Saga Dissonant Echoes of a Fragmented Mind (Vader/Ami - AU EpIII) Thank You!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Star Wars, just writing for fun.

Summary:

"What do you remember of your mother? Your real mother?"

"My mother? She was very beautiful. And very sad. She died when I was very young."

-- From The Return of the Jedi

What if the woman Leia knew as her mother was not Padme? What if Padme's fate was very different from what we all believed?

Author's note: This plot bunny came from reading one of obaona's numerous vignettes. I have a fuzzy outline for this one, and I'm not sure how often I can update. But, enjoy...

 

Dissonant Echoes of a Fragmented Mind

Chapter One

?My lord, the ship has landed.? The aide summons all his courage to keep his voice steady as he speaks.

?Very good, lieutenant,? rumbles the response.

?I shall prepare your escort at once.? The aide bows and prepares to retreat from the chambers which frighten him with their very sterility and strangeness.

?Do not bother. I do not require an escort.?

?As you wish, my lord.? Quickly, the aide leaves the chambers, holding his breath until the doors slide shut behind him.

Alone in his chambers, alone as he has been for months, for weeks, in body and in mind and in soul, Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith rises from his chair. His mechanical breathing apparatus does not permit unprogrammed breathing, and so Vader cannot sigh. But he takes a minute to compose himself before he leaves his chambers.

He hates leaving his chambers. He hates the stares of avid curiosity and fear the crew give him. He hates knowing that he is a freak. He should be dead. And in fact, his soul feels dead. Feels that it died with the last message he received from his beloved wife Padmé. Feels frequently that it would be worthwhile to join the Darkness within him forever.

?You?re no longer the man I married,? the message said. ?You?ve changed. You frighten me. I cannot trust you. I?I cannot say I do not love you. I can never stop loving you. But I?m dead to you as you are to me. Do not try to find me.?

It has been a year since he received that message. A year bereft of sunlight, of laughter, of joy, of hope. A year in which there was only the Dark bliss of doing as his master bid. A year in which he learned of the satisfaction and the malevolent glee that can come from destruction, devastation and terror. There is nothing else left for him now.

He heads toward the door and it slides open. Holding his head high and ignoring the way the activity in the corridor has suddenly stilled, as the men freeze, watching him fearfully, he makes his way toward the exit ramp.

A contingent of stormtroopers stands just outside the ramp, and they salute him as he disembarks into the bright sunlight.

Vader ignores them as he looks around. He is not surprised by what he sees. The planet is a primitive one. Aksala, an Outer Rim planet which paid lip service to the Emperor, has ignored Palpatine?s calls for payment of taxes. Perhaps they assumed that a small, backwater system such as their own would be overlooked. They should have known better. Palpatine sees all. And his vengeance is terrible. They should be thankful that Vader has come in the Emperor?s stead to deal with their recalcitrance.

The spaceport of Emon?the capital city of Aksala?is small, and the denizens of this world do not know to observe proper etiquette. There is no welcoming party for the Dark Lord. There is no acknowledgement of his presence. The few individuals who are in the spaceport ignore the Dark Lord initially, but still in awe as they feel the chill that emanates from his ebony form.

Vader ignores them. There will be a time for reckoning. But for now, he wants to walk undisturbed. He wants to observe. He wants to formulate his own opinions. And then he will do what must be done.

Vader leaves the spaceport. A company of stormtroopers follows him at a discreet distance, despite his orders to the contrary. Vader ignores this. He knew this would happen. He is too important to be allowed to walk completely alone. But he knows the stormtroopers will not disturb him, and so he says nothing.

Emon does not appear to have kept up with the rest of the galaxy. The houses are primitive. The people dress simply. Aksala is an agrarian planet, and Vader sees that most of the citizens who walk the streets are farmers or simple merchants. The shops are plain. There are few droids or speeders about the streets, and those appear to belong to the few who are wealthy. Beasts of burden still carry wares to the markets. People still walk. The citizens of Emon appear to b

 

Vader takes one step forward, and is unable to stop himself from speaking:

?Padmé.?



WOW! That was fantastic! Just a little plot bunny, but they are the fun ones, huh? Can't wait for more.

 

Whoa! That certainly is different, LP! Interesting...I'll definately have to follow this one. After all, it has Vader in it. (Not to mention you're the author )

 

Great start! I will try my best to keep up with this, as DRL seems to think that I enjoy being tortured. But I love this so far, and can't wait to see what you have planned!

--later--
6669

 

You're starting another story? Wow, you're prolific. I'll try to keep up with this one. It looks interesting. I'm wondering if Padme has the twins with her, or are they hidden.

 

Great start! I'll read!

 

A very interesting concept. I like it so far.

 

Wow, not another LP fic!! You put the rest of us to shame. Interesting concept, particularly in the light of recent rumours.

 

Intriguing, most intriguing.

It has been a year since he received that message. A year bereft of sunlight, of laughter, of joy, of hope. A year in which there was only the Dark bliss of doing as his master bid. A year in which he learned of the satisfaction and the malevolent glee that can come from destruction, devastation and terror. There is nothing else left for him now.

I like that very, very much. Vader distilled. Is it really Padmé he sees? Never mind, I know perfectly well that you won't say. Very interesting, though!

 

TKeira_Lea: You know, when those plot bunnies bite, they can be VICIOUS!

ViariSkywalker: Hey, Viari! Great to see you along!

Darth_Leia6669: Welcome to the story. * kicks DRL * Hope to see more of you

Jedi-2B: My dear, you know my standard answer to all speculation, right?

LadyZ: Great to see you again! Hope you enjoy.

CrystalKenobi: Welcome to the fic. Thanks!

Sock_of_Darth_Vader: Rumors? Why do I miss everything? What rumors?

Gabri_Jade: Is it really Padmé he sees? Never mind, I know perfectly well that you won't say.

- Of course not!





...runs....

 

Spoiler-type rumours, LP. Not allowed on this board

 

You know, when those plot bunnies bite, they can be VICIOUS! Yes, but then you must worry if they are rabid or not. I had my rabies shots and for a tough cookie they reduced me to a sniveling cry-baby So if you have been bitten take extreme care.

My bunnies on the other hand need to be spayed and neutered. I prefer emasculating the male bunnies as a first step, but at the point they are multiplying in my head any form of birth control will do. I have so many baby bunnies running around in my brain that need to be written but oh-so little time.

BTW - can you give us a heads-up when it comes time to post here since this will be a from-time-to-timer ?

 

excellent story, keep going!!!!1

 

Sock_of_Darth_Vader: No rumors allowed? Well that stinks!

TKeira_Lea: Will put up another postie tomorrow.

tvdunlop: Welcome to the story. Thanks!

 

Very interesting premise. Nice to see something so unique and original.

'She draws nearer to him, and Vader suddenly finds himself unable to move.'

I think our Dark Lord is in for a rough time of it.

 

Thank you for coming in to the thread, Reihla!

---

[b]Chapter Two[/b]

The girl does not react to Vader?s greeting. She continues to walk past him. He is dumbfounded. It?s not possible that she doesn?t know who he is. He wonders for a moment if she is just a girl who looks remarkably like Padmé. And she [i]does[/i] look remarkably like Padmé. The same large, brown eyes with the gently arching eyebrows that he liked to trace as she had lain in his arms. The same shapely nose. The same tender rose-petal lips. The same stubborn chin. The same thick, lustrous brown hair. He reaches for her through the Force. For the first time in months, he forces himself to be gentle as he probes. He doesn?t want to frighten her. What he feels from her is disquieting to say the least. She feels like Padmé. But she doesn?t. There are some resonant echoes that tug sharply at the heart he thought he?d killed. And there are some jarring notes that he doesn?t recognize.

She reaches the well and sets down her buckets. She turns the windlass. She pulls up the large well bucket dripping with cool water. As the bucket nears the top of the well, she seems to have some difficulty pulling it over the rim of the well, and she pants a little from the exertion. She does not ask for help from passersby; in fact, she does not look up from her task.

Vader watches her struggle with the bucket and finally, he can stand it no longer. He levitates the bucket with the Force. She does not react to his assistance. She tilts the lifted well-bucket and pours the water into her own buckets. Calmly, she sends the well bucket back down to the bottom of the well. She turns and starts to hoist the pole back over her thin shoulders. She seems too weak and fragile to manage such an onerous task, but still, she does not ask for help.

?Let me help you,? Vader says, approaching. He still cannot believe that she has not acknowledged him or spoken. He is even more surprised when she rises with her burden and wordlessly turns away from him to walk back to whence she came.

For a moment, the sheer surprise freezes Vader in his tracks. Were it anyone else who treated him in this way, the punishment would have been swift and final. This woman, this enigma, this almost-Padmé stirs to life parts of him better dead. He follows her, drawn inexorably to her wake.

He tries to speak to her again. ?Who are you??

No response. He draws alongside her and peers more closely into her face. He looks into the eyes again. And now he realizes with a chill, that there is no recognition of him in those eyes because there does not appear to be recognition of anything. The eyes are glassy and he sees through them clearly to the depths of her soul. And he sees nothing but transparent air and glassy reflection.

?What is your name?? he tries again.

And still, she continues walking, as if drawn by an invisible power toward her unknown destination.

And no more able to stop himself, Vader continues to follow her. His thoughts go back through the days, the weeks, the months, back through the doors, which he thought he had sealed forever. He cannot help but let down the barriers he had sworn he would never breach. He thinks back to those horrible first days and weeks after he had received Padmé?s message.

He was still Anakin Skywalker then. He had still not made the final, terrible commitment of his soul to the Sith. He was struggling with confusion, still had not cut the last, gossamer-fine cord that tied him yet to the Jedi Order, that still marked him as Obi-Wan?s apprentice.

Padmé?s disappearance was the ultimate impetus that drove him from the light. For weeks, Anakin disobeyed orders from all his masters, Dark or Light. His rage and fear and fury and anguish swirled about his mind obliterating all other thought. He could see nothing but Padmé?s face, hear nothing but her voice. He saw her while awake and asleep. He saw her in his dreams. He saw her in every woman he encountered, though days and weeks of fruitless searching.

He had no clear recollect

 

Oh my this was just awesome. Could he have found Padme. I love the part about If only Obiwan had told him. Makes me wonder.

 

Notwithstanding my immense jealousy at your truly astounding prolificness (is that a word?), I got hooked on this fic. The premise is definitely an intriguing one and the execution in the first two posts is excellent.

You've really found a way to tell the story from Vader's point of view and yet make the perspective seem distant and aloof -- as if Vader himself is living in a surreal fog and feels unconnected from reality. So near in time to his fall this makes perfect sense to me.

I'll admit, my assumption going in was that the fragmented mind would be Vader's...... Hmm.

And you bring home so clearly how little of Anakin is left and how dark Vader has become with those Force-chokes. Eeek! That wasn't really necessary, big guy.....

Finally, I wanted to mention the present-tense narration. I can't quite explain why but I think it contributes a lot to the feel of the story. I'd be interested to know why you chose this technique, unless there's a story-related reason you'd prefer not to say right now.

Looking forward to more.

 

Falls on floor weeping...







Can't really say more; I am at a loss for words except brilliant.

Boy, that plot bunny bit down and took hold. [I keep having visions of Monty Pyton's Holy Grail]

Can't wait for more

 

another awesome post......you describe the chacacters very well!!!!!!!

 

Hey, this story is getting even more interesting!!! Great idea!

 

He is more convinced than ever that his search is over. And he has never felt more desolate in his life.

Good point - he finally finds his angel (or so he thinks) but she's not really her.

Does that make any sense?

I love it though, so please up soon!

JS

 

At first, he wonders if she has put up barriers against his Force-probe, but then he realizes he has clear entry into her mind. She has no thoughts that he can capture. There are only swirling, evanescent, evasive perceptions and impressions that he cannot grasp.

*shivers* Oooooh.

I'm trying to think of something else to say, but it's not working. I think you've rendered me speechless. This just gets more and more intriguing.

 

CrystalKenobi: Could he have found Padme? * grins * Well, I'll let you guys stew over this one a little longer

Darth_Lex: Oooh! So excited that someone has commented on the present tense writing! I haven't written in present tense since my 4th grade turkey story ("Hi, my name is Tanya Turkey, and it's the 26th of November. Hey...what are those men coming for with those long metal sticks? Ouch! He shot me! Hey, that hurts!...") , so, this is sort of a way of getting back in the saddle so to speak with this one...

...also, I did want the present tense writing to contribute to a surreal quality. Originally, I was only going to use it when I got inside characters' heads, but then decided it would be more fun to write the whole fic this way to give it an "I'm on an acid trip" type of feel. NOT that I have any notion what an acid trip feels like, but that's the whole point of having an imagination. Besides, I've seen people on drugs, and they sure have that stupid, unconnected look/feel to them.

TKeira_Lea: Thank you! * hands some Kleenex *

tvdunlop: Thank you. I'm glad you like it

LadyZ: Thanks

Jazz_Skywalker: Welcome to the story! Glad you like what you see so far!

Gabri_Jade: OOOH! You're intrigued? Now I know I've done a good job!

Will put up next post on Monday, November 3