Beyond - Legends Sorrow (OC Challenge Entry+Bonus OS)

Title: Sorrow
Characters: Ethan Malek, Tanja Malek, other OCs
Era: Post LotF
Other: This story is interlinked with both the Black Sheep and The Last Stand rpgs as well as mine and Adalia´s Powers vs Passions and From Slavery to Aristocracy, though it generally can stand on its own and can be read independently.


Thanks to @Adalia-Durron for the beta.

The story also features brief cameos of one of Adalia´s characters as well as one from @Warrior_Goddess.

Sorrow

A light rain fell on them as if even the world itself was mourning with them. And so the raindrops washed the tears away from the coffin. He had done his best to remain strong in the last few days, but today he didn't hold his tears back. Why did it have to be me? Why am I the one to bury her? He and Tanja had both dreaded this day, both hoping they wouldn't be the one to bury the other. Ethan had always believed that he would die first, being a few months older than her, but in the end it was Tanja who had gotten sick and died, leaving him behind. It felt unjust to him, but he also knew he shouldn't complain. Both he and Tanja had lived long and full lives and had experienced more luck than most other beings in the galaxy. Sorrow overcame him when he thought back, why did happy emotions hurt so much more now than painful ones?

He remembered their first meeting during a snowball fight at the backyard of their school. Due to the toxic atmosphere of the nearby factories the snow had been brown and grey rather than white but he and the other kids had still enjoyed it. He and Tanja had fought the longest of the other children and so when the lessons began again both of them had been too late, their clothing and hair a ruined mess. They had gotten detention for an the entire week and it had been then that they had first started to talk to each other, first out of boredom but by the end of the week they had become friends.

Taking a handful of the brown wet earth next to the grave Ethan formed it like a snowball and let it fall down on the coffin, he could have used the little shovel but this was something he wanted to do with his own hands.

With time their friendship had grown and they, like all poor workers children on Eriadu had dreamed of one day joining the ORSF the military unit they heard so many stories about in class. It would be a chance for a better life but only the best where taken. Ethan doubted they would have taken him if not for Tanja, the two had trained together in their spare time, constantly challenging each other to improve upon their previous achievements. It had been during this training that Ethan had first begun to see Tanja as more than just a friend, but instead fallen in love with her, a feeling she had returned. Their training would pay of and eventually both of them had been chosen.

Ethan remembered how proud his parents had been and so in a quick moment, his gaze left the grave of his wife and wandered over to the one of his parents. After he had become the senator of Eriadu he had used his new connections to recover their remains from the paupers grave they had been given and reburied them here, in the mountains at the mansion he and Tanja had built for their family.

When he and Tanja had told each other they had been chosen they had been so happy that they had shared their first real kiss. They began dating each other afterwards though their new responsibilities would often keep them away from each other as they were assigned to different positions. Ethan´s talent for flying earned him a place in the star fighter corps while Tanja´s speed and skill in close quarters had her moved to the infantry. It had been a great time and they had made plans for a future together, but it was also around this time that slight rift had begun to grow between them. Ethan had become the protege of the then governor of Eriadu Wilhuff Tarkin who helped him to rise quicker to the ranks than Tanja was, which lead to him having even less time for their relationship. Tanja had warned Ethan, told him she did not trust Tarkin and that he should be careful, but in his youthful pride he had brushed the warnings off, believed it was jealousy that made Tanja say these things. How wrong he had been.

"You saw through him earlier than any of us, wish I would have listened to you back then," he muttered to her coffin but the rain drowned out his voice. Tanja always been wiser than him, especially when it came to judging other people.

When the Clone Wars had broken out Tarkin had begun to recruit volunteer forces to fight for the republic among the ORSF and Ethan had been the first to sign up for it, despite Tanja asking him not to, while he had tried to convince her to come with him. In the end though both had accepted the others decision and they had split on good terms, both of them hoping to rebuild their relationship after the war was over. At first Ethan had seen his decision validated as they fought for the republic, but then the great betrayal happened and when soldiers everywhere in the galaxy turned on the Jedi, Ethan had unwittingly and in good faith played his part in the Emperor schemes

He lowered his head to her grave and remembered how he, after he had returned to Eriadu after the civil war, had confessed all his mistakes to Tanja and how she had forgiven him, told him she still loved him, despite all that happened.

Being forcibly drafted into the imperial army Ethan could only see Tanja rarely in the time after the clone wars. He had tried his best to ignore the injustices he witnessed during the early days of the new order, telling himself that it was what had to be done to create a better future, he had lied to himself and those he cared about. During this time, sensing his discomfort Tarkin had abandoned his former protege, and so Ethan had been alone. He remembered his last meeting with Tanja around nine years after the clone wars had ended. She had asked him point blank how he could support the Empire, how he could justify their actions and dared him to turn her in for her words. Ethan hadn't been able to even look her in the eyes that day, as guilt and shame had overcome him. So instead he had and spent the next weeks brooding.

Ethan gently allowed a second hand of earth fall upon her grave as the same shame overcame him that he had felt back then.

And so he had decided to do something, with the aid of his commanding officer who himself doubted many of the empires actions, Ethan had faked a crippling injury that allowed him to leave the Imperial service as 'unsuitable for further service'. He had thought about returning to Eriadu but knew that this could put Tanja in danger. So instead he had traveled to the Hutt space and served for ten years as a mercenary, saving the money he earned while dreaming of one day coming back to Eriadu, back to Tanja. He saw the rise of rebellions through the galaxy and hoped that one day the Empire would crumble and fall apart allowing him to return. But then, when Alderaan was destroyed, by the man Ethan had once admired more than anyone else in the galaxy he knew that he could sit this war no longer out, he need to do something. And so he had joined the Rebellion, not knowing that Tanja and several of his old comrades had done the same on Eriadu beginning to plot to free their homeworld.

For the first time Ethan looked away from Tanja´s grave and towards the people behind him, he saw Alec, who had been his mechanic in the rebellion, now a middle aged man with his wife and son. The two of them had remained friends after the war and even now occasionally met and talked with each other. Next to Alec stood Amber Tehanis, his best friend in this galaxy they had been wing mates in the Rebellion and kept in touch afterwards. She gave Ethan a comforting look and he turned back to the grave.

In the Rebellion many had mistrusted him and in the end he had ended up in a squadron of outcasts, but it was here that after a long time he finally found friends again. Friends who helped him come to terms with his guilt and to be more than just an ex mercenary fighting for the Rebellion. And it had been there that Tanja had found him, had send him a message telling him about her fight on Eriadu and urging him to return. Ethan had wanted nothing more than that but after talking with his friends about the issue he resolved to stay with the rebellion until the emperor was dead so his homeworld could be truly free. And so he had stayed until after the battle of Endor. On his way back to Eriadu he had been filled with doubts and fear on how Tanja would react to seeing him again after all this time. In the end she welcomed him as if they had never split up, as if all the things that had stood in-between them where gone. They had rekindled their relationship and taken part in the fight against the warlord Delvardus together, and at the day of Eriadu´s liberation Ethan had proposed to Tanja. She had said yes before he had even been able to finish his speech and only a few months later their daughter had been born.

When Ethan looked up again, this time he turned his head towards the other side where his gaze met Ilona's. Now the new head of the family Ilona had taken her place as his successor without any problems and Ethan knew she would continue to make her parents proud. Tears where running over her face and her betrothed Tobin Redan had laid his arm around her shoulders. When Ethan and Tanja had met their future son in law they had been skeptical about him but the serious and stoic young man had proven he had nothing of the corruption the rest of his family was known for.

Tanja and Ethan had thought that with the liberation of Eriadu and the birth of their daughter, their part in the galactic history was done and they could now retire but instead the rulers of Eriadu had made them a proposition. Due to his contacts and experiences with the rebellion they wanted Ethan to become the Eriaduan senator in the New Republic, with Tanja being offered the position of military attaché at his side. And so their adventures had continued and for around two decades they had represented their homeworld to the larger galaxy but to Ethan the most important thing that happened during this time was the birth of his second child.

This time Ethan's gaze met Adrian´s, his son being overcome by the same sorrow as his father and sister. Marie stood next to him, giving him some comfort and exchanging a quick glance with Ethan. They had met during the terrible days of the second galactic civil war and Ethan seen the attraction between the two almost instantly, he was glad the two were happy together even if it made him sometimes a bit sad how rarely he saw then now that they were living on her homeworld of Dathomir.

After the Vong War Ethan protests against the empire being given a larger role in galactic politics again had cost him his position and so he and Tanja had finally retired and returned here to Eriadu to live a quiet life. And they had, outside a few months during the second galactic civil war where their past had caught up to them once more. They had a good life, together, until the day now eight days ago, when the sickness had claimed Tanja's life.

Ethan slowly stood up from his kneeling position in front of the grave. "Tanja Malek, Captain of the ORSF, heroine of the Eriaduan fight of independence, military attaché to the new republic. These are the things the galaxy will remember you for. But for me it will be your smile, your gentle and caring words, the strength you gave me through my entire life, the times you comforted me when I was sad, the times you forgave me the mistakes, the times you gave me hope, encouraged me to go one when I couldn't on my own strength. I wish I had listened to your advice more when I was a young man, and I'm glad you could still love me after I did not. And thankful for the time, for every day we got in this galaxy together, but most of all I'm thankful for our children, they are the best thing we ever made. It breaks our hearts to know that you are gone but I know that wherever you are now you are waiting for us, just as you waited all these years I was gone from Eriadu." With that his tears overcame him and he decided to end his speech, he saw how the other attendees, just a few personal friends alongside his kids stepped closer to the grave and began filling it with earth, while his children approach their father. When the three Malek's hugged the tears came even stronger from his eyes, because he knew that somewhere Tanja was watching them and smiled.

 

Oh, with each new installment telling of the Maleks I become more and more enthralled! Ethan's journey with and apart from Tanja was exquisitely poignant! A wonderfully touching entry to the challenge.

 

Don´t think you missed something.

Thanks
Yeah the Malek´s have become kinda central to my writing recently both in fanfic and rpg, so I´m glad you like them.


Was actually listening to this song, from one of my favourite bands, while writing the OS. Think it fits pretty well with the story as well as Ethan and Tanja´s relationship in general:

Spoiler: English Translation

Our Songs Will Remain

I still know how it once was
The images are still there
We were young and free and wild
Just you and I, nothing held us back
As free as a bird and proud about it
Then far too soon you went far away from here

But our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind
Our songs will remain
When we're no longer here
And even in dark times
They will never fade away
Our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind

You fought, you were so strong
But you were denied so much
I was by you and always will be
Your destiny is a part of me
And one day I follow you
We're both falling in love forever

Because our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind
Our songs will remain
When we're no longer here
And even in dark times
They will never fade away
Our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind

With the wind

Our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind
Our songs will remain
When we're no longer here
And even in dark times
They will never fade away
Our songs will remain
They drift on with the wind

They drift on with the wind

 

This is really bittersweet. Every moment of the goodbye reminds Ethan of his loss, though he also remembers the good times and how Tanja's love and strength of character shaped his life in so many ways. It seems like she's always been his true north, and the loss of such a love one can't help but bring a deep and heartbreaking grief.

The story of how they met was one of my favorite parts; even in a gritty, cold, polluted place they found a joyful friendship that would eventually lead to love. And the idea of these unrepentant little ruffians covered in dirty snow is such a vivid mental image, too.

It's really beautiful that their love managed to survive all of that, even though there were some really difficult times and a lot of separation involved. Ethan made a good choice in staying with the Rebellion (even if he wanted to go home to help there), and I get the definite impression that was what he'd learned from watching Tanja stand by her principles -- even though it tore their relationship apart for a time. And she always saw his good heart; if she didn't then she wouldn't have bothered trying to change his mind all those years. I'm glad that they were able to put things back together thanks to Tanja's acceptance and Ethan's courage (which he must really have needed to face her after so long).

Beautiful! And I don't doubt that she's never far from him. I'm glad that he has his friends from the Rebellion and their children there to help shoulder the grief. (And it's Ilona and Adrian! Can't believe I didn't include that in the comment when I first posted.)

 

Great job on a very emotional story. I really liked how Ethan made the first handful of dirt into a snowball as a tribute to the way they had met in the snowball fight, bringing their long relationship full-circle. It was obvious how devoted Ethan and Tanja were to one another throughout their lives, despite the many obstacles they had to overcome. Hopefully soon the happy memories become happy for him again.

Great work!

 

You really nailed down "sorrow" here, this is full of very sad feels!---an excellent response to the challenge! I enjoyed learning about the life and times of these characters and the love between them despite the obstacles they faced and the handling of Tanja's unfortunate departure. It's so relatable not only in the Galaxy far far away but our world, too---eerily on time with what's happening in the world today.

 

That´s the idea, yeah, each bit of earth brings, in a sense, colsure to a memory, each one representing one of the steps he and Tanja made on their way in life. Actually have seen and taken part in this custom in RL as well.

Oh very much so, there are many great and celebrated warriors in the galaxy, but to the people assembled here Tanja meant more, on a personal level. She wasn´t just a heroine they looked up to, but also friend/mother/love. In one idea I had for the challenge I was actually planning of depicting two ceremonies, first the official one where the Eriaduan´s would honor her as a heroine and then the personal one where the people closest to her mourn her in a more personal way.

Thanks to you for your comment. Glad you enjoyed them, hope you will continue to be intrested in this family and their stories.

Yeah, just remembering how deep their love and how happy they where together really makes Ethan´s grief so strong.

Liked that image too, really fits for how I always imagined their childhood, as the direct oppositte of their fellow Eriaduan Tarkin who grew up in wealth but without any love. Ethan and Tanja´s families where dirt poor and yet there was much strong love/friendship in their lives from the start.

I think facing Tanja again after all those years was the hardest moment in Ethan´s life, they where exchanging letters during his time in the rebellion but meeting each other again face to face was a very intense moment for both of them. And yeah, Tanja always knew that Ethan had a good heart, I think she could even see his dissatisfaction with the empire before he would admit it to himself.

His friends and his kids are defenetly a great help yeah, reassuring him he is not alone, and even if Tanja´s and soon his ways come to an end they made an impression on people, who will go on to remember them fondly. Most of all of course Adrian and Ilona, glad you enjoyed seeing them again.

Thanks.
Nice to see you liked my callback with the snowball shaped piece of dirt, think Ethan did it more subconsciously than thinking about it. Think yeah in time the memories will become happier again, Ethan knows that he probably only has at best a few more years of life at best and I think in this time he will take comfort in the many happy memories he has of Tanja and their relationship.

Will say I did not intend for the parallel to our current world situation but I agree that it fits in a sad way. Glad you like the story and thanks for your comment.


Also I just wanted to thank everyone for reading, commenting and voting for this story in the competition. Totally not expected it too win but very happy it did.

And so as a Bonus, I wanted to post a bit of AU I wrote a while ago. It was inthially thinking about posting seperatley but I think it fits here very well, as it gives us a look at how Ethan´s life could have looked like if Tanja hadn´t been there:


The Hero of Yarvin

Three days after the battle of Yarvin

When Ethan entered the commander Quarters he found Tarkin at the great outside window gazing at the giant red planet outside. As the captain stepped closer he could see that asteroids, without a doubt remnants of the destroyed moon where slowly buring up in the gas giants atmosphere, creating long yellow lines on the red surface.

"Beautifull, isn´t it?" Tarkin asked his protege without tearing his eyes from the window. A part of Ethan tended to agree but in his years of service he had in many ways lost a sense of beauty and art.

"We finished the search of the system but the freighter remains lost," he said instead. "As we both suspected, they must have left soon after the battle was over, but as far as we know no one of importance was on board."

That was probably true, from what they had gathered amongst the planets wrekadge the base and the rebel command with it had been destroyed.

"We´ve figured out the rebels target," Tarkin continued. "seems the shaft they where aiming for could have indeed been a weakness, though our best pilots assured me no normal pilot could hit such a small spot."

"The one who got closest wasn´t a normal pilot," Ethan said quietly as he remebered the moment in the trench.

If Tarkin was right and the shaft was indeed a weakspot than only seconds had decided their fate. Flying on the righter side behind the Dark Lord Ethan had noticed the freighters shadow above in the last possible second, which in combination with the stronger shields of his modified TIE had allowed him to evade the attack that would have other wise ended his life. Giving himself enough time to properly take aim and take out the last X-Wing in the trench, mere seconds before he could have taken the shot.

"Whoever is responsible for this, wether out of a desire to sabotage or sheer incompetence will be held accountable," Tarkin contniued calmly. "Our techs are already working on fixing this weak spot and locking out for potentially similiar ones."

Ethan said nothing for a moment, then he asked the question that was in his mind since the battle.

"What about Vader, do they?...."

For the first time Tarkin turned to his fellow Eriaduan, a thin smile appearing on his lips, "they do. The entire empire no knows that our brave Lord Vader died fighting the rebellion."

In truth it had been Ethan who after the battle had destroyed the Dark Lords heavily damadged, helpless fighter with a perscisley aimned salvo, just as Tarkin had asked of him.

"Everything is falling into place, not only was the rebellion scattered but the destruction of Alderaan and the death of Vader have weakened the emperors position."

Ethan looked up to his mentor, the man he admired more than anyone else in the galaxy. What was he talking about? He had believed the death of Vader was just a personal score, or Tarkin trying to rise even higher in the empires hirachy, but this?

"You are talking about?" Ethan didn´t dare to say the word that was on his mind: Treason.

"Look around you Ethan," Tarkin said after a moment of pause. "The empire is failing on so many fronts, new rebellions spring up everywhere, and why? Because its leadership has grown corrupt and self serving. The emperor wastes his time with meaningless occultism, while the Moffs just hoard their own wealth and empty the nations treasury. Its the same cancer that befell the old republic, the same weakness."

Ethan said nothing to this, but he realized that Tarkin had been planning this for a while now.

"Its time for a change in leadership, men like you and me, dedicated and loyal should be the ones to decide the empires future."

The younger man felt honored by this compliment and politley inclinded his head towards his mentor. Tarkin was right he knew, the empire, the entire galaxy needed them, needed the old man just as Ethan had needed him after...

"Who else is in on this?" Ethan asked.

"Jularen, Motti here on the Death Star, Daala is assembling forces in our base at the Maw, Demetrius Zaarin has an eye on our friends Admiral Thrawn, and there are others as well. But we need you too, we need the Hero of Yarvin." Tarkin looked directly into the eyes of the man who had almost become like a son to him.

"We need you Ethan, to ensure this galaxy finally finds peace, so that people can live in save lives without their loved ones being taken away from them."

As Tarkin had intened Ethan´s thoughts returned to Tanja at these words and the day of her death. He had been too slow, just a few seconds too slow to prevent her death, the death of the woman he loved. It had been his fault he had told himself over and over again, until he had been nearly consumed by his sorrow and self hatred.

Tarkin had been there for him in those days, had shown him that it was the pirates who where responsible and the weak, corrupt republic for allowing things like this to happen. And so, they had taken revenge together, had whiped out the pirates and gone on to fight others like them. His duty had saved him from the pain and so it had become the focus of his life, he had left any desires, hopes, dreams behind all of that human weakness that had caused him to be too slow back then.

And so as he returned the gaze of the man who was like a second father to him he said, "I´m with you, as I always have been."

 

25. Things you said in front of other people (OTP Pairing challenge 15)

Timeframe 4 ABY, Ethan and Tanja meet again after the battle of Endor:


"Colonel! Ambassador Ethan Malek of the New Republic, at your service."

"Ambassador Malek, it's a pleasure to meet you, say are you from Eriadu as well? I recognize the accent."

"I am ma'am, born and raised in Phelar."

"Nice old city, once knew a boy there, he was cute, but alas had the unfortunate tendency not to listen to the women in his life."

"I´m sure he has come to dearly regret this by now."

"Most certainty. Last I heard was that he joined the rebellion."

"An honorable position."

"Sure, but an Eriaduan´s place is on his or her homeworld."

"Some say the rebellion fights for all worlds."

"And some say, diplomats are trained not to contradict all the time."

"Then I must apologize for my failures in that regard ma'am, the rebellion is currently low in skilled personal and has a thousand and one planets to take care of."

"And what 'care' do they have in mind for Eriadu? The only thing I´m seeing is an ambassador, if a pretty handsome one admittedly."

"That's the main part of the deal, but in addition to my looks and, if I dare say decent combat experience, I could also offer you three squadrons of X and Y Wings respectively, and an old blockade runner."

"Hardly a fleet to challenge the imperial forces."

"Again I must apologize, it's entirely my fault, after seeing me on the battlefield our leadership became convinced that Eriaduans are great enough warriors who could drive the imperials out with only a small reinforcement."

"Well maybe they are right with that, we'll see soon enough how skilled you really are ambassador."

"That´s all I´m asking for colonel."

"Ambassador there is one more thing, I´ve got a message for that old friend of mine I mentioned, but its private, can you come a bit closer."

"Of course... Colonel I don´t know if it's appropriate to hug a member of the diplomatic core in front of..."

"...Sorry 'ambassador' but I have waited far too long for this...."

"...."

"I´m sorry Ethan, just needed that."

"Me too, Tanja, me too."

"It's good that you are back, will you stay?"

"For the rest of my life, if that´s what you want."

"It is, we´ve been apart for far too long, have quite a lot to catch up too. Also there is still a minor problem of several thousand imperial soldiers and a warlord currently stationed on our world."

"Nothing we can´t fix as when we are together. I´ve been through worse in my life."

"We both where, just don´t imagine I had a quiet time here while you where gallivanting all over the galaxy."

"I would never suggest that, as an ambassador I´m trained not to contradict."

"Then say, ambassador Malek, there is another thing I want to know. Is it inappropriate as well for an ambassador to openly kiss the colonel he is assigned to?"

"It might be for ambassador Malek, but that boy from Phelar, he doesn´t care."

 

and yummy.

 

Glad you enjoy it.

Thanks

That´s kind of the idea yeah, how a comparativley small change than change the entire fate of the SW galaxy. Tarkin and Ethan are defenetly an intresting relationship, Ethan looks up to Tarkin as a mentor, a hero, while Tarkin I think, in his very twisted way saw Ethan as a replacement for his desceased son, as someone who could be his eventual heir. In the OTL Ethan´s moral doubts eventually lead to the break of said relation but in this AU the death of Tanja pushes Ethan towards embracing it instead.

Its actually where I took the idea from, if you notice I posted it before that challenge was even anounced. You could put it up there maybe as the genesis of the challenge in a way, would leave that descision to you.

Thanks, glad you like it. Was really going back and forth on this moment, inthially I was thinking about makeing it more serious and filled with tension cause they´ve been seperated for so long by that point, but at that point they have been exchanging messages and been talking over the holonet for at least a year so I tought there wouldn´t be much tension left between them, even if they of course playfully snark at each other in the begining. Their reunion then overtakeing the formal aspects of it then of course if because of their long seperation, they´ve waited so long, they don´t want to wait even a few more minutes.