Brace yourselves - the last entry is coming up after this set of replies. And it's not a light read, neither will the epilogue be one. In fact, I don't know which is worse. Thanks for reading! Also, for anybody who was sick of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, the next DDC's protagonist doesn't drink a single drop of alcohol at any given point - which doesn't mean that she's not messed up in different ways. Once again, you're brief, but spot-on. The thing that he does not want to face, ultimately, is HIMSELF. His real self, who he was before this diary. And since that should be obvious with the black stripe reference... Spoiler He is the protagonist of these Before era stories: http://boards.theforce.net/threads/...obio-forewords-posted-february-18th.50038900/ The baggage had become too heavy - in more than one way. I was thinking of Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street when writing this entry. That song portrays an alcoholic who will quit "soon", but it's pretty clear that it's never going to happen. And sadly, there were fresh memories of seeing that kind of stuff happen IRL, and...I channeled them the best way I could. As a straight-edge person, the most I can give to the most one is empathy and I hope that it looked believable. Dingo is probably not aware that Lil is a spice abuser, he himself drinks because there's nothing else to do in that vukojebina. And if you're looking for strung-out entries, they're 01 and 09: http://boards.theforce.net/threads/...ble-new-december-23rd.50037130/#post-53084154 http://boards.theforce.net/threads/...w-december-23rd.50037130/page-2#post-53309816 In a way, he's running away from himself AND becoming himself again. If he senses that [hl=black]end is near[/hl], he would probably prefer to [hl=black]go as himself, not Lil[/hl]. You're absolutely free to state the very obvious right now. It was meant to be crystal clear as of that entry. Ironically, he's probably seeing twice as many stars as possible. A stereotype, I know, but just...just think of all the possibilities he missed, all the chances he blew. That's what his thinking process is like, yes.