"So these two Mandalorians are walking in the woods...": Jokes in the EU

Reading through the EU you come across some good ones, as well as some references to jokes like ones about the Twi'lek that walks into a bar with a gornt under his arm. Any favourites? What authors are good for jokes in the EU?

How do you tell if a Hutt is lying?
His lips move

 

His lips are moving.

They need more in-jokes like that, and less x-wing mudfights.

 

One of my favourites:

If one person calls you a Hutt, ignore him. If a second person calls you a Hutt, start to winder. if a third person calls you a Hutt get yourself a hookah and start dealing in spice.

I think also in The Approaching Storm there's a reference to a practical joke Mace Windu pulled on another Jedi, it isn't explained though.

Oh, and I just jumped in from Corellia and boy are my legs tired, yuk, yuk, yuk.

What are you doing up so late, ex?

 

Upgraded my computer. So browsing the forum whilst I transfer 15 gigs of my old files to the new format, which took a horrific epoch of time. Not everything is . . . adapting to the new environment. Windows Vista is a BIG difference to Win 2000. Needlessly flashy and hi-tech. My printer cable can't connect to the tower, and Vader's nuts, I have to activate basic programs like Word and Outlook! What? The product key at the base of the tower isn't working . . . so keep the jokes coming, I need humour.

 

It wasn't exactly a joke, but I seem to remember Han or someone talking about a Hutt and they said, "I trust him as far as I can throw him...and, I can't." Always makes me laugh when I think about it.

 

Another not really a joke: Ben's Lando impersonation in Betrayal

Oh, and all the jokes about the newness of the ship Han was flying in that same book.

 

In terms of an author I'd say that Allston kinda stands out on the comedy front. Though Denning had some golden moments with Alema, Tarfang and Jae Junn.

I loved how Jacen Solo thought "Now even my cape has turned against me" in Fury or Alema's constant attacks on the "lust puppies", Jag and Zekk throughout LOTF.

 

"You don't eat a barve like that all at once..."

 

The barve joke in the Boba Fett tale is my favorite.

There are lots and lots of jokes in the Young Jedi Knights series, mostly told by a young Jacen Solo. Also, see the beginning of each chapter in LOTF: Invincible for a few.

 

Whenever I want a good laugh I read Starfighters of Adumar.

That's one of my favorite books.

 

I'll have to read that, Alston's always good for comedy though

 

Wedge: If you continue to map the Unknown Regions, you'll have to call them something else.

Wedge: ..we have the right tools to subvert our Imperial admiral
Hobbie: What tools?
Wedge: Wes's maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills
Hobbie: We're doomed

Wedge: Sithspit! What's that?
Janson: That's the sun Wedge. It's after dawn
Wedge: Well, it offends me. Turn it off
Janson: It's a 130, 140 million klicks from here
Wedge: Go up in your X-Wing and shoot it down for me


All SoA, I believe. Not all "jokes", perhaps, strictly speaking, but close enough

 

LOL rogue!

Han's Nostril of Palpatine comment in Destiny's Way

And I recall somewhere in the NJO when Wedge got in an X-wing and was told off by Tycho and made to call him "Sir"

 

But those--Adumar particularly--are juvenile school yard jokes. I'd like to see some real conversational ones. There was one fighter pilot chatter in Conquerors' Legacy that went along like...

"That's not very nice. And to think I stuck up for you the other day."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Someone said you weren't fit to live in a pig stye. I said, don't underestimate him. You can handle the job."

I want to see humour like that. Actually . . . I got a real kick out of the Solo-Droma interaction. Hero's Trial was funny as. The way he irritated Solo. There were some funny moments in Cloak of Deception. I think when the Lucenopedia isn't making corny movie references -- You almost cut my head, Anakin! / Sorry, Master, my sword goes where it needs to -- he has a way with subtle humour.

 

Ex, that lightsaber line was in LOE between Obi and Anakin.

 

He knows.

Personally, I never really saw that line as foreshadowing or a movie reference. Just didn't read right. They're usually pretty overt.

 

It could have been, but it's debatable.

There were quite a lot of jokes in the Medstar novels

 

i like in the leia courtship when isoldor asks han if han wishies him to be dead han replies

no neuterd perhaps but not dead

 

I liked the lame joke you told the Sith Academy students in KOTOR. In fact, I think that's what you referenced in your title.

 

It is, apparently it was voted the funniest joke ever. i heard the situation is even funnier when Canderous is with you.

 

Anyone know the actual lines?

 

It's on my Wookieepedia page

 

"It'd be more realistic if the commander shot them both." I always have Canderous with me when I go to Korriban. And Jolee; some of their dialogue is hilarious.

 

Lashowe: "Do you know how many Sith there are in Dreshdae?"
Jolee: "Twelve. No, wait! Thirteen!"
Canderous: "Nice one, old man."
Jolee: "Thank you. It takes effort to be properly irreverent at my age."

My favorite character interaction in the game.

 

wow that is hillarious!