Lit A Chronological Journey Through the EU: Currently Disc. Interference

Book of Sith: Sorzus Syn’s Chronicle



6,900 BBY

*Okay, so there’s a bit to talk about here. The Book of Sith is this really cool art-object type thing. You can buy it, more cheaply, and just get the book, but I went all out and got the special edition of the book.

*So, you get this red and black pyramid. You push a button on the front and a little drawer slides out that has the book in it. Under the book is another little tray that has various little objects in it. There are also loose objects in between the pages of the book. Each of these objects corresponds to a section of the book. I’ll briefly mention the one that corresponds to the Sorzus Syn section of the book below when we get to it.

*The book is this beautiful red hardcover and it’s an in-universe text compiled by Palpatine, consisting of document fragments from various Sith throughout history. These different sections are easily distinguishable because they are each done on a different type of paper. The Syn section, the first in the book, is done on a very ragged edged paper; you can easily see where it ends and the next section, by Darth Malgus and done on very clean edged, somewhat smaller graph paper, begins. I think this is actually really, really cool.

*Each section also has marginal notes by various people who have, in-universe, owned the book at various times. So Palpatine makes marginal notes in one color and style; Luke does in another; Yoda in another.

*In short, this book is a triumph of design, if nothing else. I absolutely love it as a made object.

*So, let’s see how the writing holds up compared to the wonderful design.

*This section takes place almost two thousand years prior to the Great Hyperspace War with Naga Sadow and all that. We know a bit about this period due to Jedi Vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force. So, this book starts right at the end of the Hundred Year Darkness. Essentially a group of Dark Jedi splintered off from the main Jedi and there was a century of war. The Dark Jedi were defeated and exiled into unknown space. It’s there that they stumbled across Korriban and the Red Sith. That’s the background of this story.

*Well, it’s not really a “story” per se, just a series of character based writings. Anyway, I’ll jump into it and you’ll see what I mean, I think.

*So, there are twelve Dark Jedi that arrive on Korriban. I think some of the exiled Dark Jedi just disappeared. I seem to recall that from Jedi Vs. Sith. Anyway, they arrive on Korriban and quickly use the Force to take over and subjugate the Red Sith.

*At this point in time, Sadow’s race wouldn’t have been called the Red Sith; they were just the Sith. After the Dark Jedi also take the name of Sith, the differentiator comes into play. But I’m using it here for clarity, so you know who I’m talking about when I say “Sith.”

*The Dark Jedi’s leader is Ajunta Pall. I think he’s the author of the brief section on this period of history in Jedi vs. Sith.

*There’s some great art here too.

*So, Sorzus Syn is a woman. Just FYI.

*So, we do get some history here that kind of replaces the history we skipped from Jedi vs. Sith. Syn writes about the First Great Schism, which is when Xendor (you know, “minions of Xendor!”) left the Jedi and there was a great battle. Syn calls her group of Dark Jedi heirs of Xendor’s heresy.

*Oh, I should mention that I’m not talking about the marginal notes. DinoJim’s timeline will have me revisit those later, at the period when they were appended to the texts here.

*So, Syn is the Dark Jedi that learned how to create Leviathans. There’s a great picture of her standing in front of a massive monster. The caption is “Krespuckle the Ever-Hungry, my favorite Leviathan.” That’s sweet.

*Someone reading this is now considering naming their dog “Krespuckle the Ever-Hungry.” I just want to say: “Do it.”

*Someone got paid to come up with that name, you guys. It was someone’s job to sit in a chair until they thought of Krespuckle the Ever-Hungry. That is a fellow living The Dream, my friends. That is the happiest SOB you will ever meet in all your born days.

*They actually talk about the Light & Dark Sides in terms of Ashla & Bogan, so the teaching here is very much still tied to the Dawn of the Jedi era, I guess.

*Okay, Syn actually refers to the Red Sith as Sith Purebloods. I guess that’s the proper term for them at this time in history. So I’ll call them Purebloods.

*So we get this whole exploration of the Sith caste structure. It introduces some figures I don’t recall encountering anywhere else. The slave group is called the Grotthu and they seem to have tiny elephant trunks on their faces. I mean, whatever.

*We get a breakdown of the Sith weapons, which is always cool. There’s a drawing of every single one, so that’s nice.

*I remember when I read Jedi vs. Sith I said that I had never really known what a lanvarok was until I read that book. Well, based on this book, I was actually still wrong after reading Jedi vs. Sith. Okay, I know NOW what a lanvarok is. I hope.

*I hope? Like it matters.

*Oh, the Yoke of Seeming! That’s a pivotal item in the KOTOR comic series.

*There’s a lot of trivia here, by which I mean things that are in no way important to the EU or the Star Wars galaxy but are interesting and new. So, there was this Sith guy that replaced his heart with a ruby containing the souls of his enemies. And if you have it and also have his helmet, you can . . . um, wield great power or something? It’s kind of vague on that point.

*Still, it’s a nice conversation piece at the very least.

*I mean, you have to give the Sith this, they have a knack for awesome names. My new favorite: “The Cloister of Bilious Torment.”

*So, Syn is, of course, plotting to overthrow Ajunta Pall and take over. She’s found a way to get a couple of other Sith squabbling and she’s doing some of her alchemy secretly. She’s also raiding old Sith tombs and this includes a brief passage of her and some slaves facing some death traps, that’s kind of cool.

*And when I say that Syn faces some death traps, I mean she just hurls slaves through the tombs to trigger all of them ahead of her. Which is one way to do it.

*OK, so she finds a holocron. It seems that the Sith Purebloods got the secret of making holocrons from the Rakata. Which is presumably where the Jedi got it? Well, no, the Jedi had holocrons in Dawn of the Jedi, but the Rakata didn’t. I don’t think.

*Anyway, this Pureblood holocron gives us the history of the Sith Purebloods, so this is going to be cool, because I basically know nothing about this race prior to Naga Sadow encountering them. (With the exception that they’ve been around for a long time, given the presence of a couple in Dawn of the Jedi).

*Oh, before I get into that I should tell you about the object that corresponds to Syn’s section of the book. She’s in the tombs now, of course, and the object that’s slipped between the pages of the book at this point is a fragment of a Sith burial shroud. It’s a triangular piece of cloth that’s folded over once. It folds into a pretty large triangle, you know, like ten inches long to six inches high or something. It’s a thin, tan fabric that’s covered in Aurebesh lettering (or some kind of lettering). It’s also colored red in several large blotches. I think those are supposed to be blood stains. Anyway, it’s pretty cool. I actually really like these kind of things that come with books. I mean, it helps the book become a more tactile experience when you turn the page and a piece of cloth falls out and then you can pick it up and look at it and feel it while you’re reading about the Sith tombs. I dig it.

*Oh, no, this wouldn’t be Aurebesh. When was Aurebesh even created? And I don’t even think the Sith have had that much contact with the outside galaxy at this point. I guess the only contact would have been when the Tho Yor picked some up and transplanted them to the Tython system. So, even if Aurebesh existed in the Republic, the Purebloods wouldn’t have it. I guess these are Sith runes.

*So, here’s some Pureblood history that is new to me. Probably in some reference guides somewhere, but I’ve not encountered it.

*So, three thousand years before the Republic was founded, there was this Pureblood King named Adas. He wielded dual battle axes, when most had to use both hands to wield only one, so his reign, which lasted three hundred years (Adas used the Dark Side to prolong his life), was known as the Reign of the Ax.

*The Rakata attacked the Sith system and Adas was killed in the war, but the Purebloods were able to inflict such heavy losses on the Rakata that they actually retreated and left the Purebloods alone.

*The Purebloods then used the Rakatan technology they had captured to extend their rule outward and take over many worlds in the Sith system.

*A section about Warbeasts introduces us to one that bears the Lovecraftian name of Ninushwodzakut. Otherwise known as Knotter of Entrails.

*That’s disgusting. And a good band name.

*The Hssiss appear. They’re a rare exception to the “awesome name” system the Sith seem to be using for everything.

*So, the illustrations of all these beasts are full color and everything. They’re really great. Especially the War Wyrm, which is really quite nightmarish.

*Section on Sith Incantations. If I was less superstitious, I would say some of these out loud.

*Syn gets these incantations from a cursed scroll she discovers. Great lines in research: “I have found that the longer I must fight off horror, blindness or liquefaction, the more valuable is the information the scroll contains.”

*Anyone that’s ever done a dissertation will understand that in their very bones.

* “Be aware that it is more than recitation!” Oh, okay, maybe I’ll say some of these after all. “Your inflection must be precise & perfect . . . or the spell may haunt you instead.” NEVER MIND

*Syn closes with a section on the Sith Code and the prophecy of the Sith’ari. She discusses how both of them are kind of perversions of Jedi tenents, namely the Jedi Code and the prophecy of the Chosen One. Syn’s section of this book closes with her wondering if she might be the Sith’ari herself.

*Far as I know, there’s no information about Sorzus Syn anywhere else. Given the fact that the name of Ajunta Pall is most often mentioned in conjunction with the conquest of the Purebloods and the Dark Jedi’s rule of the Sith system and Syn’s name hasn’t come down in any other texts that I’m aware of, I think it’s safe to assume she more than likely did indeed attempt a coup against Pall and was killed in the attempt. No Sith’ari for you!

*So, I really enjoyed this. I think the book is just really cool as an art object and the writings of Sorzus Syn were interesting and engaging. It’s definitely more like a reference guide than like a story, but it was told in a different kind of way and voice and I liked that. Also, lots of new information, at least as far as I was concerned.
I enjoyed this so much that I’m kind of bummed it’s going to be so long before we get into the book again. The next section, chronologically, is a section of Darth Malgus’ journal and he’s around the MMO time period as memory serves. But for now, I’ll put this back in the holocron.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This document is likely more or less accurate. It is more than probable that it contains exaggerations and distortions intended to elevate the ego of its author, Sorzus Syn, but other texts and research indicates that most of the text is accurate. This work is RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

3 ½ stars.

Daniel Wallace

*Next time, we’ll jump back to where we were before we jumped back to catch up with Dawn of the Jedi and all this other stuff. Join me next time at 3,999 BBY for Ruins of Kabus-Dabeh!

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If you liked this, you'll love The Jedi Path and The Bounty Hunter's Code, books done in the same style but that I think work even better.

 

Ruins of Kabus-Dabeh



3,999 BBY

*So, this is the final chapter in the Tales of the Jedi Companion. After all the info about stats and characters and rules, we are given the chance to play out a sort of tutorial RPG, very, very simplified, really a slightly different Choose Your Own Adventure story.

*So, I am introduced to Keval Raffaan, given a brief back story on him and his stats. He’s a seventeen year old Jedi Apprentice on his first mission. I am to make all his decisions for him, which dooms him, I am quite sure, to an ignominious and embarrassing death.

*The book explains all the rules about rolling the dice and what all the numbers mean. This may be simpler than I had feared.

*We are then introduced to the planet Muzara, where new settlers are clashing with the indigenous population, the Muza. My master has dispatched me, by which I mean Keval, to intercede between the two groups.

*So, then there’s a brief introduction. I arrive on planet but the Muza refuse to recognize my authority since I’m seventeen and, going by the drawing on my stat page, look kind of like a dork.

*In order to prove my authority, I must venture into the titular ruins and retrieve a bag of coins that has been hidden there. If I can do this and return safely, the Muza will allow me to intercede.

*So, this is set up via a series of one paragraph sections, all numbered, from one to eighty. So, when I arrive in the ruins, I can choose to investigate a nearby cave, a stone well, a dark pond of water or a pyramidal monument and depending on which I choose, I go to either number 1, 2, 3 or 4. At the end of each section there is a choice to make or a task to complete via a dice roll. Based on my choice or my roll number, I proceed to another number.

*We’ll just play straight through this once and then go back and look at the different paths, I guess.

*So, I chose the stone well, discovered a hidden ladder and went down into it. Once there, I ran afoul of some worms that launch themselves out of holes in the wall. My dexterity roll failed me, not once, but twice, resulting in Keval expiring at the bottom of the well, a worm firmly attached to his rib cage.

*Did I not frigging tell you?

*So, anyway, as I pressed on with the well plot, I discovered that if I had looked for something to plug the holes with instead of attempting to battle the worms with my lightsaber, I would have survived and found the bag of coins at the end of the tunnel. So, I did make the right choice.

*You know, before I died from a worm chewing its way into my small intestine.

*Why did I pick the well? It just seemed right. It just . . . I just knew that the coins were down the well. I’m not even kidding. My instincts, you know.

*The instincts that led to me dying while a worm . . . oh, skip it.

*Anyway, the cave contains a monster that you have to battle. Obviously, the coins aren’t there.

*The dark pond of water is a total wash with the exception that if you splash around in it (what idiot would reach into a dark pond of water in a ruined city?), it turns your skin grey.

*Maybe that’s what Chalmun meant when he said Qui-Gon was a Grey Jedi.

*The pyramid is a trap, complete with a fake bag filled with pebbles. Just like in Raiders, when you grab the bag, it sets off a weight based mechanism and the pyramid starts sinking into a watery grave.

*Basically, lots of ways to die here and lots of ways to waste time. It’s kind of annoying that, like a laser, I shot to exactly the correct location, skipped all the messing around on the surface, found the hidden ladder immediately and then died with the bag of coins just around the corner from me.

*GOD WHY WOULD ANYONE PLAY THESE

*So, then we get three other possible scenarios that you can create and play out in the ruins of Kabus-Debah, including a battle with the monster in the cave after he begins a murderous spree, an attempt to find the source of the grey water and, most interesting, a battle between some Jedi and a couple of Dark Siders who have come to Kabus-Debah searching for Sith artifacts.

*Since I’ve had enough of worms leaping onto my body with bloodthirsty yowls, I did not create these scenarios.

*Well, there we go. My first RPG experience, but not my last.

*It was fun. I enjoyed it.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

** ½ out of **** stars.

George R. Strayton

*Next time, it’s back to Chronicles of the Old Republic to set the stage for our next big villain (har har) as we look at The Shadow of Freedon Nadd!

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Chronicles of the Old Republic: The Shadow of Freedon Nadd

3,999 BBY

*Remember, these little summaries are free and were always intended to be free, so go to the link there and read this little section and then give your thoughts as well. When something is legally free and three paragraphs long and you can get there by just clicking one link, I really think we should have a totally informed conversation.

*It is kind of humorous, me writing these pieces on the Chronicles. Because my little summaries are probably like three to four times as long as the summaries themselves.

*So, this appears only on DinoJim’s timeline and it is oddly dated there. It’s actually dated as taking place between 4,400 BBY and 3,999 BBY. I suppose this is because we don’t really have a real nailed down date for Freedon Nadd’s story. And it would have had to happen well before the Beast Wars, I suppose, given that he’s dead and buried and then appears as a spirit to King Ommin when Ommin is still young and healthy. But with stories that are dated as taking place across a span on the timeline, I like to push them back to the end of that span, even if it’s not technically the most accurate. This is because I kind of want to go ahead and keep things simple. In a case like this, it wouldn’t really have mattered that much where in the span I read it, but in others it does, so we’ll maybe talk more about why I set that rule later. Regardless, I’m dating it at 3,999 BBY because that’s when I recommend reading it.

*So, we talked about A Golden Age before and about the whole purpose of the Chronicles of the Old Republic. This is Part II of those Chronicles.

*So, we are briefly told here, in three paragraphs, the story of Freedon Nadd and then given a brief summary of Ulic Qel-Droma & the Beast Riders of Onderon.

*So, I guess the first half of this little thing is where the meat is. Nadd is, it strikes me, still a character about whom not a whole lot is known. We get some of his backstory in the Tales of the Jedi Companion, but beyond that, it’s basically just dialogue in the TotJ comics. But here we do get some more backstory.

*It’s particularly of interest because we have essentially two real sources for Nadd’s life (prior, of course, to his death and existence as a spirit), the Companion and the Chronicles. What’s really interesting about that is that the two sources really don’t mesh together at all.

*Anyway, let’s get to this version of the story. Nadd, a Jedi Knight, follows ‘intrigue and rumor’ to Yavin 4. There, he, of course, calls up the spirit of Sadow and learns of the Dark Side from him. Then, for reasons unclear, he decides to take over Onderon.

*Then we are introduced to Arca, Ulic, Cay, Tott, Amanoa, Galia, Oron Kira, etc.

*How do they decide who gets a name all in caps? Nadd does, but Sadow doesn’t, despite the fact that he did in Part I. Arca, Ulic, Cay and Tott all do, but Amanoa doesn’t. Galia doesn’t, but Oron Kira does.

*That last one really baffles me. In what possible way is Oron Kira more significant than his wife? Or Queen Amanoa? Is this sexism? Cause two women appear in this section and neither of them get their names in all caps.

*The fact that I’m even talking about this should tell you just how fascinating I find the actual story under consideration.

*Again, I don’t even know how to rate this. At least, unlike A Golden Age, it does add a detail or two to Nadd’s story.

*Ahem. As to that. Let’s just quickly run through the differences. It seems to me that the things we want to know about Nadd are: Who is he? How did he fall to the Dark Side? How did he gain his power?

*Now . . . The Chronicles say he was a Jedi Knight; the Companion said he was an apprentice frustrated by the fact that he couldn’t achieve the level of Jedi Knight. The Chronicles say he left the Jedi pursuing “intrigue & rumor;” the Companion says that he murdered one of his teachers. The Chronicles say he went to Yavin 4 and learned the ways of the Dark Side from the spirit of Naga Sadow; the Companion says he went to Ashas Ree and learned by studying there.

*Who is he? A Jedi Knight . . . or a student who had been judged unsuitable for ever becoming a Jedi Knight. How did he fall? Through curiosity about the Dark Side . . . or maybe he murdered someone. How did he gain his power? By studying under Naga Sadow on Yavin 4 . . . or doing solo research on Ashas Ree.

*You can make that scan into some kind of coherent narrative if you want, but it’s just weird that the authors weren’t more consistent with all that.

*Still, this is all more support for my theory about reading the EU as historical documents of unknown accuracy.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This retelling of an already fabricated story should obviously be viewed as even more fabricated and corrupted than the original. This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*This is bad. Warned Against. 1 star.

*Nadd casts a shadow this time, but next time he’ll be a little more concrete. Join me next time for Tales of the Jedi: The Freedon Nadd Uprising!

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Ideally, you want more consistency, but I think this is one of those interesting cases where the mass of the EU kind of weaves together a story unintentionally, creating something out of the sum of this disparate information. Weave it together, and Nadd didn't just kill someone and become a darksider -- or get tempted and become a darksider. No, he killed his Master in frustration and then specifically took off following rumor and intrigue about the dark side. Maybe he self-studies at Ashas Ree before he digs up some rumor and intrigue that lead him to Sadow. Maybe he finds Sadow, who initiates him, and Ashas Ree is where he refines his mastery of the dark side between Yavin and Onderon. The Knight thing I don't worry about; "Jedi Knight" often doubles as a generic term; referring to an apprentice as a Jedi Knight is just a way of saying he's one of the Jedi. But I think there's something interesting in the way the EU can build these kind of synthesized narratives that are more intriguing than the simpler parts originally established.

 

Tales of the Jedi: The Freedon Nadd Uprising



3,998 BBY

*The second Tales of the Jedi omnibus begins with this story. So why on earth did they put a picture on the front that actually illustrates something from The Saga of Nomi Sunrider, the last story in the first Tales of the Jedi omnibus? I like the image, of Nomi, clutching an infant Vima, defending herself against Dark Side dragons. But there are a crap ton of great images you could get from The Freedon Nadd Uprising, Dark Lords of the Sith and The Sith War. Why put a picture from a story that isn’t in the book? Weird.

*So, we’ve moved into the next year, 3,998 BBY, finally leaving last year behind. So, we have Ulic and his buddies getting into the Beast War one year; the following year, Nomi Sunrider is widowed and starts learning from Master Thon; also, The Freedon Nadd Uprising really begins at some point in that year, because Tott Doneeta shows up to borrow Oss Willum for help during Saga of Nomi Sunrider. Then this one happens the following year.

*So, has the Freedon Nadd Uprising been going on for a year? Several months? Maybe. I suppose it could make more sense if Tott shows up in Saga very late in 3,999 BBY and this one starts very early in 3,998 BBY.

*So, Tott’s brief cameo notwithstanding, it’s at this point that our two story threads finally really get together. The group on Onderon is attempting to quell an uprising of adherents of Freedon Nadd. Who should show up to help but Nomi?

*The new queen reveals that her father, Ommin, is a follower of Freedon Nadd and is still alive in a secret medical facility.

*Now, there’s no getting around this one. The Beast Wars, in which Arca and his students vanquished Queen Amanoa and, they thought, broke the hold of Freedon Nadd on Onderon happened in 4,000 BBY and this story begins in 3,998 BBY. Even assuming the latest possible date for the Beast Wars and the earliest possible date for this story, it’s still at least a year between them, probably more.

*And this woman has just been sitting on the information that Freedon Nadd still has a powerful Dark Side adherent on Onderon in King Ommin? This is perhaps something it would have been nice to have heard about A YEAR AGO!

*King Ommin is a great villain, very creepy looking.

*Of course, the fact that all these Jedi are getting their asses handed to them by a dead guy and a sickly old man who can’t even stand up on his own is hardly inspiring.

*If you guessed that one of the Jedi would get a hand lopped off, give yourself a gold star. If you guessed it would be the brother of the main character, give yourself two. If you wrote that stupid clichéd plot point, give yourself three. Right up the butt.

*Okay, wall of light, Freedon Nadd’s spirit banished, Ommin dies, Cay gets a mechanical hand. Blah blah blah blah.

*Unfortunately, the Jedi don’t know that Satal & Aleema Keto, a pair of wealthy siblings, have managed to escape Onderon with a ton of Sith artifacts, courtesy of Ommin and Nadd. By the time these two characters eventually meet their ends, you’ll wish you didn’t know anything about them either.

*Extremely short which would tick me off except it was so bad, I was glad it was over so quickly.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This attempt to give a backstory to some of the significant participants in the Sith War is a complete misfire; it is considered by most scholars to be completely fabricated. This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*Awful. Strongly Warned Against. ½ star

Tom Veitch

*Next time, we’ll see how this story fares as *shudder* an audio drama. Join me next time for Tales of the Jedi (Part Three).

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There's an audio drama? Oh sweet Waru.

Btw isn't this the story were Warb Null get's offed? Well, he less than a footnote so it's not like it matters much

 

Introduced and Offed. Basically both within a few panels. I remember after being introduced to the original TOTJ trade paperback, and with the new issues of Dark Lords of the Sith coming out, which I picked up as they came out, I was having the hardest time hunting down the issues of Freedon Nadd that I had missed (all 2). Then I was introduced to some website (this was early 90s, remember) that told me how I could write in and order copies and send a check. I was so freakin' excited. I wrote, I order, then I got them, and was like, oh.

 

Ha, that sounds fun. I'm very amused by Warb Null in all honesty. He's such a total red shirt it's hilarious.

 

I'm not sure which was more awkward - the art in FNU, or the art in DLoTS #6.

Ah, never mind. FNU is at least charming.


DLoTS #6 was a disaster.


To me, Chris Gossett was THE TotJ artist, period.

It's a complete tragedy he couldn't complete #6. It was so bad, they even re-drew a few of the final panels for the publication in the TPB (including changing the design of the Sith Mark ... which then made it different than how it appeared in Sith War. ) and those redrawn panels weren't really much of an improvement either.

 

I remember reading that Omnibus, I liked it more then I thought I would, I especially like the last story.

 

Yeah, this story arc was really hard to find for quite a while. One kind of wishes it had stayed that way.

And I'm not sure how I didn't mention Warb Null in my review. Yeah, he's a riot.

 

Tales of the Jedi (Part Three)



3,998 BBY

*So, okay, this will at last wrap up this particular audio drama, though there will be more to come. So, this part dramatizes The Freedon Nadd Uprising.

*Okay, this is just beyond the pale. You remember that whine Luke did when he said that power converter line? Well, Satal Keto speaks in that tone ALL THE TIME. AND IN A NASAL VOICE. ARGH! KILL! HULK SMASH TAPE PLAYER!!

*You know, I used to find it annoying when there would be action sequences and the participants would just be speaking in a normal voice, while explosions and etc. went on behind them and they were supposedly doing back flips and trying to kill each other. Only, just now, they did an action sequence which consisted solely of lightsaber noises and two actors taking turns doing “scream/grunts.” I think I liked the other way better.

*Why do they sometimes accompany Master Thon’s travels with sounds reminiscent of a horse’s hooves clopping? He doesn’t have hooves, the tempo and sound is clearly coming from a beast not nearly as big as Thon, and, well, if you’re going to do it you should damn well do it all the time, not just when you feel like it.

*And is it just me or does that argument Thon uses to sway the Senate into helping the Jedi just really, really not hold any water whatsoever?

*And why does Nomi sing her first line on Onderon (“Need a little help, fellas?”). I mean, she just unashamedly sings it. It just boggles the mind.

*Okay, I’m tired. We’re done here.

*Seriously, steer clear of this train wreck, unless you’re in the mood for mind blowing stupidity.

*CANONICAL STATUS: God, you have to ask? This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*Bad. Warned Against. 1 star.

John Whitman

*Next time, we’ll jump back to the Chronicles of the Old Republic for the next installment: The Naddist Revolt. They certainly do! *rimshot*

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Oh man that sounds like it was painful. And Dark Lords of the Sith with it's pretty crappy art is on the horizon. At least Sith Wars has some cool art.

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would make an audio drama of the Naddist Uprising. It just boggles the mind.

 

I think Dark Lords of the Sith has fantastic art, some of my favorite in the TOTJ line ... until issue #6, where a last minute replacement artist took over, and it was basically a disaster.

 

I might need to re-read Dark Lords because all I remember visually is stuff from the ending.

 

Yeah - the ending art so bad, they re-drew some panels from the last couple pages for the TPB (including changing the Sith Mark from a nifty symbol to a sun - although they didn't change it in Sith War, so it's a weird inconsistency from TPB to TPB). And even with the 'fixed' art, it was still bad.

DLOTS was the first comic I collected every issue for as it came out. #6 arrived for the epic conclusion, I looked at the art, and I was like ..


Clearly it had a big impact on me, as it's decades later, and I'm still raw about it.

 

Chronicles of the Old Republic: The Naddist Uprising

3,998 BBY

*So, anyway, it’s another one of the Chronicles. Remember, these were intended to be free when they were composed, so nothing illegal or unethical about going to the above link and checking them out.

*Anyway, this is the helicopter version of The Freedon Nadd Uprising, of course.

*This says that it was King Ommin’s ‘tribulations’ that called up the spirit of Freedon Nadd to join with him. I’m trying to figure out what that means. At first I thought it meant his disease, but then I remember that the Tales of the Jedi Companion says in Sith Reborn, the chapter we actually talked about way back in 4,000 BBY, has a scene of Ommin and Nadd talking before Ommin actually had his disease. So, not that. Hmm, well, no matter. Clearly Ommin has some bad stuff in his back story.

*So, this is Freedon Nadd Uprising in three paragraphs, which isn’t that much longer than the actual graphic novel.

*But guess who doesn’t even get a mention: Warb Null. Remember in that Sith Reborn chapter, there was this whole thing about how his Sith master told him he was going to be one of the most important Siths in history or something. So much for entering the historical canon.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This attempt to give a backstory to some of the significant participants in the Sith War is a complete misfire; it is considered by most scholars to be completely fabricated. This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*Strongly warned against. ½ star.

*Wow, you know what, we’ve put another ten reviews away. That means that next time, we’ll be hopping back to our special countdown of the 111 Star Wars stories you can’t live without. We’ve already done the big bullet point review of this one, so next time it’ll be the short paragraph take on Tales of the Jedi: Knights of the Old Republic.

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111 Star Wars Stories You Can't Live Without:

4. Tales of the Jedi: The Freedon Nadd Uprising



What’s worse about this one, the fact that it’s only two issues or the fact that it’s so bad you wish it was only one? ‘Brilliantly’ brings our two plots together as Nomi joins Ulic and his friends on Onderon to put down an uprising by a group so bold they aren’t afraid to call themselves ‘Naddists.’

The art is downright terrible. If you can look at the panel of Ulic lunging at King Ommin without bursting into hysterical laughter, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. What’s wrong with Ulic? He is apparently both cross-eyed and constipated, but then so will you be by the time you finish this story.

MOMENT YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Cay Qel-Droma gets his arm cut off. Did you think that happened in Knights of the Old Republic? It did. Did you think it happened in The Sith War? It does. Honestly, why he keeps attaching it, I don’t know. Those Qel-Dromas never could take a hint.

Next time, we’ll jump back into a reference book from this period. Join me next time for Tales of the Jedi: An Era of Conflict!

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Tales of the Jedi Companion: An Era of Conflict



3,998 BBY

*So, this is the first chapter in the Tales of the Jedi Companion.

*Ood Bnar decides to start at the beginning: “Out of the Great Void, came the universe.”

*So, we don’t really have anything like a creation myth for the GFFA, do we? Unless that’s what The Fourth Precept is. And after reading the DotJ stuff, I don’t think it is.

*So, Ood rambles about the Force for a minute and then about the invention of Hyperspace travel and how it was way overpriced if all it was going to do was give you weird stories about Xim the Despot and how he’s not surprised it’s defunct.

*So, then he turns it over to some Jedi Minstrels (God . . . could there be lamer Jedi than Jedi Agricultural Specialists? Yes. Just add lutes.)

*So, then we get seven mostly double columned pages to retell the Beast Wars, the Saga of Nomi and the Freedon Nadd Uprising.

*So, this is a lot more detailed than the Chronicles of the Old Republic, obviously. Even my favorite TotJ character, Finhead Stonebone, gets a mention.

*But this is all by the way. We know this story and this doesn’t really make it any better, though you might think it would.

*Well . . . bad as the visuals are in the TotJ comics at least they’re better than this workmanlike prose.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This patchwork assemblage of various texts is to be considered almost entirely fabricated. This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*Warned against. 1 star.

George R. Strayton

*Next time, Tales of the Jedi Companion: Jedi. Chapter two!

Star Wars Reviews!

 

Tales of the Jedi Companion: Sith Powers



3,998 BBY

*So, in this chapter, Ood Bnar decides to teach us about the Sith. To try to keep it a secret would only encourage us, he says, to investigate on our own which could be disastrous.

*So, this is basically an in-universe history of the Sith, from the perspective of the Jedi.

*It is also filled with misinformation. For instance, we are told here that the Sith retained their societal structure until the arrival of ‘a fallen Jedi,’ who then ‘dominated the Sith people . . . turned them into unwilling thralls . . . proclaimed himself the Dark Lord of the Sith.’

*Now, obviously, as most records now indicate, it was actually a group of Dark Jedi that arrived in Sith country after the Hundred Year Darkness. Admittedly, I don’t remember how many; it says in the Sorzus Syn section of Book of the Sith, but I’ve forgotten. I want to say a fairly small number; less than ten maybe?

*So, is this an attempt by Ood Bnar to smooth over the role the Jedi played in unleashing all these Dark Jedi on the Sith? It could play that way. Most likely, just an accident, but it does kind of give Ood some depth if you choose to kind of retcon it into a purposeful distortion of the facts.

*So, there’s this whole section on How Holocrons Work. I still don’t get it.

*So, there’s a whole section about Sith Talismans and all the different powers you can get from them.

*Get this, from the Ensnarement section: “Devices of this nature appear to function exactly as talismans of concentration. This particular version, however, has one added ability: it can immediately turn the wielder to the Dark Side.”

*I ask again why exactly it was so hard for Palpatine to turn Luke to the Dark Side. We’ve already discovered that he could have just injected him with Sith Poison, cut him with Sith Glass, etc. Now we see that if he could have tricked Luke into putting on a Sith Necklace that he would have ‘immediately’ fallen to the Dark Side, no matter what he wanted to do.

*I swear to God, this just infuriates me. I mean, are the people who come up with this crap idiots? They never saw the movies? What? I mean, it’s not like falling to the Dark Side is hard to understand? You give in to your baser emotions and that leads you there. It’s got **** all to do with frigging poisons or necklaces or whatever. I mean, God, this is about as bad as midichlorians when it comes to just cheapening a powerful spiritual concept.

*I actually kind of dig this detail, namely that some of the Sith Amulets are literally indestructible. Some of them, the book says, were created so that the only way to destroy them is by using the Dark Side, so the Jedi are basically unable to destroy them.

*So, then we get the RPG stats on a bunch of Sith powers and the chapter ends.

*As I said, it’s an in-universe text on the Sith, from the perspective of the Jedi. That makes it sound way more awesome than it actually is. Well, whatever.

*CANONICAL STATUS: This work should be considered a piece of propaganda. It is therefore filled with misinformation, factual errors and purposeful distortions. It is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.

*Distinctly average. Recommended against. 2 stars.

George R. Strayton

*Okay, next time, we’ll wrap up this year with a mad dash through the rest of the companion. Join me next time for Tales of the Jedi Companion: Neutrals – Sites.

Star Wars Reviews!

 

edit: nvm

 

That worries me.

 

why?

 

I was just joking. It seemed like maybe you were invoking someone to smite me down with wrath or something.