Saga - OT [DDC 2017] Doaba Ke'demii - The Diary of a Young Comradette (OCs | ANH/TESB) - COMPLETE, e-book soon

starting to read from today's (June 28, '17) journal entry:

thoughts

blasetreegoatAU is LumiaSarlaac?

Doria, be a good comrade and be grateful.

 

Interesting ... Doria's mind continues to expand, and the question of whom her 'Net correspondent is deepens ...

 

Reply to entry for May 28

Just when you think Porky is about as rotten as they can get, he proves that he can go even lower. So the whole thing with Doria was a bet that he had that he could get into her progressive knickers. What a slimeball. No wonder he was such a rotten boyfriend. And of course, the great double standard – he is the aggressor but she is a tart – she must have led him on.
I hope Porky doesn’t get revenge on Doria for failing to be his victim, but I wouldn’t put it past him. And poor Rende seems to have gone through the same experience. I hope they can help each other to get back on their feet.

Yay for Gredda for being the best!

Reply to entry for June 8

A quiet day to start – I like how Doria knows when her mom is lying because she becomes extra nice.

I like that Doria has begun to explore the galaxy outside of Saccoria, although she may find it very daunting. I notice that her new friend uses the same text slang as Porky did so I wonder if she is a fellow Saccorian. I’m still not feeling confident about the fallout from Porky’s outrageous behavior at the dance, and I don’t know why he keeps texting her. Hope Rende is ok.

Reply to entry for June 20

I’m concerned now. Rende is being very distant and nobody has seen Agroproprius. I hope they are doing ok. That “strange comment about making unwise decisions” could just as easily be applied vindictively to Rende and Agroproprius as to Doria. It sounds like someone (I’m looking at you, Porky) has been spreading nasty rumors around.

Aaand I knew it. Porky tried to blame the whole incident on Doria, saying she was taking advantage of him while he was drunk and blaming the “naked in the field” punishment for losing the bet on her. He is awful. And a coward.

That’s….so sad. The idea that you need to get everything out of those you want to hurt. Doria gets it – Porky wanted to hurt her, in so many ways, and he was determined to squeeze every bit out of the experience, to satisfy him.

That’s --- that’s awful. But I can see it happening. Jan (and Tendra, it appears) sympathize with Doria, but they don’t empathize with her. They can understand why what happened was so awful, but they don’t see how it applies to them personally. So they can shake their heads and get all mad about it with Doria but that doesn’t mean they have to change their friendships with the guy who caused the problem in the first place. Sad but more common than you’d think.

Reply to entry for June 28

Doria’s family is certainly unwilling for her to learn more about Dyeke. I haven’t read Midnight Darkness yet, but I bet it ties into the family. Then they give her a poetry book to redirect her attention from Dyeke, and of course Doria loves the poems that challenge the progressive authority. I like that Doria is reading these kind of books and that she herself is interested in creating art. She is starting to figure out who she is.

I wonder what BlasetreegoatAU is up to, if she knew about the trick with the planetary code for packaging and was not entirely surprised by a rebel x-wing candy in the package.

Still kind of thinking that this whole disaster with Porky isn’t over just yet.

 

Sometimes non-eventful is a good thing, especially after you've experienced the kind of events Doria has. While it's a shame that she doesn't get to go somewhere fun for her holiday, it sounds like she puts her time to good use. Nice to see how your Universe further ties together, with Doria finding inspiration in Dyeke's story. It's too bad that she only gets the official, progressive version of his life and that those who know the truth are disinclined to share it. At least Doria is sharp enough to notice some of the inconsistencies, and Dyeke's work can speak for itself.

Doria is seeing more and more the cracks in the progressive façade of Sacorria...and yet not.

This is exactly why they are banned; flying is not progressive. Youth must be molded into efficient little cogs in the Sacorrian machinery, not encouraged to think and feel for themselves--the kind who feel they should report suspect X-wing shaped chocolates, but don't give much thought to the fact that the chocolates were made by slaves. Blasétreegoat is right, it worked.

It's great that Doria continues with her creative endeavors writing and drawing, but it's disappointing that she has so little support. I wouldn't expect the stuffy Comradette Malokio to be sympathetic, nor, to a certain extent, expect much support from Maris, either (though it's pretty sad that Doria feels her mom would condemn her art as a "wrong thing), but you'd think that Gredda would be more supportive.

Here's hoping that Doria will hang in there and keep doing what she loves, no matter what!

 

Ooh, I love that Doria is discovering even a heavily edited version of Dyeke's life... there's something very satisfying about that idea. Both of them have had the experience of growing up as square pegs that don't really fit into the arbitrary roles they were assigned on Sacorria. (But really, Roula of Pelayn, just NO. Ugh. In a way maybe it's good that she's such a pathological liar -- she literally can't keep herself from editing her story to the point that even someone as uninformed as Doria begins to pick up inconsistencies. )

 

Comment space goes here. I'm four days behind my schedule and I need to recombine stuff and hurry up. But don't worry, I will come back to respond to them at some point and, as always, I am extremely grateful that you folks are reading. <3

Replies to comments added on November 27th, 2017.

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Nope.

You are fast at figuring out how it works on this progressive planet!

As long as it does not result in HEADASPLODE...

You're right about Rende, as well as the "logic" a typical Sacorrian would use here.

On a lighter note: HA-HA, PROGRESSIVE KNICKERS!

Lack of mentions of Rende in the next entries are just to illustrate how an average Sacorrian does not give a flying frog about such events. He will appear near the end, I think...and this won't be mentioned.

And that's a good thought, about the slang. But I guess that teen slang could persist across numerous star systems.

Nothing to add here.

There's a darker interpretation to this: they do, but they fear it,too!

That one doesn't, but the other one...

Of course - truly subversive things are not an issue, the made-up ones are. #fridgelogic

You'll see...

That last thing is a good, good point! People with affinity to art can "read" art, so to speak of.

Nothing to add.

Malokio is full of it, isn't she?

*fingers crossed*

You totally get the whole idea! BRAVA!

He is not that sick, plus he is too busy with adultery.

And yup, Maris CAN be a decent being.

She would probably connect it to some pseudo-scientific concept...

Embarrassment. Nobody blames her.

And yes to the last sentence.

I still have not decided if she will ever use it, but...Tendra's dad might!

By now, you know the reasons...

I did that in my only NSWFF fic so far - the author reacts to The Black Star.

Branna isn't as subversive as Gredda...but she is subtly, subtly so.

Clandestine things tend to take the strangest of shapes...sometimes.

You're a ketchup professional!

 

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I was wrong about Gredda when I typed out that last entry. Of course that she cared about my drawings. As a matter of a fact, she had a plan that she didn’t want to tell me about until the very last day. Then, on this Sacorday evening, she told me to pack my things and she asked mom if there are any boardski clothes that I could get in. Mom asked what was going on and Gredda said that she was taking me to the Varalena Resort for a couple of days, while on a business trip. She kind of protested, I think she might have been jealous, but she dragged out some stuff and I tried it on. It was all too big in the hips! Not sure if mom is tiny or if I’m huge. Gredda shrugged and asked mom for a couple of hundreds, then we went for some last-minute shopping. I don’t like messing around the Spaceport Mall, but now that I have memories of that one day with Jax, it’s not that bad.

We got this black boardski jumpsuit with pink contrast stich, a pink snowjackette and a helmet made from the same materials as TIE-Fighter pilots’ gear. Wow! That’s got to be dead progressive in its own little way! Gredda said that we will rent boardskis there, so we didn’t get any actual gear of that kind.

The next morning, after mom gave me a bunch of unnecessary advice – e.g. that I don’t need to take off the bodysuit worn underneath the boardski jumpsuit if I want to use the ‘fresher because there are these two buttons on the crotch, and that I should not be accepting drinks from men I don’t know – we departed in Gredda’s zherry-red Saygo Triad. I always liked that speeder, a lot. There was a snowstorm by the time we passed the province borders of Berssia and Corelle and, by the time we approached Sublata, we could not see the Triad Mountain at all, other than this little black spark that Gredda told me was a natural phenomenon. Now, maybe I’m a total and absolute wermo, but it looked like the black star on her necklace…there was that resemblance!

We spent one day in Sublata. I thought that we were just there as tourists, but Gredda took me to SUPAS! She wanted to see the dean, but there was only the vice-dean, somebody named Saride, a Selonian male whose dress style kind of scared me. He explained that the dean, a Drall woman named Roula of Pelayn, was in the process of resignation because of “other commitments” and Gredda made this comment that he should not be so certain that it’s his turn. He definitely didn’t like that.

This Roula asked me to draw. While I was drawing, she made all these comments about my orange shirt, but she seemed to think it was a good thing. She then asked me to finish some thoughts from our most progressive philosophers and, since I knew all of them by one, she just nodded her head to each thing I said. This looked good, I must admit. In the end, she stopped the holocam droid and I was then told that we should be waiting for my results. The board of SUPAS will decide if I am a good fit for their programmes or not.

I only wanted to sleep after this. I am not sure why. I was sleeping in the speeder already and I woke up when we got to the slopes on the back of the Triad Mountain. Valanera is awesome! We had a room in a nice hotel named Iassoné after the mythical founder of Sublata and we had a view of a town named Maborri, on the other side of the mountain from Corelle’s regional capital. In the morning, from our balcony, you could see the sky looking very strange in the direction of the Northern Polar Cap. I wonder if those are some whacky experiments that blasetreegoatAU told me about or something natural. She said that everything is possible on my planet and I did not believe her, a-ha-ha. Maybe she can’t get over how beautiful and progressive Sacorria is compared to her planet?

Anyway, the holiday itself. One week of pure, pure bliss!

It was surreal. Board-skiing down what would have been the backs of the giants’ heads. Standing on their shoulders. Of course, we wanted to go and visit the very top of the mountain, its highest peak, Roofus’ right ear, but we were not allowed to because of a large snowfall and possible avalanche. In the evenings, I would stay at the hotel room and either holocomm mom or randomly hyperspace the HoloNet, and Gredda went to a couple of gatherings in Maborri. I’m pretty sure that she was in Sublata one more time, because she only came back later in the morning. Perhaps she has a boyfriend there? Apparently, she was visiting somebody called Ekram. From the name, I am pretty sure that he was a fellow Drall. But why would she be hiding such a thing from me?

Overall, this winter holiday was quite nice. No deaths involved, for a change. And, unlike last time around, there was actual snow. It would have been much better without all these boys coming to bother me and asking me why my suit was tight and if they could help me. Like, how would you help me? There was one that was very annoying, he kept on asking me to go back to his hotel with him. I told him that I had my own hotel and he muttered a “kriff”, but that did not stop him from coming back and appearing behind me on the hoverlift the next day and ask the same question. He asked me about my name and I told him that it was Maris. He said that it was his favourite name and that he is absolutely against these modern names that don’t mean anything. A-ha, if he only knew that I was named after a cake.

I have not spoken to blasetreegoatAU while in Sublata. I can’t wait to talk to her again. I need to tell her that I have a diary and that, after eighteen entries, I finally have a name for it – DOABA KE’DEMII. I am not sure if they have Olys Corellisi on her planet, but that means “peace of the mad” and I really like the idea of creative madness. If I get to SUPAS, I need to be that way.

Once we got back, I almost asked Gredda about this Ekram. But I changed my mind, I will ask her some other time.

Mom seemed a bit jealous when I returned, but that was to be expected. I was, more or less, ready for it. I brought her some souvenirs, but she didn’t like them – she said that black light in the hologram-box we got looked like poodoo. I hope she changes her mind, because Gredda picked it for her and I picked a pair of black synthleather gloves that she said looked “too cybernetic”. Like, come on, wermo, I am freaked out by cybernetics, why would I have picked something that looks like them for my own mother!!!

But this was one of the best holidays, ever. Right after the Estainia one ten years ago! I want to go back to Varalena again and show mom how beautiful it is, though perhaps dad had already taken her there when they were young like me…or something.

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Footnotes

Spoiler

Valarena Resort is fanon.

Maborri is based on Maribor, Slovenia; much like Sublata is based on Ljubljana. Fanon.

 

Hurray for Gredda! She didn't forget about Doria, after all! Far from it, she takes her on a lovely holiday to board ski in the mountains! The setting sounds absolutely gorgeous and it sounds like Doria enjoyed herself despite the presence of those wonderful Sacorrian boys. Love her combination of teenage snark and naïveté as she writes about them ("Like, how would you help me?" ). Looks like Maris was right to give her all those warnings, even if Doria doesn't realize it yet. And this made me laugh out loud:

Doria, if you'd told him your name was just "Cake", it would have been his favorite, too. So much better than those stuffy old-fashioned names!

But for Doria, the visit to SUPAS has to be as good or better than the skiing holiday. However, given the little that I know about Roula and Saride, I worry about her chances of "fitting in" there. I worry about her if she does fit in As an artist, I'm kind of suspect about Roula making Doria draw in front of her. It just reminds me of those "tests" where you're supposed to draw the cartoon dog or whatever to see if you're "good enough" to get into art school. I feel like what Roula is looking for is someone who fits (or can be squashed) into her mold.

It seems that Doria is noticing odd things around her more often these days--the mysterious "black star" phenomenon over Triad Mountain, Gredda's late night visit with "Ekram"... I hope she will find answers as her perceptions continue to sharpen, though I fear that finding those answers won't be as satisfying as she might think. Despite all of her developing sensibilities, this is just so, so Doria:

Sigh...progressive... yes, that's what it is.

Another great entry, and as always, looking forward to more.

 

Interesting post, EP - these quiet ones, where little seems to happen, but it actually bubbles under the surface, are always the ones I find most intriguing ...

Good to see Gredda challenging Doria's perceptions, and getting her to expand them; Maris is still somewhat of a killjoy, but she does mean well in her own way. Unfortunately, Doria doesn't seem to be finding any boys more intelligent than Piggy ...

 

Nice to see Doria getting to experience a little downtime here; she definitely needed the change of pace and it looks like Gredda had the perfect idea. Between the shopping, university visit (with cameos -- wonder what's up with Roula? ), and skiing up in the mountains, Doria has had some space to clear her mind and enough activity not to drive herself in the same old circles. And we get to know the full meaning of the diary title; I had actually wondered if it could have Corellian roots since I remember the word ke'dem.

Side note, but remembering how much Dyeke hated the Triad Mountain statues and saw them as some sort of malevolent presence... it's rather amusing to think of them snowed over and covered with hordes of skiiing/snowboarding/etc teenagers.

 

I'm glad Doria had fun.

 

Interesting update. It seems that Doria is starting to see new options for herself and starting, maybe, to notice things that would have escaped her before. The thing that jumped out at me was Gredda's black star pendant, especially in light of your other work The Black Star. Then there's that "little black spark", and then the strange phenomenon that Doria sees in the morning. At first I thought it might be an aurora, but now I'm not so sure. Then conveniently the top of the mountain is off limits, and Gredda is disappearing. Makes me wonder about the connection between Gredda and blasetreegoatAU.

The title of her diary, "Peace of the mad," makes me think of Anjie for some reason.Idk why but that was the first thing that popped into my head. Doria isn't mad at all; she's the sanest one out there.

And oh, the boys. I get the feeling that Doria is much prettier than she is giving herself credit for. All those boys hitting on her. She's smart to tell them to go pound snow. The last thing she needs is a boy in her life. She should be taking care of herself instead. Glad to see that she is away from that school and the stress of Porky and his ilk. She deserves a break.

 

I forgot to update. Darn it.

Anyway, I am sorry for another space for comments. I greatly appreciate with what you all write, but I cannot keep up due to my health problems. I promise that I will return and give every comment the love it deserves, but until then - love for all of them together. I read each and single one of them. <3 <3 <3 You people are wonderful and supportive.

Replies to comments added on November 27th, 2017.

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Glad that you enjoyed the bolded part.

There is a backstory to the name in the last chapter of Quite a Handful. But yes, it IS a cake, albeit a Vagranite one.

You're good at this...probably because of your artistic background!

She will fill those for later, as Findswoman often says...

That's it! Couldn't have said it better myself.

All three of these pigs nod in agreement!

Roula is never a good sign. EVER.

The other side of the mountain is where the resorts are, but still...funny, indeed!

You're guessing way.too.many.things.here.

And yes, it's all going to make sense...eventually.

Anjie would probably opt for a looooong, complicated title. But you were onto something, as usual.

I love to explore the idea of the sanest ones being mad, indeed-y. I have this series of short stories in my native languages, some of which I translated to English and some of which I'm yet to translate, where this old man knocks on literally everything he sees, even things that are not doors. In the first story, he looks like he's the crazy one...but in every next story, he gets to meet some really, really odd people, who make him A-OK in comparison.

Yes to all of the above.

 

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I have started using HoloNet much more ever since we returned from Sublata. SUPAS is so progressive, in this “liberal” way and I need to become less of a completely clueless being in order to fit in there, in case I get the scholarship. Pardon, with Gredda in charge, I am almost certainly getting it, so I’m just passing the time until my last semestre at this stupid, stupid agricultural school I never wanted to go to.

There is even a test that will tell you what’s your age in standard years based on your choice in Empire Day costumes for tooka cubs. It’s so much fun! Mine told me I was 75 and the cub I had picked had this really, really angry facial expression and huge teeth! That’s, like, older than Duchess Branna, Great Aunt Larax and Great Uncle Geo. And another one told me which ANGRY MACE product I am most likely to buy. Ironically, I got the one that we don’t have in this planetary system.

I told blasetreegoatAU about the tests and she told me that I had been wasting my time and that I should be looking at serious things, say, the deep Rebel web. But-but, Rebels are terrorists!

She reminded me of what Jax was saying about Alderaan. Is she trying to tell me that he secretly works for Rebels and spreading their propaganda???

I also told her about things strange message that my mom received while I was away:

CATO NEIMOIDIA DEVELOPMENT BANK - The Pan Neimoidian Bank
Commcode: 544668892456
E-mail: drbot_fudd49@hyperyak.gal

REF: FGN/LOS/BIS/AACB/ADFB-03/17

Attention: Fund Beneficiary

Congratulations on the approval of your Contract Inheritance Fund by the Bank for Galactic Settlement and Association of Corporate Sector Central Banks as directed by the New Republic Bank.

The Bank for Galactic Settlement and Corporate Sector Central Banks through the Central Bank of Cato Neimoidia has directed us to release your Contract Inheritance Fund, which is in line with the Financial Regulatory Acts and Deeds of the Galactic Monetary System. We hereby apologize on behalf of the Bank for Galactic Settlement and Association of Neimoidian Central Banks for the unlawful delays of the release of your fund by the countries of the World and their financial institutions.

We have been mandated to release your Contract Inheritance sum of US17,500, (Seventeen Thousand Five Hundred Imperial credits) within the next 14 working Standard days and you have been given 48hrs to respond to this letter, because your name is short-listed for payment this First Quarter, Batch ‘C’ Payment Release Order.

We have processed the release of your Contract Inheritance fund through HoloSwift Transfer ordering within 48 NSH according to the Offworlder Payment Policy of the Galactic Monetary System and The Financial Intelligence Unit (FIU).

In view to the above, you are required to re-confirm the follow details to us for onward release of your fund to you as directed.

Your Full Name,
Contact Address
Commcode, Home/Office Holocomm code, Company Name, Position, Marital Status, Sex, Bank Details (Bank Name & Address, HoloSwift Code, Account No. & Name), any Means of identification.

Note that all payment transactions such as Contract Fund, Inheritance Fund and Winnings Fund has been directed to this bank for payment and you are strongly recommended to start your payment clearance as soon as possible and also desist from any further communication with any person(s) or office(s) to avoid cancellation of your payment.

Your expedite response is needed.

Yours in service,

DR BOT FUDD
Holotelex Director
Cato Neimoidia Development Bank

She said that it was a “typical Neimoidian scam” and that mom should not be falling for it.

So, she asked Dr. Bot Fudd if she could discuss the offer with him via HyperYak, given that his e-mail address disclosed was from the free portal and not Cato Neimoidia Development Bank. He accepted and this was where, err, fun started. I am not sure if I would call it fun, because it made mom furious.

blasetreegoatAU introduced herself as Maris Vorr and said that she was not informed of these funds. Then this Fudd said he was an heir and explained how his father is now in the Imperial Prison colony on Kessel. He said that he has to transfer his father’s money back to Neimodia and that he had to find somebody reliable on a Core Worlds planet, because he was getting desperate.

“Poor man!” was what mom kept on repeating all along, but blasetreegoatAU ignored her comment and asked why Sacorria. He was notably late with his response, but once he did type it out, it turned out that he knows our banks are really safe and our ways really progressive.

Eventually, he said that he would give my mom one tenth of his father’s money and explained how, according to the Neimoidian rules, she needed to first deposit 2000 credits as a guarantee, to his bank account.

This is where we too figured it had been an enormous scam. But blasetreegoatAU said that the fun was not over here and she kept on asking all these incredible question. Fudd kept on responding, further revealing his alleged connection to the Separatists from the Clone Wars and a supposed gold mine on the neutralised planet of “Geonosia.”

I snorted. It’s, like…everybody knows it’s called Geonosis?!

Then blasetreegoatAU terminated the connection to him and we all laughed. Mom thanked BTGAU (hey, isn’t that abbreviation awesome?) and asked her about her name. This was the first time that she felt comfortable with revealing it and said that she is Dede. I said that aunt Larax calls me Dodo sometimes, and that this is an INCREDIBLE COINCIDENCE.

My mom liked this, too. She is finally starting to accept the fact that I have a yak-buddy on another planet and she likes this idea of Dede and Dodo. Well, so do I! And when we’re going all forcey on these mean scammers, I like it even more. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Footnotes

Spoiler

The suspicious e-mail is a copy of one such mail I received, with names and place names changed. Now, why would Neimoidians be the ones to scam others? Not sure, but they seemed so to me.

 

Alderaan.

It has began.

Deep rebel web? Dont' fall for it, Doria!

Scammers have come to Secorria.

 

Some things are cross-universal constants, and it seems like Internet/Holonet fluff is one of them! Love the idea of silly quizzes crossing over to the GFFA, along with tooka pictures (and perhaps Grumpy Tooka?) Don't worry, Doria, getting 75 as your age just means you have classic taste (and I'm not just saying that because I always get those kind of results on those quizzes, too ) And of course, I always love it when ANGRY MACE products make an appearance. Now you've got me curious what product Doria is likely to buy, and if it has vengeance sprinkles.

And the other constant: scam spam (or perhaps in the GFFA Spam is ANGRY MACE Artificial Meat Product?) Thank goodness for Dede or poor Maris would have been snookered in by the "illustrious" Dr. Bot Fudd! Can I just say how much I love the name? It really tells you all you need to know about "him" right there! I would ask if he hunts wabbits--er, hoojibs?--in his spare time, but given that a "bot" is an automated computer script, maybe not.

As always, we get to see the dichotomy between Doria's worldview and the truth. We know the Rebels are the good guys, but if you accept the Empire as the legitimate government, then, yes, they're terrorists. (And that viewpoint was probably pretty prevalent!) But interestingly, Doria describes what she and Dede do to Fudd as "going all forcey". Hmm...seems like even Sacorrian progressiveness can't quash all mention of the Force.

As always, great work and looking forward to more!

 

EP - apologies I missed your latest update; RL's been keeping me running. I really hope you feel better soon.

And a Neimoidian e-mail scam ... ! Brilliant stuff.

 

Thanks for your awesome comments once again! And Onderon1, this is what I'm hoping, too. For the starters, I would like to be able to write faster and more, like I used to. This is annoying.

Replies to comments added on November 27th, 2017.

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On Sacorria, you pick the scammers.

Spoiler

They're boardskiing on the other side of the mountain, sadly.

Maris was absolutely right. She couldn't practice what she preached, but she doesn't want Doria to fall for it herself.

HOW I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT.

It's very fitting for her...but for some of us, too!

But of course.

Spammers' lack of spelling skills has always been something that made me chuckle. I just had to do it.

As for his first name - figures. The last name - totally borrowed from Looney Tunes.

I don't even remember what this was about. I guess I fixed it...?!

 

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Mom and I talked about Porky for the first time since everything that had happened. I said the thing that I’ve wanted to say for quite a long time – that I am surprised that she didn’t push me to get back with him, mostly because dad would have and he always did, despite the fact that I did not like how my ex-boyfriend looked from the very start. He kept on telling me that Porky’s being slightly overweight and the fact that he was not handsome were not important because aurek, looks did not matter and besh, I did not need a handsome future husband when I had a handsome father.

She asked me if we had actually…you know…before the incident. But, where did that come from? Of course we have not. For one, I never cared about that aspect of life. And once again, he’s kriffin’ ugly and now when we’re no longer together, I have no problem admitting it. Our children would have looked like him. Or Comradette Gladiola. Sex would have brought that particular problem, so why would one have done it? And why would anybody want to do that kind of no-no stuff without asking previously.

Then mom asked me what kind of boys I actually like and I didn’t know what to say.

I told her that Jax was really cute face to face, but that it’s not it. He has the body of an astromech droid, almost no neck. That, and his eyes are kind of *too blue* when not on the viewscreen. I love blue as the colour of the sea, but when eyes are blue, they need to be a little bit darker.

I said that the only boy I would consider for a relationship would be Jan – which feels ewww, because we have been friends for so many years, but that I would have proposed him a marriage out of interest had nobody else come along, because he might be spineless sometimes, but he’s always been my friend and understood me.

Mom shook her head.

She said that there was something I needed to know about Jan and that she noticed it and was hoping that I would have noticed it, too.

She claimed that Jan is a homaysexual. You know, the unthinkable – a man who would have sex with another man! And that’s forbidden here because, of course, why wouldn’t it be? Having younglings is progressive and two males cannot produce a youngling without a uterus transplant, and that’s cloning and therefore illegal!

This was where mom told me that cloning was not illegal, either. Apparently, somebody whose name she does not want to reveal because “it’s a deal” once found out something awful about Selonians in our planetary system. She is not sure what it is, because that being “did not want to get her in trouble”, but it “concerns large Selonian females”.

I think mom is great sometimes. But she is also full of bantha poodoo. Jan, a homaysexual? Cloning with Selonians? Sometimes she is just not…not Sacorrian enough. Of course, I am not going to report her, because she is my mother and all, but sometimes, I’m worried about her.

But blasetreegoatAU says that I am getting less and less Sacorrian every day. She didn’t like what I said about homaysexuality and explained to me that I was not exactly heterosexual either – oh, my Triad, how dare she, but I love her – and that there was nothing wrong with premarital sex if you are over a certain age and in love with the other being – of whatever gender, sex and species they might be.

The world shocks me sometimes. I’m glad I have not been to another planet in a long time, ever since that trip to Estainia before they closed off the second spaceport on Vagran. Looks like everything has gone mad ever since the Rebels blasted the Death Star and destroyed Alderaan!

Anyway, I have been a little “rebellious” myself and I made a list of traits for an ideal boy:

Age: older than me, I’m sick of younglings, but I want him to be young at heart.
Eye colour: Like mine
Hair colour: Does not matter, but I want him to have nice hair, better than mine
Height: Taller than me
Build: I want him to be thin, but not really thin. Not sure how to explain!
Profession: Government legislator, like Comradette Nola and Comrade Jhorn – that would be nice
Planet of residence: Sacorria or Noleria
Species: Ha-ha, why does this even have to be a question? Baseline Corellian Human ONLY.
What makes him handsome: A killer smile, nice eyes, not much body hair, not wearing ugly colours!
Anything else: Perhaps he could be an orange shirt, like me? We would so understand each other.

Now I just have to do what that one HoloSite said: say some sort of forcey magic words (does the famous Darth Vader know that girls around the Galaxy are playing with the Force???) and send this text to twelve of your friends. If three of them respond, you will find your boy and if they don’t, you’re going to stay alone for the rest of your life.

// SUBMIT DATA

---

 

Wow.
I didn't realize Imperial propaganda would go so far as to say the Rebels destroyed Alderaan. Hm... Well, at least indirectly But wow, that's just efficient propaganda at work, 'm I right?

Okay, Doria officially grew up.

Species: I see what you did there.

Is this last line some sort of GFFA bloody mary?

 

Wow, good for Maris in a lot of ways. It's good that she isn't pushing Doria to get back with Porky, at least now that she knows how truly reprehsinble the Pork Butt is. It's kind of sad that Doria's father pushed them together--looks aren't that important, but Dad thought well of himself, didn't he Maris also turns out to be quite a bit more perceptive than she seemed. I've had suspicions about Jan for awhile, and it looks like they were correct. Poor Jan, I can see where Sacorrian progressiveness will not be kind to him, though despite Doria's shock and horror, Maris doesn't seem particularly bothered. Good for her.

And now I wonder if Doria will put two and two together about what her mother said about Selonian cloning and large females and her large Selonian classmate who regularly disappears.

Doria has some real misconceptions about loving relationships and especially the role of physical affection within those relationships. It makes me want to roll my eyes and hug her at the same time. All that "eww" stuff is a lot less eww when you find someone who--unlike Porky--loves and respects you. At the same time, physicality is not the be-all end-all of a relationship either. (And the prudish mom in me wants to assure her that there's nothing wrong with waiting, indeed it's better than rushing in if you're uncomfortable).

And, whoa, you're such a rebel, Doria, making such a controversial list of what you want in a man Chain e-mails making quasi-mystical promises are a pan-universal constant, too

 

EP - Sorry I didn't reply sooner to this one, either ...

I continue to be pleasantly surprised by Maris' capacity for sensibility and support for her daughter - askew as it can sometimes be, she does clearly care.

And Doria ... well, she's trying to make some steps forward ... but she needs time. And more advice from blasetreegoat.