Funny Quotes From Game Characters

Star Wars games, for the most part, have had some pretty unique characters, some with unique senses of humor. Here are some of my favorite quotes...what are yours?

Pirates! I wonder if it's anyone I know...

Mara Jade, Mysteries of the Sith

Luke Skywalker: I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Kyle Katarn: You always sense a disturbance in the Force, but yeah, I sense it too.


Kyle and Luke, Jedi Academy

Anybody have some to add?

 

Anything Minsc says in BG2.

I hate you old man. Revan, KOTOR.

 

That was amusing, LOL.

 

In RS1, the Jade Moon, after you disable the Shield generator, there's a cutscene whose dialogue is something like
Crix: Did Skywalker make that shot?
Luke: That was me
Wedge: Hey, I thought I was the best
Luke: Hey

But they focus on Crix Madien's transport the whole time so it seems like

Did Skywalker make that shot? That was me. Hey, I thought I was the best. Hey!

I also like the guy who locks himself in the locker on Manaan in KOTOR (The one entertaining thing on that planet)

"You're not gonna get me, Fishy. I'm safe behind five-no- TEN centimeters of Durasteel. No food for Fishy!"

or something like that

 

Yeah, I have the fishy quote as one of my away messages, because it is so funny. Then another good KotOR one is if you press Jolee about his life on Kashyyyk, eventually he says "what can I say? I did it all for the wookies" which may or may not be a reference to the Limp Bizket song "Nookie" but I always think it is.

 

"Never trust a bartender with bad grammar."

 

From KOTOR another quote form Jolee,

Jolee: when you run straight into a two kilometer high tree theres a good chance you dont have much ship left.

 

It almost goes without saying (but I hope someone will say it because I forgot exactly how it goes) but HK-47's definition of love in KOTOR II

I also like, not saying it's great or anything, but in Jedi Outcast when you meet the bartender and Kyle's like "I'm not a Jedi, just a guy with a lightsaber and a few questions" and the bartender's like "Okay mister 'Guy-with-a-lightsaber'..."

 

"And Jan punches the Weequay right in the..."

JA, Corellian transport training mission.

 

Just came across this one in KotOR II

In refrence to Jedi marrying:

The Exile: "I believe they call it, 'pulling a Bindo'"

That one made me laugh out lound.

 

Just about anything that comes from the lips of Guybrush Threepwood.

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."
"That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!"
"I'm wired to explode if anyone tries to kill me."

"[singing] Oh... there's... a... monkey in my pocket / And he's stealing all my change / His stare is blank and glassy / I suspect that he's deranged!"
"Look behind you! It's a three-headed monkey!"

 

/\/\ beat me to Guybrush


Have to go with the obligatory andything by HK47 statement.


97% chance this meatbag is telling the truth 3% chance he's not. I suggest we kill him anyway.

 

HK saying the definition of Love: Love is like killing a meatbag at long range with a blah blah rifle... or whatever, made me laugh like mad.

 

HK:
Mockery: Oh master, I love you but I hate everything you stand for! Let us press our fleshy mucus-covered lips together in the cargo hold!

Sam'n'Max are also hilarious.
I hope there was nobody on that bus we know or care about.

 

In the ROTS game, Yoda says one of the dumbest most obvious lines in the game...

when Obiwan and Yoda are fighting clones in the temple, the clones are going crazy and firing at ya, and you have to cut'em all down.

Yoda: 'attacking us, the clones are'.

YA DON'T SAY?!!!!! that made me laugh!

 

HK:
Mockery: Oh master, I love you but I hate everything you stand for! Let us press our fleshy mucus-covered lips together in the cargo hold!

When does he say that?

 

"I didn't know she was your sister! It was mating season!"- Captain Quark to his monkey friend. Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal.

I choked on my soda during that cutscene.

 

What was the exact phrasing of the one where Jolee says something like: "Some times we old people see so much Force surrounding someone and say 'Ooh! Destiny!'"

 

Cannibal in Monkey Island game: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?"

 

"ALL YOUR BASE BELONG TO US!"-CATS

 

These are some quotes from both KOTOR games thanks to:
www.imdb.com

Sith Recruit: Do you know how many sith there are on this planet?
Jolee Bindo: Twelve! No, wait! Thirteen!

[Talking about Juhani's past]
Juhani: The Jedi, they were almost... like gods...
Revan: Damn straight! I DO look divine!

HK-47: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Revan: Maybe later...
HK-47: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"
Yuka Laka: Err, well... ah...

Wookie injured: Please human, will you help me? I'm dying...
Revan: You are not worthy! Why should I help you, weakling?
Jolee Bindo: Nice... nice... nice... nice... Should we next find some insects to pull its legs off? Sounds fun doesn it?


Revan: Gamorrean pig-man!
Carth Onasi: Oh, ouch. I think you hurt my man-feelings with that one.

Canderous Ordo: Lady, you couldn't even find your own ass, even with your friends' help!

Bastila Shan: On which planet were you born?
Revan: Kashyyyk. I'm a Wookiee, can't you tell?

Jolee Bindo: You know, you remind me of someone I used to know. Promising young man, great destiny. Breath like a bantha.
Revan: Did you annoy this person endlessly, too?

Anzanti Zhug: [while the Exile is on his way to meet the Exchange boss of Nar Shaddaa's Refugee Sector, the party is intercepted at the landing plattform] I am Anzanti Zhug, leader of Zhugs, very powerful, very skilled hunters. It would be very smart of you to tell me where the criminal Jedi has gone. And do speak very quick, my patience is very low.
Atton Rand: Anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very'.
Bao-Dur: I think he wanted us to give up the General to his poorly-trained collection of bounty hunters.
Atton Rand: Ah. Well, that would explain it. Which one do you want?
Bao-Dur: I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance.

 

"You must destroy the Ion cannons. They're tearing us apart." ~ Admiral Ackbar RS3

^ (It's funny because ion cannons don't tear ships apart, only mess with the circuits)

"Great I've always wanted my own Wookie slave." ~Revan

Exile: [Force Persuade] Give me all your credits and jump into the central pit.

Thug: My head...oh...the pit...it's a faster way to the ground! *jump*

"Definition:"love" is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope." ~ HK-47

 

also from kotor

Jolee Bindo: I did it all for the Wookies.
Revan: The Wookies?
Jolee Bindo: The Wookies!

Mission Vao: Hey , Bastila. Have you ever used the force to , you know, trip some jerk who's ticking you off?
Bastila Shan: No I haven't , I have the years of wisdom and understanding that allow me to see how childish such an act would be.
Mission Vao: Childish? Just 'cause you're some Jedi doesn't mean you can be a prissy little...
[Mission falls over]
Mission: What the-? Hey that wasn't funny!
Bastila Shan: I have no idea what you're talking about , Mission. Please do try to be less clumsy in the future.

 

i was playing ROTS, and Obi-wan told Ol' Ben Kenobi, "I'm a kid compared to your age."

I was laughing my *** off all night.