Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

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...that in another reality, would have been called a bikini.

 

A sharovary is what the pants part reminds me of. It's an exotic sounding name that could be considered 'Star-Wars-y.' For Leia's actual costume, it could be a sharovary that moths got into and mostly destroyed ...

 

I have a bad feeling about this.

 

Ewok Poet
pronker That is a very cool word, if a little obscure.

 

I was not kidding. It was done and done, it's a bit of a dead horse thing.

 

In the months immediately following the battle of Yavin

Kurisan You could use generic words to describe the two pieces. My thesaurus and a swimwear catalog suggest bra, halter or bandeau for the top and panties, shorts, or briefs for the bottoms. For Leia's outfit, I might describe the bottom as "a pair of high-cut (whatever) with panels of flowing vine-silk (or other material) attached."

 

And Raissa Baiard is the winner. "a dancer's bandeau and briefs" has a nice ring and does the job. Thanks to all who gave suggestions.

However, I am sensing deep wisdom in the words of Ewok Poet . This will probably be cut in the edit. Sorry to all who lent me your time.

 

I was going to suggest "She bought a dancer's costume, two piece and skimpy," but that works very nicely.

 

You can also have her wear something resembling Gypsy/Boho long shirt/baggy trousers and off-shoulder top combos. If she's a slave and needs to dance, that's an option, too.

I have a scene in a future fic where a character gets to wear a godawful dress, but it's for comedy and satire of jet set type of stuff. As in, it's supposed to be there, as a gag.

 

Ewok Poet The actress I use as a "model" for Maya also has this photo available...


Wow, that came out bigger than I intended lol.

Is that something like what you mean? I suppose I could use this costume... but I'm leaning towards dropping the clothes-change altogether after your advice - or indeed subverting the trope as an in-gag.


K

 

Something like this, actually.

 

Kurisan I'm late to the party but here's my two drachmas anyway. Identifying the outfit as a "dance slave costume" even if your character is not a slave is convenient shorthand in a SW fanfic because everyone knows what you're talking about, so you don't need to describe it at all. In turn, not having to describe the costume makes it easier to avoid the dead horse thing, which, IMO, doesn't come from the costume itself (or from any costume change for that matter) but from the purpose the scene serves in your story.

 

IMHO I'd avoid calling it a slave anything because of the connotation. I'd call it a two piece dancer's outfit or costume. Then if needed I'd add the descriptive detail (color, texture, material, etc.). To me, defining it to be a slave's outfit implies subjugation and that's adding a layer of implication that you might not intend.

EDIT: looks like Chyn and I will not be co-authoring an article on Fashion Week in Vogue.

 

No problems :) , many of my questions don't get used, or at least not at that time because I change my planes or other stuff gets priority. But the discussions are always useful and the information can be reused for later times.

Then I would say that among the Rebels (I don't think Luke would really be known outside of the Rebels at that time), there would probably be some who knew (since he is caring around a lightsabre, probably mentions having some (minimal) training under Obi-Wan and is the son to Anakin Skywalker). I think it comes down to how open Luke is with who his father is and that he plans to became a jedi knight.

 

I forgot that Luke would be carrying around the lightsabre.

On the dance costume, I think I am mostly inclined to agree with divapilot. I did not understand @Ewok_Poet's unexplained dead equine comment. Was it to do with tropes?

 

Do we know of any other beast of burden (and I mean beast of burden not riding animals), beside the once we see in the movies, that would fit an African-step-like setting?

Alternatively: any non-Naboo beast of burden that would fit a wetter train?

 

Dewback?

 

Eopie?

 

Ewok Poet re: gypsy dancing costume. OK, thanks, I'll think about that. Still leaning towards taking your first instinct, though.

Chyntuck And there you go complicating my decision with good alternative advice like that!

divapilot I agree with you; no-one would go into a shop and say, "I'd like to buy a slave costume" unless they really were going to a fancy-dress party. And I wouldn't describe it directly to the reader like that, either. But the word can be introduced by another character, like, "You look like one of Jabba's slave girls." I think I would describe it as "dancer's" clothes in the first instance, as you say.

Sith-I-5 Yeah... I haven't actualy read that much SW fanfic, but from EP's words I can imagine every single female character in fanfic probably ends up in a golden bikini at some point (particularly those written by nerdy fanboys - a subspecies of the human race of which I am an original member ). I was sort of going to introduce it tongue-in-cheek as an in-joke, but from what EP said even the joke is now tiresome. (It's... what? ... 10 years since Jennifer Anniston wore one in Friends). It was a nice high-five moment during the RPG - almost as expected as a villain at some point saying, "No, I am your father!" - but perhaps better to cut it for the story.

On the other hand, the situation does call for some clothes that will get the character "noticed" and hired as an entertainer. Jedi robes are pretty drab. It also symbolises a theme of the story about being able to change oneself.

I'm currently 50-50 on the decision.

Gamiel I second Eopie. They're all over the place, though perhaps better suited to dry climates. The Gelagrub is from wet-humid Felucia http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gelagrub/Legends but is used as a mount, so might be no good to you. Seems they are easily domesticated, though, and many riding animals double as beast-of-burden in real life. Hope this helps!


K

 

Thanks all for the animal suggestions but I have realised (while being in the shower) what animal I should use, so no more suggestions are needed

I think that's a belly dancer costume

 

Kurisan I actually agree up to a point with divapilot re: the undertones, but I find it difficult to avoid the undertones when we're talking about a metal bikini in the first place. (Btw divapilot you never told us that you wrote for Vogue!)

Also, I did some research on SW dance scenes because I was having trouble writing one for my long fic a while back, and I found surprisingly few, and even fewer involving the metal bikini. It could be that I looked in the wrong places though. As a side note, the gypsy/belly dance/faux Bollywood costume is much more of a pet peeve of mine than the bikini, because I keep running into it in both pro and fan fiction and art (SW and non-SW). I personally think that it's a lot more clichéd, but this is of course a YMMV thing.

Since your scene calls for a change of clothes etc, why don't you go with an entirely different style? I can imagine an adaptation of Jedi robes for dancing -- as in, a long, flowing outfit that becomes part of the dance. Maybe something borrowed from the Sufi whirling dervishes? (That could fit nicely with the Jedi ethos btw -- "I'm disguised as an entertainer but I'm still a Jedi" kind of thing.)

Gamiel I vote for eopie.

 

Wouldn't the woman's appearance - face, physique - do more to attract attention, rather than what she is wearing? When models are scouted in RL for instance, I assumed that was what the scout would be going by, not their clothing.

 

Well if there's very little clothing so that it shows off the physique, that would attract attention! Not to mention if it draws eyes away from the face...

 

I had a Twi'lek (of course) scoundrel wear skimpy body armor for that very reason.

 

Chyntuck Point taken re inescapable undertones. That thing you describe with the long robes actually is in The Approaching Storm by Alan Dean Foster. Luminara - or is it Barriss? - does a dance like that to entertain and hence gain the trust of a local species. I remember reading it and thinking "wow so all the players passed level-20 difficulty enertainment tasks" haha.

Sith-I-5 That would depend entirely upon who is doing the hiring!

So, my current thinking is that this issue is just too tricky for the amount it actually adds to the story. I can see too many different opinions and nuances here. Better to just cut it out. Makes the story shorter, too, which is always a good thing. I might leave a "Director's cut" on Maya's homepage for those who might be interested.

It'll be a while before it's ready for publication, so there's still time for me to change my mind several times lol.

Thanks to all who contributed!

K