The WORST Songs of All Time

Okay, we have plenty of threads about the "best" so-and-so...how about the WORST songs? Here are mine:

- Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner (If you get near a song, play it!)

- Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You (the last two minutes or so are a perfect textbook example of what NOT to do when you're a singer...namely, oversing until everyone's head explodes)

- Ja Rule and Ashanti - Mesmerize (Just godawful. What more can I say?)

Thoughts?

 

Other songs in the Jukebox from Hell:

1. Ebony and Ivory -- great idea, but the song is annoying, one of those songs that won't get out of your head.

2. Mambo No. 5 -- kinda neat at first, but it got played into the ground.

3. Crocodile Rock by Elton John -- Naaaaa na na na na naaaa ....

4. Vogue by Madonna. A sad desperate act by the Queen of Trash to link herself to people with class and style.

5. Physical by Olivia Newton John. Ughh.

I am sure there are more gems that will come to me later.

EDIT: Anything by Suzanne Vega is torture. I must agree with you on that one.

Also, stay away from William Shatner singing Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds. It was funny at first in a campy kind of way, but after repeated hearings, it makes me want to rip out my eardrums.

EDIT: How could I forget the Macarena or Achy Breaky Heart?

 

I almost forgot...

"Who Let the Dogs Out"

 

Great list, ratmankey!

Proof that what is popular is not always what is good.

I should also mention Milli Vanilli, but I must admit that a buddy of mine talked me into going to see them on tour in 1989 as part of the Club MTV concert. God, what a colossal waste of money. I was a sophomore in college surrounded by prepubescent screaming teenage girls. Tone Loc, Paula Abdul, Was Not Was, and Information Society rounded out the bill. At least I did not buy a Milli Vanilli shirt like my friend did. And I have not let him forget it, either.

 

"I'm like a bird . . . " *heaves*

Oh and Margaritaville. More nausea.

 

"Ice Ice Baby"
"You Can't Touch This"
"I'm Too Sexy"

I hated the early 90s!

 

If you don't live in the UK this probably won't mean anything to you but how about the astonishing number 7 hit

Snooker loopy nuts are we

 

"Ice Ice Baby" and "you can't touch this" are classics.


"The Macarena" is the worst song ever made in the history of MANKIND.

 

I'd have to say anything that comes out of Courtney Love's mouth.

 

I'D have to say anything that comes out of Celine Dion's mouth.

 

Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized

I don't even want to call that a song.

 

I refuse to believe there is a song worse than this. I can't stop laughing when I hear it. It does not seem like a country song either. Some people found it touching. The concept is good, but the lyrics make this song hilarious at times.

It's Mark Wills' Don't Laugh At Me. Let's enjoy:

I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet

I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone cross that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

 

Also, stay away from William Shatner singing Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds. It was funny at first in a campy kind of way, but after repeated hearings, it makes me want to rip out my eardrums.

I think in yesterday's USA Today (could be another day) they voted that song as the worst Beatles cover song.

I hate Journey's "Open Arms"

I hate anything by Dave Matthews Band.

I went on vacation, and I forgot what Gawd Awful song was on the radio, but I didn't hear it on vacation....then I come back 2 weeks latter and I was ready to bust my eardrums.

Didn't Carrie Fisher sing a song on the "Star Wars Special" on tv, "the Life Song"?

edited:

Oh, I hate "Butterfly Kisses"

Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner I rather hear that then "Toy Soldiers" (I think it's the same person)

 

anything nelly has ever put out.
eifle 65's blue.
macarena
shania twain's UP

 

Actually, Toy Soldiers was by someone called Martika. She was your basic nobody but I think she had some kind of relationship with Prince. I'm Casey Kasem and the countdown continues...

Tom's Diner - When that song came out, there was a DJ who, for months, called the song Tom's Dinner. Not as a joke, he really did misunderstand, or the station spelled it wrong on their inventory. A few times he asked on air why the hell it was called Tom's Dinner and what the hell was he eating?

My pick for worst song - and I know it will be a very unpopular choice: American Pie. I just don't get the love that exists for that thing. It's so painfully long, the sentences are incoherent, personally I think McLean's voice is annoying, and to this day I don't know why he's going to die or why it seems like it's a good thing that he will. And how many dramatic pauses can you put in one song? Well if it's ten minutes long, I guess quite a lot.

Whew [/rant]

 

Dude, "American Pie" was all about rites of passage, losing one's innocence (and faith) and growing up. The whole first verse was about the February 1959 death of Buddy Holly, "the day the music died" and a tragedy that pretty much marked the end of the 1950's and the Golden Age of Rock n' Roll for that generation. And the chorus refers to drunk rednecks by an empty gas station joking about Holly's death with the line of his signature song, "That'll Be The Day That I Die."

The second verse was about McLean's personal life, the day his girlfriend ditched him at a high school dance. I'm not sure what the next two verses referred to, but in the fifth one McLean sung about the infamous 1969 Altamont concert where the Hell's Angels biker gang stabbed a black man to death in front of the performing Rolling Stones -- a tragedy that pretty much marked the end of the 1960's and the hippie era.

 

The whole first verse was about the February 1959 death of Buddy Holly,

And Richie Valens and the Big Bopper if my memory serves. Those three were huge for McLean's generation, and they all three died at the same time. Its a big deal to the people who grew up on the music.

Hmmm, my choices.

Who Let the Dogs out, of course.

I'm with you, by Avirl LaSuck.

 

Anything by Steps, and anything by Busted. God, what an awful group.

 

Good lord, some of your choices are classic! Dont you ever go dissin on McLean around me!

Out of YOUR worst picks, here's what I disagree with-

Avril Lavigne- I'm with you
Who Let the Dogs out (classic stuff!)
Eiffel 65- Blue (used to be my favorite song for a long time. They are still one of my favorite bands)
Dave Matthews Band
Mambo #5 (I still dance around to that one whenever I hear it)
And Celine Dion has done some good stuff. Well...one song...yeah, definately "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" is a great one, but that is it for her, hehe


Everything else I gotta agree on. I'd hafta add the third track off Creed's Weathered album, too. OK, like, it's 8 minutes long or something insane like that, and if I recall, it's just repeating the same phrase over and over. Like, they're trying to put you in a trance or soemthing, but it doesn't work.

 

Leonard Nimoy: The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.
Worst. Song. Ever.

 

When I first heard "American Pie", I thought it was cool, but I find it too maudlin. Compared to "Kashmire" by Led Zeppelin, another long song, "American Pie" just goes on as a graceless movie star who doens't want to realize her carreer is over, and tries to make a comeback. "American Pie" lost it's grace. first time I heard it, maybe it was the hook or a novelty or turns of phrases that was endearing, but now it just is a overblown piece of work.

my 2 cents.

 

The Macarena is the worst song ever.

 

This ought to be fun.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Come as you are" by Nirvana. - Pure, undiluted crap.

The Macarena

ANYTHING by Eminem

Rap.

 

oh, and thanks for clearing up about who sang "Toy Soldiers". I hate it.

I remember "Skater Boy" back in the fall was driving me nuts. Then I go on vacation in Hawaii for 2 weeks, and they play a lot of songs by Iz, which is cool...then I come back home, and I hear "Skater Boy". I even heard it yesterday! ugh.

 

The Macarana and songs of a similar nature.