Thread # 1: Sting, The Most Boring Mammal On Earth And Beyond

My annoyance with him started with this:

[image=http://www.costnet.com/sting-raoni-rainforest-save-jp-dutilleix.jpg]

Somewhere during the 80s -- pay attention, kids and psychologists -- Sting got it in his mind to help save the rain forest. It was all very noble and deadly serious, as you can see in the picture -- this was Serious Rock Star Charity. It was Bono without the SUNGLASSES. He looked as if he had conceived Chief Raoni himself, and that lip, that had us kids in stitches, was Seriously Respectable. The Chief looks as if he doesn't really understand what that guy is doing in his territory, but as later photographs would show, he didn't mind being pictured with him again and again and again. It became so freakishly annoying to see them standing side by side, staring into a camera lens, that I honestly considered taking a jerrycan and an axe to South-America and cut that whole damn rain forest by myself. Understand I do not have anything against people who try to save forests, some of my best friends have nothing against people who try to save forests, but really, who cares about it? I hear the ice caps are melting. So what? I wasn't going there anyway. I rather have a warm Summer. And you know what? When teachers at school talked about the endangered rain forests, I deliberately looked out of the window and thought of totally different, non-rain-forest-related things.

[image=http://www.wallpapers.cz/music/sting.jpg] Sting Caring About The World

Then, the universal superman / songwriter discovered yoga. And of course, that illuminating idea was brought to us with the same sort of zealot fanaticism that had made us indifferent to the fate of the rain forests. Sting (real name: Gordon Sumner, Cross-Legged Idiot) could not praise yoga enough. It had given him infinitely more physical energy. It was this, that, God, sex, quotes from all kinds of sacred Indian texts were thrown around. He could do anything with his body, in fact, he could do anything with it but shut up about it.

[image=http://www.mit.edu/people/hayley/sting.jpg] Sting Contemplating Life And The Universe

Sometimes, I find myself complaining about Sting to other people, and they always say, "Yeah, but he made some good songs with The Police." But he didn't, not at all. Stop saying that. He made that abominable non-song Roxanne, sung, for reasons unexplained, in a headache-inducing falsetto, and the sort of redeeming aspect according to those people was that it was about a hooker. Very daring, that. Sting, observer of louche nightlife. What was that song about? Did he try to "convert" the hooker? Yes he did, because everything has to be as boring as Sting. If he lived in the woods, he'd be a wild BORE. If he'd dabble in physics, his name would be Nils BORE. If he was a soldier, and he went missing in combat, probably in some thick rain forest, he'd be filed as BORING in action. Also, there was the bothersome Message In A Bottle, a song that if it gets stuck in your head makes you want to go on a killing spree, and worse, Every Breath You Take, a stalker's tale of love and restraining orders. And I Can't Stand Losing that I can't stand hearing.

[image=http://zzyx.ucsc.edu/~jazz/sting.gif] Sting Laughing At A Joke

Statement: all his recent (1990 onwards) songs sound alike. He just keeps releasing the same song over and over again. Slow tempo, soft, whispered vocals, dreamy guitar notes. Where music is dead, Sting is king. Excitement is verboten in Sting's whore-less, rain-forest-covered world. I stepped on a plane late one night in New York, after a long stay, and as you do, you sometimes get a little emotional. Windy airport, dark skies, people speaking quietly, people dozing off, and in the background: Fragile by Sting, of all freaking songs. Immediately, I felt like hijacking the plane. If I were Bruce Banner, hearing Sting would make me change into the Hulk.

To be an even more Mach-5 ultra-superior übermensch, he once had his nose fixed. After that, there wa

 

*comes into the thread only to look at the Sting pics*

 

He just keeps releasing the same song over and over again. Slow tempo, soft, whispered vocals, dreamy guitar notes.

Yep. While since I'm an 80's chick, I loved the Police, all Sting's music since then feels like he's trying to put us all in a mind-numbing fugue.

 

[image=http://www.wallpapers.cz/music/sting.jpg]

NIPPLE





And I like the police, you fiend. Although his pensivity gets to me.

 

tl, dr

*comes into the thread only to look at the Sting pics*



me too. Nice collection.

 

I luv Debo threads.

 

hey now, The Police and Sting both are the sources of a lot of great music, you big jerk.

 

I've hated this Sting man since I first listened to Nada como el sol. Hey, if you're releasing a song in Spanish, try not to translate it with Babelfish. Man.

And what about Dune?

 

Geez, VF. If I had known you liked Sting, I would've rubbed the fact that I'm going to a concert next month in your face a lot earlier.



What about Dune? Pure 80's cheesiness in it's near greatest glory. Either you love it or you don't.

 

I can't say I'm a big Sting fan, however:

Fields Of Gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley?
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold
See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

I LOVE that song.

 

i told you long ago, maulsflyer. pay attention next time. >

 

"Russians love their children too".


Well, duh, Gordon. DUH!.

 

i disagree with debo on this issue

 

Can I get an amen for brother Debo?

 

I think Bono suffers from the exact same "Boring" disease. Why are they so serious?

 

Add Eddie Vedder to that list. kthaxbye.

 

Add whining JC geeks to that list as well.

Sting > Whining JC geeks.

 

I also disagree with Debo on this issue.


Funny read, though.

 

"Thread # 1"

I have a problem with this statement. This obviously not the first thread to be posted in these forums. It would be fitting that the YJCC God would post the first thread in this forum, but he missed his chance by a couple of years. There are those less intelligent than me who may believe that this was the first thread ever posted. Please thing of the idiots okay? Don't want them getting the wrong impression.

One could also take this as meaning the first Debo thread ever. This is certainly not the case either. I've been watching. I would certainly have liked this to be the first thread, meaning Debo could only get better and better, but again, he missed his chance by a couple of years.

One could believe this is #1 in a new line of Debo threads. This makes me feel as excited as like a schoolgirl on heat. I don't want to get too excited however, as if this isn't the first in a new series of threads, I'll sink into depression, become a deranged individual and dedicate my life plotting the downfall of Debo.

An explanation would be appreciated. ?

 

Debo's still got it. And he's also got the testicular fortitude to tell the truth about one boring individual.

AYBABTU?

 

And what about Dune?

LOL!

Too Funny...but I don't know why!

 

Sorry, but no one tops Bono in the boring department.

 

Sting has taken enough DMT in one setting to kill a horse, in those regards he's quite impressive.

 

In boring Sting news

---

The only dissenting voice in what was otherwise a shamelessly commercial event [the Billboard Music awards] belonged to [b]Sting[/b], who received the Century Award for creative achievement because his album and single sales from his time with The Police and since have now topped 100 million.

Receiving the award from Stevie Wonder, he said selling records was not really the point.

"You can sing for millions of people or maybe just one," he said.

"You can sell millions of records or none at all. It doesn't really matter. If you play music with passion and love and honesty, then it will nourish your soul, heal your wounds and make your life worth living." [hr][/blockquote]

YAWN!

 

Huh? Wha?? I'm sorry... I dozed off reading Sting's comments.

AYBABTU?