How do vampires put on their makeup?

In every picture and movie we have seen that features female vampires, the said vampires are always smothered in eyeliner. But we all know that they don't appear in mirrors, so how do they see themselves in order to put their makeup on so expertly?

 

they are immortal, I'm sure they had plenty of time to practice

 

They're immortal. They have had years to perfect it and use each other as sounding boards for such questions as, "Is this okay? Should it be thicker? And maybe wing out a bit?"

 

Their friends do it for them.

 

We can see ourselves in mirrors. It's you mortals who can't see our reflections.



Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

 

They get it done at department stores.

 

They use the make-up application shotgun Homer Simpson invented.

 

They get someone else to do it for them.

 

That is brilliant.

Twice now I have seen you stand out as one of the few intelligent people on this board. Bravo.

 

But how can they trust their cohorts? Vampires are solitary creatures. How do they know they haven't just had cat whiskers scrawled on their mugs?

 

We're not solitary, luv. We have a clan system as well as a form of government.



Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

 

Aren't all female vampires lesbians?

 

Just the hot ones.

 

No they are not because they don't have sex at all, remember? To reproduce they just bite people. It's all mitotic.


Vengeance, I am proud to have supporters such as you.

 

Vampires do too have sex! They have awesome levitating sex!

 

They have plenty of hot lesbian sex for pleasure. Lesbian sex is not utilzed for reproduction. That would be silly.

 

Yes we do.



Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

 

I've heard the theory that vampires are all bi. Or rather, have stopped bothering to care about gender.

Personally I think that's an excellent idea.

EDIT: *makes out with Eva_Pilot04*

 

I thought vampires were naturually good looking. Why would they need make-up?

 

*feels up Jjanda while making out with her*



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We're not all good looking, Yvette. I'll have to show you a pic of one of the blokes in Clan Nosferatu.






Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

 

Those Vamps are sexy.

 

You like the Nos?





Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

 

Mabye its permanent makeup? They make that right?

 

What I'd like to know is HOW do vampires have sex. They're dead. Their hearts don't beat. So how does a male vampire get his penis erect if his body can't pump blood into it?

 

Male vamps don't. It's only lesbian vamp sex. Jeez.