Star Wars has a Fountain of Youth and it's the Skywalker penis.

The other day I was discussing the art of the Legacy comics with Blithe and we started discussing Morrigan Corde and laughing that she looked younger than Cade does when it clicked in my head. We've never seen any woman who has sex with a male of the Skywalker line show any signs of aging. Let's run down the list.

Anakin Skywalker, being the least sexually promiscuous Skywalker, only had sex with Padme and she does not age between AotC and her death.

Luke required a lot more thought, but the potential list I came up with consisted of Alex Winger, Dani the Zeltron, Shira Brie, Gaerial Captison, Mara Jade, Jem Ysanna, Callista and Akanah. Also none of these women have been showed to age after their romantic encounters with Luke. Mara Jade being rather conspicuous and the source of much outrage among fans as Leia aged and she did not.

Tenel Ka has not aged at all since it's been confirmed that she slept with Jacen. And Tahiri hasn't seemed to age since certain members of the lit board suspected that she and Anakin Solo consummated their relationship.

And then of course we have Morrigan Corde who is the most eyebrow raising case of suspended aging since Mara Jade. Now it may be some time before we can tell if Deliah Blue or Darth Talon show signs of aging after their relationships with Cade, but I doubt we will see any.

Questions? Comments? Additions to the lists? Petitions that I be banned?

RF: I think we're done here, before good taste is completely tossed out the window...

 

I lol'd.

Fairly amusing theory. One more reason for me to like Cade.

 

Ban him for incriminating me in that horrendous conversation.

EDIT: Wait - is that why Palpatine is so obsessed with having Anakin Skywalker as his Sith apprentice in the prequels, to discover the secret to immortality?

 

Don't think I'm saying this just because I'm a Fandalorian, but I can't recall Kannen Doom aging, and then there's Sintas Vel...

 

Clearly Mara's lack of aging is the most prominent because she got a double dose.

 

Total win, becca!

 

Ah, but than there's Sheeka Tull, who did age.

 

Hey, the topic creator might be on to something here. This is why women want a Skywalker man.

 

AND they're gorgerous. Well, Anakin and Cade are...

 

I . . . oh good Maker you're onto something!

 

Dani and Alex Winger? Is there any indication that Luke had sex with either of them? And why even mention Jem Ysanna? Even if Luke did end up having sex with her, she was probably only alive for only a week after the fact. Is Akanah not described as much older in Dark Nest? Cause if not...you might have something here.

 

The Dark Empire II audio drama strongly suggests that Jem and Luke were, er, rather amorous while on the Jedi Explorer.

 

I've been coming here on and off for 7 and a half years now, and at long last, I got to see the word "penis" at the top of the board upon my arrival. I can die in peace now.

 

This gets more disturbing if you think about the sequence of events....

 

More like how after Anakin suffered severe injuries and had to be encased in a full-body black suit he went after his son....

 

Can't get one, go after the other. Didn't he want Luke to take his father's place at his side?

 

Still, how would we ever know if she was "granted the gift of eternal youth" as it were? She was dead very soon after in any case.

 

Well, if this theory is true, I don't think it was his side . . .

 

One flaw to the logic.

Luke and Leia had sex in Splinter of the Mind's Eye.

Or does the inbred nature of the penis contact negate the effect?

 

Nope, it proves that twincest never happened.

 

I usually just read the boards, and add comments when I find something just awesome.

And you did it.

This has to be the single greatest theory on the boards.

It also explains why Jacen can manipulate Tahiri so easily in LOTF: she's still an impressionable 15 year old girl.

And it definitely explains the reason Palpatine wanted Luke so much. There was definitely a side involved, but the word you're looking for is in

 

I . . . *headdesk* I'm alarmed at how this actually . . . makes sense.

I'm gonna go scrub my brain with lye now.


Dana