Stupid Quotes.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we
should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

--John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"

--George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"

--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,"

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

(note: please don't post quotes from people on the boards because it might offend people...yeah i know nails is saying not to offend people but yeah...well i guess you can if its from a sock designed to be stupid or if its under permission)

oh and check out slipups.com for alot more. they have alot of funny dubya ones.

 

"I would not live forever, because we
should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

LOL!

 

"They misunderestimated me."

Who else? George W. Bush, President


"They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."

Kevin Keagan, former England Soccer Team Coach.


"Manchester United have hit the ground running - albeit with a 3-0 defeat."

Bob Wilson, Sports Commentator


"The band never actually split up - we just stopped speaking to each other and went our seperate ways."

Boy George


"That was Joseph Weston, eponymous owner of the Cork Street Gallery..."

Un-named, BBC Radio 5


"The offer represents a 20% increase on Vodafone's initial bid, but Vodafone may still be facing rejection as hostile takeovers are practically unknown in Germany."

Un-named, BBC Radio 4


"Kevin Francis can't help being 6 foot 7 - he was born that way."

Peter Rhoads-Brown


"Of the bisexual men [in the research poll] only a small percentage identified themselves as lesbian or gay."

Adrian Coyle


"At least 50% of the population are women, and the rest are men."

Harriet Harman, UK Member of Parliament, and Minister for Women at the time.


"Senior Republicans certainly expected the President to come clean over Miss Lewinsky."

Bridget Kendall, BBC News


"King Hussein is fighting for his life tonight - it's a battle he seems destined, finally, to lose."

Un-named, BBC Radio 4

 

"We hate those Beatles' music. We can't stand them. And guitar music is on the way out anyway."

- A record publising company in 1962.

 

LOL!!! I especially liked the live forever one.

 

"Beyond its entertainment value, Baywatch has enriched and, in many cases, helped save lives. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue with a project which has has such a significance for so many."

David Hasselhoff, Actor


"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."

George Bush


"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."

Parish Magazine

 

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

- A congressional candidate in Texas.

 

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."

~Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, California


"You read what Disraeli had to say. I don't remember what he said. He said something. He's no longer with us."

~Bob Dole


"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

~Jason Kidd

 

LOL!





Rick McCallum loves you!

 

Nice quotes everyone.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

And of course:

"I invented the internet".
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President

 

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle


ROTFL!




DarthTunick,
you can't ignore the San Fernando Valley

 

"PAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNTTTTZZZ!!!!!!" --Chyren's Arse

 

Well some of these quotes aren't stupid.

""The band never actually split up - we just stopped speaking to each other and went our seperate ways."

Yeah, he's satiring they're split up. He's trying to sound stupid.

"Of the bisexual men [in the research poll] only a small percentage identified themselves as lesbian or gay."
I'm not sure but being bisexual means you like men and women. Being gay means you're a man who likes men. I'm not sure if one includes the other.


Oh and funny quotes everyone!

 

Some of these are most likely taken out of context. But regardless, they're hilarious.