Darth Vader's body functions

does he still have his 'manhood'?

Yes.

Do not ask me how I know.

Also, if you notice, when he's burning in RotS, it's mostly the flesh on his back and his face that's damaged. His underside would have been relatively safe if he were lying on it.

I also consider the fact that Vader is in constant pain from all sorts of sources, physical and emotional, a rather powerful drive towards certain fetishes. He obviously enjoys causing others pain by choking them, so who knows how far that desire extends. I also think he'd make quite a natural dom.

 

Well, after seeing what Vader looks like in Episodes III and VI, I'll say that sex would just be gross. Of course, thank God, I think that Vader isn't likely to have sex again... ever.

First of all, Vader was obsessed with Padme, to a point where it almost got unhealthy. Even if she's dead, I doubt Vader would cheat on her, nor would he find a relationship that was as meaningful. Being in the state he was, few women would probably want to go out with him, as now both his body and soul had become hideous, and if a woman did find intrest, Vader would most likely turn her down. With his power and influence, if he wanted, he could probably buy sex or force someone into sex (the some of emperor's hands were also his concubines, grossly enough, as in some of the crappy kids novels, he had an ilegitimate son, Trioculus, if you really want a gross image in your head, imagine Palpatine getting it on -_- but, Vader did not. Evil as he is, he's not that much of a creep, and even though Vader has made wrong decisions in his life, I believe he stil has a sense of honor and morality, surprisingly enough.

Also, sex would not only be highly painful, it would be dangerous, damaging, and possibly fatal. Vader is a man with serious heart and lung problems, and sex is the last thing he needs. Also, if his um.... thingies are already damaged, its likely intercourse would damage them even more.

So, needless to say, I think sex is not a part of Vader's lifestyle.

Now that this thread has gone down the gutter, let's try and bring it back. How does Vader eat\drink? Certainly, he can't only eat in his meditation chamber, as he can't possibly always have one nearby. What about the scene in Cloud City?

 

does Vader need to use the restroom? force pooping?
does anyone in the star wars universe have to use the restroom? is there a toilet on the millenium falcon? does anyone take showers? nobody ever looks dirty... even chewy stays pretty clean...

 

This thread scares the crap out of me

 

would it scare the crap out of vader? COULD it scare the crap out of vader?

 

If you remember in ROTS, anakin is lying on his stomach when he burns, also on the operating table he still has some clothing remaining especially over his private parts. that makes me wonder if he did not burn 100% of his body. it is never mentioned in any books that he has to have a bag or catheter. just a thought. also having cyborg parts must make him muscular because he was portrayed has much bigger in episodes 4 thru 6.

Bigger IS better!

 

[(the some of emperor's hands were also his concubines,



Yuck! i'd rather have a force pike up my ass! how can they put that in a kids novel?????

 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????????????????? Trioculus???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

I've had a thing for Vader since 1977, so in my mind at least, he's intactorama. His suit breathes for him and controls his blood pressure etc, so it can certainly handle the increase in heart rate and respiration that accompanies sexual arousal. I find him so hot that what he looks like under the mask is irrelevant. My screen name is from a character I invented as a teenager, a mercenary type who informs Vader that Luke is his son (I know EU has handled this differently)and who becomes Vader's lover.

He still has his "manhood" - trust me. There is still good in him...I know.

 

I too have loved him from the first Star Wars! I remember my father made us see the movie in 77 because he said it would make history in movies, was he ever right!!! all my friends loved Luke but I was a Vader lover, i guess the bad boys always got my attention first.

 

Just trying to figure out the mechanics of shagging Vader trips me out! How.. would that *work* exactly? That suit seems pretty well self contained... I didn't notice a fly or anything on it...

Why oh why did I click here? Why oh why? It is such a strange topic to be discussing, yet now I must ponder! I must know the answers... Strange thoughts fill my head....

EEK!

Cleaning up my act now. As for the food/drink thing.. maybe he has some sort of Intraveneous fluid thing that he is hooked up to while he is in his meditaion chamber? Wouldn't the heat and the gases from the Mustafar have done some damage? I'm kind of sure that sulfur(? long time since I did chem) does bad things to your throat if you get it in your system. Swallowing would be nearly impossible!

 

Well, the concubine thing wasn't in the novel, I'm pretty sure I got that out of The (New?) Essential Guide to Characters. Either that or I read some crap on an internet forum like this one and thought it was true. =E

Well, at least according to the Glove of Darth Vader (which was a crappy, horrible book) Palpatine DID have a son, so he had to have come from somewhere. Course, the EU can kinda be dismissed as apochyphal, and the GODV series was so bad most EU enthusiasts probably will refuse to accept it as canon. His name was something like Trioclulous, and he had three eyes.

Yeah, you can pretty much tell how bad the books were by just hearing that.

 

Why is this thread still open?

 

E107 Theta wrote, "First of all, Vader was obsessed with Padme, to a point where it almost got unhealthy. "

Almost?


Ditto, "some of emperor's hands were also his concubines."

Talk about self love.



Ditto, ditto, "Palpatine DID have a son, so he had to have come from somewhere."

The Emperor was "so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life."

 

I would agree that it probably is intraveneous. But I've heard that, in the original 1976 novel version of Ep. 4 (I believe it was just called Star Wars back then) there is a scene where Vader drinks coffee! It occured just before he chokes the Imperial officer in the Death Star, the one who's lack of faith he finds so disturbing. He supposedly Force-pulled the cup into his hand and downed its contents, apparently through the mask! Now that would get rather messy unless he was using the Force to guide the coffee down his throat and keep it off his face! Of course, that scene, if it ever existed, has been deleted from more modern versions of "A New Hope" but he DOES still pull the cup into his hand for some reason. Showing off, I suppose.
I must say this has proven to be a rather facinating topic...


Cleaning up my act now. As for the food/drink thing.. maybe he has some sort of Intraveneous fluid thing that he is hooked up to while he is in his meditaion chamber? Wouldn't the heat and the gases from the Mustafar have done some damage? I'm kind of sure that sulfur(? long time since I did chem) does bad things to your throat if you get it in your system. Swallowing would be nearly impossible![/quote]

 

I don't recall anything about heart trouble. Lung damage obviously, but his heart seems to be in good enough shape. Physical activity certainly doesn't seem to be a problem or he would have keeled over on Luke several times over, not to mention all his strenuous EU adventures.


Quote:Also, sex would not only be highly painful, it would be dangerous, damaging, and possibly fatal. Vader is a man with serious heart and lung problems, and sex is the last thing he needs. Also, if his um.... thingies are already damaged, its likely intercourse would damage them even more.

 

Are you serious? Somehow the vision of Vader drinking coffee is a little odd... But then caffeine IS the elixir of life (hehe). Hang on. I have one of those original novels kicking about at home... I'm gonna have a read.

The more you think about this topic, the more questions come up!

 

"I find him so hot that what he looks like under the mask is irrelevant."

...................................

You're forty-two, and you use that kind of vernacular? Then again, that "word" was as overused in the '70s as it is today, so....

What is he, the surface of the sun or something?

 

I hate to break this to you, but there are a number of women in the fandom who want to shag Vader. There always have been, even before a pretty boy was cast to play Anakin in the prequels. The fact that you never noticed us before doesn't mean we haven't been around since day one. Google for the Darth Vader Estrogen Brigade.

Smaller still but equally devoted is the Palpatine Estrogen Brigade.

We don't really care what they look like. We're attracted to power and to the ferocious personalities of the Sith. Most of us are interested in the dark side and some of the "applications" it might have. And we're fascinated by trying to figure out just what makes these men tick.

For what it's worth, EU does deal with the matter of both of their sex lives. Palpatine is known to have had concubines, and he has several illegitimate children running around the galaxy. Some of them unfortunately inherited his Force strength. The three-eyed mutant mentioned above appears in the kids' books, and another child/science experiment of Palpatine's comes up in the NJO book Rebel Stand. As far as Vader goes, nothing is confirmed, but in one of the books Luke suspects when he resurrects his father's bombed out old castle on Vjun that it may have been used for Vader's carnal pleasures.

Personally, I'm a huge proponent of the theory that Sith are as sexually loose as anyone out there. The Jedi code is all about restraint and control over bodily urges, and the Sith strive to be the opposite of the Jedi in every way. The dark side is all about tapping the untamed passions that we humans have in common with the beasts. Why not sex?

Vader was obsessed with Padme, to a point where it almost got unhealthy. Even if she's dead, I doubt Vader would cheat on her, nor would he find a relationship that was as meaningful.

You think Anakin and Padme had a meaningful relationship? giggle. Perhaps in a Romeo & Juliet sort of immature and foolish way, I suppose.

 

Google for the Darth Vader Estrogen Brigade.

i could not access this site. is it closed down?

As far as Vader goes, nothing is confirmed, but in one of the books Luke suspects when he resurrects his father's bombed out old castle on Vjun that it may have been used for Vader's carnal pleasures.

do you know what book this was in?

 

jandekianoverlord posted: What is he, the surface of the sun or something?

Well then I guess that applies to Han, Luke, Leia, Lando, Boba, Jango, Panaka, Typho, Obi-wan, Padme, and everyone else the fans have been drooling over since 1977!

*wipes sweat from middle-aged brow*

LOL!

 

That's what I've heard. I too thought it very odd. If anyone can confirm that it is true or NOT true, inquiring minds would really like to know. LOL.

 

Well, it you ever do figure out what makes them tick please clue the rest of us in. Inquiring minds would like to know that too.

Quote:
We don't really care what they look like. We're attracted to power and to the ferocious personalities of the Sith. Most of us are interested in the dark side and some of the "applications" it might have. And we're fascinated by trying to figure out just what makes these men tick.