Title: Of Two Minds Author: JSolo-Wan Timeframe: 21 BBY (Clone Wars) Genre: Angst, Drama Summary: A young, troubled Jedi desperately wants to trust the Order, but is slowly, painfully being pulled away by her doubts... Subterranean CIS base near Theed This part was fun at least. She could have clapped her hands in giddiness. This stuff, she was good at. She, saber, and blaster bolts were part of a choreographed ballet...and it was beautiful. At times like these, she could almost feel like a Jedi. But not quite. It was never quite right. But to be a bird soaring on the wind, high above the ground? Moments when she truly felt like Master Yoda’s proverbial luminous being, in touch with both the force and herself? Those moments were to die for. Three droids got into position behind large chunks of machinery at the far end of the subterranean hallway that she, her master, and their clone squad were working their way down, and added their fire to the fray. Thankfully, there had not been a lot of resistance down here, and they were probably close to the target already,... Lirey and Master Fen-Li were in the center of their group, leading the advance, clones on either side of them, her purple saber blade weaving up and down, back and forth, in a blur.It’s like dancing. She felt boundless when she was like this. She tempered it a bit, slowed her dance. A Jedi shouldn’t enjoy battle, right? Sure, these were only droids they were destroying, not sentient beings, but, on the flip side, clones could die too, and it’s not like they weren’t here to capture a living, breathing being who no doubt would not enjoy his capture. She let her stride slow a little. No, this shouldn’t be enjoyed. No doubt her Master had sensed her feelings already, though…. “Bravo Leader, this is Alpha Leader. The surface is ours,” her master’s comm crackled. “Good. We’re almost at Zoan,” he responded quickly. He ducked behind some debris to focus on his datapad, which was displaying a map of where they were in the facility, and roughly where their quarry was expected to be. Then, to the clones around him, “Cover for us. It’s one of these rooms,” He indicated two doors, one on either side of them. “That door, Lirey,” He pointed at one of them. “I’ll check the other one.” She nodded quickly, then prepared to charge through the door. she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to sink into the force. Then, without warning, she threw her eyes open and burst through, saber up and ready to deflect any unfriendly blaster bolts. It was pitch black in the room, except for the glow of her saber. No one shot at her. She raised her lightsaber, trying to see around her by its light. She couldn’t see the walls—the room must have been quite large. She walked forward slowly, cautiously. What’s that? A shape. Like a big box. She couldn’t see anything more yet. She approached warily. It looks like an…escape pod? It took another moment for her to see the Toydarian’s form near the entrance. Zoan. But it wasn’t far. She could get there before he even got in, let alone took off. He knew it too. He had stopped walking and faced her, his back to the interior of the pod. “Hello, girly,” His voice rasped. She took a step forward, beginning the by-now rote monologue. “Zoan. You are under arrest by the Republic for--” “The crime of seeking a little freedom from your corrupt government?” He interrupted agitatedly. She mentally fidgeted uncomfortably. The government wasn’t exactly the model of transparency. It wasn’t advertised, especially to the Padawans, but she knew it. Of course she knew it. But duty first, contemplation….some other time. When? When will you finally sit down and think this through? You think you’re a good person? Fighting, killing, and you don’t even know if you think it’s worth it? She tried to stifle her rebellious thoughts. Duty first. After all, surely the council knew what they were doing.They were wise and just, right? She could trust her troubled soul to them….right? She forced her mind towards the situation at hand, even as she felt the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that doing so was abandoning the Light for the sake of….something. Convenience? What was it? She forced the next words out, nearly choking on them, “-crimes of treason against the-” “Mindless Jedi! You believe everything they tell you?” He was gesticulating wildly with both his hands now. A moment passed in silence. She couldn’t continue. Oh, curses. Now? He has to bring this up now? I can’t deal with this! I’m seventeen and my teachers tell me this is good and right and just and fair and I can’t think this through all over again—not now, not with this entire operation hinging on your arrest! But she had to respond. To him, and to herself. “The Republic is a democracy, it is for and of the people. If you have a problem with it, you vote, you don’t just--” “Nonsense! It’s a club, it’s corrupt—and you Jedi defend its oppression!” “It-we-we defend peace!” She wanted to cry. Was he right? And if he was right, the Council was…not right. Wrong. A pack of fools. A pack of preachy fools who weren’t doing things nearly as righteously as they thought they were. But that wasn’t true. They were good. Long, pent-up frustration rose within her-- He laughed derisively. He knew he was getting to her, and pressed his advantage, “And you defend it by…killing those who disagree?” “I’m not going to kill you, I’m just arresting you!” “And what do you think they’re going to do with me when they get ahold of me, eh? I’m an escape artist—they won’t let me live,” And he was right too. She’d been briefed, if possible alive, but if not…well, he’ll be sentenced to death anyway. “Listen, girly—you ‘re not so sure. You let them get me, I die. You ready to live with that, eh? Eh?” He let his accusation hang in the air. She was quiet. Her heart beat once. Twice. Three times. And still she did not know what to do. She let her blade lower, defeated. He smiled. He turned around. And then her Master came through the doorway. “Lirey? He wasn’t in the other--” He stopped short. He would see her, her blade lowered, tip chewing a hole into the ground it was touching. And he would see Zoan. She wasn’t worried about the capture. Her master would stop him and make the arrest. No one would know of her doubts, and for that she was relieved. She shut off her lightsaber, re-holstering the metal hilt on her waist-strap. It felt heavy.
