The Enemy Beside You: Bane's Inception (AU - TPM| /Obi-Angst) ~*~COMPLT Post 21 - 1/30~*~

Wow-wee, I just got majorly beat up by this plot bunny. I was very frightened. It had big sharp pointy teeth! [face_shocked]

First off, I have to say, I have never been a big fan of AU, but after all the stories I have been reading, this one just smacked me in the face. Sorry if anyone else has already done this, but it just kept crying out to be written.

With that said, here's the other problem. I only just finished typing this and have not had it beta read or re-read it myself. I'm really looking to see if this is something worth continuing. And further developing. So if there are typos or it's crappily written, please tell me so that I can fix it.

Now, for the disclaimers: I don't own it. Wish I did. Don't make money. Wish I did.

One more author's note:
<> = thoughts
{} = mental messages
[] = spoken in different language

PLEASE read and let me know what you think. Thanks.

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Desert Dawn


The planet was barren and dry, but amazingly enough sentient beings still inhabited the rock. Twin suns parched the land every sunrise, only allowing a slight reprieve during their absence. At this moment two beings and a droid headed for one of the few spaceports that signified life. The leader of the group was a tall man with Herculean features. His long brown hair draped his shoulders. Grey streaks belied his middle-aged face. His stance and stature conveyed confidence and wisdom. His commoner?s poncho hid the Jedi attire beneath it. As they approached the rim of the spaceport the Jedi Master glanced back at the handmaiden sent with him. The woman had also been clad in clothes that would better their anonymity. The Queen had requested that one of her attendants join him on his quest to learn about their refuge. Trailing behind the seventeen-year-old was a white and blue astromech droid answering to the call sign R2-D2. ?Padmé, stay close to me, these places are full of scum and villainy. Danger is always present.? The girl nodded and even in common clothes and her hair pulled back with braids, she still had a regal air about her. They continued on through the street until they found a number of dealer hutches. Stopping under an overhang, Qui-Gon pulled out his commlink. ?Padawan, I have found some Merchants, I will keep you informed with the proceedings. Is everything alright there??

?Yes, Master. No problems. I hope you will find what we need quickly.? Came the dutiful response.

?Me too. Qui-Gon out.? Clipping the comm back to his belt, he made his way to the closest shop. As they walked in, a chime announced their entrance.

A blue Toydarian flew out from behind a counter to greet them. ?What can I help thee with??

The Jedi stated their purpose, ?I need parts for a J-type 327 Nubian.?

A light shown in the floating creature?s eyes briefly before he recovered his dealer?s prowess. ?Nubian, eh? We have lots of that.? He hovered around the trio and called behind him, ?[Boy! Get in here now!]? Qui-Gon noted the malice in the voice but paid it no heed. ?Let me take thee out back to look around.? The Toydarian glanced back with an annoyed expression. He tapped a controller on his hip and called again, ?[Boy! I said get out here!]? A soft whimper was heard around a corner. Cautiously, a young boy came from the junkyard into the shop room. His hair was disheveled and dangled over his eyes. The ginger coloring barely recognizable through the dirt and grease. A bruise glistened on the boy?s right cheekbone. But what grabbed the newcomers? attention were the beautiful sea change eyes that exposed the emotions that lay deep inside. The boy only made brief eye contact as he remembered his station. The two visitors were socaptivated by what they saw, they barely heard the conversation between them.

?[I?m sorry, Master. I didn?t hear you.]? The boy had said in a voice so soft that they had to strain to hear it.

?[Don?t cross me. I have customers. I?ll deal with you later.]?

 

I'm ... shocked. And I so want more right now. I mean it - like NOW!

 

Fallen - Thank you, thank you, thank you. The only problem is I just finisned this and don't have anything else yet. But I'm working on it.

 

WAIT! Arldetta! Bad! You aren't supposed to stop there!! [face_shocked]

Ahh... right... I'm not even going to try and be too coherent...

Wow.

There, I said it...

More soon, I hope!

 

I have to agree with Bekka here. I want more!!!

And I have to agree with you too, Arledtta, in that normally I hate major AU's, but I love this. It is a very good start, and I can't wait for more...

: Ck sits back and stares impatiently at the screen waiting for next post:

 

omg what a nice twist i must have more of this!!!!

 

-- Screams "NOOOOOO!" and passes out --

 

That was wonderful! More, please!

 

Yes, you most definitely should go on! If you don't . . . if you quit after such a wonderful start . . .

 

You have no idea how happy I am right now. This story is absolutely my 'Diamond in the rough.' I only thought of it a few hours before the first post and I can't stop thinking about it even now. The opening is probably (and hopefully the last time) the rawest I have ever displayed. I will work my hardest to get the next section up, but I'm not sure when that might be. Sorry.

sheleigh - Thanks for checking it out.

CK - Thanks also, I never ever in my entire life would have thought that I would ever do AU. I was originally thinking of putting the plot bunny on the writer's resourse page for someone else, but it attacked me and said that I have to write it or it would start eating the other pets. So I did what it said.

Jenny - Thank you. More to come, hehehe

Fallen - I'm hurrying, really.

Natira_Megnan - Thanks. Will hopefully post soon.

odaona - I will not quit, I am a Jedi. More to come.


THANK YOU ALL!!!!! Sorry if you find "Iedos" suffers a bit due to this work, but it's got it's claws in me and I can't break free. (And I'm not sure I would even want to.) TTFN.

 

Wow...just...wow! *passes out with Bekka* I want more too!

 

MCK Thank you, thank you.

I'm so glad everyone like's it so far. I've just started the next bit. I hope to get it up by tonight, if not by tomorrow. Gotta go work on it now, TTFN.

 

Just discovered this. Please keep going!!!

Sabe126

 

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for directing me to this, it's perlov! (perfectly lovely)

Arldetta, this is one of the best AU ideas I have seen yet! Bravo!!!!

Encore, more please before I die!!!!!!!!!



P.S. Actually, my padawan had an idea a bit like this....Interesting!

 

WOW!!!


This is a good start...nice little twist...and here i thought while reading it that your were talking about Ani being the slave...then you go and throw that little curve ball in...

Can't wait to read what you come up with next...


PT

 

A GREAT START, Arldetta . WRITE MORE. SOON!!!

Aunecah_Skywalker

 

This is so good, I want more.

 

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!

 

** throws a temper tantrum**

 

Ugh, alright, I lied. This story is just going to be all raw material. I'm not entirely pleased with this next bit, so please all criticism welcome! Let me know if I should tear it down and start over. PLEASE!

Sabe126 - Welcome! And thanks. I am trying.

Jacinta - I don't know if I would call it perlov, but Thanks. I would be surprised if no one else thought of a similar AU. But I don't know if your Padawan and I are thinking the same thing. I guess you'll just have to read and wait.

PT - Hope this gives you more food for thought. I think that little twist, as you put it, is what demanded me to write it. Thanks, the next post is here.

Aunecah - I am humbled by your presence, Thank you.

obi-wannabe_1138 - Coming right up!

Sabercrazy - Glad you liked it.

Jenny - It's alright, child. Your post is here.


Without further ado,

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Tempers Rising

Tyaña clutched the boy to her chest. Her soft sable eyes held only warmth and love for the youth in her arms. Grey streaks had almost fully covered her fawn hair, which was kept tightly in a bun. Wrinkle lines etched the elder caregiver?s face, brought on by age and harsh living. The pale color of Obi-Wan?s skin worried her. Laying the boy down on one of the medical beds she gently turned him over to evaluate the injury. The blaster burn covered most of the boy?s left shoulder. Quickly, she stripped away the cloth, careful not to aggravate the wound further, she prepped him for Bacta immersion. Mumbling to herself as she worked, ?What have you gotten yourself into, child?? She did not expect an answer.

?It was a group of thieves. They were trying to shoot me. Will he be alright?? Came an angelic voice that tremored with concern. A young woman with chocolate brown eyes stepped up next to the bed. As the thoughtful healer pealed back the boy?s shirt, Padmé saw other markings across his back. Padmé closed her eyes to block out the site before her. Some of the scars were ugly gauges that never fully healed. Horrible visions bombarded her mind as she remembered the minor incursion at the junkshop. She realized the boy was often beat and Padmé could tell that fists were not the only weapons used on the young body.

Tyaña noticed the faint lines of tears on the girl?s face. ?He should be. It sounds like something our Obi would do. Poor child.? Without thought, the older gentlewoman wiped some of the youth?s scruffy hair away. Her delicate hand lighted to the bruise on his face.

At that moment, Obi-Wan?s eyelashes flickered. Opening just enough to take in his surroundings, he looked up at his friend. ?Tia?? he managed to croak, ?I didn?t d?? A minor spasm cut off his words. Even through the pain, Padmé could hear the disappointment underlying his words.

?Hush, little one. It?ll be all right. Sleep, child.? The healer comforted. Obi-Wan slid back into darkness. Cautiously, she picked the boy up and brought him over to a Bacta Tank. With the greatest care, Tyaña lowered the unconscious form into the warm liquid. When the boy was completely submerged, she thought about what he had said. Again she muttered to herself, ?He was hoping to die. Damn, Watto!? she hissed. Suddenly, Tyaña turned back to the girl, ?Who are you?? she asked defensively. Even though these strangers had brought him to her for care, Tyaña knew they were also the cause of his pain. However, Padmé had been vaguely listening as she was caught between two conversations.

Qui-Gon hovered by the entry talking to his Padawan, ?Anakin, we?ve had some problems come up.?

?What is it, Master? Did you get the parts?? The Jedi Apprentice questioned.

?No, The dealer has the pieces we?re looking for, but he will not accept Republic Dataries.?

?And you couldn?t persuade him?? Over the commlink, Qui-Gon could hear the smug smile.

?No, I was hoping we would have been returning with

 

It works. So I guess Anakin isn't the Chosen One here right And since Yoda pushed Qui-Gon to take him, Ani must not be destined to fall? And Obi... Watto needs to die

 

i really like this maybe obiwan is the chosen one

 

Ahh... wow! Excellent, Arldetta!

But, if Anakin isn't the chosen one, and isn't going to fall... does that mean Obi-Wan will...?

And will Anakin be forced to train him, if Qui-Gon dies? Or will Qui-Gon not die? ohh... the questions...

 

Very nice! More soon please!

 

Ah hah! This is totally awesome Arldetta!!
[waves_hand] you will post more[/waves_hand]