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Saga - OT [DDC 2017] Doaba Ke'demii - The Diary of a Young Comradette (OCs | ANH/TESB) - COMPLETE, e-book soon

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    “I don’t know”: Well, one thing I certainly DO know is that both Sophronim and Seegmon D’fraud are full of it. :p I can’t say it better than Raissa Baiard did: sometimes (indeed, usually) an Amphyplax is just an Amphyplax, and hey, how about feeling sad about the Amphyplax’s death just because you’re A SENSITIVE, GOOD-HEARTED PERSON who would rather life went well for those around you? Not to mention that the orange-shirt breasts comment was just downright creepy and generally un-OK. [face_sick] Of course, the other side of the coin is that Doris’s own view of relationships and sex and love still needs a lot of refinement: there are ways to “know” another in the dark, and not just physically. Of course I see the tie-in to the [hl=black]night blindness that becomes a theme in the later Doria stories[/hl], which means it’s no mistake that [hl=black]this chapter ends with Doria’s reflections on her “fantasy man” from some time ago[/hl]. Hmm...! [face_thinking]

    I think I see what Pan is getting at about finding a PLACE to connect to, and ways that that too could be prophetic for Doria’s own story. @};-

    As to this former almost-love-interest of Maris’s, I’m pretty sure I know exactly who that is, and have a feeling Doria will eventually get the chance to learn more about him. ;)

    “I Mean, I Really, Really Don’t Know!”: Well, one thing Doria does seem to know really well is how she plans to proceed with her seedling droid project. Her proposed design makes good sense, a lot better than Tendra’s a protocol droid who would presumably be giving some sort of lengthy and very PROGRESSIVE speech in the process of casting seeds. As Raissa notes, it just goes to show how completely unable the average red-shirt student is at thinking outside a very small, very specific box. It goes without saying that her reasons for not liking the astromech-based design (and you can probably guess which grabber-happy astromech I'm imagining in the role...) are totally off the wall. I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise, though, given how red shirts seem to depend on their shirt for all their advancement in life anyway.

    Of course, the droid project is one thing, but the business of Alderaan is another entirely. That little quiz question goes even further to show just how in the dark Miss Perfect Red Shirt really is. Yes, face it, honey-bun: a HUMBLE orange shirt knows and sees more than you apparently do. (And indeed I can only imagine that when Tendra DOES eventually learn the truth, it will hit her and hurt her a LOT harder than it did Doria when she learned—which is saying a lot.)

    Finally, I just want to say that I’m fine with any posting schedule you choose to use for this. Do what works best for you, and whatever that is, I’ll be here to follow. :)
     
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  2. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    abc need to post the reply while it's still 18th here.

    Comment reply template.


    Replies to comments added on November 27th, 2017. :)




    The diary is well-protected, but yes...still...[face_monkey]

    Apparently. And I saw such things happen. BLAME IT ALL ON GIRLS FOR BEING GIRLS!

    Amphyplax would be the singular. Not that I am done with the fanon post, but thought I'd say it.

    The bolded part is a good thing to think about. Some people see those two words as interchangeable, some would associate the term "lover" to sex only. Interesting, thanks for pointing it out. :)

    As for the rest...well, see what I'll tell Findswoman below.

    Hehe, "Seegy". :D Totally borrowing that!

    Yes, you nailed the nature of the project and its aspects. Glad that it makes sense for that to be a task required for one to graduate on such a planet.

    And yes...colours > everything else. For kriff's sake, those Sacorrians are absolutely kriffin' nuts.

    Nothing to add. :D

    I wanted "Seegy" to say something completely inappropriate (as if the other things he said were not inappropriate enough) and then Shakira's song "Whenever, Wherever" came on shuffle. The rest is history. :p And yeah, my brain works in weird ways...BUT YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY.

    [face_whistling][face_whistling][face_whistling]

    Yes to both. :)

    But-but, who cares if it's FUNCTIONAL, when it's PROGRESSIVE and, I dunno...CONVEYS THE TRUE SPIRIT OF ALL HARD-WORKING COMRADES AND COMRADETTES?! :p

    Totes!

    OMG. Chopper! Now, that would be super-fun to write. :D :choph:

    Tendra has an even longer way to go than Doria. I'm making it somewhat similar to the road she's implied to have undertaken in Legends...but still somewhat different. You'll see, you'll see. ;)

    Thank you so much for all your support and for putting up with the scheduling issue. <3[/quote]
     
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  3. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    Tendra ran after me the other day and she said that she asked her father about Alderaan. He told her the truth because he learned it from Comradette Nola, who also told him about how Comrade Roko was present in the battle before it, where a planet named Scariff was literally locked up and everybody on it was killed by the rays sent from the Death Star. THIS IS SCARY, NOBODY DESERVES TO DIE, NO MATTER THE REASON. What is interesting is that the Death Star is apparently gone and they cannot build a new one. I get it. And I hope it’s true. I wouldn’t want to see THAT in the sky above us. At the same time, its symbolism, just like everything related to death is somewhat attractive.

    So, now she believes me. And she wants to be my friend, like a proper, close one. How do people do that? If I have such a close friend, am I supposed to treat her like I treat Gredda? Because…I really don’t know how to do it.

    As far as Gredda goes, she told me more about Deeply Religious being banned. Apparently, the bombing was set up and they have not done more than creating music with lyrics offensive to the Emperor, the late Grand Moff Tarkin and his doctrine. She explained how that would be considered unprogressive on here, which I understand, but at the same time, the R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C would not have batted an eye. They used to allow everything. I asked if that was the reason they failed, and she shrugged. Then she shook her head and said that every time I make a step forward, I make two steps back. What does that mean? I was just following unbiased logic!

    I asked her about Sacorrian Central Committee members and who they were. I said that she was quite progressive and that she could become one someday. Then she went on and on about how true equality does not exist and how half of the higher positions in the Committee are filled in by people from rich families – those that star systems and celestial bodies were named after. She used Yvar Trindello, the Fleet Admiral whom I met at the beginning of the school year as an example – there is a star system named after his family in some unimportant sector that nobody has ever heard of. Same goes for the Ovisse family, a system with an industrial world, in the same sector was named after them. They’re industrials, so it was quite fitting. I asked if the Trindello system is known for its Fleet Admirals, turned out it’s a lumber world. I…don’t like lumber worlds. I don’t like seeing the trees being cut.

    Gredda then said that there is a sanctuary world in that sector, but that it’s inhabited by blood-thirsty beings that would kill anybody that comes close to them. Now, what kind of a sanctuary is that? I asked her if it was created to balance the existence of these other worlds and she denied that. She said that the world is surrounded by various abnormalities and that nobody wants to come close to it. Apparently, MANY starships were lost there, it’s like the desert island of the Galaxy.

    I…nearly cried. That was even more symbolic that the Death Star. This place, Endor, I thought it fascinating. And I want to learn more about the scary species that live on it and see if they are sentient. A holoogle search told me that they were and gave a couple of simple examples of their language. The most common species on Endor are called Ewoks and their language seems quite more possible to grasp than the random keypad strokes that transcriptions of the Yuzzum language look like. I think I am going to see if one can learn any of this for funsies, to impress others. Then again, where would I say I got it from when everything awesome is forbidden on Sacorria?

    Never mind. I am going to try something else. No matter what my droid is doing, it will be doing so in the rhythm of “Fields of Golden Grains”. That way, I will make it more progressive than Tendra’s creation. The next time I am at the school laboratory, I am going to get music-to-movement conversion tools. I hope that the fact that I could never sing to save my life won’t be a problem here. I mean, what could possibly go wrong in a scenario like this?

    My project is going to be the best ever! I am going to show everybody who is really progressive. Not Tendra Risant. Not, hehe, Zana Da-Yurk. Not Jan Katisver, though I don’t have anything against him. Not Dak Gauree. Not Glaunder Porkley, who can drop and die as far as I’m concerned. Not any of our Selonian and Drall class comrades and comradettes. It’s going to be me, Doria Vorr!

    // SUBMIT DATA





    Footnotes
    Holoogle is the invention of divapilot, first used in her story, Dear Mr. and Mrs. Solo




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    So…I have just learned something about Jan and I am not sure if it makes me confused or if the things are finally falling in place. You see, my mother always wondered why he wasn’t in love with me when we have been together pretty much since the earliest years, friends and all. There were times when I wondered that myself. Turns out – she was right, he does not like girls at all.

    And I feel a huge ballast on me because he decided to go ahead and tell me about it. He’s a “homaysexual”. He likes men. And one of the reasons he hangs out with Dak and Porky is his fear of being noticed. Being homaysexual on Sacorria is a really bad thing, just like it is being lebsien.

    Now, how it happened is quite a story.

    I kept on wondering who the being from my fantasy is. You know, the one of average height who was not average. So, at some point, I decided that it could be Jan. He’s not that handsome, but fantasies, they make everybody and everything look better. When he was visiting the most recent time, I asked him if he would ever consider starting a relationship with me. I mentioned that we’ve been like a brother and sister and all (he-he, Grannos would have loved that!) and that it could be practical.

    Then, he started crying. I asked him what was wrong. I went all hysterical, I think…about how I don’t care what Porky thinks about my hips, about how I know that my body is not perfect, that I wear a single pair of overalls and the red boots all the time, but that I should be given a chance just like every other progressive comradette. He first cried because I am “putting myself down so much” and then he went on and told me his story.

    When we were little, his parents too thought that I would make a wife for him someday. We played in the sand together, we would stand up for each other and all, and I kissed him a couple of times – by Sacor, I don’t remember kissing ANYBODY other than Porky. But then, he saw a boy. A beautiful boy by the name of Nikola and fell in love with him. The boy was a teenager and the harshest moment of Jan’s toddler life came when he saw Nikola with a girl, Elvira.

    He told Comradette Nola and she was, at first, shocked. She mentioned me. She mentioned Zana. She didn’t know how to understand this homaysexuality thing and what to do and then, at some point, she did something very un-Sacorrian and accepted it. Since then, she had created a bunch of rules for her son, so she could protect him. After a couple of years, he has learned to put those rules in action himself – play limmie, listen to typical boy music – I always knew that he was not really fond of that Steamy Wasaka Stew poodoo. However, there have been boys he liked here and there and he never knew how to approach them. They could have reported him. He could have been sent to the DoTal Prison or the camps on Noleria. And yes, that’s another thing I learned today – there is such a thing as a “conversion” camp on Noleria and it’s brutal.

    So, how do I react to this right now? I thought about what Gredda would have done and, more importantly, I thought about what Jax Novo would have done and I just…extended my hand towards Jan, told him that I understand him because I am not big on love myself, though I too like boys more than girls and I apologised for attempting to date him. He understood. And he added that, had he been into women, he would have definitely dated me or at least considered it.

    We then sat down and worked on our projects a bit. Jan is using two repurposed large mouse droids with a seeding tube between them, making his project significantly different than both mine and Tendra’s. I think that his idea is pretty good and progressive, but I have no idea if Those in Charge will agree about it. Mom then joined us, bringing more material to study from and a huge plate of nerf rinds with dust corn bread. Mmmm! I like it when studying sessions turn out like this.

    Sometimes, I don’t mind tech stuff. Perhaps I was not ready for SUPAS, after all. Still…I would like to be ready for SUPAS someday. Perhaps there is a way to be both technical and artistic?

    And then he told me another thing that surprised me – that night, after the Winter Dance, Porky was certain that he could make me have his baby. He thought that every single copulation produces a baby and he wanted a reason to get out of his parents’ home and not live in the barracks during his Naval Academy years. I am going to be incredibly sick now. And since Dak probably knows this much, too…I am going to be twice as sick.

    In the end, we sat down and watched the Brave Little Banthas. We agreed that our favourite is Lero, as it has always been. I am glad that we solved this.

    But yes, I am not forgetting this – Jan Katisver, my best friend, is homaysexual!

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Nikola and Elvira are the names of the characters from Pandora's story, Pale Iris. I wanted to make another tribute to it.

    Lero the Brave Bantha is also the favourite of Anjie Mencuri, in the story Chancellor & I.
     
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  4. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Doria ... Gredda's right, after all. The young lady makes one step forward, two steps back. :oops:

    That said, she's trying to do the best she can in a horribly kriffed-up system. She's young, and she's caught between so many opposing forces. :(

    And Jan ... I hope he gets through this OK. But somehow, I just fear ... well, it's the Triad. One step forward, two steps back, indeed ... [face_worried]
     
  5. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    So now Doria isn’t alone in her doubts about Saccoria, the Empire, and Everything. And her new partner in doubt is even a proper, progressive red-shirt. It’s good that Doria now has someone close to her to share these unprogressive ideas with, but how sad that she feels she doesn’t know how to have a close friend. Just keep going as you are, Doria, you’ll figure it out as you go along.

    Doria’s “unbiased logic” is...well, still biased by those lovely progressive notions, and yet, it makes a certain amount of sense when that’s all she’s ever known. Go easy on her, Gredda, progress—real progress, not fake Sacorrian Progress—is frequently one step forward, two steps back. Doria has to work through the issues in her own time, in her own fashion, but at least she’s thinking about things now and willing to contemplate implications that would have been unthinkable to her not long before. Then again...she’s still hung up on being TEH MOST PROGRESSIVEST EVAH on her seeding droid. :( i guess it just shows how deeply ingrained it is, that she cares so much even though she knows (or strongly suspects) “progressiveness” is a line of poodoo.

    Not surprised at Jan’s revelation. It’s good that his mother is accepting, even if she felt she had to institute rules to protect him. Good for Doria for supporting him, despite her initial unease. She did exactly the right thing. See, Doria...you do know how to be a close friend after all!
     
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  6. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thanks for reading, folks. :) Today's update is the last one to feature two diary entries. If all goes well in December, there's one entry per week and that's it. This shouldn't have got so spammy and unbearable in the first place - I learned last year that a weekly DDC is hard to keep up with AND hard to write, so many details to keep consistent - but yeah, 2017. That said, I'm also working on belated comment replies. I finished those in my misc. thread and this is the next one I'm about to tackle. :)

    Most likely not doing a DDC in 2018, for the sake of my sanity...and yours. :p I have one new idea and two from earlier, but seriously, they can be good short multi-chapters instead.




    Sadly, that is precisely how it goes. And given that the indoctrination is so *normal* on Sacorria, it's a miracle that Doria actually managed to make any steps forward!

    He gives a whole new meaning to "in the closet", doesn't he? :(


    I think the part of the problem here is that she doesn't fully trust Tendra just yet. And she's rationalising it.

    Hope the "unbiased logic" thing was, if nothing else, giggle-worthy. That's what I had in mind.

    And of course - progressiveness HAS to persist, because it's a catchphrase at this point. LET'S SMURF THAT PROGRESSIVE DROID!


    She doesn't give herself credit where she should, yet she's trying to force it elsewhere. A true progressive girl! :p

    And she might be shocked, at least a tiny wee bit, but Jan has been her friend since the earliest days, so...

    Note that she also can't pronounce/spell "homosexual" right. It's HOMAYSEXUAL to her.
     
  7. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    Spring is beautiful. Younglings play everywhere. Trees are green. The rivers look like illuminated blue belts of sparkling water passing through the lush, flower-covered valley.

    But not so much when one has to spend it studying. Then it’s more like annoying couples in love who kiss in public – eww! Thankfully, it’s almost over and I will get to the point when I’m supposed to present my finished project to Those That Matter. And it’d better be good. This is not my strong suit, yet I have been dealing with it for more than two months now. It’s sucking up all of my progressive creativity and more.

    I wish I had more time to write here – Zana has annoyed me, another Amphyplax passed away and we completely lost the control over what’s going on with the lake now. I was sad about it and mom’s being mom, but that’s not what I am focused on right now. I really, really need to finish this droid! On top of it, there was Dak again and he mentioned something about Porky having dated “a girl that doesn’t give” and is “cold as ice”. Now the whole school suspects that it’s me, because nobody has ever seen Porky with any other girl. Yuck. Yuck.

    If it hadn’t been for the little family I would have forgotten that it’s my birthday today. I’m 18. During the past year, I officially did nothing worth mentioning, other than kicking Porky and having had comradette Malokio notice me and actually talk to me a couple of times. Oh yes, and I tried to apply for SUPAS, but I DON’T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT. At this point, I completely blame it on Roula of Pelayn, because she’s a Pelayn and she probably has something against Gredda, and furthermore against me because I’m a friend of the R’vanyes.

    Mom came back from work at the museum and bought me a lovely book about languages of the Outer Rim, then she took me to Progressina’s Jam and Spoon. For once, she wasn’t angry about anything she is usually angry about – the waitress droid and how long it took her to serve us, the density of the fibre in our napkins, the amount of icing on the cake, the amount of sprinkles on the icing. She didn’t even mind that the sprinkles appeared to be of the ANGRY MACE variant, those that may or may not come with health warnings.

    We then met up with Aunt Iris. That has become a tradition for my birthday and even though she tends to talk some really, really dark stuff sometimes - according to mom that’s a Novaborn trait, of course – we had a good time. We walked around the city, and then we went to see a holoflick with Galah Yaywine in it and it was not that good, but it was fun. In “Tell Me Later, Tell Me Too Late” she travels to another galaxy, where she meets a being that is supposedly the embodiment of love and looks exactly like her. And that being talks in some strange language. I am not sure if this was a progressive film, but sometimes, I don’t care if things are progressive or not.

    Aunt Iris didn’t like the film. She felt that Galah’s costumes were too gratuitous and that she should have worn something more modest. Then mom reminded her of some of the things they both wore in their youth and…well, both of them had a point here – whatever they have worn was still clothing compared to what Galah had on, or off, onscreen. And the other being, which she also played, was dressed in something that resembled bacta patches.

    After the flick, we went for genuine Naboo huttza at MESA HUNGRY. I’m not sure why the restaurant name yells at me and what does “mesa” mean, but they have great food. Aunt Iris told me that I have a bad taste in hyper-food, because I asked for a huttza with ryoo leaves, nerf ham and mooncheese, topped with slices of shuura. She asked me how I could eat fruit and cheese on the same plate. And the amount of both chyntuck and red nebula onion on her huttza-pie was, in my progressive opinion, saying much more about bad taste than my affinity for fruits ever would.

    I asked a waitress droid why they call this huttza, she said that the name is not the same in some part of the Galaxy, some call it ziipa, but that it originated from an inside joke somebody made when a Hutt ate a pack of thirty. Now, that’s interesting.

    Aunt Iris showed us some initiatives started by her neighbour, who is also called Maris like mom. I think this person should be renamed to “hyper Maris”. Here’s one of her leaflet flimsis:

    “Swearing in holotoons, using imaginary languages is still swearing. CESA, censor holotoons!”

    I mean, what?! Since when is it offensive if a Brave Bantha says “hnyag” and not “kriff”? Are these people truly wasting their time with this? I asked my aunt if she signed it, she said that she didn’t, but that she promised hyper Maris to take the leaflets to everybody she knew. Mom shrugged and dipped hers in a glass of water to dissolve it.

    // SUBMIT DATA





    Footnotes
    Novaborns are younger than the "Noleria Conference Younglings" and, unlike them, they were not a social experiment. The term refers to comrades and comradettes born roughly between 55 BBY and 32 BBY. Both Maris and Iris are Novaborns, and Elesandre was one, too.

    Galah Yaywine is an in-universe Mila Jovović, more or less and “Tell Me Later, Tell Me Too Late” is a parody of "The Fifth Element". Now...where have we seen a passing mention of this character before?

    The term "ziipa" was popularised by @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 and can be found in her fanon entry on foods in the GFFA. Huttza, however, is close-to-canon after it appeared in the 2014 mobile game, tinydeathstar. I did some retconning to imply that, yes, indeed, it's the same food.

    Similarly, mooncheese is mozzarella and an equivalent to Cowgirl's zomarella. I see mooncheese as a slang term, popularised by younger people.

    Ryoo is canon, and I am not sure how it became basil in my fanon, but yeah, it's the same thing as Cowgirl's zabil.

    The word "hnyag" is fanon. It's random and it sounds funny, unless your nose is stuffy!




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    I hate being this busy sometimes. I really, really, really do. And just when I have some time to do something, anything, everybody is busy. One’d think I deserve a proper break, but nope. It’s just not happening. And now, while writing this, I’m kriffin’ alone, because nobody can hang out with me.

    Jan is, of course, working on his own project. So is Tendra. And, unlike me, they prefer to work non-stop, while I prefer to work while I’m wide awake and I don’t want to spend the whole Saccorata’s supply of caf just to prove something, no.

    blasetreegoatAU is nowhere to be found. I wonder if something happened to her. When will she yak me to talk? What is going on on her home planet? I have not seen anything on HoloPedia, other than that Aurea might be full of defected Imperials.

    Duchess Branna and Ebe are spending some time in some resort. Basic schools have ten days off because of the Worker Holiday, and pretty much everybody other than us, lyceum graduates does. Imagine how empty the neighbourhood is without the little ones playing. Of course, that should be perfect for studying, but despite what mom thinks, I can’t just sit and study all day long.

    That said, mom really, really thinks that I should be spending every single moment studying – she claims that it’s the only way to get good grades. Whenever I sit down to do something else, she says that I’m wasting my time. Dad used to do this a lot, too and I think that she picked it from him. Each single thing I try to talk about, she says that it’s stupid and then she asks me how my studying and my droid project are going.

    The best part? She still doesn’t want me to take some of those spare parts and build her a household droid. She will continue to perform her jobs the way people used to do it thirty millenia ago and complain about how hard it is. Well, if you think it’s hard, know what would help you: A HOUSEHOLD DROID.

    I would have complained to Gredda about this, buuut…

    …Gredda is working overtime, because she was told that she could get to work on a big and important project.

    It seems that I have to go back to work and that there is no way I can win here. Or maybe there is. I can always sit and dream. For some reason, I remembered that prince-pateesa from some weeks ago. With Porky being history and Jax not winning any races – he just embarrassed himself at the Wild Ride of Coruscant – that’s the only thing that is left to do, dream. And the prince-pateesa is great. I don’t have to court him, he doesn’t have to court me, we already have each other, in a way. He does not eat the vile things that Porky used to eat and he’s tall enough to pick me up, not a small korrak like Jax. Not to mention that he’s DEAD HANDSOME. I am not sure if I’m projecting on somebody I have seen already or if he’s real at all, but I would totally…well, many things. I don’t even feel comfortable writing them here, despite the fact that nobody else is going to read it.

    Mom would probably call this maladaptive daydreaming. She heard it from Aunt Iris, who read about it in a Seegmon D’Fraud book. Not to mention that Iris owns pretty much every single book that being has ever written. And it’s all about women being stupid, everybody craving sex all the time and so on. Can’t we be a bit more complicated? With millions of years of sentient life in the Galaxy, we simply are bound to be more complicated. Where is the love? You know, the real love, not the kind mom had with dad, not the thing I had with Porky.

    It’s not like I am going to get up and search for this handsome prince, though. For one, I am annoyed that I perceive him as a prince. That would make me a lonely princess and I never liked princesses. They’re too tender and soft and pathetic… I don’t know. I would not like to rule a planet, under any known and unknown circumstances. I would not like to wear ball gowns, regardless of what big name created them. And most of all, I would not want everybody to know who I am.

    Perhaps I should try and write again, and not tell mom about it. A story about a random girl meeting a prince and convincing him that he doesn’t have to be a prince. They could, I don’t know, run away together.

    Seegmon D’Fraud – analyse this!

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Worker Holiday would be the equivalent of May 01st in most countries and Labour Day in the USA.

    "Seegmon D’Fraud – analyse this!" is a literal transfer of Madonna's "Sigmond Freud - analyse this!" from "Die Another Day".
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2018
  8. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Well - I can sympathize with Doria about being busy. :p At least I don't have to look over my shoulder in a dystopian society.

    And Maris ... like mother, like daughter, one step forward and two steps back. (Maris - take the droid! [face_laugh])

    (Seriously, people or characters who complain solely to complain need a swift boot. That said, I've been guilty of too much whining and not enough corrective action, so I should be careful what I preach ... [face_blush]
     
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  9. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    A quick note to let everybody know that I changed my plans: given that I've been writing a lot of belated challenge responses recently and that I started a new, weekly epic with pretty much the same readers onboard - I have decided to update this one on 16th and 31st of December, with two entries each, giving all my rear deaders ( ;)) plenty of time to "ketchup".

    I will address the above comment once I'm addressing the ones that didn't come in yet. @};-
     
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  10. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Happy birthday to Doria! Glad that her family was able to make it a happy occasion for her, after all the difficulties she’s had during the year. The book that her mother gave her sounds fascinating. And hooray for desserts covered with ANGRY MACE brand sprinkles! :D I hope they were not ill afterwards (then again, the worst side effects seem to happen to clones and “non-perfect” species... :p) Pizza...excuse me, huttza, excuse me, ziippa...and a movie is always a fun way to spend a birthday, too, even if the movie’s a bit strange and the actress wears scanty clothes. And I would totally eat Doria’s huttza...yum!

    Doria shouldn’t be so hard on herself about doing “nothing worth mentioning”. She got rid of an abusive boyfriend (and newsflash, Dak, no girl is required to “give” and not “giving” doesn’t mean she’s cold.) She made a commercial with Jax! She’s tried new things, like hyper yak, she’s made a new friend in blasetreegoat. She’s improved her friendships with Jan and Tendra. And most importantly, her whole world view has changed during the last year; she’s starting to question the party line and see things the way they truly are and that’s huge!

    Have to say, I love “hnyag”! [face_laugh] It sounds like a horse swear word!

    And poor, busy, overworked and overwhelmed Doria. Too much to do, and no one around for her to talk to and decompress with. No wonder she’s turning to her imaginary (or maybe not-so-imaginary) prince-pateesa. Seegmon D’Fraud can go jump in a lake... there’s nothing wrong with a few daydreams, even if they are about things Doria’s too embarrassed to put into words. It doesn’t mean she obsessed, it just means she’s human, with the feelings and needs (not just for intimacy but also for simple affection) everyone has.

    Oh and princesses? Not always soft and pathetic. Sometimes they wear Rebel fatigues. Sometimes they jump into garbage chutes and save their would-be-rescuers. :)

    Looking forward to your next update!
     
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  11. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Here's hoping that the boards are still up when I try to post this -- couldn't get onto the site for most of yesterday!

    Anyway, it's been great to catch up with this story again. Also to see you're posting so many other things too. [face_dancing] There's quite a difference between Doria now and the Doria we met at the beginning of the year. She's done so much growing up, though like everyone (well, everyone not dead yet) she still has a long road ahead.

    Her approach to the final droid project is really interesting; it seems like she'd have an affinity for this kind of work if the judging were actually based on merit. She's got both creativity and practicality on her side, and that seems like a good start. Though I'm rather afraid she's getting her hopes up too high given how Sacorria grades its students. It's like she's holding on to the last of the fantasy that she'll be able to make the Most Progressive Thing Ever and show them all. I really like her reasoning behind the design of her droid, wanting to help small farms survive. But I also kind of suspect that it might be too downright threatening to the establishment to get a good score. :(

    It's understandable that in the midst of all this change, Doria is a bit taken off guard by the changes in her relationships with two of her friends. (And I get the impression that Tendra has probably technically been a friend for a while now -- just not a close one or one that Doria acknowledges.) These new developments mean that she can quite possibly become a better friend to two people who will understand her more, and she them. But of course, it can be disconcerting to re-evaluate the people who were constants in your life. Jan is no different than he ever was, she just happens to now know that he's gay. Thankfully, she realizes this even if it throws her for a loop at first. And she and Tendra have their doubts about Sacorria and the Empire in common, which must be an important thing for both of them even if it's also a bit nerve-wracking. (I can't entirely blame Doria for not quite trusting Tendra as you mentioned in your replies. Tendra is a lovely and well-meaning person, and like Doria she has absolutely no idea what she's doing when it comes to questioning authority.) I can only hope that they and Jan manage to stay out of most kinds of trouble, at least for the time being. They're all three really decent people in their own ways, which is a bit dangerous to be in a place like Sacorria.

    Sad to hear about the deaths of the Amphyplaxis -- especially since Steurpa suspects there may be more to them than is assumed. The school's guidance counselor is worse than useless. (Seriously, commenting about a student's "assets"? Just no. [face_plain]) It's a good thing that Doria is not really listening to his nonsense, though it's just one more thing in a long line of annoyances she has to put up with in that messed up school system.

    Talking about "breadcrumbs in the star field", Doria has stumbled on the existence of a certain forest moon by near accident. (Though nothing is ever really an accident in Star Wars. ;) ) And she's already intrigued by this off-the-map wonder.

    [face_laugh] How much things change in a year!
     
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  12. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you for your comments. :) What I am going to do now is post the rest of the DDC as two separate entries and mark it complete. You don't have to hurry, I'm more obsessed with comments on my epic, and since it's more or less the same people reading the both...well, you can make this your second priority. I'M A DIVA, YEAH. YOU CAN'T SPELL THE WORD DIVA WITHOUT MY NAME.

    Aaaand...I lost the almost-complete reply when the computer went to sleep a couple of days ago, so I'm using the downtime while the boards are being upgraded to ketchup...again.





    ...attempting to copy and paste what I wrote without getting the dreaded error 500.

    So, this is where I curse myself for having lost the original reply when the computer went to sleep and got stuck, because I have written a kriffin' dissertation based on that second sentence. Let's see how much of it I really remember...

    I was mixing up bits of what we know about extreme left and totalitarians, and what my parents, grandparents and their friends witnessed living in Tito's Yugoslavia. He died a little less than three years before I was born, so while there were leftovers of the system present, most of it was slowly falling apart, even at the times when we were this close of joining the European union at the time nobody else from the "east" did and when salaries under Ante Marković were amazing. But yeah, during the post-war years, my grandmother literally had to look over her shoulder - one relative's letters as well as her marriage with the pre-war army officer landed her at OZNA hearings a couple of times. I do know a thing or two about dystopian societies, in case anybody questions it. ;)

    And yeah, at some point I would really, really like to toy with the idea of [hl='black']a coup[/hl], because it would not end up the way people who have never been through one themselves and support them all think. In reality, it's one step forward, two steps back and then...wait, wait, wait...

    "Do you have the time to listen to me whine?"
    - Basket Case (Green Day song)

    The book has got to be awesome! :) And no worries - ANGRY MACE sprinkles are not dangerous to the superior species. :eek:

    Who doesn't like pizza? Seriously. My grandmother sort of didn't and I remain baffled to this day.

    We are aware of this, but is she? Given how much the cult of personality, myths and unrealistic achievements matter on Sacorria, she might not even know how to take one thing at time. :(

    [​IMG]


    Seegmon D'Fraud is the lesser of the possible evils - imagine what somebody like my pdoc would've diagnosed Doria with? Or somebody like Anjie Mencuri? [face_thinking]

    Another thing that she's not aware of...yet. ;)

    The fact that I'm typing this while the database upgrade is in process and going slowly because there are 23 000 000 posts in the database is weirder. THE GREAT OUTAGES OF DECEMBER 2017 [face_rofl]

    ...including *that* thing...coughcoughcough. ;)

    Everyone not dead yet? You sure you're not commenting on some other fic? ;)

    OK, that was corny, but I promise that it's just a stupid joke and that yes, I'm well-aware of the carnage I wrote into one of my own stories and the brutality of, say, the prologue of one of my current epics.

    And yup - Doria might not be aware of her own progress (how ironic for somebody who uses that word all the time...)

    There are ways of presenting that as successful and progressive, still. The small farms do face enormous restrictions on Sacorria, but the system still HAS to make the people believe that it's not so...r-right? ;)

    You hit the nail on the head with what you said between the brackets - as usual. The way Doria expects people should be is, well, not what they necessarily have to be! Every being has a different way of expressing their emotions and it doesn't have to be what we want it to be. Some folks are good with this, some aren't. People like Doria (and, err, yours truly, too) are notorious at misunderstanding others' affection, because they tend to think the worst of everybody.

    Tendra was questioning many things in her first appearance in Corellian Trilogy, so I thought that there had to be a...logical progression.

    And yeah, she totally needs to be in the new canon!

    :(

    Lovely beings, they are. :p

    [face_whistling] [face_whistling] [face_whistling]

    Glad that it made you laugh. :D And, as I said above, shame that Doria herself doesn't see her own progress. :(
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2017
  13. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    Finally, I’m getting some time to write. This time, it’s all about my project again. I have come near the very end of this and I am proud of myself. The droid is sowing the seeds of dustcorn to the melody of “Fields of Golden Grains” and it’s going to be better than Tendra’s protocol one that just CANNOT BE AS EFFICIENT. I AM GOING TO BEAT HER AND EVERYBODY ELSE SO KRIFFIN’ MUCH. OKAY?

    I had some problems with the droid’s eye. The sensor didn’t want to cooperate to the extent I needed it to cooperate, but luckily, I had help. Great Uncle Geo, known for the comments such as “why don’t you go for a ride with a datapad on your lightspeeder” offered his help. As a former agriculture technician himself, he knows a lot about these things and he fixed it in no time. Sometimes, he can tell stupid jokes, but out of all Antilless folks, he’s got to be the only one capable of doing something without whining.

    And by now, it should be kind of obvious that I did not inherit that gene myself. Not sure if it came from Inesedams. Not sure if it came from Vorrs. Not sure if it came from Novaborns. The very opposite of not whining, that is. Mom sometimes says that all Novaborns are trouble and when she’s angry with Aunt Iris, she says that there’s a lot of Novaborn blood in her, but I am not sure if I’m buying this.

    Jan and I have gone to the test field and we have tested our droids, no idea where Tendra was testing hers, as she didn’t want to tell anybody. His droid has one little issue, and so did mine – they were picking lots of soil with random weeds before starting the seeding process. Other than that, sowing the seeds works progressively and I am very happy about it. Great Uncle Geo joined us and he loved it. He even managed to climb on the pipe of Jan’s droid and asked Jan to speed it up as much as possible. Of course, at some point, he fell down, but he loved that, too. He said that it made him feel more alive.

    Then he took us out for some cookies at Progressina’s Jam & Spoon. Actually, Jan had cookies, I had ice on a stick. Funny, whenever I ask where that one comes from, nobody tells me. Apparently, wherever it comes from, they have no conservators and therefore, it’s a winter-only dessert.

    I complained to Geo that I have no time to write and work on the final touches and the shell for my droid at the same time and he replied the way he usually would – that I should climb the droid with my datapad and test it while writing. Like, thanks for helping me.

    I told blasetreegoatAU about what I was doing and it turned out that she doesn’t know much about tech. She’s studying art. Aaaah, lucky mooka-cheeka! And wow, it took her long to tell me so, especially since I told her that I had not been accepted to SUPAS months ago. She also says that we would have to see each other at some point and I am not sure how that would go. Aurea is two inhabited star systems away and it’s not like anybody would pay my trip to there as they would do it when I travel to Vagran and Larax pays for it. Like, does she think I can afford that much? Or is she going to smuggle me in the cargo hold or some other rebellious thing?

    I finally sent my application for the Dorthus Tal University. For once, mom is right, it’s better to do it sooner than later. This way, I am going to be among the first young comrades and comradettes who will be accepted to their desired study programme. Or, well, in my case not so desired.

    Yes, I still dream of eventually transferring to SUPAS and living in their notoriously famous students’ dormitory, as long as there are not scary people drinking, taking spice and having sex near me…or, worse, in my presence. Or, the worst possible, with me. Like, no way, progaway!

    That is one thing I don’t get about us young people. Why are they so deviant? Why are there no young comrades – other than Jan, but he now doesn’t count – that don’t drink? What’s so good about corley, anyway? Why can’t we all get along and eat cookies?

    That said, I just had a great idea – a cookie-baking modified astromech droid. It could have a little oven on the inside and one could have cookies at any given time, anywhere. It would come with a small silo for keeping the dust corn flour and the other ingredients necessary for the dough. Of course, ibbot eggs would have to be conserved somehow and sugar would not be allowed anywhere close to bantha butter. Mmm…bantha butter. I seriously think that this should be a thing. Perhaps I am not that lost when it comes to tech, after all. I SO WANT TO MAKE THIS AT SOME POINT.

    Maybe I could start with the project when I am not so angry about races. Jax just came 6th at the Great Prize of Alkasan. He could have been better, he was even leading the race and some point, and then he just…failed. I wish it could have been there, though. Going to any kind of a podrace still remains a dream of mine. Mom would say that I saw Jax record the SAYGO commercial, but that just doesn’t feel the same. A race is nothing until you feel wind in your hair.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Mooka-cheeka would be an equivalent of a not-so-nice expression in our world. The son of a bitch, pardon me. Fanon.
    Progaway would be a nicer way to say “kriff off”. Fanon.
    Great Prize of Alkasan is yet another podrace. Fanon (of course).





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    So…there is good news and there’s bad news. Kind of. Sort of.

    The good news is that I got a 5 on my final project. I presented my droid to the school committee and they gave me a 5. I was praised for my great idea and told that, surprising for a young Comradette so bad in music, I have done great. I was asked to demonstrate the way everything works and I didn’t get one single thing wrong. I explained how I used music-to-motion tools and Danyle, who was present in the jury as the representative of SAIS, praised me for it and, when nobody was looking, he subtly winked at me.

    I should be happy, right?

    But I am not happy. For my droid was NOT proclaimed the best of thirty. Guess who won? Tendra Risant! With her ineffective protocol droid project that has no place in the age of the Rebellion… Empire… whatever.

    I nearly cried when it happened. This just cannot be. I have worked so hard to make what I have made and now it turns out that a red shirt is better than me AGAIN. And really, really, I’m kind of proud of myself for not having cried, because crying is not progressive, but at the same time, it would have provided the kind of a relief that keeping it inside won’t.

    Despite all this, I was the first person to congratulate Tendra, even before Jan and Dak. Of course, Dak didn’t like that, not at all. He said something behind my back, I didn’t hear what it was, but it probably wasn’t nice. When Porky came to congratulate Tendra, I simply backed off. I didn’t stand there with her on the podium when the droid took the holo, because I didn’t want to be anywhere near Porky.

    I tried to comm mom, she didn’t pick it up. She must have been busy with household chores and didn’t hear me. And I wanted to rant so much!

    I had to get my mind off this, so I went and spoke to Pan. She talked about her grandmother, Trudee, who is no longer among the living, but who had an even better student than her mom did back in Sublata. Also a Drall, but one that didn’t study biology. Pan keeps on joking that I won’t study biology, either and that none of the Steurpas’ brilliant students end up being biologists. Apparently, this on ended up being a famous artist. I wonder if…no, impossible. According to his biography, Dyeke came to Sublata right before his first university year and before that, he lived in Curheg. I asked Pan if she or her mother know the student’s name, she said that they don’t, but that he must be in his sixties now. That would’ve been a fit, except that Dyeke died in his fourties. Pah, guess I’m dreaming, again. Dreaming is not progressive.

    And I realised something – young teachers could be the best, if they’re like Pan. In most of the cases, youngest and oldest teachers are the worst – the first kind is too hopeful and thinks that everybody will like the lessons the way they did at the University, and the second kind wants just another take at discipline before they’re retired and unable to triad everybody around. Pan is a rare example of a non-mid-career teacher who isn’t either of those…but why didn’t she tell me about her grandmother earlier? Is my obsession with Midday Darkness getting to annoying? I…I must find out if this Trudee Sr. was really Dyeke’s teacher, still.

    After this, the group had found me again and insisted that I join them, so we went out – the group was smaller than at the beginning of the school year, it was just Jan, Tendra, Zana, me and, unexpectedly, Rende. We went to Progressina’s Jam and Spoon for some ANGRY MACE ™ artificial angleberry ice-cream. I am not sure if these angleberries really are a thing or if they are a thing of past, but the lab-made extract is really good, like real fruit.

    I was trying not to show Tendra that I was angry. But I didn’t compliment her on her work when Jan and Zana did. I went to use the ‘fresher when Comrade Jhorn called from DoTal and asked about it. Apparently, according to Jan, Tendra told her dad that she adored my project. Like I believe her. I don’t.

    When I finally got home, mom was angry. She was angry that I didn’t come to see her first and celebrate what happened. I told her that I was not satisfied and she thought that it was an excuse. She said that I should have gone to Progressina’s with her. Had I asked her to, she would’ve said that she hated her sweets. She would’ve said that it takes ages for her to get ready and that the night would fall and she does not like to go out at night. Then…why is it a problem that I went out with my friends?

    The best part? She said that I should have used the credits for something else, but at least she is very happy that – Sacor forbid – Tendra didn’t pay for my portion of ice-cream. I just can’t win, either way round.

    At the end of such a horrible day, I commed Gredda. She was at work, so she couldn’t pick it up, but she sent me an e-mail where she said that she wasn’t the best in her class, either. I kind of wonder if this was a lie. Could Gredda NOT be best in something? I wanted to ask Comradette Kutuya if this was true, but I couldn’t comm her that late at night. I just can’t believe that Gredda can get something wrong or, Sacor forbid, fail. Impossible.

    // SUBMIT DATA
     
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  14. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    Out memorybooks have arrived. Twelve awkward pictures and twelve awkward biographies, same for the other class.

    People voted on stuff. I thought that it was not very Sacorrian to single anybody out, but then mom revealed to me that they used to do so back before the Empire even existed. She was voted – I cannot possibly believe this – Miss Golden Grains. And a holo of her was in all the newsflimsi – it even made it to the front page of Progre55! Was she kriffin’ happy about it? Nah, she was kriffin’ mad, because she wanted to be the Most Agile and Best Homeworld Anthem Singer.

    I won more things than I ever have and ever will. I am “most likely to die alone”, “most likely to marry a blind man”, “most likely to call a progressive thing unprogressive” and “most likely to watch Brave Little Banthas all life long”.

    The last thing is true. But the rest????? SERIOUSLY?

    Marrying.a.blind.man?!

    I don’t think I’m ever going to marry anybody, or have another boyfriend in the first place. Maybe if Jax Novo is free, but otherwise, nah. Come to think of it, I didn’t really feel THAT way for him, not even when he hugged me, so, nope. I am not going to marry anybody.

    Speaking of that, I wonder if Dak is obsessed with Tendra to the point where it’s dangerous. He’s in her face all the time and it’s only Jan who prevents him from doing something stupid. After all, he’s got to know that his mom is doing what she’s doing, I mean…by now, everybody knows that she has something going on with Porky’s father.

    Either way, this is how the whole thing went.

    Agro (S, M, yellow) – What would you expect from somebody whose parents named him that? He looks like a complete wermo in his picture and he was not voted anything.

    Agroproprius (D, M, yellow) – As I always say, if he wasn’t a Drall, I would’ve mixed him up with the Selonian. He was voted most likely to be a Drall without a library, and most likely to skip ta’sharra.

    Antilless, Jax (H, M, yellow) – He looked kinda okay in the picture. He was, predictably, voted most likely to win somebody else’s credits, most likely to go to prison instead of somebody else and most likely to be proclaimed dead instead of somebody else. That’s what you get with a common name – HA!

    Cavernus (S, F, red) – She was not present for the picture session and she will hopefully make it to graduation. She was voted – this was Dak’s idea and I honestly hate him sometimes, most likely to serve as a table for either fine dining or sabacc.

    Da-Yurk, Zana (H, F, yellow) – I remember when I wrote that my childhood friend has no brain. But I wanted her to be something, so that is how she became most likely to be nice to others.

    Gauree, Dak (H, M, yellow) – I am not sure who submitted this, but the handwriting looked a lot like Rende’s. He wrote that Dak is most likely to be arrested or killed in a major riot. Now, that’s nonsense, plus I prefer arrested to killed. He deserves some good torture.

    Katisver, Jan (H, M, red) – Once again, I think this was Dak idea – Jan was voted most likely to court a tree, most likely to become a cook and most likely to put up with those who talk too much. Pretty sure that the last thing was about me.

    Porkley, Glaunder (H, M, red) – Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I can’t believe that my ex-boyfriend-thing got voted for so many things, as if he had been in the Sacorrian Triad. Most likely to become an admiral and have his own Star Destroyer. Most likely to marry a beauty queen. Most likely to eat a lunch for four people. Most likely to win a most likely award. ARE THEY JOKING? Apart from the lunch thing, that is.

    Quacha (D, F, yellow) – As usual, she was completely invisible and didn’t get any votes.

    Rende (D, M, red) – They teased him a lot again. He was voted most likely to be blind and have cybernetic eyes by the time he’s thirty, most likely never to get married and most likely to become a random scientist nobody has ever heard of.

    Risant, Tendra (H, F, red) – She was voted Miss Golden Grains, most likely to get a job in the Square building and most likely to be truly progressive. I am surprised that there wasn’t anything creepy coming from Dak.

    Tasya (D, F, red) – Uh, I have to take a deep breath here. Most likely to get into the Sacorrian Triad, most likely to work in the CorSec, most likely to work in the ISB, most likely to write a bestselling book, most likely to win an award for a holoflick. Could it be that she is so much better at everything than everybody else?

    Tolaarus (S, F, yellow) – She was not voted anything, just like her friend wasn’t. I’m a bit sad for all three who didn’t get any kind of titles, because I would’ve recommended them for something, if I had known it was so.

    Vorr, Doria (H, F, orange) – See above. I AM SO FURIOUS.

    This so reminds me of Dear Qleebold. Qleebold got some odd titles and then she had to fight against them. But that was fifty years ago. And she was a basic school youngling, not a young comradette in the lyceum. And it was fiction. How does one battle these strange things when life ultimately turns out to be stranger than fiction? Stranger in stupid aspects, that is…boring and same, same, same all over again in all others.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Memorybook would be something like a yearbook. Fanon.
    Progre55 is a newsflimsi for progressive young comrades and comradettes. Fanon.




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    So, I graduated. I am now able to work as an agriculture technician and, if it hadn’t been for my secret plan to eventually switch to SUPAS someday, I would’ve found myself the nearest piece of arable land and started working on it. I’m so fed up with everything.

    I don’t care about graduation all that much. I mean, I will study something boring, become somebody boring, eventually find a new boyfriend and marry him, then have children. Who cares?

    We got our final grades.

    As I knew before, I scored second best in the class on that build a droid thing, but other than that, here are my grades. I didn’t expect to have a 4 in SOPU, or as we say when we’re kidding, SOUP, but Comrade Haak Grindmatter can be horrible sometimes and he told me that I got a couple of things from the Book of Law referenced wrong on my last test. He added that he did expect that from an orange shirt and that he has to teach me to do things the way I should be doing them.

    Another thing that surprised me is the best grade possible in Comradette Malokio’s class. I didn’t expect this, honestly – I thought that I wouldn’t have been graded because she has totally forgotten about me! Seriously, I don’t remember the last time I had said something in a class – must have been in the first semestre. Not to mention that I have a feeling that she didn’t even read my last two creative assignments at all.

    Things that didn’t surprise me were the penalty after that grav-ball thing when I couldn’t score a goal for our team against the other class and the fact that everything else went fine. Even Olys Corellisi, where Comradette Mirayne Maskrel swore that nobody in the class will have 5 after that prank Agro and Agroproprius pulled three weeks ago. Looks like she changed her mind.

    Anyway…here it is.

    Grade sheet for young comradette Doria E. Vorr.

    Galactic Basic with Imperial Literature 12/12 – 5
    Advanced droid programming 2/2 – 5
    Agriculture 4/4 – 5
    Studies of Progress and Unity 12/12 - 4
    Xenobiology 8/8 – 5
    Olys Corellisi 2/2 - 5
    History of the Galaxy with Imperial Art 8/8 – 5
    Geography of the Corellian Sector 3/3 - 5
    Physical education and communal health 12/12 – 4
    Progressive music education 10/10 – 3

    BlasetreegoatAU says that she hasn’t seen anybody almost fail music. Well, I have never really kept my lack of musical skills a secret. I can’t sing to save my life, I can’t play any of the instruments they bring us and I will never be anything more than an appreciator of others’ music. That said, I have never been to a concert of any kind, would like to go to one someday.

    The graduation ceremony is tomorrow.

    Mom does not want to be there. She is still angry because of that thing where I didn’t tell her first and even angrier that I have “failed” at something that was both her and dad’s strong suit, music. She asked me how come that I cannot carry a tune, that I cannot hit a note and cites how GR-13, our music teacher, has called me “utterly hopeless” and said that a 3 was a “sign of his good will”. I think he was not programmed to give a grade lower than 3, and that I would have gotten a 2 or failed for real otherwise.

    Aunt Larax can’t make it from Vagran, she said that “these are some dangerous times”. Can’t she ever come to anything in the first place? She would not come to her own funeral either, I think. I don’t even remember when I saw her last time. And it’s not like we’ll be going to Vagran ourselves anytime soon.

    If dad had been alive, he would’ve forgotten to be there. He would’ve gone somewhere with his friends, he would’ve spent time watching sports on the viewscreen or he would’ve slept and then, when I would’ve got back home, absent-mindedly ask me what my age was once again and what grade was next.

    Also, the best part? Tendra and Jan are going with Dak and Porky! I refused to be anywhere near them for that reason and, by now, Dak knows that I hate him. Apparently, he’s also spreading rumours about how I believe in Celestials and Drall legends, just because I hang out with Duchess Branna. IS HE JEALOUS OR WHAT?

    Gredda said that she would come, because there is no way that she wouldn’t be there for me. She says that she would take a day off if necessary.

    We are supposed to introduce ourselves at the ceremony. And wear these stupid robes with suits in our corresponding colours underneath. I think this will be the first time I am wearing anything other than overalls after the winter dance.

    I’m done with my introduction. It’s simple. I didn’t want to waste any time on it, so I wrote the first thing that I had on my mind. And I refuse to change one single word of it.

    "My name? Doria Vorr. Profession I studied for? Agricultural technician. Biggest wish? To vacation on Vagran again someday...

    ...Where do I see myself in ten years? I don’t know. Ambitions? I never had them
    ."

    Gredda told me to change it, Jan was surprised and Ebe said that it was stupid. Mom, of course, just shook her head.

    But I am being sincere. Absolutely sincere. With four years at DoTal University ahead and living in the same city as many sources of my annoyance, I don’t think I can be ambitious. I mean, what is there for me? Study something I don’t like, be proposed to by somebody I don’t like, attend some stupid event every Sarcoday and go and take stupid walks by the Watchtower Base. I don’t see anything interesting about this.

    Then again, it’s not like anything particularly amusing is going to happen to me, anyway. Now or ever. After all, Minmin bey uhl doaba ke’demii. I am the peace of the mad.

    // SUBMIT DATA

    THE END
     
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  15. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Good grief, you can tell exactly when my classes started. That’s where I stopped responding to mostly everyone. Please don’t be hurt; I have just been insanely busy and I still love Doria in the most progressive way possible.


    November 10.

    Part 1.

    Oh my goat, that psychologist has no idea what is going on. Not only does he think Doria’s sadness over the dead creature is somehow related to repressed sexual desire, he COMPLETELY MISSES THE PART where she tells him that Pork-butt tried to assault her. Then somehow her bra size is connected to her humbleness? WHATTTT??????

    I’m glad she got to talk with Pan. She said some smart, sensible things about how love and sex are related to each other. It’s kind of amazing that those Saccorians ever reproduce at all.

    Doria, hang on girl. Someone special is out in the starfield, looking for you.


    Part 2.

    Preach it, girlfriend.

    YES! Doria is finally thinking for herself. Making her own decisions, coming to her own conclusions, even if they go against what she has been taught (indoctrinated) to believe. This is a HUGE step for her.

    November 18.

    Part 1.

    Love how Doria is starting to question everything, and get answers. Even Tendra is influenced by this.

    Hmmmmmm. Interesting. So this sparks Doria’s interest in Endor.

    Famous last words…

    Part 2.

    Oh man, that stuff about Jan nearly broke my heart. Imagine having to learn to be hyper masculine in order to hide your true self. At least he has Doria to confide in.

    November 25:

    Part 1.

    Happy birthday, Doria! First of all, Porky’s a pig. But we already knew that.

    Keep going, you’re on the right track. Think for yourself, Doria.

    Oh lordy, you slay me. The irony upon irony here is priceless.

    Part 2.

    Or convince him he doesn’t have to be a rock star…


    December 24

    Part 1

    I like Great Uncle Geo. The man has fun. How unprogressive.

    It sounds like her droid project is coming along well. I’m crossing my fingers for her - I know how the rug can be pulled out from her without warning. And she’s applying to another school! Good for her. Get up and try again.


    Part 2.

    Oh Doria. The world is corrupt, and rich people like Tendra will always find a way to beat out clever people like you, even when what you did was better than hers. It’s a sad lesson to learn.

    The other December 24

    Part 1.

    MOM WAS MISS GOLDEN GRAINS? perfect. And of course, she found fault with it.

    Everything in that sentence is true. There is a blind man who sees far more than you can imagine, and he is looking for you, Doria.

    And Tendra is this year’s Miss Golden Grains. Of course she is.


    Part 2.

    Excellent grades, except for music (Department of Irony Department). This bothered me:

    I can’t recall - Does Tendra know what Porky did to her? Because if she does, and she chooses to be out with Porky anyway, that’s - that’s appalling.

    Girl, buckle up. You are going to have the most incredible experiences ever.

    EP, thank you for this fantastic story! I loved every minute of it.
     
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  16. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    I Think That This Works
    Doria’s s still out to be TEH MOST PROGRESSIVEST EVAH. AND ALSO BEAT TENDRA (who is theoretically her best friend, but hey, Doria, don’t let that get in the way of your competitive streak!) Uncle Geo is a hoot! I can just picture him; he reminds me of my grandpa and his friends. :) He’s at a stage in his life when he doesn’t have to worry about being progressive. He can just be himself, say weird things and enjoy everything, even falling over (Luvit!) And cookies! I just want to hug him!

    Speaking of cookies, Doria’s idea for a cookie droid is priceless! I want one! It can fix my car AND make snickerdoodles! Yes! Why can’t we all get along and eat cookies? As far as college and the “deviance” of youth—going to college might be the best thing for Doria, because getting out of her narrow circle of acquaintances, she might realize that there are plenty of people out there who have fun without spice or booze or sex. It’s just that the media and pop culture makes a big deal out of those things. And also— even those people who enjoy those kinds of things are highly unlikely to force you to participate, Doria. You be you.

    I AM FURIOUS!!!
    Tell us how you really feel, Doria. On the one hand, it’s completely understandable for Doria to be disappointed. On the other, sore loser much? It’s not Tendra’s fault that hers was chosen as the best simply because she’s a red shirt. Yet Doria is so angry that she can even muster a fake congratulations for her. Sigh... sometimes Doria doesn’t act like she knows how to be a friend after all. To make things worse,Maris is her usual cranky, contradictory self. And even Gredda’s attempt at cheering Doria fails. Doria needs to realize that other people have their flaws, too, even those who seem to have it all together. And things like not being first in your class matter less as life goes on.

    I and Others in the Memorybook
    Wow, what bunch of lovely Human beings —and it seems to be the Humans, especially Dak who are behind all these fabulous “awards”. Just wow... I’m sure they meant the one about “most likely to watch Brave Little Banthas” for life” as an insult, but who cares? (There’s a young man on Yavin 4 who’d be happy to discuss the BLB with you on hyper-yak, Doria!) Don’t worry, they’ll be retro-cool someday and you can sneer at all the posers who suddenly claim they loved them all along—not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.

    As for the rest of her “most likely”s, as well as Jan’s, Cavernus’s, and Rende’s, Dak needs a swift kick in the shebs. If I didn’t know what happens to him later, I’d vote him “most likely to be punched in the face because he’s not as clever as he thinks” and “mostly likely to become a small fish in a big pond”. Of course there’s a certain foreshadowing to Doria being voted mostly likely to marry a blind man....

    I am the Peace of the Mad
    Doria’s grades are certainly better than she would have expected. I’m not sure what it means that Malokio gave her a 5. Was she just harsh in public because Orange Shirt And she’s sucking up to Dak, but secretly liked Doria’s work? Or did she just give a blanket 5 because she doesn’t care at this point?Love that the music instructor is apparently a droid—because no on teaches the creative arts like a ROBOT! Next, they’ll be writing poetry! I don’t think it’s that much of a contradiction for Doria to be bad at playing music, even though she enjoys it. (I’m that way myself) It’s just that her creative talents lie in different areas.

    Graduation sounds like it will be a real treat for Doria, between Aunt Sarlaac and her lame excuses, Maris’s crankiness over Doria’s supposed “failure” in music (newsflash, honey, your daughter is her own person, not a clone of you), and memories of her dad, and how he, too, would have been absent and uninterested. And her friends... maybe not surprising, given the social stratus of shirts, but still. Ouch. Jan at least knows what Porky is. What a slap in the face.

    Doria’s introduction speech is great. I think there would be more like this if people were honest. I’ve always hated the “where do you see yourself in five years” type question, because, honestly, too much can change. I can’t imagine many people’s answers match their ultimate reality! But one thing we know Doria has absolutely wrong is that nothing interesting will ever happen to her. You have no idea....

    Wonderful job with this diary! It’s been fun to watch Doria grow throughout the year. There have been lots of laughs and lots of emotions along the way. She’s come so far, and this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning for her! [face_love]
     
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  17. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    If things seem out of sequence, it is probably because I read and took notes as I went. So now that I'm at the end, everything in the middle is mixed up. ;)

    More or less that's almost what happens. As usual, Doria's speculations are a goldmine of dramatic irony. If she only knew. :p

    Just kind of assume the opposite of everything you've been told, Doria. ;) You'll be on the right track, or closer to it at any rate. (There are many villains that I have wished to get their comeuppance, but I have to say one who shall remain nameless here is the first one where I can recall wanting them to be subjected to... literary criticism and historical analysis of their writing. [face_devil])

    Liked the phrase "triad everybody around". :p

    Doria really did very well with her project, to even get top marks if one allows for favoritism. Sadly, she doesn't have the perspective to count her own impressive accomplishments when she fails to get the coveted top spot. :( And while yes, there is some obvious RED SHIRTS ARE TEH BESTEST going on there, it's still sad that she can't be at least a little bit happy for her friend. Tendra seems like the type to be doing her project in good faith (though I do wonder if her helicopter parents insisted on interfering), even if Doria doesn't think much of the concept behind it. And Tendra even liked her project, but then it does still seem to be hard for Doria to really believe that people appreciate her abilities. But then, this too is what we see in TBS and we're quickly approaching that as the story ends.

    I'm sure Gredda wishes that were the case! [face_laugh]

    Wow, the emotional maturity on display here is... what I would expect of Dak and Porky. :rolleyes: As @Raissa Baiard said, they and their cronies seem to be the ones who made up most of the childish and nasty predictions about at least half the class. But then, they managed only one reasonably bad prediction here even though they were obviously trying with all three. :p

    On the one hand, ominous. On the other hand, it's kind of amusing that the always-disregarded Rende was probably responsible -- the revenge of the quiet ones! ;)

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Umm. About that boring life -- not gonna happen. :p

    Excellent job of making the ending fit with the next in the series (chronologically), and the title phrase gets a reference too! =D= This was a really enjoyable read and I'm so glad that you were able to finish it. Congratulations on finishing, by the way! [face_dancing]
     
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  18. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Since I assume that a couple more folks want to leave comments and, well, I cannot edit the title, I thought I would do an old-fashioned thanks for the DDC win. :)

    Not only that I never thought that I would win this competition twice in a row (!), with Letters Never Sent and now this, but I was pretty surprised that I made it to the end, with all the delays, the moments when I was feeling too bad to even post an already-written chapter, format it and write footnotes. Not to mention that batch of comments I only added at the end of November. It could have looked disrespectful to those who didn't know what was going on, it could have looked like I was pulling some half-assed attempt at being nice, while I actually didn't care or something like that.

    By now, pretty much all of you know about the whole train-wreck of a year that happened when my pdoc misdiagnosed me, I trusted her for whatever reason and a freakin' neuroleptic turned me into a plant. I'm super-grateful that it's a) over and that b) everybody in this thread kept on encouraging me to continue. [face_love][face_love][face_love]

    I will do my best to provide an e-book as soon as possible - and yeah, I owe you about 3/4 of the 2016 one as well and I'm aware of that. So, yeah. That should happen.

    For those of you who want MOAR DORIA, the story continues the very next afternoon in The Black Star and I'm currently very enthusiastic about writing The Blind Chart the Stars, where Doria is slightly older and - gasp - has an actual love interest. If anybody would like to follow any or both of those, I will be honoured. :)

    @};-So...once again - thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you all! @};-
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2018
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  19. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    So now, I’m proud to say I’m caught up at last with the end of the first part of Doria’s saga—it’s about time, isn’t it! :D So many important things happen in this last group of chapters, and we get to see Doria learn some very important thins that will always stay with her—though in almost each case she does so in a “two steps forward, one step back” sort of way that’s very believable for her at this stage.

    She learns the truth about Scarif and the Death Star and begins to understand the true atrocity of what the Empire is doing—even as she finds herself drawn to its “symbolism.” She learns about Endor, that mysterious and even more symbolic sanctuary world—and one of her first thoughts is to learn the natives’ language “for funsies, to impress others.” (Her mom is clearly paying attention about this, as we see from the Outer Rim languages textbook she gets her as a birthday gift.)

    When Jan comes out to her about his homosexuality (a brave thing to do given the prejudiced climate on Sacorria), she responds with acceptance and support. She even learns some interesting background about huttza/ziipa on a birthday that’s actually pretty good, for a change—it’s nice to see her enjoying some pleasant downtime, tasty meals at two great eateries, and quality time with the slightly quirky but mostly aiight Aunt Iris.

    She works hard on her droid and even brainstorms some very fun future droid projects; I like the idea of that cookie-aking astromech! :D And I very much enjoyed seeing Uncle Geo—another quirky but mostly simpatico relative. (Doria’s got quite a few relatives that fit that description!) And though she’s naturally disappointed when her droid doesn’t come in first, she still is a good sport about it and compliments her red-shirt friend.

    All along the way she’s still making sense of her dreams of the mysterious prince-pateesa, and from that, I see, she is gaining some good insights into the true nature of love and sex. Yes, indeed, we are defnitely “a little more complicated” than D’Fraudianism would make us out to be, and there is indeed a different kind of love out there than any of the kinds she’s experienced so far. I recognize the story she plans to write about the runaway girl and her prince, which

    in some ways is her own story.

    (I think she’s got some learning to do about princess and just what they can be capable of in this particular Galaxy, however! :p )

    I noticed the new little bit she learns about Dyeke here, from Pan Steurpa, which she of course tries to reconcile with what she read in Midday Darkness.. It’s just a tiny tidbit, but in a way, these new things she’s learning bit by bit about Dyeke parallel the new things she’s learning bit by bit about herself. He too, as we have seen in your stories starring him, spent a large part of his life exploring the nature of love and trying to find love (and specifically trying to regain the love that he had). Of course, the exact mechanics of how he and Doria do that will turn out to be totally different—but the overarching goal is similar. <3

    The silly memorybook voting categories (reminiscent in their way of the “random awards” we once had here!) and reminiscences about classmates made me smile—high school highjinks are one of those things that’s about the same in every galaxy, n’est-ce pas? And of course I smiled extra about Doria’s collection of “most likelies”: yep, all pretty much spot on…

    ...right down to that “marrying a blind man” bit! Well, blind from a certain point of view, at least… ha ha, punny. :p

    And finally we see her reach the culmination of her schooling so far and see her graduate and reflect on her grades. Her report card is quite a respectable one on the whole, and I feel so much of naches for her—I wish she felt more for herself rather than dwelling on the few areas like music that she didn’t do quite so well on. And I especially wish she wouldn’t be so sure things are going to turn out to be so boring and colorless for her! Because I am pret-ty sure they will be quite the opposite.

    Spotted another cool EP touch: Doria’s self-introduction blurb at the end, which of course...

    …constitutes the opening words of The Black Star, which I know is where her story picks up. I’m reminded of how the opening words of Letters Never Sent show up again at its very end, though in this case the closing words are the opening ones of a different story. Wonderful touches like that remind us just how interconnected everything is!

    All in all, these last several chapters make for a wonderful wrap-up to this chronicle of one of your most interesting characters' early life and times. I know when I first read about Doria I didn’t always find her the easiest to relate to, but having read this diary I now have a better idea of where she’s coming from and feel like I “get” her a lot better now. And again, there's the naches factor—I just feel really proud of all that Doria has learned and how far she has come, and am tickled pink (or orange…) to have had the opportunity to follow her along her journey.

    Thanks so, so much, once again, and bravissima on bringing this story to its conclusion—and may I also add my congratulations on this story's many very well-deserved awards nominations! @};- =D=

    // SUBMIT DATA
     
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