JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

Or they could have a major time jump to the next movie. Say 5-10 years. Then she could have passed in between movies. Novels/comics could show exactly how.

 

Spoiler

No time jump. The Resistance will now chase after the First Order in space since the spark has been ignited. We'll see Finn and Rose rolling around the grass on Naboo. Rey using the Force to watch Kylo Ren kill Broom Kid and all his friends. Then the rest of the movie is the plot of Casino Royale on Canto Bight.

 

you guys are so critical. why can't you just enjoy the movie?

said Rylo Ken

 

Are you an adult?

 

where's the fun in that ?

 

Because Star Wars is terrible.

 

I badly wanted to be able to hate The Last Jedi, but can't. One third of it is the best Star Wars movie ever made.

 

Which third

 

Luke/Rey/Kylo/Snoke plus Yoda I'm not sure if their scenes combined are really a third

 

Probably Finn/Rose

 

TLJ wants to equally deconstruct and embrace Star Wars so I understand both sides of the argument. Bring your criticism and your praise. I enjoy hearing both sides while at the same time poking fun at the movie's more silly moments.

 

This movie is great but Star Wars is bad. It's not that hard.

 

Bacon164: You needn't be sad, my friend; our shared love of ROTS and (presumably) bacon unites us in perfect bliss.

I will forgive Disney's manifold transgressions, provided they release an Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan standalone in the near future.

 

Snoke's Elite Praetorian Guards were...

a) ...the Knights of Ren.
b) ...glorified bodyguards and made to resemble Palpatine's Royal Guard.
c) It doesn't matter and won't be explained.
d) Other (your thoughts)

 

C, just like their boss.

 

lol.... this thread.

 

Ender: I don't know what you're talking about. Revenge of the Sith revolves around the decimation of a dynasty, and is every bit as subversive about it (and infinitely more successful) than TLJ. The spiritually-barren Jedi allowed themselves to be absorbed into a war machine, playing the part of useful idiots in an orchestrated conflict, and were summarily crushed. It's an incisive statement by Lucas, in how liberal elites and mainstream religious denominations rush to sanctify war in the name of "preservation", while unwittingly strengthening reactionary forces.

 

I've already written Episode 9. You're welcome.

It's going to be another revolution in Star Wars style. Instead of a traditional Star Warsian conflict between Kylo and Rey, the movie will start with Hux staging a coup that deposes Kylo as the supreme leader.

Rey and Kylo must team up to kill Hux and end the First Order's military threat to the galaxy. The two don't agree on ends, but combined they possess the means, and it becomes a 2 hour long buddy road movie in which they engage in a fierce rivalry to see who is more powerful with the Force.

Meanwhile Poe and Finn recruit a new second rebel alliance and begin true guerilla warfare against the First Order as the First Order seeks to consolidate control of the galaxy. I don't want to give too much away about the composition of the new second rebel alliance, but the son of Jar Jar and the daughter of Wicket feature prominently.

 

You expect too much from J. J., Ken.

 

You mean GL already wrote it. In 1983.

 

it'll be the Second Order vs. The Rebistance

 

I think the comparison between The Last Jedi and the Prequel Trilogy is very inaccurate. The PT is flat and duel and the conclusion was apparent as the sinking of the Titanic in the film Titanic.

The Last Jedi is more like Lucas' Special Editions of the Original Trilogy, specifically the musical number in Jabba's Palace in Return of the Jedi.



Just some jarring scenes that take you out of the film.

 

@jointheschwartz


Then how about...



IX starts with Rose and BB-8 on foot (and...belly?), approaching a First Order Base. They are allowed in and among the jeering troops sits Hux, sneer set to 11. BB-8 plays a message from Rey saying they are gifts for the First Order, a show of goodwill before Rey comes to negotiate for Poe Dameron's life (CUT TO SHOT OF POE ENCASED IN A FOIRCE FIELD). Rose asks if he's playing the right message. Rose and BB-8 are sent to work. Later, a masked bounty hunter approaches, with the Mighty Chewbacca, and collects a reward for Chewie. That night the bounty hunter sneaks over to Poe's prison and releases him. But it's a trap! The bounty hunter is unmasked, to reveal it is none other than Finn. To teach Finn a lesson, Hux has him chained to his Big Chair, dressed in nothing but short-shorts. (NOW YOU WILL DANCE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!).



Okay, I'm losing the will to live, but you get the idea.

 

Wow I had no idea Mr. Abrams posted here. I'll try to get VIP colors for you ASAP.