SW jokes (as told by the characters themselves!)

I saw this in the lit forum, thought it was funny, and to see if you guys have anyothers yourselves.... (warning, some may be cheezier than the others... ) (and a disclaimer...this thread was brought to you by...trianiigirl)

What do you call the person who brings a rancor its dinner?
The appetizer

Why do TIE fighters scream in space?
Because they miss their mothership.

What goes ha-ha-ha... thump?
A droid laughing its head off.

I heard two droids talking the other day. The first one said, "Well, did you beat the Wookiee at sabacc?" ans the second one said "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."

How many stormtropers does it take to change a glowpanel?
Two- One to change it and another to shoot him and take credit for all the work.

How long does Uncle Luke need to sleep?
One Jedi Knight.

Why did the bantha cross the Dune Sea?
To get to the other side.

What's the difference between an AT-AT and a stormtrooper on foot?
One's an Imperial Walker and the other's a walking Imperial.

What time is it when an Imperial Walker steps on your chronometer?
Time to get a new chronometer.

How do you tell the difference between a rancor?
One of its legs is both the same.

What did the new animal trainer say after his first day of working with a team of vicious battle dogs?
This job is a pain in the nek.

Buzz buzz.
Who's there?
Dismay.
Dismay Who?
Dismay not seem funny to you, but I'm hoping you'll at least smile.

What does an Imperial Star Destroyer wear to a formal occasion?
A bow TIE.

What side of a wampa has the most fur?
The outside.

How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
None! If the room's dark, you can't see Corellians cheating at sabacc! (Corran Horn)

 

Why do Jedi use lightsabers?

Because noodle-sabers don't do much damage.

 

Why will Taun-Taun's never go extinct?

Because even Wampa's can't stomach them!

 

How long does it take adapt a snow-speeder to Hoth's cold?

Just about as long as it takes Luke to get into trouble.

 

Why did the swamp creature spit out R2?

He was trying to help him back onto shore.

 

What is the turning radius of a SSD?

An SSD doesn't have a turning radius.

 

Why did Jabba have Leia put on that metal bikini?

He liked the way it chaffed against his tongue.

 

Why did the "light-mace" never become a favoured Jedi weapon?

Too many Jedi kept trying to see how many licks it took to get to the chewy center.

 

Why was Palpatine always so angry?

Too much prune-juice.

 

Who designed the first TIE fighter?

The same guy that came up with Triscuits.

 

Why don't StormTroopers use lightsabers?

Are you kidding?! Have you seen how they shoot?????

 

Who is the main manufacturer of tractor-beams?

DEERE.

 

How did Luke make that incredible shot to destroy the Death Star?

He would have done anything to get Ben out of his head!

 

What is the favourite saying of both R2 and C3PO?

"Parts is parts."

 

Why was Vader always so eager to choke people's throats?

Because in that armour, it was hell chokin' his......nevermind.

 

What do Imperial Officer's call Vader's choking technique.

Retirement.

 

Why does the Empire use probe-droids instead of StormTroopers?

They want the enemy found.

 

What was Bobba thinking while holding his father's helmet?

"Maybe a shoe-horn will work."

 

What are Imperial pilot's granted after graduation?

The right to TIE one on.

 

Where are the Imperial fighters made?

TIEwan.

 

Why was Han always having so much trouble with the Falcon's hyperdrive?

Runnin' that fast, gerbils don't live very long.

 

Who made the shield generator found on Endor?

DISH Network.

 

What is the line most used by droid soldiers?

UH-OH.

 

What is the line most used by Jar-Jar?

UUUuuuuuhhmmmmm.......

 

When is the Jedi mind-trick most effective?

When it's used on Jar-Jar.