Story [Harry Potter] Not So Forgetful (Neville Longbottom Dark AU Oneshot for Angstmonger's Annoymous #6)

Title: Not So Forgetful

Fandom: Harry Potter

Author: devilinthedetails

Genre: AU; Vignette; Character Study; Angst; Drama; Family.

Characters: Neville Longbottom; Alice Longbottom; Frank Longbottom; Augusta Longbottom; Bellatrix Lestrange; Great-Aunt Enid; OC's.

Summary: A not-so-forgetful Neville obtains justice for his parents.

Notes: This was written for Angstmonger's Anonymous Challenge #6, which was to take a good character and turn them to the dark side in some meaningful way in a story of at least 750 words. I also embraced the bonus challenge of using the words "puncture," "penance," and "possess" in my story. Thanks to @ViariSkywalker for the inspiration that thread always provides for dark tales such as this!

Not so Forgetful

“It’s a blessing in disguise that he has a memory like a leaky cauldron,” Great-Aunt Enid remarks to Gran. Great-Aunt Enid and Gran are sitting on the uncomfortably upholstered chairs that dominate Gran’s stiffly formal parlor. The parlor Gran insists on using whenever she and Neville have company in the manor. Company, in Gran’s pursed lipped opinion, entails great-aunts and great-uncles. Any extended family that might come to call.

“He surely doesn’t remember his parents before they went mad as hatters,” continues Great-Aunt Enid. Discussing Neville as if he is not present in the parlor to overhear this examination of his shortcomings and the hidden perks thereof. Or, possibly, as if he is too deaf and dumb to comprehend anything spoken in his presence. As if nothing can puncture his bubble of ignorance and obliviousness. “Doesn’t remember what happened to them.”

His family, he has noticed in his nine years of life, often assume that he is stupid, and it does not seem worth the effort of confrontation. The drain of correcting them. Besides, perhaps he is as stupid as they all seem to believe. Maybe he is only too dumb to be aware of his own stupidity.

He acts completely transfixed, therefore, with the beautifully illustrated book on magical plants from the Amazon that Great-Aunt Enid bought him this visit. Gran turns up her nose at Herbology as a pointless subject, far less prestigious than Transfiguration, Charms, or even Potions, but Great-Aunt Enid, perhaps pitying Neville, brings him a new book on Herbology any time she visits.

He has an overflowing bookshelf devoted to various tomes on Herbology thanks to her. Tomes on Herbology that he often retreats to his room to read whenever he needs to escape the sky-high expectations and demands that his Gran has of him. Sky-high expectations and demands that he will inevitably disappoint in crashing fashion.

He also has, thanks to his own diligent scrapbooking, an album filled with photos of the parents he does remember before the Death Eaters attacked them and shattered their sanity, especially when he looks down at the pictures.

Pictures of his dad bouncing a baby-faced Neville on his knee. Pictures of his mum, her face plump and happy before the thinning, perpetual worry of madness ruined it, rocking a newborn Neville in her arms at St. Mungo’s before she ever could have imagined being trapped there and in her own tortured mind for the rest of her life. Pictures of his dad reading Neville a bedtime story. Of his mum crooning him a lullaby.

Merry photos of them at their wedding. Exchanging their vows. His mum radiant in a white dress and veil. Their beaming friends and families gathered around them on this most jubilant of days. A not insignificant amount of those friends also becoming tragic victims of the war against You-Know-Who and his vile Death Eaters. A generation devastated by unfathomable evil.

Pictures of his dad–no doubt snapped by a proud Gran–in Hogwarts robes. A prefect and then a Head Boy badge gleaming on his chest. Of his parents dancing together beneath moon and fairy light in the gardens of the Longbottom estate when they were young and first falling in love. Swaying softly. Their eyes gentle with longing for each other.

His throat tightens whenever he flips through these golden moments of his parents’ lives captured forever in these photographs while their sad husks are imprisoned at St. Mungo’s. Almost as much as his throat and lungs constrict when his gaze falls on the box he keeps next to the photo album on his claw-footed nightstand.

The box brimful of old wrappers of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum that his mum has slipped him, her hand sweaty, on his visits to St. Mungo’s with Gran. Wrappers that are the only gifts his mum has been able to offer him for years. A sad, crinkled legacy to possess.

Wrappers that he chooses to see as an expression of her love. Wrappers that he lifts to his nose. Deeply inhaling the scent of cotton candy flavor that clings to them. A smell he comes to associate with his mum. Preferable to the medicinal smell of the ward where she now lives.

“It’s my fault the boy can barely remember his own name,” Neville has once overheard Gran confide to her old friend from her long-lost Hogwarts days over tea, crumpets, and blackberry jam in the parlor. A majestic black woman named Octavia Shacklebolt. “After what happened to his parents, I performed a Memory Charm on him so he wouldn’t remember the Cruciatus Curse those wicked Death Eaters inflicted on them. Driving them to madness. Only I was so distraught, I must have been too forceful with the Charm. I really should be more patient with him since it’s my own fault he can’t remember anything now, but I never had a dram of patience for anyone. And I keep hoping apparently in vain that if I’m sharp enough with him, he might start remembering everything except the one thing I wanted him to forget.”

Despite Gran’s overpowered Memory Charm, Neville recalls the shrill shrieks of agony his parents emitted on that night when he was only a year old. That night when some of the highest-ranking Death Eaters invaded his house. Demanding to know the whereabouts of their defeated Dark Lord so they could resurrect him by blackest magic. Inflicting the Cruciatus Curse on his parents until they crumbled into insanity.

The ice-cold memory of that night cuts through Neville like a steel knife when the Dementers search the Hogwarts Express for the fugitive murderer and traitor at large, Sirius Black. The villain who betrayed Lily and James Potter to You-Know-Who. Who slaughtered Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles before being carted off to Azkaban in chains.

Neville knows all about the horrors of Azkaban. Has grown up hearing about how the Dementers there torment the prisoners with their darkest memories. Driving them to madness. Wracking them with guilt and grief if they are capable of such redemptive emotions. Of accepting such a painful penance.

The Death Eaters that broke into his house and tortured his parents into insanity are in Azkaban now. Have received a life sentence to rot there until they die.

He has seen, sneaking into Gran’s bedroom when she is on lengthy shopping expeditions to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade with Octavia Shacklebolt, to view the unbearable memories she stores in her Pensieve, that dreadful sentence passed in a courtroom deep in the bowels of the Ministry of Magic. Has heard Gran testify in a broken voice to the impact the crime has had on her. On him, her young grandson.

Understands that this sentence was supposed to be justice, or a rough approximation of it according to the laws of the Ministry as interpreted by its courts.

Has heard, too, Gran’s frequent expostulations to Octavia Shacklebolt on the inadequacies and limitations of what seems to her such a paltry sentence.

“Those monsters who tortured dear Frank and Alice should have been sentenced to death like they would have been when we were young,” Gran has often lamented to Octavia Shacklebolt. “Should’ve been dragged straight from the courtroom to the amphitheater where the veil is kept. Should’ve been shoved right through that veil into whatever hell awaits them in the afterlife once they’d had their chance to say their last words. Of course, that veil is only used by the Department of Mysteries to study death and communication with the dead now that execution has been outlawed as a too medieval punishment in our enlightened modern era.”

“Witches and wizards weren’t so soft about administering justice to the most disgusting criminals in our day,” Octavia Shacklebolt always sniffs agreement. “People were sentenced to death for the use of Unforgivable Curses back then. Weren’t shipped off to Azkaban as though they’d done nothing more than possess a contraband flying carpet or bred unauthorized dragons in their front garden so the Muggles notice.”

Neville doesn’t agree with Gran and Octavia Shacklebolt, however. He thinks death, especially the swift and painless one that seems to be offered by this veil Gran mentions, is too kind a fate for the Death Eaters who tortured his parents into insanity.

He believes in his blood and his bones that the Death Eaters who inflicted that fate worse than death on his parents should suffer the same excruciating Unforgivable Curse until their minds crack not from Dementers but from purest, unfiltered pain. Pain without ceasing. Pain without mercy. Pain that could only be relieved by madness. By utter disassociation with oneself.

During the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class of his fourth year at Hogwarts, Neville listens as Professor Moody explains that to cast an Unforgivable Curse one must truly mean the incantation for the magic to have any power.

Watching the spider on which Professor Moody demonstrates the same spell that is the reason his parents are now trapped in St. Mungo’s writhe and squirm on the teacher’s desk in front of the classroom, a pale-faced Neville decides that he would mean the spell if he ever had a chance to meet the monsters who had tortured his mum and dad. Resolves that, weak a wizard as he is, he will still deliver true justice for his parents if given the opportunity.

Professor Moody proves at the end of that year to be a Death Eater in disguise, but the resolution and the lesson remain with Neville. After all, who would be a greater authority on the casting of Unforgivable Curses than a Death Eater?

In his seventh year at Hogwarts, during the final battle against You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters, Neville faces Bellatrix Lestrange. A leader of the Death Eaters who tortured his mum and dad into insanity. Inflicts on her the same Unforgivable Curse that reduced his parents to sad shells of themselves.

Watches with a tight smile on his face as she screams herself hoarse. Howls like a wounded werewolf at the full moon. Scratches at her face until blood mingles with the tears streaming down her cheeks. Until madness shines in her eyes. Even then he doesn’t stop until the battle is over. Until someone (possibly his Gran) drags him away.

Bellatrix is returned to Azkaban like all the others who served You-Know-Who in the wake of his second defeat.

Neville is never tried or sentenced for his use of the Cruciatus Curse on Bellatrix Lestrange. The Ministry, under the temporary leadership of Kingsley Shacklebolt (Octavia Shacklebolt’s Auror son) deems in a sweeping statement that any spells deployed by the Hogwarts defenders, including Unforgivable Curses, were cast in defense of self and others. That, therefore, none of those who fought against You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters on that day, will be charged with any crimes.

Neville’s darkest deed is thus never punished. Is in fact condoned by the government itself. Becomes a badge of honor for him.

He has attained his justice. His vengeance.

His parents are still mad in St. Mungo’s. Can’t understand a word he tells them when he visits. Tries to explain to them that justice has finally been done. That they have been avenged.

His dad’s face never changes no matter what Neville says.

His mum smiles blankly at him. Slips a crinkled wrapper of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum into his fingers before he leaves.

He clings to it as he departs St. Mungo’s. Adds it to the box on his nightstand. The box he weeps over. The box he cries into as he wishes he could sneak into Azkaban every night and use the Cruciatus Curse on every living Death Eater who tortured his parents.

This vision comforts him as nothing else can. Becomes the lullaby of imagined vengeance that soothes and rocks him to sleep as his mum’s singing had once done in a nursery so long ago he can’t remember it without the aid of pictures from his scrapbooked album.

 

Wow, this was something indeed! Neville turned out to be absolute my favorite character from the Harry Potter books, and you know, given the incredible amount of trauma he has suffered on so many levels, I could totally see him taking this route if things had gone differently. I know his Gran is trying to do the best for him that she can, but she is also missing the point on some important things—one of the biggest being the way she is constantly talking about him, in his presence at that, instead of talking to him. Things like that leave an impression on a person even as they get older. All of his feelings are so understandable throughout, right up to the all-important climax with our dear friend Bellatrix, and can I just say that that Cruciatus curse couldn’t have happened to a nicer person! Vengeance doesn’t always give closure, but I would say that this time it does come pretty dang close; it even becomes a comfort to him, and I love the image of the revenge as a lullaby, which comes full circle with those stories of his parents singing to him way back when. Wonderful job with this deep dive into the trauma of this brave cinnamon roll!

 

@SiouxFan Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words I'm so thrilled that you found this to be a great story about Neville because I truly appreciated the opportunity to focus on him and explore his depth as a character in this pierce. I think you are right that because of all the loss and trauma Neville endured as a result of the Death Eaters attacking his parents when he was a baby, it is easy to sympathize with Neville and hard to blame him for seeking revenge on the Death Eaters who have done so much damage to him and to his parents. I'm so touched that I could make you like Neville even more than you already did, and I totally agree with you that in a House full of wizards noted for their courage, he manages to stand out as the bravest and most stout of heart!

@ConservativeJedi321 Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Dark Neville is indeed so terrifying that I got the shivers writing this (because it very much started to feel like a path he could have taken given everything he endures) and I agree that his turn to the dark while horrifying is also very understandable in the context of everything he has suffered as a result of the Death Eaters torturing his parents into insanity. There is definitely the feeling on one hand that Bellatrix gets what is coming for her, but on the other hand, even this is not enough to satisfy Neville and make things right because nothing can restore the Longbottoms to sanity.

@DarthIshtar I, too, am so glad that you followed the link to this fanfic to read and review I'm so pleased to hear that you appreciated this exploration of Neville's family dynamic. It means a lot to hear that you felt I was able to effectively cover the ableism undertones in this story. I did intend for the ableism undertones to be there especially in terms of how Neville's family talk about him and treat him because as someone on the autistic spectrum who unfortunately encountered a lot of bullying in school, Neville was always someone I could relate to because he was a victim of so much abuse from his peers and he could so easily be dismissed as unintelligent because of his forgetfulness from those who didn't bother to look beneath the surface at how gifted and talented he was at a subject like Herbology. Indeed, his passion for Herbology resonated with me a lot as an autistic person with my own special interests. So I definitely poured a lot of my own experiences of being bullied and being dismissed as unintelligent and generally treated in an ableist manner into this story and how I portrayed Neville. It means a lot to know that you, too, could feel your own experiences echoed in how Neville feels about his grandmother's treatment of him because those were the sorts of emotions and experiences I was hoping to capture in my portrayal of Neville here.

@Findswoman Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Neville is so brave and such a sweetheart that I can totally understand how he became your favorite Harry Potter character You are so right that he endured so much trauma on multiple levels throughout the Harry Potter books that once I started imagining a Dark Neville AU, it was easy to think of ways and moments that he could have chosen to tread a darker path than the one he did in canon, because there are so many chances for him to pick the way of rage and revenge rather than remain committed to purely doing good as he does in canon. You are absolutely spot-on that while his Gran is trying to do the best she can for him, she is woefully misguided and tragically unaware of how much harm she is doing by talking about him in such condescending and despairing terms in his presence no less instead of talking to him and trying to understand him and find the best ways to help and support him that way. She really doesn't make an effort to communicate with him at all, and that is a big part of Neville going down a dark path in this story because you are one hundred percent correct that things like being talked about as Gran talks about Neville leave an impression on a person even as they get older. I'm glad to hear that you felt Neville's feelings were understandable throughout right up until the climax where Neville inflicts the Cruciatus Curse on our dear Bellatrix. And, yes, indeed that curse couldn't have happened to a nicer person Vengeance doesn't always give closure, which I wanted to emphasize in terms of that hollowness and sense of loss that Neville is still feeling at the end, but at the same time, in a tragic way, the image of revenge can be a sort of lullaby for Neville to fall asleep to, a sort of dark echo of the lullaby his mother used to sing to him before she was tortured into insanity. Writing this story also made me really want to write more stories about this brave cinnamon roll of a character!

@WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You are absolutely right that even in everyday situations nobody wants to be talked about when they're there as if they can't speak for themselves as Neville's Gran is in the horrible habit of doing about him I'm so flattered that you felt I was able to make Neville's trauma and loss feel so real and gripping. It's definitely so horrific that revenge becomes the only thing Neville can imagine bringing him comfort, and I agree with you that it is equally heartbreaking how there is no cure or possibility of reversing the madness inflicted on Neville's parents by torture. The fate of Alice and Frank Longbottom to me was always one of the darkest and most horrifying aspects of the Harry Potter world, and so it broke my heart to focus on it here and really delve into that darkness and horror from Neville's perspective.

@Chyntuck Thank you so much for reading and for the very thoughtful review I'm so pleased that you felt I was so effectively able to draw on the details about Neville's relationship with his Gran known in canon to create this AU. It tore at my heartstrings writing about Gran talking about Neville to Aunt Enid as if he weren't present and Gran's condescension toward Herbology. The scene where Alice Longbottom hands her son a Droobles Best Blowing Gum wrapper always brings tears to my eyes, and you are very right that was a moment where Gran was shown to be insensitive despite probably thinking in her old-fashioned way that she was acting for the best. She definitely does miss, because she doesn't take the time to communicate with and understand Neville, how this kind, forgetful boy is going down a cruel, vengeful path. One partially inspired by the things that she says to her friend Octavia Shacklebolt about the death penalty and other matters. Neville is soaking this stuff up like a sponge, hearing it all even if Gran is oblivious to that, and what he hears is warping him.

It was a true gut punch to when I had to go there, and even more of a gut punch to have it not bring the closure he longs for. To have him still weeping brokenly over his box of gum wrappers from his mother and having to imagine inflicting his revenge over and over to find any semblance of peace in his soul. Tragically nothing would probably have brought closure completely except an impossible cure for his parents insanity, but if his Gran had helped him deal with his grief better when he was a child and been more supportive of him and his abilities, he would not have gone down such a dark path for vengeance.

It means the world to hear that you felt this was such a powerful and heartbreaking take on the "turn a good person evil" prompt that had so much potential for angst.

And now we will have to share the tissues, you and I