Saga Restructuring AOTC, to help not only itself but the saga

Restructuring AOTC, to help not only itself but the saga

It’s my opinion, and I think the general consensus, that Episode II is the least-loved and least-rewatched movie out of the original Lucas 6.

Not only some very awkward dialogue, and some pacing/directing/acting issues, but I was recently thinking of how it’s just poorly structured.

And how its structure makes some key moments in Anakin’s life happen in the gaps between AOTC/ROTS and AOTC/TPM… Anakin’s transition from idealistic kid to angry young adult, and then from angry young adult to more mature, and actually seeing him knighted to become a Jedi Knight (the climax of the OT for Luke, but skipped for Anakin??). It also shows Anakin at his worst, when he should be at his best.


How would you restructure it?

Besides the Anakin stuff, some more of my thoughts:
-the mystery plot and the romance plot were too isolated from each other and the main plot of the trilogy. Two hours wondering if Dooku is bad or not, when he’s just killed at the start of the next movie?
-Obi-wan following a trail of breadcrumbs, nothing with detective work, nothing like a true Sherlock Holmes mystery?
-Anakin and Padme having several long romance scenes, in their isolated bubble away from everything?
-The long sequence of Padme’s assassination attempts at the beginning, that just seem like fluff?
-Kamino missing in the Jedi Archives, and Sifo-dyas, going nowhere?




Changes I’d propose (don’t just comment on mine, please propose your own too. I want this thread to be about the question, not my answer):

1. the movie still starts with Padme arriving and an attempt on her life, but it’s a slightly longer yet more intense action sequence, and it follows a different Jedi guarding Padme, who does an abbreviated version of the Zam chase sequence, and the Jedi guardian of Padme is killed. Which prompts Obi-wan and Anakin to be assigned. Perhaps the assassination attempt on Padme happens in the halls of the Senate itself, to further inflame the tensions of potential war.

2. Anakin is still as idealistic as when he was a kid, if grown and still immature in some ways, on the verge of becoming a Knight. Still a little impatient about it but not nearly as whiny or angry or frustrated, and the small impatience expressed is framed as he feels he could do so much more to help people if he had more agency and freedom that he’d get when he becomes a knight.

3. Obi-wan is told to find and spy on Count Dooku to see if he’s behind the attack, and he immediately goes to Geonosis.

4. The Republic, before Padme leaves, votes to authorize a “test run” of clone soldiers to be supplied by Kamino. That’s what Padme was against, and that big vote happens within the first 30 moments of the film. She then decides to covertly inspect Kamino for herself, and be more of the detective role to investigate and expose the ethics of this clone soldiers “test run” to her fellow Senators. And in this version, the clones are nearly instant-grown. As bodyguard, Anakin travels with her to Kamino. He feels obligated to report to the Jedi Council, but Padme convinces him that would blow her cover, and that she’d be safer off world and he’d still be following his mission. On their way there, they reconnect, and also have talk similar to the picnic scene and some other Naboo scenes on what’s wrong with the Republic. They are almost found out, while en route, so Anakin in a flash pretends they’re lovers to keep others from suspecting them as they travel and begin to sneak around Kamino, which leaves them both blushing, and they notice each other blushing.

5. Obi-wan overhears Dooku allying his cause with the megacorps on Geonosis, and is still captured. Padme has found evidence of how unethical the cloning is, how human the clones still are after “rescuing/freeing” and talking to one, but we see that cloaked Darth Sidious has learned of her investigations. So he orders Dooku to set an execution for Obi-wan, and before Padme can expose anything they hear the Senate has now fully authorized immediate use of this “trial” of clone soldiers with an attack on Geonosis, and granted emergency powers to Palpatine to conduct this newly-declared war.

6. Anakin and Padme sneak aboard the transport ships to Geonosis, and are there when the clones attack, Anakin being the first Jedi to lead the clones into battle on Geonosis. The battle is more focused on Anakin learning how to command the clones and lead them into battle, and he dons their commander armor (similar to the TCW and Vader gear) for protection. He does this to promise Padme that he will do his best to save their lives, actually valuing their lives more than what they learned their commanders were “programmed” to value, and to end the battle quickly. Other Jedi do arrive and see Anakin already commanding them, surprised. Anakin then surrenders command to Yoda or Windu, and he then goes to personally rescue Obi-wan, who is now in chains being transported by Dooku to escape off-world. The duel happens similarly, Anakin loses an arm, but he does it while saving Obi-wan’s life. Yoda arrives, Dooku escapes.

7. But instead of this being the end of the film, it’s only the middle. Anakin is knighted for his initiative, bravery, valuing of life, and sacrifice. After being knighted, he is still assigned to protect Padme, but that’s a smaller concern now. Padme feels responsible to leading Anakin into the situation where he’s now led a battle and lost an arm, and when she asks him to escort her to Naboo, she tells him they’re actually going to Tatooine. That she tried to find his mother for years, but Watto had already sold her to pay off his debts, and they couldn’t keep track of her, but now they’ll find her together. Anakin kisses her for real this time, and she kisses back. They later have a conversation similar to the fireplace scene, though not nearly as melodramatic with Anakin’s bad emo poetry.

8. While they arrive on Tatooine, there’s a montage of the Clone Wars erupting on many worlds, similar to how the Order 66 montage will be shown later on. Obi-wan is leading the defense of Alderaan as general, working alongside Bail Organa.

9. Back on Tatooine, after finding the Lars and learning of Shmi’s abduction, Padme begins to see how mentally scarred Anakin has been by recent events, and how deep the scar of his mother and slavery still goes despite his earlier happy idealistic self. She sees him becoming more brooding before he sets out, and wonders to Beru if bringing him here was a mistake, and the two also have a heart-to-heart when Beru guesses she loves Anakin.

10. Anakin finds Shmi, she dies, just as in the movie. Anakin kills the first few Sand People guards who come rushing at him out of rage, and then sees them cower. He goes off to attack them more, but sees how afraid they are, his shadow casting over them, and he stops in horror of the few he’s already just killed so aggressively. He doesn’t go on killing civilians, he leaves with his mother’s body then. While this is happening, Obi-wan hears Qui-gon’s voice through the Force, and when Anakin has regained control, he thinks he briefly sees a fuzzy image of his spirit.

11. Anakin returns and they have the funeral. Anakin and Padme have a somewhat similar garage scene, but context is very different, and Anakin has n’t committed mass murder or killed children. While Anakin wishes he could fix the galaxy, and save people from dying, Padme vows she’ll help him heal and professes her love, taking back her earlier hesitation.

12. Anakin and Padme now finally arrive on Naboo. Obi-wan makes contact with Yoda to speak about seeing/hearing Qui-gon and that he may have found a way maintain his identity in the Force after death, and Yoda says it must be kept secret from the other Jedi for now until they know for sure. Dooku and Palpatine speak, not only about the beginning of the war but also revealing Sidious has similarly seduced Dooku with secrets of the dark side that could keep people (though more like himself) from dying and how he feels there’s been a shift in the balance, and then we end by seeing Anakin and Padme actually marry.

 

AOTC as we got is a pretty solid film. Probably wouldn't add anything but more of the Battle of Geonosis, like Clone Troopers in starfighters zipping and sniping off Droid Starfighters and trying to disable the Techno Union & Droid Control Ships that are already in flight and in space...

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Nothing wrong with the structure, story is good, just the execution and pushing envelope on not yet ready CGI isn't. It's my least favourite star wars including all TV shows; as a whole it looks terrible and so is Hayden..tho redeems in sith. It's so frustrating as it has some incredible scenes and shots let down by so many things...I'll just be enjoying the scene when a terrible scene cuts into what was good so even then they are less enjoyable. C3P0 needs to be removed from the droid factory and arena. The arena is both star wars at its no best and worst. I love the waterfall setting on naboo but the riding those 'things' is probably my least favourite sw scene ever.. nauseating
If it was remade tho it might be one of my favourites for story

 

The structure of the film is what it should be. The one major alteration I've thought of that could benefit the Saga somewhat is first having Bail Organa established as a trusted friend of Padmé's and then having her and Anakin go to Alderaan instead of Naboo.

 

Whilst I do love the return to Naboo in Attack of the Clones as it stands, I can totally step back and agree with you on this, from a wider Saga perspective.

The only change I'd make is to restore Dooku's final escape scene to its 2002 original. The edit we've been stuck with since 2011 is a mess. I know that's probably not the sort of structural change this thread was asking for, but it's the only one I got.

 

I would add one more bird in the background of a shot on Naboo.

 

What's the edit? I've only ever watched the original versions of the PT.

 

there are in fact 2 edits made for the BD from 2011 and beyond:

Speeder Chase:


End Fight:


I like the new Speeder edit more but like the orignal end fight edit more.

 

Yeah, they messed that up. The altered speeder chase edit is great, but the other one... Yikes.
They should have payed more attention to the scene where Artoo saves Padmé in the droid factory if you ask me, 'cause that edit always bothered me.

 

The duel in the hangar was choppy in places, particularly the cut to where Dooku chops off Anakin's arm,

Ben Burtt is no doubt a genius in sound design, but a 'film editor' he ain't.

 

I'm not going to pretend that Episode III didn't have some slight pacing issues, but Episode I and II out of George's 6 easily have the most filler and stuff that goes nowhere. Even the lengthy Jabba rescue in VI which could've been trimmed down a bit instead of the staggering of the heroes arriving (what was Luke's plan?) is at least quite entertaining and involves all the heroes.
Some things I would change in the structure of II in no particular order (without changing Episode I)
1. Dooku has to appear in the first hour, maybe even the first half hour. I don't think waiting 1hr16 min into the film to reveal Dooku was a good choice. While he does have a lot of screen time overall, he's killed off in Episode III 14 minutes in. I feel like at least one more scene of showing Dooku as more than a mostly mustache twirling villain (like when he talks to Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon and Sidious, that give him more depth beyond a purely cartoony villain) would greatly aid the character and story.
2. Clean up the lightsaber duel. The weird blue and red closeups on Dooku and Anakin feel cheesy instead of emotionally engaging. And Yoda's lightsaber choreography against Dooku is absolutely ridiculous. If Yoda has to wield a saber when confronting Dooku, make it far more reserved and focusing on the emotion over flips and spins.
3. No Tusken massacre on Anakin's part. This makes Anakin a serial killer and Padme looks stupid and potentially immoral. Perhaps all the darkness you need from Anakin is angry glares, and him expressing the trauma of slavery and failing to save his mother (some of which could be similar to the final film).
4. No droid factory sequence. This was a last-minute addition of the film and it's stupid.
5. I actually agree with the idea of Geonosis being around the middle of the film. In Episode V, we have the Battle of Hoth in the first third, in just about every other Star Wars film the big battle is in the third act. Admittedly, Episode III has Coruscant at the start and split up between Utapau and Kashyyyk in the middle. One focused big battle around the middle before more smaller scale emotional aspects in the third aspect could work out well.
6. General romance overhaul in dialogue and structure.
7. If there has to be any chase around the beginning, make it shorter and more exciting.
8. Introduce Grievous.
9. I don't have an idea at the moment how but change the clone army. The Jedi look so arrogant and stupid working with a slave army from a conspiracy just because the Senate voted to give Palpatine emergency powers to create a Grand Army of the Republic.

 

Probably because they were arrogant and stupid to begin with...

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Good Stuff @Ghost .

The acting/directing are not going to be saved by rearranging the script. Hopefully whoever rearranges the pages could also script-doctor some of a dialog to sound like humans talking, and then things would improve.

Most of the removable stuff in what we got is the CG "action" bits.

Too much time was spent on elements that could've been far shorter or omitted, and you know it was just there because too much money was invested in making those scenes to edit them out.

Primary culprits are the droid factory, Kamino, and the arena.

The ONLY reason we didn't get instantly grown clones was the Boba Fett subplot....CUT IT, it went no where...Problem solved.

The Naboo scenes are awful. Much of what @Ghost suggested would lead to a more situational intensity that would feel more realistic to a hastily advanced romance before our eyes then the brutally awkward mess we got. I think what Lucas was going for was contrast of "hope/love/beauty/nature" to "industry/espionage/darkness/storms/war" of the Obi-wan plot. The problem was he did it too obviously and for far too much of the film. Perhaps 2 switching scenes back and forth...and be past it.

Anakin and the Sandpeople was entirely unnecessary as well. He could learn about his mother from records and have a slip into darkness without the long side trip. Lucas wanted to hang a spot light on Owen and Beru...a plot hole he CREATED by omission in TPM. Cut it all. Have a throw-away line about Shmi "Lars" in the records, and introduce them at the end of ROTS.

It also hurts visually the backend of the film that Tatooine and Geonosis look very similar. Removing Tatooine would solve that issue, but changing Geonosis to something more inline with a heavy industry world like Ord Mantell or Mechis III...polluted, grey, ashen, could've provided visual distinction we had not seen in the franchise to that point.

The biggest issue I have with this film (and most of the PT, for that matter) is the imperative they place on playing out personal details in front of us while the big points are missed. AOTC focused a LOT on creating a romance, when a simple solution would be to reveal early in the film the 2 had secretly stayed in touch since TPM, and that long lasting friendship blossomed into romance even before the film...then the subplot of the film is hiding the romance as they try to work together, which they never had done in the interim (I have the same opinion on ROTS and the Twins...I think the pregnancy should be a given with the birth happening immediately before the film or at the very beginning...the subplot of ROTS then being about Padme running, hiding the twins from Anakin because she knows he's gone darkside, etc.)

Again, I can see where Lucas was going...trying to humanize Anakin for us before he becomes the monster we know is coming. But I think that can be done through actions and smaller moments...not whole segments of an adventure stuck in awkward dialog and unbelievable shifts in behavior because the climax of the film needs to happen.

Anyway...yeah...AOTC stinks...BUT...it had the best trailers of all the PT films...loved that teaser with breathing and the drums.

 

^ I don't remember that trailer at all.

 

Jedimarine:

"my solution to fixing AOTC is making it as dull as possible"

k then.

 

As in you never saw it, or you blocked it out?

I think it would be pretty hard to make that movie any duller.

But I would try, if it made it BETTER.

 

Remove c3po from most scenes

 

Why stop there? Remove Anakin, Jango and Palpatine. And no cheating by removing/rewriting scenes, just erase the characters and leave the rest as it is.

 

3p0 is at his best/funniest when he's commenting over the shoulders of the main characters.

Quick Quips, an annoyed look from the other characters, and cut to the next scene.

I think the intent with the AOTC script was to lighten the mood with the interludes with the droids even more then usual because of the decidedly dark tone of the war conspiracy and the melancholy of the frustrated romance. And since the droids aren't even together until halfway through the 2nd Act, their scenes are concentrated.

Particularly on Geonosis, it becomes almost a B-plot. Just a grin between fights. Certainly a new scenario to anything we saw 3p0 face in the OT.

Unfortunately, it can wear thin, particularly in re-watches. The 3p0/Battle Droid gimmick is absurd, but you go with it initially. The next time you watch and you think how precisely things have to happen for the head to land just so or get knocked back just right, etc, etc, it stretches the suspension of disbelief a tad. But I know a fair number of people who like those gags, so it's not without merit.

I also wonder if there were some rewrites of plot points that were intended for Jar Jar, but were shifted to 3p0 when they decided to sideline the Gungan for most of the film.

 

don't forget Padme and Obi-Wan!

 

Possibly but if so worst ever star wars creative decision. I literally wince when I see that droid in the arena or in the factory. It's a toss up between that and anakin riding those things on naboo. It just looks awful. The worst thing is they cut across good elements that suffer from the juxtaposition.The whole film suffers from being early digital and Hayden being unable to carry the film

 

Restructure? Or better, erase the entire movie from the saga. And while we are at it, let's just change every movie ever made... cause basically, they really all suck. Don't like my sarcasm? Fine. My point is, the movie should be left alone like it is, flaws or not.

 

I'd be more interested in reimagining the whole Star Wars mythos. Not to say "This is how it should have been" but to ask myself "How would I have told this story?" - as a thought experiment, as practice.

 

Macklunkey!

 

All these fan edit-tier suggestions only make me appreciate AOTC even more.