SWC Star Wars Puns/Jokes!

I come up with puns all day (mostly terrible ones), and a fair amount of them have to do with Star Wars. Unfortunately, barely anyone I know would actually understand any of them, so I figured I would post some of them here, and invite you all to do the same! Anything related to Star Wars is fine, and if you read some of mine, you will probably lose any illusion of high expectations you might have.
Here are some of mine (though they have probably been told before):

1. All the planets were making pins for a crafts competition.
-The Bes'pin won.

2. Why shouldn't you say the name of 4-LOM's partner around some aliens?
-Because it's Zuckuss word.

3. What did the Imperials say when they caught two bothan spies?
-"You're bothan a lot of trouble!"

4. What is Admiral Ackbar's favorite board game?
-Mancala Mari.

5. Why didn't Lando's copilot say much?
- Because his mouth was Nunb.

6. Why do people get impatient with Wedge?
-Because he doesn't do anything Antilles absolutely ready.

7. Jek Porkin's family was devastated when he died.
His Porkinsmen.

8. A girl was looking for a weapon that would cut very cleanly.
Something about the lightsaber cauterize.

9. Grand Moff Tarkin CAN run a mile, but he Wilhuf and puff all the way.

10. Movie critics really liked the crab-like arena beast in AOTC.
-He received acklaydes.

And this last one is from a friend of mine, and also my favorite:

11. I never let a Dagobah without thinking of Yoda.

Please post some of your own!

 

Why is Mace afraid of heights?
-Because he flew out a window.

 

-What kind of computer OS does Mace have? Windus XP
-Mace's part time job? Windu Washer
-Who won? Obi-wan

 

Don't anger Darth Vader or the Sith will hit the fan.

If you've seen one Sith, you've seen a Maul.

 

What do you call a teenage Sith? Palpateen
Where do teenage Sith hangout? the Darth Maul
How did the Sith die on Endor? He got mauled by a bear
Where do the rebels go for a drink? The Ackbar

 

That "Seen a Maul" one is really good.

The cantina band had to cancel their act because their lead man got sick.
-They weren't Figrin on that happening.

Han Solo lost a lot of weight between ESB and ROTJ because of his new diet.
-He only ate a carb-a-night.

The name of Padme's chief of security in AOTC was a misprint.
-A Captain Typo.

What did Anakin say when C-3PO returned to him?
-"The protocol son returns."



Keep it up!

 

Palpatine was able to take the Jedi by surprise because he had something hidden up his Sheev.

 

OK, most of the others made me groan, but this one made me laugh.

 

As ObiWan said to his proctologist, "These aren't the rhoids you're looking for". Sorry that was bad.

 

-The Separatist can Count on Dooku
-Why did Dooku start counting? Yoda said "Count Dooku" (I know lame)
-The Separatist made a Grievous error
-

 

There were those in the Republic who favored a gradual transition to an Empire, but Palpatine wanted to Force the issue.

 

-Which imperial walker has its own cell reception?
- The AT-N'T

-Why was Lobot so docile and unresponsive after he gained weight?
-Because he had a Lobottummy.

And if you didn't think any of those were stretches:

How does Poggle the Lesser introduce his sister to people?

-"D'yaknowSis?"






(supposed to be pronounced like Geonosis)

 

Bail Organa had to Bail out of the Empire.

 

How do Ewoks like their food? Chewie
Alderaan didn't get a Bail out during it's destruction

 

Why are hammerheads allowed to arrest people?
They have the Ithority to do so.

How does a man know if Chief Chirpa is upside-down or not?
'Ewoks right up and asks him.

The Lars homestead had a good supply of alcohol at all times.
They had their own Beruery.

Where did Obi-Wan find his love interest.
She was Satine on the dock of the bay.

What do you call a starship that destroys broken swingsets?
An ex-swing fighter.

 

Why did the Moff have a large phone bill? He was Tarkin on the phone.
How come the Lars were out of work? They were fired by the Empire
What are Stormtroopers favorite food? Beru-B-Q
How did Nute Gunray die? He was gunrayed down.
How did Wicket get to the shield generator? Ewoked there.

 

Why is it so hard to hang out with Sly Moore?
-She's Umbarable

What is the most popular dessert on Kamino?
-Tipoca pudding.

There are plenty of good Star Wars authors out there, but Timothy's Zahn a whole other level.

 

How did Shaak Ti die? She was Shaaked to death
What was Barris doing at the coffee shop? She was a barrisita.

 

What'd Grand Master Shan say when she walked into the Jedi Council and found everyone in a bad mood?
- "What's Satele with you all?"

What'd Jabba's band do when the music wasn't loud enough?
- They turned it up to the Max.

What does Aayla do after she puts her seatbelt on?
- Makes sure she's Secura 'nough.

What does Luminara suggest you do before taking off your shoes?
- Unduli laces.

Han Solo didn't think the bounty hunter was going to like his offer, but in the end he a Greedo.

What'd Maul say to Savage when they found the button they were looking for?
- "You bet Opress it."

What'd Starkiller do when he was really thirsty?
- He drank a Galen of water.

What does Maul's mother do when he doesn't do what he's told?
- She Talzin to do it.

What's the first thing the Jedi does when he gets in his vehicle?
- He starts Revan.

What'd the Jedi say to the rest of the Council when he was concerned about trusting a Sith?
- "He'll Plagueis."

What'd the Sith do when their forces needed supplies?
- They dropped a Krayt.

What'd Nute Gunray say the General would do if him and the rest of the Separaist Council were to die?
- "He'll Grievous."

The Princess is making a cake, but she's only finished the first Leia.

What does Qui-Gon do after a tough day?
- Drinks some Jinn.

What does Sora prefer to do instead of buying his groceries daily?
- Buy them in a Bulq each week.

What does Jedi Master Billaba have to do if she wants to break the deep diving world record?
- Go down Depa.

What does Anakin have to do if he wants to get all the mud off of his Padawan?
- He's got Ahsoka.

Yarael is such a good magician. One minute he's here, then Poof, he's gone.

A group of droids were playing Whac-A-Mole and the pit droid won. He managed to WAC-47 of them.

What'd the Nautolan Jedi Initiate say when he thought he saw something?
- "What's Zatt over there?"

Why did Eeth leave the Jedi Order?
- Koth he wanted to.

What'd the junk dealer say when a Jedi turned up at his junk shop?
- "Watto you want from me?"

What was the farmer hoping for when he was riding his animal as fast as he could to deliver the supplies?
- Eopie would make it on time.

Why did the Selkath bounty hunter get slapped by a female bounty hunter?
- He thought she was a Mantu.

What'd Padme's guard do to make the situation better when her palace was broken into?
- He tried not to Panaka.

Why was Jedi Master Paratus mad at his friend Dan, who was supposed to meet up with him?
- Kazdan cancelled.

Why was the Lannik Jedi Master known as a bit of a daredevil within the Jedi Council?
- Because when he ate oranges he didn't Even Piell them.

Why was Vice Chancellor Mas in trouble with Sly Moore?
- Amedda mad.

Why were the construction workers so thankful to Senator Orn?
- He gave them Free Taa.

What'd the Amani bounty hunter keep saying when males walked into Jabba's Palace?
- "Amanaman."

What was Agen's favourite drink?
- Kolar.

Why was Luke's uncle hastled by a bounty hunter?
- He Owen Lars of money.

How did Owen eventually get all of the money?
- He Beru Lars of beer and sold it to the cantina.

Why wasn't the Rodian senator scared of the snake?
- The Onaconda was Farr away.

What does the General in the AT-AT do when a snowspeeder is coming straight for them?
- He Veers to the side.

What'd the Talz say when something was blocking his path?
- "Muftak out of the way."

 

Those are all horrible. Love 'em

 

Why did the sandtrooper ride to the library?
HIs book was dewback there.

Why do Kaminoans hate it when Andean pack animals get hurt on their property?
Because Llamas Sue.

What did the Kaminoans say to the first Jedi to communicate with them about the clones?
Buenos-Dyas!

Why did the cantina owner's daughter take on the family business?
It's Wuher father wanted.

What did the Naboo governor say to the guy next to him in church?
"Can I Sio Bibble for a moment?"


Jordan1Kenobi, I am very impressed.

 

Why did Leia wear rags? Her clothes were eaten by Mon Mothma
What's the sarlacc pit's favorite candy? Boba gum
Why did Yoda go to the bathroom? He had to take a Sith.
How did Yoda feel about losing? He was sithed off.

 

Grand Admiral Thrawn learned strategy from being on the Chiss club in high school.

When Threepio heard he was being sent to the spice mines, he had to Kessel all his previous appointments.

After Luke got attacked by the wampa, he had to relearn a few things- he had to go bacta basics.

 

What'd Nomi do after she let her daughter take a ride on their pet female eopie?
- She let her Sunrider.

Why did Jedi Master Shan go to the Bastille concert?
- She thought Bastila good.

Why were the snowtroopers annoyed when they went to Mustafar?
- It was too Hoth there.

Why did the crowd leave the Petranaki arena?
- It started to Reek.

Why didn't Barriss want to pay her bill?
- It was a bit of Offee.

What did the Admiral say when he wanted a refill?
- "I want some Motti."

What does the Rebel pilot Darklighter do when he doesn't get what he wants?
- He Biggs for it.

What did the Separatists have to do when Jedi Master Swan got out of her restraints?
- Bultar down.

Two Sith were having a Rock-paper-scissors competition. The final score was three to Nihl.

What happens if you annoy Kit?
- You'll get a Fisto your face.

Why didn't others like Jedi Master Tiin very much?
- He was too Saesee.

What needed to be done after the podracer's light went out?
- Sebulba need fixing.