Rotten Idea of the Week: Kate Beckinsale stars in "Underworld 4"

I'm getting these from RT, but noms from the floor are always acceptable:

#4 WILL SMITH SAYS I AM VAMPIRE

"After starring in I Am Legend, about a world taken over by zombies with vampire-like traits, Will Smith is now set to produce and star in an adaptation that some say is the original vampire: The Legend of Cain. Cain, one of the sons of Adam and Eve, is said to be the first murderer, having killed his brother Abel because he was jealous that Abel was loved by God. Much, much more recently, Cain has been claimed as being the first vampire most notably in the Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying game, and that concept has since been borrowed by some other vampire stories. That's also exactly what the direction that Will Smith's new project will explore. There's no director attached, but the script was written by Caleeb Pinkett (cowriter of the short film The 7th Commandment) and Dan Knauff (writer of episodes of Carnivale and Supernatural), with rewrites by Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center). It's worth noting that in Supernatural, which Knauff wrote one episode of, Dean and Sam Winchester are direct descendants of Cain. This is a borderline Rotten Idea because there are just so many vampire movies both recently released and in the pipeline, that it's difficult to consider the genre "fresh" at this point. However, there's always the possibility that it could turn out to be an interesting project, depending upon what more we hear about it as it proceeds through development."

 

Another Hollyweird idea that's going to "suck" a$$.
Vampires are so three years ago, Mr. Smith.

 

When I saw the title, I at first thought he was pitching a sequel to I Am Legend in which he is one of the infected.

I dunno if or when it'll happen, but Smith is riding for a fall, I think.

 

#1 NEWS TO MAKE YOU FEEL OLD: JESSICA ALBA WILL PLAY A MOM IN A SPY KIDS MOVIE

"Jessica Alba is in talks to star as a mom to the new espionage enthusiast preteens in Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World. Alba's role will be as the mother of a baby and the stepmother of the two children who will be the newest Spy Kids. The new spies are replacing Alexa Vega (now 23, engaged, and totally not looking like a kid) and Daryl Sabara (now 18 and looking a lot like Rob Schneider). Vega, Sabara and Antonio Banderas are expected to return in supporting roles, but there's no word yet about Carla Gugino returning (which is disappointing). Alba's character will also be a retired spy who has recently been reactivated, and the search is on for her husband, a "slightly nerdy investigative reporter." Spy Kids 4 will mark the third time Jessica Alba has worked with Robert Rodriguez (who is writing and directing, as he did with the first three movies), after Sin City and the upcoming Machete. Rodriguez is expecting to start filming in September in Austin, Texas on a budget of less than $30 million. This news is this week's most Rotten Idea for two reasons. First, although the first two movies were definitely Fresh here at RT (93% for Spy Kids, 75% for Spy Kids 2), the franchise continues a downward slide with the 45% given to Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over. More than that, however, Spy Kids 4 news in general is rotten because of the ticking of time (ironic because the villain is "The Time Keeper"). Any time Robert Rodriguez spends making his kids movies like the Spy Kids franchise, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D and last year's Shorts is time he is not devoting to making movies more of us probably want to see, like Sin City 2 and his possibly never-going-to-happen plans for Red Sonja and the adaptation of Mike Allred's crazy comic book series Madman."

 

I love the spy kids movies.

 

Why is this a bad idea? She's nearly 30. I know mothers a decade and more younger than she is.

Any time Robert Rodriguez spends making his kids movies like the Spy Kids franchise, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D and last year's Shorts is time he is not devoting to making movies more of us probably want to see, like Sin City 2 and his possibly never-going-to-happen plans for Red Sonja and the adaptation of Mike Allred's crazy comic book series Madman.

Wah wah boo hoo. He's so busy making movies that he can show his kids that he doesn't have any time for meeeeeeee! If this means we never have to see Rose McGowan as Red Sonja or another loathsome Sin City movie, all the better! I'd love more ridiculous violence from Rodriguez, but it seems childish to begrudge him the movies he makes for the little ones.

 

#1 LIAM NEESON AND MICHAEL CAINE CASH BIG CHECKS FOR BIG, (PROBABLY) DUMB MOVIES

"Although there weren't that many movie news stories this week, two of the biggest announcements have a common theme, and so they are being run together here as the week's most Rotten Idea(s). The common thread here is that of excellent older actors taking on roles that appear to be all about cashing massive checks to costar in movies that appear to otherwise be quite likely "rotten." It's far from a new phenomenon for well-respected actors to take roles like these, but that it continues to happen doesn't make any more of a good idea. Instead, whenever a fine actor appears in a big budget movie, it just seems more often than not sort of like a cash grab. Of course, both of the actors in question this week have done this sort of thing before. First up, there's Liam Neeson, who will be costarring as Admiral Shane in Universal's adaptation of the board game Battleship. The movie about naval forces fighting off an alien invasion also stars Taylor Kitsch (Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine) as Neeson's future son-in-law, newcomer Brooklyn Decker as Neeson's daughter, Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood) and singer Rihanna as a "weapons analyst." Peter Berg (Hancock, The Rundown) is directing from a script by Jon and Erich Hoeber (cowriters of Whiteout and next month's Red). Universal Pictures has scheduled Battleship for a big summer release date of May 18, 2012. Previous movies where Liam Neeson arguably starred in similar "cash grab" movies include Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and the Clash of the Titans remake (where he played Zeus, following Sir Laurence Olivier's similar "cash grab" appearance in the original movie).

Also supplementing his retirement savings account this week is Sir Michael Caine, who will be playing the grandfather role in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, the sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth, loosely based upon another book by Jules Verne. The New Line Cinema sequel stars Josh Hutcherson (reprising his role from the first movie), along with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as his mom's boyfriend. Hutcherson and Johnson's characters will be going to a strange tropical island looking for Caine's character, where the mysteries of the island include a massive hive of giant bees, which were not in Verne's novel, but were included in the previous 1961 movie, animated by monster legend Ray Harryhausen. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is being directed by Brad Peyton (Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore) from a script by Richard Outten (Pet Sematary II) and Bryan and Mark Gunn (cowriters of the direct-to-video Bring It On Again). Sir Michael Caine's most infamous "cash grab" movie is definitely Jaws: The Revenge, which he was so busy filming that he had to film his Oscar acceptance speech for Hannah and Her Sisters from a remote filming location in the Bahamas. Here's hoping that when Liam Neeson and Sir Michael Caine finish filming these big budget movies, they will be able to take some more roles in smaller movies that won't so easily be labelled "Rotten Ideas."

 

If Neeson and Caine want to make money, whatever. The real onus of rotten ideahood is on the people greenlighting these godawful excuses for movies.

 

The idea that Liam Neeson did the Phantom Menace for a big payday is hilarious. Lucas is frugal and careful with his money. He probably paid Neeson well, but not extravagently. I don't think most actors offered a leading role in the first STAR WARS film in 16 years would have turned it down. That erroneous thinking process is typical of the writing of this kind of internet article. What idiots.

I wonder if the entertainment writers at these websitess and magazines were offered $ 800,000 to write a screenplay for say the next Gremlins sequel: Gremlins VI: Gremlins vs. Chucky, if they would turn down the money because it was a "cash grab." I seriously doubt it.

 

He's cool about it; so I don't necessarily agree with this. And Neeson has two orphaned children to support, so lay off.

 

As long as they keep also doing good movies occasionally, I don't see what the problem is.

 

Weird that the article leaves out the big dumb paycheck movie the two actors have in common...

 

Batman Begins?

 

1 KATE BECKINSALE WILL RETURN TO THE BLUE LIGHTS AND DARK SHADOWS OF UNDERWORLD 4

"After taking a break from the franchise in Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Kate Beckinsale will be returning as the vampire warrior Selene in Underworld 4. This will be the first film in the franchise where Beckinsale will not be directed by her husband Len Wiseman (he didn't direct the third film). The original Underworld 4 script was written by John Hlavin, who has written a few episodes of The Shield and also an indie 2009 film called Donkey Punch. That script, however, is being rewritten by Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Strazcynski, whose film credits now also include Changeling and cowriting duties on Ninja Assassin. Although there's no word yet on the premise of Underworld 4, one detail that has been revealed is that the film will feature the new character of Selene's daughter. Screen Gems is planning on releasing Underworld 4 on January 20, 2012. The producers are also currently looking for a director. Underworld 4 is this week's most Rotten Idea based solely on the critical reception of the first three movies; their Tomatometer scores are all rotten at 30%, 15% and 32%."

 

All the Underworld movies are awful. The idea of one written by JMS makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

I thought Beckinsale was only going to be basically a cameo, passing the torch to the daughter character.

 

I've heard of beating a dead horse, but beating a dead franchise?

By the way, will it be in 3D? It will?

Oh, that makes ALLLLLL the difference...