Challenge Story A Maia's Apology (Tolkien Oneshot for Angstmongers Annoymous Challenge #8)

Title: A Maia's Apology
Author: gizkaspice
Genre: Angst, drama, parody
Summary: Sauron writes an apology letter to Galadriel and tries to be kind of a nice guy
Timeline: During the Second Age, Season 1 of the Rings of Power, before the foraging of the One Ring.
Author's note: This story was written for @ViariSkywalker 's Angstmonger Annoymous Challenge #8. It's a combination of the Rings of Power, the Lost Tales, the Silmarillion and my story Sauron: The Lord of the Cats where Sauron is basically a cat and this apology letter follows the events that happened there but it's not really a requirement to read any of it. I have included the words fathom, faithless and flout.


To Galadriel,

I know I've been a bit of an nuisance lately for you and for that I'm sorry. I just wanted you to appreciate cats like I do and yet I couldn't fathom why you liked dogs more. I completely flouted Eru Ilúvatar's vision of the world by annoying his Children, such as yourself, with cat songs and that's totally on me. I'll try to do more good for Middle-earth moving forward but I worry it might become a faithless place without feline dominance, don't you agree?

Back when we were on the raft in the middle of the ocean and I was still Halbrand, I overdosed on catnip and you took me to Dr. Tanä and I found the greatest veterinarian for all my cat servants. It was all thanks to you, even though I constantly lied and gave you half-truths who I really was. I didn't want to lie to you but it kind of happened like that, so I'm sorry.

I wasn't always a bad guy, you know. After the great war, I sought out the herald of Manwë myself and repented for my sins. But the herald couldn't grant me pardon and told me to seek judgment in the West, to plead before the Valar in Valinor. My pride didn't let me so I ran away and hid in Middle-earth. I was sincere, but I was afraid--afraid I'll be locked up in the Timeless Void like Morgoth. I admit, his hold still has a grip on me that I fear I will never escape from, but there were moments between you and I where I felt I was free from his influence, where you reminded me what I could have been--like maybe being a craftsman that makes cat jewelry and having my own business or something. But then I turned into a giant cat and tried to drown you in a vision when we were on the raft after you admitted you didn't like cats. To be fair, I should probably rethink my life because writing that down already sounds pretty messed up and I probably traumatized you along with the cat songs.. and....anyways, I'm sorry about all that.

I'm also sorry about your brother. I didn't intend to kill him and I didn't even know he was Finrod---he barged into Tol-in-Gaurhoth and I threw him into a dungeon with giant mice and I guess the mice got him and I'm sorry. I probably should have put more cats in the dungeons knowing the fortress had a giant rodent problem.

And I'm sorry about your toe spacers. I know you received them from Melian and then I stole them for Morgoth thousands of years prior to today's events and chewed them up and blamed it on a dog. It was wrong of me to blame it on an innocent dog but I was too embarrassed to admit I turned into a cat and chewed them up, okay? But I fixed them for you, didn't I? I made them better, better than what they once were.

I'm sorry. For your toe spacers. For your brother. For all of it. I'm sorry.

Your cosmic-connection friend,
Mairon

 

Hilarious. Sauron writing a letter to Galadriel. About his cattish behaviour all the time. Giant mice needing more cats to kill them. Finrod killed by mice. His indulgence on cat-nip and finding Dr. Tanä to serve his cat-servants. And chewing up Galadriel's toe spacers.
A great read for the angst challenge

 

With no agency from me, ohhh nooooo ....

The gift of Melian, you'd think they'd be indestructible! But like the silmarils, they can be lost, or stolen, or masticated ...

Well ... he's trying ... ?? Amazing fun challenge response to a hilariously named challenge!

 

Thank you! He definitely has a lot of apologizing to do.

Melian definitely made the mistake of not enchanting the toe spacers with the Girdle of Melian like she did with the kingdom of Doriath--but I mean, she probably assumed nobody would go about chewing them up.

Now I'm thinking the title actually should just be, "Sauron tries"

And thank you!

 

Things not to do when you like a girl: constantly lie to her.

If I didn't know all the terrible things he's going to willingly do after this, I could almost feel for him. Maybe. A little. But my knowledge of Tolkien lore is fairly limited once we move beyond the films, and this does make me interested to learn more.

Where's Obi-Wan when you need him?

(another item on the list of things not to do when you like a girl: kill her brother)

Uh-huh. Nice try, Sauron.

lolll exactly

Thanks for writing this for the challenge!

 

Thanks so much for coming over and reading/commenting!

It's funny because in the Rings of Power series, there are some really unsettling and weird romantic undertones between Galadriel and Sauron which are like.....super wrong (doesn't stop people from shipping and whatever floats their boat) and I'm more like, "yeah maybe Sauron having a little crush on Galadriel is actually kind of cute or something but how about we just leave it at that and like....not go any further because of very obvious reasons that are very obviously very weird?"

Oh, I 100% recommend checking everything out beyond the films! It's all much better and there is so much world building material there and Sauron is definitely more of a character instead of like...a giant angry eyeball (which doesn't even happen in the books..he has an actual body). But yes, he does, at one point, repent or at least what seems like it (it's debatable, depending who you ask) and I sincerely believe he had a chance of redemption before the foraging of the One Ring but completely blew it. Sauron was also not evil at the beginning (as Tolkien states)--he is an angelic spirit that was present since the beginning of the creation of the world but became corrupted and turned evil. I dont know, that kind of depth is super interesting to explore in villains but it doesn't excuse the fact he is evil as **** and proceeds to do very bad things.

Right???

This literally made me LOL

Thank you for hosting it! It was lots of fun and gave me something to write about

 

This fic is a case study in taking a prompt and turning it on its ear! I love how you kept character elements from both TRoP, like Sauron being completely delusional about being able to justify himself ("I didn't want to lie to you but it kind of happened like that"), and Lord of the Cats, like... well, like his obsession with cats, because Middle-earth would definitely become "a faithless place without feline dominance." Of course he would think that all the "problems" in his relationship with Galadriel are due to a lack of cats, like Finrod's death, which is really such an obvious example. Oh, and does Galadriel agree? Not at all, as a matter of fact, not in the show, not in fanfic!

And of course, the toe spacers had to make their return in style, because their destruction is most certainly the root of the problem. Yeah, Sauron probably needs to go home and rethink his life

 

As a runner and toe spacer possessor, I had wondered if these things weren't yet a kith and kin to that Inquisitoral hold over, the plantar fasciitis night splint. Now my toes can appreciate their angelic blessing while feeling their contemptible, corrupted curse.
.

 

I'd think so!

Thank you so much!

Thank you for reading/commenting and leaving such a lovely long review! Haha, yep, I seem to be on a roll when it comes to taking prompts and turning them into...whatever this is

I love that TRoP made Sauron completely delusional about trying to justify himself because well...he is, really! And of course, all his issues with Galadriel are because she doesn't like cats--Oh, if only she liked cats, that would have solved everything! And of course, Galadriel is the Voice of Reason™ and will never agree with anything he says....especially when it comes to cats.

The destruction of those toe spacers will haunt him forever and somehow I feel he is more remorseful about destroying something that was hand-crafted (being a craftsman) than actually hurting Galadriel's feelings.

Don't you just love those toe space thingiees?!

Thank you for those who read/reviewed and enjoyed the story--much appreciated and apologies for the delay in getting back!