That guy who sparks up a convo while you're taking a piss.

One of my pet peeves...

So you've just had six cups of coffee and nature calls. so you head off to the restroom to take a squeege before you explode. Everything is nice and relaxing until he walks in. All you want to do is piss in silence, but this guy decides that it is social hour.

Common things heard are:

Hey there! I see we have the same bladder schedule...
So, you come here often?
Hmmm. So we're both standing here holding our *****...

This is even more of an uncomfortable situation if "Sir Johnny Talk-A-Lot" is some guy sitting on the toilet. Usually he says stupid loud things in pathetic attempt to cover up the obscene sounds coming out of his ass.

These are oftentimes followed by loud coughing as he does his business:

Woah! Look out! Here comes the motherload!
So, how 'bout them Yankees?

This is just the kind of stuff you don't want to deal with. Draining the weasel is a fleeting relief from the drudgery of the rat race, the one place that you don't have to answer questions or deal with people...
Except for, of course, that guy that talks to you while you're taking a piss.

=/

 

You think this is your special bush? Are you king of forest?

 

The next time this happens decapitate the ****er, then nail a note to his head explaining what happened to the next people who enter the crapper.

 

This should be mandatory

I don't know what girls do with their couches and whatnot, I don't care if you are my best friend, I still don't want to talk to you while I'm peeing.

 

If were going to talk about pee story's I have a pretty good one. I was working at the ambulance service and we were driving down the interstate at night and my partner had to go pee. He told me to pull over. He got out and started peeing next to the ambulance. I turned the emergency lights on so he was quite visible to the public and started to slowly drive away. The whole time he was cussing me and trying to zip up. I couldn't stop laughing.

 

In this situation I imagine I would be more bothered that "that guy" has wandered into the restroom for people with vaginas.

 

That would just make the situation even MORE awkward.

 

I'll never forget the time some drunk guy switched hands and then tried to high-five my friend at a Black Sabbath concert.

He really didn't understand why my friend would leave him hangin'

 

Just relax man....

 

I hate that guy.

 

Dude, check this out.

 

I don't like it when my girlfriends talk to me in the loos, and I don't even have to look at them, let alone stand near them. I can't imagine it being very pleasant for you guys.

 

I actually met one of my top-dollar donors for my India trip and my paid staff position next year whilst doing the urinal chat.

He's an exec. VP for the non-profit I'm going to work for. So it worked out quite nicely.

That said, I hate the pee-talk. Just get in, do your business, and leave. If you want to talk to somebody, do it later.

 

Yeah. The Urinal Code should always be followed without exception.

 

[image=http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/7257/turkcoxlp9.jpg]

 

Greatest stuff ever!

Slimy!

 

That's how I met Japes.

 

I piss over their shoes on purpose if they even try to talk to me.

 

Win

 

Is the water cold?

 

Even worse, I think, are the women who are on their way out that are trying to strike up a conversation when you have more pressing matters to attend to.

 

I endorse this course of action. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this.

 

We actually had a customer at the bookstore complain to us about the smell in the ladies room. When the other mgr. went to the bathroom to check, the stalls were all occupied. When she looked at the customer that was complaining for clarity, she pointed to the doors and said "Can't you do anything about that?"

"Well, we really have no system in place for controlling our customers bowel movements"

 

Uh yes, a few years back in Sugarland during a highschool football game a guy was shot in the face for pissing on that guys shoe. So watch who you're doing it to.