STUPID Computer User Stories....

I Cringe and feel unbelievable when I see people who are Stupid with computers, actually got a job to work with computers.

Did I tell you once, that some lady thought just because a computer had a zip drive, can't take floopy disks, even though there is a slot for it?

Here is another one: "A screensaver was running on a idle computer, and this guy comes up and complains that it is not letting him use the computer."

He didn't even move the mouse... what? he just expects computer to get rid of the screen saver when he comes to the computer, staring at the monitor???


This isn't exactly the age of Artificial Intelligence yet.

More STUPID people got NO clue of computers?
Please add those stories.

 

I think I can top that


"Whats the differance between a color ink cartridge and a b\w one?"

I work at Circuit City, so I hear em' all.

 

I got a ton of stories that can go here.

Instructions were given for all employees to turn off their computers so that they wouldn't use up electricity over the weekend. The majority of the people ended up just turning off their monitors, and they thought that they had turned off their computer.

Or, you give someone a new monitor, and they ask you multiple times to make sure that it still has all of their old files on it.

 

Maybe those were like iMacs?
heh heh.

"Isn't Microsoft Office a game? I don't want any games installed on the office computers..."

 

Yeah, with the exception of Macs, most PCs the Monitors and the HD are separate.

 

I really like it when people save something to disk, then pull out the disk while it's still saving, and then wonder why a) their disk is messed up, or b) their file is messed up.

"Mind the A: drive light, save your files it can..."

 

i used to work at an ISP doing internet support,, i've got a ton of stupid user stories.. this one sticks out though..

this lady calls up and starts complaining that she can't get off the internet (?) - inferring what she was talking about, i tell her that if she shuts down the browser, the internet should disconnect, and if it doesn't right away it will once it has been idle for a certain period of time..
she says she has to go somewhere and needs to shut it off right away.. so, i tell her to find the 'connection status' icon on her tool bar.. and then it goes something like this..

her: where's the 'tool bar'
me: at the bottom of your screen
her: what screen?
me: your monitor
her: my computer?
me: no, your monitor
her: what's my monitor
me: it's the t.v. part
her: oh
me: at the bottom of the screen is the tool bar, at the far right you should see your connection status icon, right by the clock
her: there's nothing there
me: are you running windows?
her: no i have them all closed
me: no, are you running the windows OS?
her: 'no' i said
me: are microsoft programs installed on your computer?
her: yes
me: ok... drag your cursor to the bottom of the screen
her: my cursor?
me: your mouse, the arrow
her: ohhhh..
me: does the tool bar pop up when you have the arrow at the bottom of the screen?
her: no
me: okay - so you don't have a tool bar, you don't have a windows start button, and you don't have a connection status icon by your clock..
her: there's no "clock", just something that says what time it is
me: (utter disbelief and silence)
her: is that the clock?
me: yes
her: it doesn't look like a clock
me: ... um.. i'll just go ahead and disconnect you from the server myself.. from here
her: you can do that?!?
me: uh huh...

i swear.. that's almost verbatim...

why do some people feel like they need a computer?!

 

Taken from an actual transcript from a Gateway service call:

Customer: I was using my word processer and the program stopped working

Technition: Can you see the user interface?

C: Whats that?

T: Never mind, can you see the mouse curser?

C: No, nothing.

T: What do you mean nothing?

C: I see nothing, its just black

T: Is your computer on?

C: I think so.

T: Ok, look behind the monitor and make sure the cords are still plugged in.

C: Monitor?

T: The thing that looks like a TV.

C: I can't see behind it.

T: Can you feel behind it?

C: Yes.

T: Are there two cords there?

C: Yes.

T: Follow them. Make sure they are both plugged in. One should be in a wall socket, the other into the back of your computer.

C: I can't its too dark.

T: What do you mean its too dark?

C: The lights are off.

T: Well can you turn them on?

C: No there's a power outage.

T: Ok, do you still have all the boxes and manuals that came with your computer?

C: Yes.

T: Ok, pack up your computer and bring it back to Gateway.

C: Is it that bad?

T: Yup, tell the rep you are too stupid to own a computer.

 

LOL

 

My bil worked for Gateway for awhile, and he loved telling us about all the stupid people who would call. It's amazing that these people would feel the need to have a computer. Once, he got a phone call from a guy who couldn't figure out how to get a website to take his credit card. Turns out, he was putting it in the floppy drive, thinking it would work.

I'll call him tonight, and get some more stupid user stories.

 

OMG that is hillarious.

Mental note - Computers don't work like ATMs....

 

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

¤Night

 

And, the X-filish paranoia is hysterical

About a year ago, a customer from Roswell, NM, called in to place an order. To break the ice, I jokingly asked if he or any of his neighbors had seen any aliens lately. The guy laughed and proceeded to tell me all about the crazies (his word, not mine) that not only live in Roswell but who come on vacation there in hopes of seeing a UFO themselves. As he talked, I processed the order, and the last bit of information I needed to complete it was the guy's email address for marketing purposes.


Customer: "Email! I won't have anything to do with that Internet or modems of any sort! You should be careful about those. Don't you know that once you install a modem, the government can look into your computer and watch everything you do? That's why every night before I go to bed, I turn the monitor to the wall."

LOL

Thanks so much for the link, to the archives of computer Stupidity, Night4554

 

me: okay - so you don't have a tool bar, you don't have a windows start button, and you don't have a connection status icon by your clock..
her: there's no "clock", just something that says what time it is
me: (utter disbelief and silence)
her: is that the clock?
me: yes

That's classic.

 

it was a nightmare i wouldn't wish on any of you

well, maybe some of you... //glares in their direction

 

I work in tech support for a cable isp (which shall remain safely anonymous) and I get all sorts of stupid callers daily. I could go on about some of them, but I'll save them for a bit later when I've got some time.

 

You know what makes these people (Stupid computer users) even more Stupid?

Is when they frustrately yell "Stupid Computers"...

Ummmm, who is stupid?

 

GIGO:
Garbage In, Garbage Out.

Still, it can be pretty funny!

 

My Spanish teacher, big on playing spanish music for class

"I found some music, but the computer said I couldn't download it without a 'plug-in'. Estudiantes, does anyone have a 'plug-in' at home that they can bring to me so I can download this music?"

 

Guys, YOU GOTTA READ, SAVE ALL those pages from the links Night4554 provided!

They were just AWESOME!!!

Awesome to the degree that make you LMAO!

LMAO ONCE AGAIN...

What is people's problem? I am not sure if their IQ is high, or just not computer smart, but some of these people are just Unbelievabally Stupid with computers, and believe me some are common sense stuff they should get even with computers!



And as far as technical support outsmart some of these customer idiots, sometimes the role is reversed.

And there is a page on the link Night provided.

I experienced several of those as well, personally. And waiting was too long, for those technicial calls. I usually only call for things that's more complex. What I hate was, when I got answered, the technicial support people just have NO clue either, I want advanced Information, and they just go thru SIMPLE, BASIC stuff for me....Great!

After a couple times, I FED UP. I never called Tech Support again! If there is something I don't know, hell, thanks to the Internet I can find it Faster than calling these clueless guys!


...

LMAO AGAIN

 

I've been dealing with the *ahem* technically challenged professionally since the early '90s. It never ceases to amaze me how intelligent people turn into mouth breathers the moment they sit in front of a computer. They're like lycanthropes on the night of a full moon, transformed into gibbering, panic-stricken goblins by the glare of the electron gun. Sometimes I think I'm talking to smurfs, considering how they can use the word "thingie" to mean anything. I've climbed high enough up the geek pyramid that I don't have to deal with the users directly too often, but when one of them does get dumped in my lap, it's usually a doozy. Researchers who become enraged when you tell them the e-mail they kept on servers retired a decade ago is no longer retrievable. Faculty members who insist we buy them new computers when they learn their 386s will no longer run the software we distribute. Stressed out graduate students who think the "Internet Communists" are using the television to hack into their computers to put grammar mistakes in their dissertations (I do not kid).

 

I get around online

¤Night

 

I just find it funny when I'm at school sitting next to someone at our computers and they're on the internet, and they don't a have a clue what they're doing. If we need to do research on a subject like the American Revolution, they'll type in something like this in the address box when they want to find out something about it.

http://www.battles that took place during the American Revolution.com

It's funny when stuff like that happens.

 

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