ST I Have A Bad Feeling About This - The "Haters" Sanctuary

Imagine if Rey learned her true lineage in episode 7. Or better yet what if she was a Maul descendant and her parents hid her away out of fear of the NJO/New Republic.
Or maybe there was no nonsensical amnesia subplot and she knew who she was all along, and her bonding with a storm trooper (Finn) was supposed to be a foil to Luke's bonding with an unlawful smuggler like Han. Hell what if the FO was a force for-----get this---Order, and exist as rivals to a corrupted and bloated New Republic. And instead of Finn being defected he was kidnapped by Poe/separated in a fight/something. This trilogy could have had its own identity, be a reversal perspective from what we're used to, and yet exist in the same universe. And we could have had a Sith protagonist this whole time----talk about subverting expectations.

And then episode 8 and 9 could have tackled the large scale plot rather than drawing out character introductions for three friggin movies.

One of the things that I've hated since the Kennedy dynasty swooped in is that the Empire was schitzophrenically evil, muh nazis, or incompetent (or all three), but never sympathetic or a force for order and stability which is what many fans see them as. Same issue with the whitewashing of the Rebels just in reverse.

 

Yeah I kinda thought that either Finn or Poe would end up sacrificing himself. Like Ford argued that Han should’ve done in ROTJ.

 

After talking with my family over this holiday, it seems like they all really enjoyed TROS and I’m an outlier. I’m really surprised they all enjoyed it considering they’re all hardcore Star Wars fans. However, most thought the kiss was stupid and my aunt thinks Kylo should’ve stayed Dark Side. It’s been interesting to gauge everyone’s reactions. It’s a pretty mixed bag.

 

Most of my casual fan friends who hated TLJ enjoyed TROS. They aren’t gushing over it, but they definitely like it better than TLJ. Now - most of them also hated the PT, so I think there is a general correlation there as well.

 

I think the fact that force ghosts are able to what they can do, is what bothers me about the ST. In the OT, they simply served as advisors, but now they can do ridiclous things like summon lightning and can affect the physical world way more than they used to. My eyes rolled so far back into my head in the theater.

But yeah you're right, the real reason they had the scene was so they can "rhyme" with Yoda's moment from ESB. Rey could just do it herself, whereas Yoda was proving a point to Luke.

 

My husband has an issue with what force ghosts can do, too. He questions where’s the limit? What’s the point of even showing them dying then? It loses some of that emotional meaning if they can do the same stuff if not more than before.

 

Prequel Trilogy: Rough Diamond
Original Trilogy: Polished Diamond
Sequel Trilogy: Polished Turd

 

Minor thing, but I haven't seen it mentioned: Am I alone in thinking that this movie has the worst-written opening crawl of the entire series?

 

No, you’re not. It was very brief too.

 

The crawl is a joke lol. Horrible.

 

In TLJ, Luke tells Rey “what am I going to do, walk out there and take on the entire First Order myself?”

TROS crawl: “Rey trains for battle...against the First Order”

 

Nope. "The Dead Speak!" was the first of many eye rolls in this movie.

 

TROS has no sense of danger. Whenever something happens it’s fixed. Makes me wish they did destroy the Falcon and hit us hard with emotions properly with real consequences.

 

Oh, Chewie died? *5 minutes later* just kidding.

Oh, C-3P0‘s memory is wiped? *5 minutes later* just kidding

The emperor doesn’t want any power and wants to die? *5 minutes later* just kidding!! I-am-the-true-emperor!!

Ben gets thrown into a pit and dies *5 minutes later* Just kidding!!

EDIT: I forgot one!!

Rey dies. *5 minutes later* just kidding!!

Second Edit as courtesy @Miles Lodson

Rey fatally stabs Kylo Ren. *5 minutes later* just kidding!!

 

You forgot one big one:

Rey kills Ben *1 minute later* just kidding!

 

Exactly. It’s predictable and gutless.

 

you guys forgot yet another one:

Zorrii Bliss is killed on Kijimi - *5 minutes later* just kidding!!

 

For what’s it’s worth I think they implied Palpatine from ROTJ did die and was not the real Palpatine you see in TROS.

 

Indeed... And we don't even get to hear it!!!

Every time something serious happened, I knew it would be reversed very quickly. No tension.

Oh, they did... But again, with no real explanation.

 

Something really terrible I noticed: When Poe and Finn are about to be executed on the Star Destroyer before Hux saves them, their last words to each other are bickering over whether Finn will tell Rey he likes her. It's unbelievably stupid, and Chewie lets out a moan to hammer it home. And he doesn't even try to go down fighting! They are all about to take blaster shots to the back of the head and they just give up! Poe chooses that moment, the last moment of their lives, to antagonize Finn! It's just awful, awful writing. Totally out of character for each one of them, but especially Chewie, who can clearly see that those two punks have given up but doesn't try to fight his way out.

You can put whatever you want into the template:
The dead speak! The wizarding world of Harry Potter has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of REVENGE in the sinister voice of the late VOLDEMORT.

 

Yeah the crawl is bad. I can't decide if it's worse than Return of the Jedi's crawl though. Both are pretty mediocre.

 

Oh, nooooo. This one is way worse. It so randomly brings Palpatine back to the forefront. Makes no friggin’ sense.

 

Honestly, Palpatine's return should have been a reveal. Like the opening crawl only alludes to the fact that Kylo Ren heard a voice in his head beckoning him to Exegol, and that voice is revealed to be Darth Sidious when he gets to the planet.

 

The dead speak! Westeros has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of REVENGE in the sinister voice of the late KHALEESI.

 

Gotta sell those tickets though, and Disney knew they couldn't rely on the shallow pieces of cardboard they created to carry hype for the lead-up to the film.

The mere fact that Palpatine is even in the film to begin with is testament enough to that.