Can you call someone a rapist if they were never convicted of the crime?

Here's the police report, etc.

 

When I say rape is a women's issue, this is what I mean: Women are raised to be afraid of rape, to watch our drinks in bars and clubs, to take self-defense classes to prevent attacks, to carry our keys in between our fingers when we're walking alone late at night, to carry mace. Until recently, the burden was entirely on us to prevent our own rapes. Until recently, men were never taught anything about rape. The health class in my high school didn't teach the concept of enthusiastic consent to men, even though it taught all of the things I listed above to women. No one ever framed the discussion in terms of "Don't rape anyone," it was always phrased in terms of "Don't get yourself raped," and it was always aimed at women. I'm not denying that men have been and do get raped, but that doesn't change the fact that rape is overwhelmingly a women's issue.

 

It has always seemed interesting to me that this occurred in a bar bathroom.

I don't know about the other women on the JCC, but I'd have to be unbelievably wasted to willingly have sex in a bar bathroom. See, I kind of have this thing about germs, and I think if there was a shred of consciousness in me that was allowing this to happen by choice for the purposes of accusing someone of rape, I would have been pushing very hard to move someplace sanitary. Like, for instance, a limo.

But instead it happened in a bar bathroom.

Eeew. Bar bathrooms. Eeew.

 

AaylaSecurOWNED, when I say that I don't think it's a woman's issue, that's part of what I mean though. In which case, I think there's an element of talking past one another. When I said the comment about it not being a woman's issue, I wasn't referring to that some men get raped, but that the fact that rape is as much of a threat to women as it is should be of concern to men as well, even if statistically men aren't likely to be at risk.

To sort of give an example of what I mean, several of the nights at CV I got back to my hotel much later than necessary because after food or what not, I'd walk one of my friends that was there back to her hotel, even though it was 2 miles out of my way (she was staying south of convention center, I was north of it) because it meant she wasn't walking by herself late at night around Orlando. So in saying that I don't think it's a woman's issue, my point is more that while women are the ones most at risk, addressing that risk isn't just something women need to be concerned about.
And obviously, it's not like women should just always have a male escort or something, but more that the prevalence/risk of rape isn't just something women should be aware of, but that men should be aware of too and keep an eye out for something that looks suspicious and not just have it be something that women are left to deal with. Just because I'm not a woman doesn't mean I shouldn't be aware of the risk faced by women I know, and men should be, imo, as concerned that something like, 1 in 6 women have faced a rape or attempted rape, even though we're not at risk to become part of that statistic.

 

Mike, can I just say that it looks silly to keep spelling out people's full usernames? I guess I just did, so there. You know Dani's name, you know Lisa's name, and my name. Why spell out people's usernames? It just seems bizarre to me.

 

BECAUSE THIS INS'T THE ****ING SENATE!!!!!!!

 

Partially, it keeps things clear. There's a whole additional layer, but don't really feel like detailing just how socially dysfunctional I am.

 

It could be worse, KnightWriter, you could bold their username.

 

//Further off track

I hate the bolding username thing. They do that in my Fan Force. Pet peeve!!!!!!!

 

Bolding is annoying yes? You could always keylog him.

 

Good idea

 

Wrong.

 

You guys should make a thread about which is worse.

 

That's pretty bad although it's no 'he couldn't have raped her because her jeans were too tight'.

 

u serious?

 

what

 

the

 

Yes. You can argue, upon whatever plane of logic you choose, that some people deserve to die. Try to argue that some people deserve to be raped. People who have been raped generally live, but they're traumatized to a level I'll never be able to understand, and as an outsider I'd consider that almost worthy of the status of "a fate worse than death."

Not that I have any frame of reference, but I think that on a case by case basis there are several more "justifiable" murders. There is no such thing as "justifiable" rape, no matter how the law frames it.

 

Hitler deserved to be raped by a burly gay Jewish fellow who had a mustache fetish. And then killed.

 

we're not talking about deserving to die, though, we're talking about murder. give me an example of someone who deserves to be murdered.

rape victims may be traumitised but at least they have a life in which they can attempt to seek help/therapy in order to overcome their ordeal. being murdered removes all such possibilities. life is all we have.

 

There's a death penalty. There's no rape penalty. Clearly some governments do agree that some people deserve to be dead/killed/murdered.

 

there's a death penalty and not a rape penalty because death is worse than rape as far as a consequence of certain action/deterrant/etc.

if i got offered the choice between rape and death, as punishment for whatever reason, i'm choosing rape every time.

 

prison is kind of a rape penalty.