Discussion THIS IS MADNESS - Your craziest fic ideas EVAR

*cracks knuckles*

HOKAY! After consultation with Bri and Mav on what should be appropriate for this topic, I've decided to go ahead and start a chat about sharing your most utterly improbable, off-the-wall, nutty, never-in-a-million-years, ridonkulous, I-don't-even fic ideas and plot bunnies that you may have once-upon-a-time considered writing and are either SO glad you didn't, or are embarrassed that you did (and have done your best to bury the evidence ).

HOWEVER...to keep this thread within the TOS and on track, here are some very important ground rules:

1. This is NOT a resource thread to ask for help writing stories that you actually DO intend to keep working on and/or complete. This discussion is only meant for truly abandoned plots that will never be finished.
2. What this IS is a place to talk about the weird and wonky ideas that have hit you upside the head at some point and made you think, "...Should I? Ehhh, nah." (It's okay to bring up stories that you've technically begun but have never posted and will not post.)
3. To clarify some more, no discussing pieces that you're currently working on or fics that you've managed to post somewhere to any length.
4. IF anyone does suddenly decide that one of these plots should or will be written out for posting, announce it to the thread and discussion on that particular idea will end. Asking to be tagged or notified about a bunny adoption is fine. PMs can be used if you want to continue talking about that story or want input on working it out.
5. Please, no fic pimping! Do not post any excerpts here or links to fics in this forum or on any other website.
6. And please, no bunny thefts without permission! If you just feel totally inspired by something here, ask the original poster if they're willing to share and take it away from the thread.

Again, to summarize, this is just a thread for "releasing crazy plot bunnies back into the wild" to roam free, where they can never traumatize readers. On a personal note, I'm sure the majority of these will be silly and crack-y, but that doesn't mean serious, non-funny bad ideas can't be brought up either. (My own actually isn't funny at all, although it may be unintentionally hilarious just from sheer stupidity.) With that said, let's please refrain from discussing bunnies that would be impossible because of elements that would outright violate the TOS, such as extreme graphic violence, adult content, etc. I know, Captain Obvious, but I'm just stating it as a formality; I'm sure everyone understands that.

Briannakin and mavjade, let me know if I've forgotten anything and I'll add it up here.

Alright, enough of that, and proceed with the cathartic insanity!

 

This thread has Briannakin's seal of approval.

I shall start this off with 3 of my crazier ideas.

1. This fic is actually half started somewhere on the depths of my external hard drive, and it will never see the light of day. I think I was originally inspired by the marriage of Harrison Ford to Calista Flockheart a few years ago. It was BASICALLY set sometime in the later NRE where Leia died, Han was depressed, Han sent the Solo kids to live with Luke, and Han (somehow) ended up in the arms of Callista Ming. The story was basically going to be about Han and Callista's wedding and how the unapproving Solo kids tried to ruin it. I think I also had a really pregnant, grumpy Mara for some reason. I tried to finish it on numerous occasions to post for April Fools, but I think every time I open it, it even scares me.

2. The Lion King, done with Star Wars characters! Luke was going to be Mufasa, Ben was going to be Simba, Jysella was to be Nalla, Mara was going to be Sarabi, Leia was to be Scar (I was going to imply that Han had died at the hands of Darth Vader), the Yuuzhan Vong were going to be the hyenas, Yoda was going to be Raffikki, and Wes and Hobbie were going to be Timon and Pumba. I even went through the movie and made up chapters for each of the chapters/scenes of the movie and converted it into the SW-verse. What killed it was the fact that I had made it half way through the movie and I had plotted out 5 fairly long chapters and I realized that this was not going to be a short project (and it was too insane of an idea for me to spend months writing an epic). And I got to the death scene, cried my eyes out as usual, and realized not even I was evil enough to do the Mufasa/Simba death scene with Luke and a young Ben.

3. I had an idea for an epic (and we all know my ADD when it comes to me and long fics) that was just so evil. Every once in awhile this plot will start really bugging me to get written, but I'll never have the time, and there are just too many flaws in the plot. It would start out with the famous LM scene in VOTF, but at the end, when Mara gets woken up, she would say, "And what would your wife have to say about that?" and Luke would reply "The same thing your sick husband would". Then it would launch into a fic where Luke is in a very unhappy marriage with Calista and Mara is married to Lando. But no one, not even Mara is aware of the fact that Luke and Calista are on the rocks and Luke is unaware of the fact that Lando is dying, Lando and Mara know that he is dying and Mara only agreed to marry him because of insurance fraud (a really lame reason, a huge plot hole and a huge reason why I will never write this), Lando basically needed Mara's insurance and Mara got everything after Lando died. Anyways, then Luke and Calista's relationship would crumble after she accuses of him rushing off to save Mara because he loves her and Calista serves Luke with divorce papers. It comes out that Lando is dying and only has weeks left. Luke approaches Mara about starting a relationship, but she has become very loyal to Lando in his last days. Lando dies and Mara is strangely broken up about it. Lando wrote letters to all his friends in his last days but Mara's letter isn't in the stack when Han gives them out. Luke considers asking Mara if she would like to stay with him, but he hesitates and she leaves before he can ask. Fast forward a year later and Han finds Mara's letter from Lando in the pocket of the last sweater Lando wore. He gives it to Luke to see if he can find Mara, who has been working for Karrde, but no one has heard from her in days. Luke finds Mara on the one year anniversary of Lando's death in a bar on some back water world. She's like passed out drunk. Luke pays her tab, gets them a hotel room and nurses her through the worst hangover ever. He gives her the letter that basically says "thanks for being my friend in my last days and you deserve the happiness and love that you gave me, go after Luke cuz he loves you and you two should make cute babies and name one Lando." And the story would conclude with an epiloge where Mara gives birth to twins: Luke Jr and Lanie. This one has (obviously) bugged me far to often for far too long, but I refuse to write it.

 

A few years ago I had come up with an idea of how to integrate the whole Star Fox mythos into the GFFA by using species analogues. Slippy Toad would've been a Rybet, Peppy Hare a Lepi, Falco Lombardi an avian species (not a Fosh but possibly a Calibop), and Fox McLeod (the true Scottish spelling) would be an Amaran, fighting to defend the Lylat System in the Outer Rim near Wild Space from forces of the Galactic Empire led by Admiral Andross, whose species I hadn't quite nailed down (possibilities included him being a Mantellian Savrip, of all things). It would've read kind of like an X-wing novel, with plenty of banter and (un)intentional light comedy as well as gritty scenes of starfighter combat and exposition about war and such. This bunny never really got out of the hole; it just sort of sat there in the warren of my mind, gathering moss, which is kind of too bad because I liked the Star Fox character personalities and I'm good at writing battle scenes and dialogue.

So yeah, if anyone wants to take a shot at this, just lemme know and I'll be happy to pass it along.

 

The Star Fox idea is pretty cool. I'd take it up if I had the time.

 

I just had a StarFox/SW/Ah! My Goddess crossover back in high school.

That's all I wish to say about it.

 

The things my young, depraved fangirl mind would conjure...

1. My memory is now so foggy that I can't recall if this began when I was still in middle school or if I'd reached high school, but this was definitely before the Dark Nest trilogy was ever published, and I'm not sure if I'd started reading the NJO yet. I concocted the idea of a technologically primitive alien species who just conveniently happened to be all Force-sensitive and were discovering how to use the Force as a hive mind, so through sheer numbers they could mentally wreak havoc over long distances across the galaxy. Of course they just wanted to destroy stuff BECAUSE REASONS. Naturally all the main characters get involved, and the aliens eventually manage to capture Luke, because they sense he's an incredibly powerful Force-user and they want to use him as a sort of lens to focus their destructive abilities for UNLIMITED POWAH. They have this semi-organic tree-like thing that they "plug" Luke into, but it winds up backfiring spectacularly as he just turns all that raw Force into disintegrating the entire planet instead. Leia is with him and she intends to die too, but at the last moment Luke teleports her away, and everyone else barely escapes on the Falcon. When Leia wakes up, she sees she's on Alderaan and thinks, "Okay, well, I died anyway and I guess I'm thinking of home. Let me go find Luke, since this is the afterlife or something." But then she realizes that no one's acting as if they're aware they're dead, and when she discovers that they have a HoloNet connection to the rest of the galaxy and everyone's extremely confused about what year it is and how the Empire's gone - it dawns on her that she's not dead and Alderaan is somehow back. Turns out that Luke self-destructing that planet with the Force-hive-mind aliens caused such a huge, crazy rift in both the Force and the space-time continuum that he decided to take the opportunity to yank Alderaan and all its inhabitants back into existence. He did it as a parting gift to Leia, since he knew that his death would hard on her and this was one way to offset the pain of his loss. So Leia winds up getting her homeworld back, although now she's not that far off in age from Bail and [Breha]. And people say the FotJ book series did insane things! I had them beat by years.
2. Plenty of fic writers make self-insertion Mary Sue stories either as parody or, because, erm, well...they're serious. Anyway, I was once almost one of those folks, although it would indeed have been a crack!fic with occasional bouts of seriousness. Once upon a time, shortly after I learned how to use the Internet and came across the old version of TF.N, I read some SW timeline that jokingly proposed that everything in the GFFA was recorded on a Holocron and sent out into intergalactic space, where it wound up falling to Earth eventually and being turned into a movie series by George Lucas. For reals. Someone really wrote that. Stop looking at me like that. Anyway, I sort of ran with that as the background to Luke Skywalker being accidentally rifted out of his galaxy and into ours and...crash-landing in northern New Jersey. The self-insertion narrator eventually runs into him and freaks him out with her casual knowledge about everything in his private life, and he learns that the history of his own life and family and entire galaxy is entertainment on this planet - and this means he now knows everything that's going to happen in his future. They then have to figure out how to get back and decide what to do about dealing with the problems the GFFA is going to face. So it was meant to be an extremely meta fic liek woah.

 

Thanks to the moral of the last episode in the newly-released TCW reels:

Spoiler

If at first you don't succeed, destroy it."

I can't help but imagine writing a Star Wars Mythbusters AU with Anakin as Adam and Obi-Wan as Jamie.

 

ROTFLOL.

[Myn Donos] "Pretty. What do we blow up first?" [/Myn]

 

I can't think of a farfetched story that I haven't written...I mean I wrote a story where Luke was in love with Artoo. There are plots I absolutely would not write. Luke cheating on Mara or Mara and Luke divorcing. I guess if that was a dare plot I could make it work. Luke is seduced by a mindwitch who makes him think he is with his wife Mara. The witch wants to break up Luke's marriage and sends Mara a holo of Luke in an amorous embrace with the witch, but she changes her form so it look like Luke is with Callista. Brokenhearted Mara decides to divorce Luke. The real Callista hears the news and contacts Mara and tells her she is not with Luke. The two team up to find Luke. They find the witch, but it puts Mara under her spell. Callista is immune to the mind witches manipulations and they get into a cat fight. They end up killing each other releasing Luke and Mara from her spell. Luke and Mara make up and the bootknocking ensues (I just made that one up right now).

 

Sadly I have one that I actually want to write that's an 'epic' crossover - Star Trek, Star Wars, Harry Potter... the few scenes I've written for it so far are pretty out there.

Another one I thought of was Mara waking up in a cloning cylinder after her 'death' in the Legacy of the Force and being coerced to work with a clone of Thrawn in the Unknown Regions.

 

You win. (That was fast, lol.)

 

You know what you haven't written? A Farfetch'd story.

 

OK if there is an award for best post of the year that was the winner right there

Well done.

 

I had an idea for a fic showing the development of the Jedi's non-attachment doctrine: 800 BBY, Padawans aren't forbidden to visit their families, and marriage/comitted relationships are somewhat discouraged but not forbidden. Yoda is the ignored younger child, and when the Jedi discover he's Force sensitive, his parents say, "eh, take him." On visits home, they only praise his older sibling and ignore the great progress Yoda has made. Eventually, he stops going home at all. When he becomes a young adult, he becomes infatuated with another Jedi, a very attractive and statuesque Fallleen. She respects Yoda, but doesn't care for him that way and becomes involved with another Jedi instead. A group of Yoda's friends have been similarly rebuffed or had bad break ups, and they all vow to stay unattached to better serve the will of the Force. This group becomes influential as they grow older, and teach their Padawans and the younglings, who in turn teach theirs, and what began as a suggestion or guideline becomes entrenched as dogma over 800 years. While he is in exile on Dagobah, the spirit of his old flame appears to Yoda and shows him where his bitterness over being rebuffed has lead. If the non-attachment doctrine had't taken hold, Anakin could have gone to Shmi after having his nightmares and wouldn't have had to hide his relationship with Padme. In essence, the fall of the Chosen One is due to Yoda being rejected by a hot Falleen. I could never decide whether this should be a serious fic or a comedy.

 

I'm just buggered even thinking about how to even tell that kind of story, never mind whether or not it should be a serious one. The POV shifts alone, to say nothing of the timescale, could pose serious obstacles. Still, I really like the overall concept and think it's an interesting take...if it weren't for the no-attachments policy (albeit selectively-enforced) having been around since at least prior to the Mandalorian Wars.

 

Raissa Baiard whether crack or serious, that sounds fascinating!

 

I'll second that!

I've seen semi-serious crack!fics work very well. In the past I've read at least 2 long ones that started out as total unapologetic comedy and by the end got really sad and profound without falling apart somewhere along the way.

 

That's basically how the anime series Trigun plays out.

 

Heck, there was so much hyperbolic, camp absurdity in LSatSoM that sometimes THAT felt like a crack!fic, LOL, but then there'd be the hardcore death and doom and nihilism thrown in - and it was altogether awesome.

 

I don't think fic ideas that occur in dreams would count, so I won't go into details...but just imagine Han Solo, Boba Fett, the Acropolis, and a painting of Mary, Queen of Scots in some convoluted story. Yes, I remember most of the details from a 24 year old dream...no, I'm not posting them. Isn't that fragment I mentioned bad enough?

 

Hey, it could be worse. I mean, it could be Mary, Queen of the Scots herself, not a painting.

 

I have no idea what you said...

...so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.

 

I've had a ton of fic ideas occur in dreams, including a weird ship or two. Mara Jade/Nute Gunray. Marute. Gunjade. The plot itself was actually pretty normal, but the ship was out there.

And then there was that dream with Batman fighting the sarlacc...

 

I don't see why we need to exclude dream-borne plot bunnies. I mean, I've had my share of whoppers, but most of them aren't really fan fiction-related, more like a lot of screwball plots and whacked-out happenings. There've been a few related to some fandoms, but sadly I've never really had a Star Wars dream—not counting those times when in your dreams, you have Force powers and such.

 

Okay. Now I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.