sat alone in quiet meditation in his room. Once again, he admired the spectacular view that greeted him, the living watercolor painting that flowed across the horizon. He knew that his Padawan wouldn?t be awake for at least a half an hour, which gave him time to prepare himself for the coming day. Midday yesterday, he had been told that he and his student were to leave on a new mission the next day by Master Windu. He had also been instructed to meet with Master Yoda before he and his apprentice left, as all Qui-Gon knew about the coming mission from Windu was the fact that it, like so many others, would be dangerous. He guessed that it was a problem that had come up at the last minute, one that was urgent, or he would have been informed earlier.

Idly, he stared out the large bay windows in his room and thought about his new Padawan. His name was Mikel Dupre. He was 19, and in the short time they had been together, they had bonded quickly. Mikel was very much like himself, in tune with the Living Force and the moment. He was human and nearly as tall as his master, with bright gold hair, a light brown tan, and dark, earth colored eyes. Even at his age, Mikel was a very graceful fighter, and a thoughtful, calm person. He had a serenity unusual for his age and a demeanor composed of acceptance. Such a change from....from...

Silently, Qui-Gon reprimanded himself. It had happened again. Would he never be free of him? Here he was, about to start a new mission that would require all of his strength and concentration, and he was dwelling on the past. Again. No matter what he did, every day his thoughts returned to his last Padawan. The boy who was gone to him. Qui-Gon ruefully realized that taking another Padawan immediately after his last had been an excellent idea. He needed to recover, to forget. He would need Mikel?s strength and serenity to banish the dark thoughts that hung around him like a shroud. Still, a part of him insisted that he had not needed a new apprentice. Something demanded that he be tortured and remember. Something that urged him to reexamine his thoughts. Something that said if only...

Qui-Gon shook his head to dispel the obsessive thoughts that chilled him, and got up from the floor. Exiting the room, he forced himself to be calm and controlled. He would not think about that! In the quite morning, Qui-Gon walked through the silent halls of the temple and headed to Master Yoda?s room. He walked quietly but quickly, covering the terrain swiftly with his large strides, aware that Yoda would not want to be keep waiting.

He found Yoda standing in the middle of the room, ready for him. Qui-Gon bowed deeply, and looked into Yoda?s questioning eyes.

?My Master?? he asked.

Yoda smiled softly, calm radiating from his small body. ?Yes, Qui-Gon. A briefing about your mission I have.?

Qui-Gon spoke in an even voice. ?I am ready, Master.?

Suddenly Yoda?s disposition changed completely. Gone was the strict task master, but what had replaced it? Friendliness? Compassion? Pity? ?Ready, hmm? What know you of ready? Think you are not, I do.? The words themselves were harsh, but the old Jedi Master spoke them as a kind whisper. His eyes reflected sympathy back to Qui-Gon.

What? Qui-Gon was confused and slightly alarmed. ?Master?!!? he asked.

Yoda took a deep breath. He spoke quietly, ?Planet where your mission is, ready for it not are you. Azure it is.?

Azure. Shock gripped Qui-Gon. Time stopped. He froze, his brain turning the word over and over. What was that place? Azure. He couldn?t comprehend its meaning. Azure. Azure...Azure? He didn?t know the place, he didn?t know the place, he didn?t know- Azure! Horribly, recognition washed over Qui-Gon and held him in its icy grip. Azure! Not Azure, not there. No. No! NO! No no no no nononononono! Not the very place he had tried to banish from his mind! Where he had been

 

Chapter Two

Under a now clear sky, the tepid midmorning wind flowed around the Jedi Temple, encasing the building in a warm blanket. As he walked, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn suddenly noticed that it was a beautiful day, with the sun brightening all of the structures of Coruscant. Just ahead, the gray, boxy, and rather small transport ship was ready for them. While Qui-Gon approached, he could see that Mikel was waiting for him near the ship?s entrance, ever calm and controlled, quite unlike Qui-Gon at the moment.

It had taken all of his resolve and skill in the Force not to respond violently to Master Yoda?s instructions. He had been shocked at the sheer power of his feelings; after hearing that his and Mikel?s destination would be Azure, he had wanted to scream at Yoda, throw himself at him, and beg him not to make himself return there. Instead, he had managed to bow his head and quietly respond, ?Yes, Master.? After studying Qui-Gon?s reaction, Yoda had merely raised one eyebrow slightly in response. Then abruptly his demeanor had changed back once again to one of pure business. Qui-Gon had received the rest of the information he would need and respectfully left the elderly Jedi Master.

As he approached Mikel, his Padawan hurried towards Qui-Gon, raising a hand to shield his mahogany colored eyes from the intense sunlight. His bright golden hair shown under the sun?s rays. Once he reached his Master, Mikel bowed respectfully at Qui-Gon and opened his mouth to speak. ?Master, I have everything prepared for our departure. We are ready to leave immediately. The pilot only needs to be informed of our destination.? He then looked expectantly at Qui-Gon.

Pleased with Mikel?s efficiency, Qui-Gon smiled at his new apprentice. ?Our destination is Azure, young Padawan,? he informed the boy.

Mikel showed no recognition at the planet?s name, and simply nodded. ?Yes, Master,? he replied. He then ran into the ship to tell the pilot, leaving Qui-Gon near the transport?s outer hatch. The Jedi Master entered the ship, and headed directly towards what would be his quarters for the trip. Mikel was more than capable of overseeing their departure from Coruscant, and Qui-Gon needed to focus now more than ever.

Upon entering the room, he lowered himself to the floor, and drew into a meditation pose. Purposely, Qui-Gon let his breathing relax, in order to calm his body and organize his mind. From the outside, he appeared peaceful, at one with the galaxy. Inwardly, he was furious. Initially his anger had been directed at Yoda and the whole Jedi Council for even suggesting that he return to Azure, not to mention ordering him to do it. However, that had faded quickly. After hearing Yoda?s words, Qui-Gon had to agree that he was the most qualified for this mission, no matter what had happened the last time he had visited there.

As he shifted slightly, Qui-Gon accepted the fact that he knew that he had to contain his fury; as a Jedi, he could not let it control him. Anger only leads to the Dark side, he reminded himself. He needed to accept his own rage. He had to move on. But now, when his eyes were closed and his body relaxed, his anger fixated on its true target. While the pain, the sense of loss, and the irrational belief that things could be different had not in the least diminished, one aspect of Qui-Gon?s grief continued to grow in strength: pure anger, directed at the one who had wasted six years of Qui-Gon?s life, the one who had gained his absolute trust only to break it, the one who had embraced the utter darkness within his own heart, the one who had dared to laugh at him as he ripped out Qui-Gon?s soul.

Damn Obi-Wan.

 

Chapter Three

Late afternoon on Coruscant meant that the sun?s rays were slowly deepening into darkness. Soon the sun would fade away as the day drew to a close, and night would begin. Somewhere not too far away from the Jedi Temple, one young man headed home alone. But he didn?t want to think about that.

Obi-Wan Kenobi unlocked the door to his small apartment and headed into his bedroom. He took off his boots, and slowly removed the plain robe, tunic, and pants he wore. The robe was brown while the tunic and pants were a light beige. They were the first thing he had purchased after he rented the small apartment. He had gone to the nearest clothing store, quickly picked them out, and paid for them. It wasn?t until Obi-Wan had returned home that he noticed that he had chosen the exact same tree bark and cream colors that had been his Jedi robes. But he didn?t want to think about that.

He looked at his nearly empty apartment. Obi-Wan hadn?t bothered to decorate it. There wasn?t any point in doing so. He didn?t have to stay here. He didn?t have to live on Coruscant. He could go anywhere in the galaxy, visit anyone he wanted. He shook his head softly. He didn?t want to be around other people. Obi-Wan rarely spoke now, even when addressed directly. He hadn?t talked to anyone in the last week. But he didn?t want to think about that.

Before laying his tunic into a drawer, he removed the change he had kept there for the day. Although he had very little of it, money wasn?t a problem. With some difficulty, he had found and managed to get a job as a janitor at a nearby apartment complex. Apparently the maintenance droids for the building were in need of repair, and even when they were functioning they weren?t very reliable. He worked five days a week for eight hours a day doing mind numbing cleaning work. Obi-Wan was glad that he didn?t have time to do anything else but work at his job. All he did was work. But he didn?t want to think about that.

After he changed into his pajamas, he immediately lied down on his bed only to remember that he had to lock the door to his apartment. This wasn?t the Jedi Temple, he reminded himself; he wasn?t safe here.

On the way back from locking the outside door, Obi-Wan passed the sole piece of decoration that graced one of the walls in what passed for his living room. The full length mirror that came with the apartment was suspended right next to the door to his bedroom. He glanced at it, and then stopped right in front of it, a look of utter confusion on his face. What, he wondered. Who is that? Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. It wasn?t him. Obi-Wan turned around, only to see the empty room before him. Slowly, he turned back towards the mirror. No, he thought. I?m wrong. It can?t be...I don?t look like that! But there was no denying that it was him. As he met his own blank eyes in the mirror, Obi-Wan didn?t recognize himself. He looked in shock at the stranger standing there. He looked dead. His skin was a unhealthy pale color, and dark black circles hung under his eyes. His brown hair was matted and unkempt. There was no color in his face, no life in his body. Obi-Wan could see sickness written into his features. He held up a bony hand to examine his face while his eyes looked back at him with a dull empty sheen, lacking any recognition. What had happened to him? Who was he? Through the mirror, Obi-Wan noticed that his pajamas were much too big for him, almost to the point of falling off his body, yet they had fit only two months ago. Was that man in the mirror truly him? Why was he so angular? Was he really that thin? Obi-Wan needed to remember to eat. He had forgotten again today. He wasn?t ever hungry at all now...

He wanted to go to bed, but he continued to stare as his gaunt reflection in the mirror. Obi-Wan admitted to himself that he knew he was sleeping way too much, usually 15 hours a day. Get up, go to work, come back, sleep, he thought. That?s my day. Without thinking, Obi-Wan fingered his Padawan braid while he look

 

Chapter Four

Day had dawned on Coruscant and slowly settled into late morning. Light radiated outward from the sun and danced over the multiple buildings off into the horizon. It was another lovely day, just as clear as the previous one.

In his small apartment somewhere near the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan Kenobi awoke abruptly. One minute he was completely asleep, the next he was wide awake in his bed. Obi-Wan yawned and stared at the ceiling. He wanted to go back to sleep. He rubbed both eyes with his left arm and sighed in frustration. I can?t go to sleep now, he thought. Not now. I?m not tired enough. He looked down and saw that during the night he had managed to rip all the blankets off of the bed itself and wrap them tightly around his own body. He struggled to untangle himself. Obi-Wan was puzzled. Was I really that cold? He didn?t remember being cold, he told himself as he unwound his bed sheets. Finally he was free and able to drag his body into a sitting position. While he was still weary, he knew that he wouldn?t be able to go back to sleep for a while. He had just slept. Obi-Wan looked around his bedroom in bewilderment. What am I going to do all day? He didn?t have to work...

Suddenly an idea came to him. He needed to get tired enough so he could go back to sleep. Yes, that was it. Relief flooded his face. He could do that. That was a good idea. Obi-Wan wondered what would be the best way to overexert himself. He could exercise, but that could take a while to make him sleepy. Worse yet, he could actually bring his energy level up and then not be able to sleep. Obi-Wan shuddered at the thought. He would not think about that.

He swung his legs over the side of his bed. The dresser that held his one and only set of clothes caught his eye. He could go outside....no. He hated going outside. Obi-Wan only left his apartment to go to work. Nothing else. He would have to get dressed. Then he?d have to walk around, see other people, be near other people, heck, he might even have to talk to someone. Obi-Wan shook his head. It would be very stressful. Hard. But it might tire him enough so he could go to sleep. Obi-Wan took a deep breath. If it could make him sleepy, it would be more than worth it. It had better work. What if it didn?t work? He would not think about that.

His mind made up, Obi-Wan pulled himself off of the bed. He quickly changed into his tunic, pants, and robe, and put on his boots. He grabbed the credits he had placed on the top of the dresser and placed them in a pocket in the inside of his robe. Just in case. Obi-Wan did not trust anyone. He needed to know where his money was. He needed to be able to touch it to reassure himself that it was still there, that it was still okay. I can?t lose it, he told himself. I don?t have enough to lose any. He would not think about that.

Obi-Wan walked through his apartment door and locked it. Then he headed outside. The bright sunlight hurt his eyes. Too much light. It hurts. He brought his right hand up to shield his face. He looked around at the various people walking up and down the busy streets. So many people, so many species. Such variety...he wouldn?t be noticed. That was good. It made him smile. Obi-Wan started walking down the street, going nowhere in particular. He followed the flow of the crowd. As he moved along, Obi-Wan glanced at the various buildings. An office plaza. An apartment complex. A clothing store. A droid vendor.

A cafe. There would be food there. Food. Eat. I should. Obi-Wan frowned. He was not hungry. Not even a little bit. Obi-Wan inhaled slowly. He really ought to eat. He couldn?t remember what he had consumed when he had eaten last, over two days ago. Obi-Wan frowned. He knew he had to do it. But, I just don?t want to, he sighed. Hesitantly, he walked into the cafe. It was rather nondescript, but the patrons inside were lively; most of them were enjoying lunch and the great weather. Obi-Wan succeeded in his attempt to order his meal withou

 

Chapter Five

From the transport ship?s cockpit, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn looked at the orb that spun in front of him like a polished jewel. They had arrived. Azure. It was a small planet near the Outer Rim. According to legend, an ancient race who had been traveling across the galaxy had stopped there briefly and given it the name Azure. Apparently Azure meant meant ?blue? in their language. Qui-Gon shook his head and smiled. It was a nice tale, but he doubted that the story was true. The same myth also said that the ancient race was now extinct. Had the race ever set foot on Azure? Had they ever really existed? Perhaps, but perhaps not. After all, Azure had no native sentient species, and the various colonist groups had argued over who had been the first to reach the planet. In the end, there was no way to know who actually came up with the name.

However, he had to admit that it fit the planet perfectly. Blue. That?s what it was. Azure was a sphere awash in sapphire. He watched the turquoise oceans on the turning globe below him. Over 80% of the planet?s surface was underwater. The small land masses that did exist were all islands of varying sizes, most with a large amount of coastline and lush vegetation. Azure was a warm planet that supported a wide variety of aquatic wildlife. It was a paradise in some ways. The temperate seas, genial winds, and lush beaches attracted many types of people, from tourists to anglers to miners. The people who shared Azure each treasured it for completely different reasons.

Unfortunately, the diversity of Azure was also its weakness. The various groups were nothing but hostile to each other, which made local politics a complete mess. The deep sea mining corporations were opposed to the environmentalists who didn?t care for the tourist industry which despised the fishermen who resented the realtors... Qui-Gon sighed. It went on and on and on. He was not surprised that the Azure government had requested the intervention of the Jedi again. No one on the planet seemed to cooperate. Apparently none of the various camps saw any benefit in even attempting to get along. Each group did not want to appear weak to any of the others, so shouting and threats were what passed for negotiation. The Azure government was always vulnerable in such a violent and hostile environment. No wonder they had been sent on such short notice.

Mikel Dupre was standing next to him, behind the young human male that was the ship?s pilot. Mikel looked well rested and eager for the mission to begin. Qui-Gon stared at his bright yellow Padawan braid. Mikel had been an apprentice since he was eleven years old; his master had been Nor Matt, a wise and 300 year old Jedi Master that Qui-Gon had never met. From what Master Yoda and Master Windu had told him, Mikel and Nor Matt had been a good team. Unfortunately, Master Matt had been an elderly man; 300 years was much more than the average Phurrie lifespan. Sadly, he had died of old age only three months ago. Qui-Gon could sense the lingering pain and sadness that Mikel felt over his old master?s death. It was unavoidable, yet completely regrettable. In one way, Mikel and Qui-Gon were the same. They both had to move on from recent losses in their lives. Qui-Gon beamed inwardly. He was thankful to have an apprentice that he could truly understand. Suddenly, Mikel blinked. He had caught Qui-Gon glancing at him and gave him a soft grin.

?It?s beautiful, isn?t it Master?? Mikel asked, referring to the planet beneath them. His chocolate eyes gleamed.

Qui-Gon gave him a serene look. ?Quite,? he replied. Simultaneously, both Mikel?s and Qui-Gon?s eyes turned forward as they watched the pilot land the ship. Not surprisingly, the actual landing of the transport was as uneventful as the trip to Azure had been. The pilot landed the ship in the main hanger of Denki Spaceport in Aoi, Azure?s capital city. Qui-Gon and Mikel thanked the pilot and proceeded to exit the transport.

Not more than ten feet away, a representative fro

 

Chapter Six

Night. Stars. Coruscant. The Temple. Window, balcony. Standing. Stay here. Master, inside. Council, Inside. Here, outside, waiting. Worried. Confused. Afraid. Impatient. Been too long. Done. Surprise. Come in. Enter. Council, staring, reading. Not fair, can?t conceal. Not from them. Council, disappointment, pity, contempt. Master Yoda, words, many, long, cruel. Have to have punishment. Failed Jedi. Chosen method. Decision, expel. Final. No. No! Terror. Panic. Dread. Despair. Anger.

?M-M-Master.?

Nothing.

Refuse to accept. Argue. Loud. Fight back. Tried. Cannot! Master, yelling. Ow! Must move. Go. Another floor. Their room. Belongings. Give up. Hand over immediately. Communicator, lightsaber. Clothes. Change now. Have to wear tunic. No robes. Master, waiting outside. Can take pajamas, boots. Put in bag. Find it. Must find it. Secret lightsaber....hide, hide! Hide! Scared. Sad. Eyes, wet. Tears. Can?t hold them back. Don?t want to. Done. Go outside. Master, leaving. Try again. Must succeed. Talk, yell. Can?t believe. Master, stare. No. Didn?t work.

?Master.?

Nothing.

Crying. Can?t stop. Pleading. Imploring. Wrong, wrong! No. Must not go! Shoved, pushed. No choice. Must walk. Hallway. Go. Now. Master, escort. Last try. Have to listen! Have to! Can?t be happening. Wouldn?t do this. Respected. Cared. In denial. Ask. Change it! Make him change it!

?Master??

Nothing.

Entrance. Walk outside, into night. Leave. Go. Never come back. Can?t. Losing. Irrational. Angry. Sobbing. Anxious. Dizzy. Incoherent. Why? Why? WHY? No answers. Master, walking away, heading inside. Fear. Screaming, begging. No. No! Can?t be! Need him! Need him! Belong with him. Run after. Master, turn around, quiet whisper. Eyes, fire. Love gone. Master, turn back, keep going.

?Master!?

Nothing.

Stone. Statue. Frozen. Cold. Standing. Outside. Alone. Isolated. Alone. Apart. Alone. ...broken. No! No no no no nonononononono! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

?MASTER!?

Obi-Wan Kenobi bolted upright in his bed. Another scream died as he regained consciousness, fading into a half choked whisper. ?Master,? he moaned, his head rolling to his left and onto his shoulder. He blinked. His heart hammered inside of his chest while sweat poured off his forehead. His hands shook uncontrollably, pounding at the blankets around him. Rationally, as if he were disassociated from his body, Obi-Wan noticed that he was completely frightened; his senses were all on alert. He had been screaming. Dreaming, he gasped. Nightmare. Again. What about? What had he been yelling? He tried to remember, but suddenly everything was hazy, dark. He couldn?t make the fluid images fall into a coherent order, and he had to admit that he didn?t he really want to. Obi-Wan was afraid of his dreams...but he didn?t want to think about that. Over now, he thought, attempting to calm himself. All over. Okay. Okay now. Wait! No... No. Obi-Wan looked down. The blankets were wrong. This isn?t my bed. A wave of fear rose inside of him and washed over his body. Terrified, he pressed the bed covers against his skin and scanned the room in front of him. Why wasn?t he in his own bed? Where was he? What had happened?

Transport. Obi-Wan?s fear turned into relief almost immediately. Transport ship. Yes. That?s right. Now I remember. Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He had woken up early today, quickly gotten dressed, and haphazardly packed his small brown backpack with his few extra clothes, his lightsaber, and the rest of his credits. Obi-Wan hadn?t wanted to put the lightsaber in there. He didn?t think that he had had a choice though. He couldn?t take the risk of wearing his lightsaber on his belt. He couldn?t take the risk of running into a real Jedi. But he didn?t want to think about that. Then he had left his apartment and headed over to the complex where he worked. Obi-Wan hadn?t ever met his sup

 

Chapter Seven

The bright blue sky hung over the capital city of Azure like a polished chandelier. Glowing rays of sunlight streamed down onto the streets of Aoi, giving even the roads themselves a luminous appearance. It was as though the world was radiating the brilliant beauty of the Living Force itself. The two gray land speeder cars had driven though the city of Aoi and on to the Presidential Palace, located on the outskirts of town in a vast grove of palm trees.

Mikel Dupre leaned his head closer to the window of the land speeder car and peered at the building that was called the Presidential Palace. The sunlight shown through the window and illuminated his yellow hair, making the stands appear as though they were woven from pure gold. Mikel frowned. It was more of a mansion than a palace, really. For more than a minute, he looked intently at the Palace, and then drew away from the window and back to his seat. Yes, definitely a mansion. An unattractive mansion. The industrial brown brick building certainly lacked the grace and beauty that Mikel associated with palaces of any kind. While the flora that surrounded the Palace shown with loveliness, the building itself merely sat there. Intrigued, Mikel wondered why the President had to live and work out of such an ugly building, especially when the rest of the planet?s architecture was so beautiful. Why did they construct it that way in the first place? Political reasons? Was he missing something?

Mikel glanced over at his Master. Qui-Gon Jinn had not spoken to him during the entire ride. He wasn?t surprised. Qui-Gon often mediated when given the opportunity, and he was not a man of idle small talk. Qui-Gon was sitting on his right, serenely watching Aoi?s natural beauty through his window. But under the facade of tranquility, Mikel could sense that something was bothering Qui-Gon. He was certain that he knew exactly what that something was. It couldn?t be anything else. Qui-Gon?s former Apprentice. Mikel ran his tongue over his teeth. What? What was his name again? Obe? Obe-wam? No, that wasn?t it. Mikel sighed softly in frustration. It doesn?t matter what his name is, he chastened himself. It?s not my problem. I don?t have to worry about Kentobe or whatever his name is. Not anymore. Mikel peeked at his Master again. Honestly, he wished that Qui-Gon would move on. He couldn?t spend all his time thinking about what might have been. He had to let go. Unbidden, an image of Nor Matt briefly flashed across Mikel?s mind. Irritated, he forced the impression away. No. He could not think about what might have been either. A sudden bolt of anger rose up in Mikel. They had been together for nearly two months now. Two whole months. Why couldn?t Qui-Gon pay attention to him? Mikel was Qui-Gon?s Padawan. He was here. Qui-Gon?s former Apprentice was not. Why did Qui-Gon dwell on the past?

Mikel?s anger dissipated into a thoughtful frown. Maybe it was a good thing that his Master was otherwise occupied. He hoped that Qui-Gon would not sense the fact that he?d been here before. Mikel didn?t think that he had given any sign of recognition, but he couldn?t be absolutely sure. He swallowed quietly. If Qui-Gon questioned him about it, Mikel would have to come up with a long and tortured explanation of why he hadn?t spoken of his previous trip to the Presidential Palace, not to mention Azure. No, best not to think about the experience he?d had here before. There was no reason to. It was in the past. Over. He did not want to think about that.

The land speeder cars pulled up in front of the Presidential Palace and came to a stop. Ci Miri and her guards exited the first car while the two other guards, Qui-Gon, and Mikel stepped out of the other car. Almost immediately, Miri and her guards made their way up the steep concrete staircase. Qui-Gon hurried to catch up, with Mikel only a step behind him. Eventually the stairs ended, and the group made their way through a set of enormous plain wooden doors. There were two gua

 

Chapter Eight

I.

I...

Bang.

I had...

I had a...

I had a dream...

Bang.

I had a dream last...

I had a dream last night...

I had a dream last night.

Bang.

I had a dream last night?

Bang.

He moved.

Bang.

His arm reached out.

Bang.

His hand brushed against the surface.

Bang.

His knuckles grated across the metal.

Bang.

Bang!

BANG!

Obi-Wan Kenobi blinked. In an instant, he sprang from semiconsciousness to full awareness. Bang. Wha? Bang. What? Bang. What? Bang. What was that? Bang. What was that banging noise? Obi-Wan blinked again and looked across the bed at himself. His jaw dropped. He was completely amazed. What, he asked himself. What? How? What? What have I done?

Obi-Wan was sprawled upside down in his bed, completely dressed, with the covers wrapped so tightly around himself that he couldn?t move anything except his right arm, which held his lightsaber and continued to hit the wall closest to the bed with the hilt. Bang. Bang. Bang, he thought. No! No! What am I doing, he asked himself in horror. No! Stop it! Stop it! Now! Obi-Wan violently jerked his arm away just before he struck the wall again. He pulled his limb back slowly and rested it on the covers in front of him. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Okay. Okay now. Stopped. But why? Why was I hitting my lightsaber against the wall? What have I done? Obi-Wan brought his lightsaber near his face and surveyed its surface. It didn?t appear to be damaged. He didn?t see and cracks or scratches in the metal. Nothing that didn?t belong there. Holding it a safe distance away from his body, Obi-Wan pressed the button. The glowing blue blade shot out, cutting through the dusty air and shining in the dim light of the electrical closet. He examined it for a minute and then shut the blade off. He sighed in relief. Whew. Good. I didn?t break it. I can?t afford to break it. But he didn?t want to think about that.

The wall, however, was not so lucky. Obi-Wan looked over at where he had been hitting it. He winced. He had succeeded in making a large half-open dent in the wall. By repeatedly striking the paneling with his lightsaber in the exact same place, he had ripped through its outer protective layer. Obi-Wan moved his head forward and looked closer. Inside the cut, jagged electrical wiring poked out from where it had been hidden behind metal and layers of insulation. He gazed at the dent. How had he managed to rip a hole in the wall while he was asleep? Why had he been striking the wall with his lightsaber? Why hadn?t he woken up? Obi-Wan bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn?t just leave it there. What was he going to do about it? How can I fix it? An idea popped into his head. If... He looked down at his lightsaber. Could he weld the cut together? He could melt the wall and attempt to mesh the two sides against each other. It might work. Then again, he could just succeed in making a bigger and more noticeable gash. Worse yet, if he wasn?t careful, he could end up cutting though the whole wall. That would be bad. No. He?d better not. It was too big a risk. I wouldn?t be able to do it anyway. Hmmm. Obi-Wan glanced at the wall again. It wasn?t that noticeable, he supposed. You had to know where it was to be able to see it. He looked at the dusty room. The space wasn?t exactly in great condition anyway. It was an auxiliary electrical closet after all. Not many people come in here. No reason to inspect the walls. No. They wouldn?t notice. Would they? But he didn?t want to think about that.

Obi-Wan turned his attention back to the object in his hand. How had he gotten ahold of his lightsaber? Before he went to sleep last night, he had taken it out briefly to inspect it and make sure that it was working, and then he had put it back inside his bag. He looked at his backpack in the corner of the room. It looked the same as it had last night, as if Obi-Wan hadn?t tampered with it. He swallowed. This was dangerous. He could not use

 

Bang.

Obi-Wan froze. His eyes snapped open as his lightsaber fell from his grasp and dropped onto the floor, skidding to a stop near his backpack.

Bang.

He turned around frantically and stared at the wall and then at his empty hand.

Bang.

No. No! It wasn?t him! It wasn?t him-it wasn?t him! Was it? WAS IT?

?Hey!?

Bang.

Wide-eyed, Obi-Wan moved his head and looked at the door.

?Hey! You in there??

Slowly, agonizingly, Obi-Wan realized what the banging was. It wasn?t him. Yes. Wasn?t him. Good. It was someone pounding on the door. Someone who was yelling. At him.

?Come on man, open the door!?

Mechanically, Obi-Wan stood up. He had to put his lightsaber in his backpack. I can?t take any chances. I can?t allow anyone else to see it, he thought. As he placed it inside, he noticed that his pajamas were carefully folded inside the bag. He shook his head. At least he was a neat sleepwalker. Obi-Wan stepped over to the door, unlocked it, and opened it a crack. Through the slit, he looked at the person standing there. He?d never seen her before. She was a human in her twenties dressed in a dark green jumpsuit. A mining tool belt hung around her waist. Her orange hair was tightly fastened to her head under a protective helmet. As soon as he had opened the door, he had noticed that her annoyance had given away to bewilderment. Obi-Wan caught her starting at him. He could sense her pity and shock. He frowned. His appearance. It had to be. He could see it in her eyes. He sighed inwardly. Did he really look that bad? No. He didn?t. Not really. Did he? But he didn?t want to think about that.

Abruptly, the woman regained her composure and looked at him coldly. ?We?ve landed on Azure. You need to leave right now.?

Obi-Wan nodded. The woman watched as Obi-Wan picked up his small backpack and left the room. After he walked out, she proceeded to lock the door and then head down the hallway. Obi-Wan stood near the door for a moment and watched her disappear down the corridor. He wondered why the man he had arranged his passage with hadn?t been the person to kick him out. And why didn?t the woman escort him out of the ship? He shrugged. It didn?t matter. Obi-Wan put his arms through the straps of his backpack and hoisted it onto his back. Then he headed down the hallway in the opposite direction. It was dark. How many deserted corners existed down here? While the rest of the ship was in good condition, the maintenance levels left much to be desired. Obi-Wan passed though the various neglected hallways and made his way to the cleaner and more frequented parts of the ship. He headed directly towards the exit. The corridors were quite crowded here, with various people running all over the place and unloading cargo. Obi-Wan could feel the various miners looking at him as he passed. He fixed his eyes straight ahead and kept walking. Arrgh! Why do they have to stare at me? Haven?t they ever seen a rejected Padawan before? He was strongly tempted to put his hood up. He hated being stared at. People always stared at him now. But he didn?t want to think about that.

He finally reached the exit of the transport. Obi-Wan walked through and onto the tarmac of the Denki Spaceport. He could see the sign from here. Good. He was in Aoi. That simplified things. Obi-Wan headed towards the main terminal. From there he could walk downtown. He had to find somewhere to stay. Obi-Wan didn?t want to chance having to sleep out on the street. Especially with the way I?ve been acting... He?d do that first. Then... His gaze scanned the spaceport and landed on a very distant grove of palm trees. There. There it was. Yes. He had to. This is what he had been waiting for. He?d come all the way from Coruscant. The Presidential Palace. He had to go back there. He had to. That?s where they had stayed. That?s where everything had fallen apart. Two months ago. Yes. I?ll go. Soon. I have to. But he didn?t want to think about that.

Obi-Wan walked. Across t

 

Obi-Wan headed towards a booth in the back, far away from the few other people inside. He sat down and forced himself to look directly ahead. He didn?t move. He waited. Slowly, the blurry lines that made up the restaurant solidified into solid forms, and the pain in his head receded. Good. Okay. Okay. Yes. Obi-Wan nearly collapsed in relief. He just needed to rest. Yes. Rest. That was it. Obi-Wan looked down at the glass cradled in his hands. He was curious. What did I choose? What is it? He removed the lid and took a sip. Milk. He used to like milk. He watched the dark blue liquid swirl around inside the glass. Pretty. Obi-Wan closed his eyes. Yes. Better. Much better. Good. I just need a break. Yes, that was it. Obi-Wan rested for a long time. He let his entire body relax and sink into the booth. He consciously willed his muscles to go limp. He slowed his breathing and directed his attention on the Force. He concentrated his entire mind on it. He needed the peace that it could provide. I must be calm, he thought. I need the Force. I need its strength. The next part will be hard. Very hard. I need help. For the first time in two months, Obi-Wan mediated. He kept his entire body still. After a while, he opened his eyes. He felt tired, but well enough to go on. He looked down at his milk. Oh no. Should I finish it? I don?t want to. Obi-Wan sighed. He had paid for it. It was a waste of credits if he didn?t drink it. Grimacing, Obi-Wan drank the rest of the milk. The cool liquid felt foreign to him as it traveled down his throat. Odd. It was getting harder to swallow. He clamped his mouth together and forced the milk down. He wanted to vomit. Again. He sighed. Can?t I eat or drink anything without feeling sick anymore? But he didn?t want to think about that.

It was getting dark. Obi-Wan looked out at the city of Aoi. It was beautiful. He could see the sun setting over the distant ocean. The sea was a rich turquoise that shifted and glimmered under the transparent sky. The gentle wind carefully brushed giant foamy waves onto the white sand of the beach and the seaweed encrusted rocks. He watched the fading sunlight skip from building to building across the city and then disappear completely. It was nearly dusk. The city was now awash in artificial light. Aoi shown like a polished gem. The palm trees lining the streets swayed softly and changed color under the false illumination. It would be night soon. Good. He had to go there in the dark. That would be the safest way. He could not get caught. It wasn?t an option. He couldn?t mess up. Not now. Obi-Wan bit his lip. He didn?t want to go. I really don?t. He wanted to go to back to his hotel room and sleep. He wished that there was some other way. Could he try something else? No. I have to, he told himself. After I came all this way? How can I possibly change anything otherwise? No. I have to go. That?s where we were. I won?t find anything anywhere else. Yes. Obi-Wan stiffened his resolve. Yes. I?d better get going. Now. Obi-Wan got up from the booth and walked out of the restaurant. He turned back onto the street and headed towards the Presidential Palace. He?d have to approach from the back. He could hide in the palm trees. They would provide him with cover until he reached the building. From there he could make his way inside. Yes. He would.

Obi-Wan walked. He traveled through the city and onto the roads leading to the Presidential Palace. It was a very, very long walk. Night had fallen by the time he was even somewhat near the Palace. He stopped and took a deep breath. He could see it in the distance now. This close to the Palace, Obi-Wan couldn?t chance walking directly towards it. He didn?t want to be seen. He would have to circle around to the back through the palm grove. Obi-Wan left the road and disappeared into the trees. The forest was dense. And large. It stretched out in every conceivable direction, the straight trees seemingly running on into

 

Arrggh! These cliffhangers!

I am very happy that you managed to save this story! It is so good!! I love the way you are telling this!

More please....

 

Wow! This story is excellent! I can't wait for more..

Great job so far!

 

I'm glad you were able to repost it. I'd hate to see it lost. There are so many questions. Great story.

 

You've got my attention! Please write more!!!!!!

 

More, more, more!

 

Kithera, I think you're becoming a little too addicted to these stories.. please, try to relax.. Deep breaths, that's right..

 

And I thought no one cared about my writing

 

patience is a virtue . . . patience is a virtue . . .

Awww f((( CENSORED!! ))) patience!! I want more story!!!!

 

Whew, I thought I was going crazy, glad you could repost. Now, how about a little more story?

 

MMMMMMOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Come on, write!!! Don't pull a "Lwyn'nya" on us now!

( to Lwyn'nya)

 

I heard that!

Honestly, Great Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, delaying your posts and making your readers suffer is a trait of the Dark Side. And we all know that the Great Obi-Wan Kenobi would never do something so . . . Sithly

Besides, I WANT MORE STORY!!!!!!!

 

Mmm, such alluring writing with twist of darkness in its midst! Keep writing!

* Crimson `n Sable

[This message has been edited by Crimson & Sable (edited 10-08-1999).]