Rudolph is blasphemous!!!!!!!!!

....then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say (ho ho ho) "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"....

Okay, here's my beef. If its foggy out and you are driving in your car, you don't put on your brights because then it will reflect back. You use foglights. Rudolph had a red nose, right? Well, has anybody ever seen red foglights? Nay! Therefore, either Rudolph was just an absolute freak of nature with a red foglight for a nose, or (dare I say?) that story is completely bogus.

It pains me greatly, but I must conclude: Rudolph never existed.

 

DEAR GOD WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!1?!one?!?!

 

The bigger issue is letting Rudolph, who clearly had a drinking problem, lead a flight team. What kind of message is this sending to kids? A bad one, that's what!

Amazing.

 

I read once that the story of Rudolph was created by someone working for some department store. The store went to him and asked him to come up with an exclusive holiday story so that kids would want to come and shop at their store the most. The creator based the story off of the Ugly Duckling.

 

The story of Rudolph does is reminiscent of The Ugly Duckling.

True, Rudolph looks like he has a drinking problem. He should lay off of the eggnog, please, for the sake of the other reindeer!

And does anyone else find the classic Rudolph TV special to be extremely sexist? I can't stand that program.

 

Here is a little something I would like more opinions on: in the very last chorus verse of Rudolph (by Dean Martin), the words are " Rudy the red-dicked reindeer..."

Someone please listen before I am banned for saying this!
I've listened to the song hundreds of times and even if you do look up the lyrics, the words are *really* the ones I mentioned above!

We've all been duped!

 

What do you mean? Theres...theres...no Rudolph.

~PK~

 

That is like saying I don't exist.

 

What still confuses me is whether or not Rudolph`s nose was a red lightbulb or was just relective

 

I've seen red foglights








~Rogue~

 

Maybe Rudolph's nose is actually a flamethrower, which vaporizes the fog to allow for clearer visibility.

 

I love Wikipedia:

Rudolph's origins

Rudolph's story was originally written in verse by Robert L. May for the Montgomery Ward chain of department stores in 1939 and published as a book to be given to children in the store at Christmas time.
As Donner's son, Rudolph is depicted as an ordinary reindeer with a large, red nose, often grinning and always leading the team pulling Santa's sleigh, which usually comprises the eight reindeer mentioned in A Visit from St. Nicholas (also known as ?The Night Before Christmas'?) in pairs. (Rudolph is not depicted with a partner, thus reinforcing his status.)

The song

Johnny Marks, May's brother-in-law, decided to adapt May's story into a song, which through the years has been recorded by many artists (most notably by Gene Autry), and has since filtered into the popular consciousness.

 

Origin

Christened Erich Rudolph Ren, Rudolph was born not from the dream of two loving parents, but a sinister plan. Aldous Huxley sought to take over the world through superior air power?by the creation of his own race of flying reindeer. Controlled selective breeding and laboratory experimentation were the key.

At 9½ weeks of age, Rudolph was taken from his mother and moved to the secret underground chambers of Hitler's top scientists and surgeons. There he endured unspeakable acts of physical and psychological manipulation in what was eventually to become another failure of Nazi Germany...

Continued in Uncyclopedia

 

Heh, heh....that one's better!

 

LOL I would love it if that was true

 

Santa's an ass. He has a red nosed reindeer in front, but isn't considerate enough to the rest of the objects in the air to also ave a green one. How the hell are airplanes supposed to know which direction he is facing???

 

You all are ruining Christmas! Good Going! Next thing I know you'll be telling me Santa's not real....

~PK~

 

I have never imagined Rudolph to be a drinker. He is simply a radioactive mutant. Santa's the drunk one. I know this because I put Bourbon in his Egg Nog every year.

I never get coal.