Are You a Depressed JC'er?

I'm really sorry to hear that Roland. I wish I could've helped you out more. Just trust me when I say that it isn't your fault about your parents. There are more important people in your life.

 

I said them for a reason as I indeed meant them.

 

Thanks. I'll let you know if anything happens with getting published. Good or bad. Me friend and I had plans for me to already be away from my parents by now, but it didn't happen. She's about to start graduate school and she's planning to move out of her parents home. She told me that I was more than welcome to live with her when she got a place of her own. So, I took her up on the offer and hopefully, it'll happen.

That sounds great! I am sure that being away from your parents will help a lot. Good luck with that!

It does hurt, more than I thought it would. Sometimes, I've thought about taking a little trip to Alabama to give him a good talking to and then a serious butt kicking. But he's 6'1 and 210 pounds. He'd kick my ass. But it's always been hard for me to be able to trust people. For the longest time, I was afraid to feel anything at all. And then BAM! it just hit me. I hate to say this, but I've regretted every minute of it.

If you need to talk to him, I think you should. But if it's already all settled and it would just be coming back to the problem instead of finding ways to get past it. Lol, most guys would kick my ass.

I really do understand how you feel. Trusting people has always been really hard for me to do, and I often don't say what I really think or feel at all. Sadly enough, all my emotions mainly come out in what I write. It sounds like it was really rough on you, and I empathize. Yeah, it really is hard to look back and let go and not regret it all.

He has given me more than one reason to hate him. I don't like to be toyed with in anyway, shape, or form. Its a painful thing to forget if it's really really bad. What J did... I don't think I can forgive him, ever. He probably doesn't even realize that I hate him. He'll figure it out eventually.

I know what you mean. I *hate* being played with. It is hard to forget things and keep your mind from coming back to the same well-worn paths of misery and remembering. It sounds like it really hit you hard, and it must seem impossible to even think of coming to any kind of reconcilliaton right now. I am sure he will figure it out someday. I think the best thing would be right now not to talk to him too much and focus on other things. Out of sight, out of mind, right? I mean, it is really tough not to remember things, but it helps when the thing that makes you remember isn't there.

I've known this individual for over two years now. He's a really great guy. He can always find a way to make me laugh. When J did what he did to me, this guy was the first person I turned to. He comforted me and then told me he knew it was a bad idea to even be with J in the first place. I do like the guy, though. I like him a lot.

He sounds great for you! Laughter is often a wonderful, healing thing. He sounds like a great person, and someone you can confide in, which is a wonderful thing to have. It's great that he was able to comfort you! It sounds like you have something really great going, and you should just let it take its natural course.

Oh, that's quite alright. I understand that people get busy and forget things. It's understandable. But thank you for the reply.

You are very welcome for the reply! I hope it helped a bit. I will be out of town until Monday, so I won't be able to respond to anything you post until then.

 

I have never actually done anything to physically hurt myself in order to commit suicide, but there have been plenty of times in which I've thought about it & there were times in which I would sit down with a knife in my hands, ready to end it all, but I could never bring myself to do it.

 

I have a lot of issues with my parents also. PArents are your first relationship in life, but that doesn't mean that it is suposed to be your best one. Also parents can get so absorbed in there own issue that they really stop caring about you. They will say that they do, but there actions indicate otherwise. It's a refelection of how messed up they are, and it has nothing to do with you.

Tunic, killing yourself is one of stupidestand wussiest things a person can do. You've made the right choice not to do it. Continue to make the right choice. Also do you see why it would be a stupid wussy thing to do? I'm sure on some level you do since you haven't done it.

 

Tunic, killing yourself is one of stupidestand wussiest things a person can do. You've made the right choice not to do it. Continue to make the right choice. Also do you see why it would be a stupid wussy thing to do? I'm sure on some level you do since you haven't done it.



You are right. I hope that will continue to feel this way in the future, the possibilty that I won't scares me a bit.

 

MyKe1138 posted on 7/1/05 11:38am

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Depression is fed by self pity.

Stop being the victim and feeling sorry for yourself and think about the things that are positive in your life and you'll be less inclined to be in perpetual woe.
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[color=red]There aren't much positive things in my life.[/color]

 

Depression is fed by self pity.

No, it's not. I'd say self-pity can be a problem or factor in depression, but it's hardly fed by it.

 

I go through boughts where I will feel sorry for myself, but it never lasts. Mainly because of that damn motivational speaker. He really ruins my bad moods.

Oooohhhh... I was a Prisoner of War for 6 years in a Japanese Concentration Camp...oohhhhhhhhh..... I had had a much crappier life than you did.

And I realize he is right, and I have to thank my lucky stars for the good fortune I do have.

 

Well tunic if you've gone this long without doing then you can continue to keep on living. Things do pass in time. Also you're going through a bit of an adjustment phase, which always causes stress, whihc cna compound anything else that is going on.

 

When I get depressed, I try to concentrate on how good I have it. I think about the genocide of Sudan, the AIDS epidemic in Africa, the violence in Israel/Palestine, homeless people, etc. etc. Then it makes me even more depressed. Either way, you can't win.

<[-]> Saber

 

NJOfan215 posted on 7/1/05 2:18pm

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Well tunic if you've gone this long without doing then you can continue to keep on living. Things do pass in time. Also you're going through a bit of an adjustment phase, which always causes stress, whihc cna compound anything else that is going on.
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[color=red]Aint that the truth.[/color]

 

Yup. So keep it up Tunick! I decided for my self a long time ago that suicide is not the way to go, as it only grieves those you leave behind but it is too late to change anything for the good. A waste of your live, and a trauma to those around you. Recently rethought that, still the same, it doesn't help anything really. I also found out that I'm not done with live, there will be more (well, at the least finish my Ph.D, right, but then after that, I can't just say: it's over, I feel compelled to go do something with it, thus having yet another reason to keep enjoying live, etc.). Giving up now would be sad and pointless. So I am optimistic that things will be good, enjoy the nice days, try to find good in the bad ones. It works! Well, for the most time. I am not really depressed, I won't let that happen for more than a second: there is almost always something you can do to make yourself feel better. If only, listen to rammstein or leonard cohen, that really cheers me up because they are so ridiculous and so sombre, respectively, that I can't help but feel better about my own live. Or Susanne Vega, actually, try "bad wisdom" for example.

Okay, don't know if that helps anyone but me, sorry if so. I usually am quite cheerfull and optimistic really because I refuse to be otherwise, or something.

Well, I'll move on now, feeling I have not really made my feelings etc. very clear. Usually don't post much about such things anyway. Oh well, on with live

DU.

 

At the moment suicide isn't in my thoughts, but I have pretty much given up all hope that I will find any happiness in my life.

 

Please don't. Live's unpredictable quite often. Well, I wish you strength and hope it will turn for the better for you. For me it helps to take it day by day, enjoy good weather etc, but that may not work for you. You have my sympathy though, and I wish you, again, strength to overcome the difficulties you experience in live. All the best,

DU.

 

There are positive things in your life. I know it just from talking with you. You seriously need to focus on those more often than meditating on the crap.





True, true. But it's kind of hard when there are few positive things to enjoy.

 

Everyone goes through it. I mean everyone.\

Bull-*******-****. Very few people have lives that keep getting worse all the time for years and years.

And stop it with this stupid notion that you can just focus on the positive and that will magically help you get through it. It doesn't work for everyone because whatever miniscule positive part of their lives is so overshadowed by the darkness that it doesn't matter.

 

Defiance posted on 7/2/05 2:49pm

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[i]Everyone goes through it. I mean everyone.[/i]\

Bull-*******-****. Very few people have lives that keep getting worse all the time for years and years.

And stop it with this stupid notion that you can just focus on the positive and that will magically help you get through it. It doesn't work for everyone because whatever miniscule positive part of their lives is so overshadowed by the darkness that it doesn't matter.
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[color=red]That is exactly my problem.[/color]

 

Damn. My psyche degree just doesn't work

Looks like you need to go back and retake some classes.

If you have a psychology degree, it doesn't give you license to parade around your opinions as fact.


It's the way of things, but just know you are not alone in this. Everyone goes through it. I mean everyone.

But not everyone experiences it the same way, or has the same means and ability to deal with what happens.

If depression (and its treatment) were nothing more than people focusing too much on the negative, it wouldn't be the health problem it is today. There are reasons it's often difficult to treat and affects tens of millions of people around the world. These reasons don't involve all these people just needing to look more on the bright side of life.

It's a major disease, and should be treated as such. People respond to different treatments, but all good methods of treatment acknowledge the complexity of depression.

 

I am depressed at the moment. I have become a typical teenage guy with a crush and dosnt know how to handle it. Damned hormones!